She Was Blue
by halcyon.18
Summary: Lauren and Eric both were Erudite, then they transfer to Dauntless. Can Lauren save Eric from his murderous ways? Or will the hunter always be out for the kill? This story starts two years before Divergent.
1. Chapter 1

Lauren's POV

I look at my reflection in the mirror of the small white bathroom. My brown wavy hair is pulled back into a low sleek ponytail. My blue blouse is tucked perfectly into my dark blue pencil skirt. Now all I need is to put on my glasses, that are fake, I can see perfectly but stupid Erudite thinks that this makes one look smarter, so most of us wear them.

Tomorrow I will be tested to see what faction I belong to. I already know how I feel and it's not Erudite, but I must keep appearances till the Choosing Ceremony. I'm headed to go meet my friends now to enjoy our last day with all of us together.

I walk out of the white bathroom into my room that's lined with bookshelves. No one knows, but some of these books aren't what they appear and I've covered their true titles or even hidden them from obvious sight. Sighing I exit my room and head to see Cara.

"So are you nervous?" Cara asks. "No not really." I say.

"She knows what she wants to be already, Cara. Therefore she has no need to worry," Eric says and I glare at him for telling her that. He just smirks back.

"Ones mind always knows the right path to follow," Cara responses and I roll my eyes as she gets up to leave the table. Leaving me with Eric, great.

Eric and I argue a lot, which one would say, means we like each other, well that's what the books in the library say.

His nose is pressed in a book about weapons. It's no secret that he's already committed to Dauntless even before we get tested.

I'm not that keen on sharing what I will choose to the rest of Erudite. So I made a fake cover to conceal the identity of the book that I'm actually reading. It's all about fighting, which a girl of my stature is going to need to survive if I choose Dauntless.

"The Principles of Mathematics, you do know in two days time that book won't matter to you," Eric says putting his book down and closing it.

"What makes you think it won't matter?" I ask setting the book down a little too hard for an Erudite.

"That right there is proof you're not staying here," he caught my flaw of almost slamming the book down.

I wake up from the simulation. "What were my results?" I ask the woman before me.

She looks startled but calms herself enough to say, "Dauntless"

I head back to Erudite with Cara next to me. Saying how she got Erudite and just knew she would never stray from the faction. In Erudite we were allowed to share our results with each other, but I wasn't that comfortable with sharing my results after the way the woman acted after my test. So I told her she'd find out tomorrow at the choosing ceremony.

"Lauren Dyer," Max announced and I got up to walk to the floor.

I take the knife from Max and cut my hand with the knife. I thought about my parents both doctors who couldn't make it today because they had more important things to do. When they knew their daughter wouldn't be coming home to them, that's why they didn't see me today. With that my blood dripped into the hot coals beneath it.

"DAUNTLESS!" Max announced and Dauntless cheered as I joined them.

There was no going back now.

After the last name is called all of the Dauntless stand and crowd around rushing us to the doors.

I pull myself up onto where the train will come.

Someone yells "Jump!" As the train approaches and we all start running. I've never been gladder that I wore my blue pants today. I knew Dauntless would probably make us run sooner then later.

I jump and grab onto the train and slip, a hand reaches out and pulls me on, Eric. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to pay attention to what he chose. Even though I knew it would be this.

An Amity girl, Mia smiles at us. I realize I still have ahold of Eric's hand. I let go and move far away from him. I sit on the train with my hand to my chest feeling how fast my heart is beating and knowing that I've already over exerted myself. I don't know what lies ahead yet.

I made it off the train and now I have to jump off a building. Are these people insane? Are they trying to kill us?

Eric goes second, what a show off. I decide to go fifth and face whatever is down there now rather then later.

I get on the ledge hold my breath and jump. I feel weightless and then I'm dropped into a net. Amar is there and he offers a hand to pull me out.

"Name initiate?" He says sternly.

"Lauren" I said kind of out of breath.

"FIFTH JUMPER, LAUREN!" He shouts and I join the group while we wait for the others to jump.

The last person, a Stiff hits the net and Amar silences us all.

"Alright first thing is first. I'm Amar and I'll be your instructor. Time to face your fears initiates. Follow me." We go down a rocky hall where there's a room that he leads us into we all line up on the cold wall.

"I'm going to inject you with this serum and it will activate your fears in that room and only I will see them. After that you will go to the dorms."

I can't shake the feeling of the spiders crawling all over me as we enter the dorms where we will be staying for initiation.

"Pick a bed! Grab clothes from this pile here that you think will fit you. Toss your clothes you're wearing in this bin, you won't need those anymore." Amar instructs.

I choose the bed next to the Stiff who has now given himself the name, Four, who names themselves after a number?

Anyway he seems a safer choice then Eric who has stayed as far from me as possible since we've arrived at the Dauntless compound.

We were awoken to a metal banging and the lights turning on.

"INITIATES! Get dressed and meet in The Pit in 10 minutes!" Amar shouts with groans from some of the Dauntless born.

I pull off my black sweatshirt and sweat pants and feel eyes on me, Eric and I think is name was Zeke. I glare and they both look away. Obviously they've never seen a girl in her underwear before. I slept with my sports bra on to avoid even more eyes at me. I put on a pair of socks and athletic like black pants, and then I put a dark red t-shirt on. I pulled my hair up in a high ponytail, one that would've never been allowed in Erudite and slid on my boots. I walked over to Mia who smiled as she was ready too and we walked down to The Pit.

Amar is standing there with Max. He looks more intimating now then at the Choosing Ceremony.

I stand with Mia at my left and Shawna at my right with Four next to her, then Zeke, then Eric. Who knew a day of Dauntless would change him this much? I must focus on the task at hand.

"Well what a group we have here. Most of you are Dauntless born, then there's the surprise of a Stiff and two Erudites and so forth. You are expected to complete training with the highest level of your skills. Fail to do so and you will be factionless." Max speaks yeah he's intimidating for sure.

Amar follows, "With that being said, on to breakfast and then fight training."


	2. Chapter 2

**Lauren's POV**

It's two weeks in and I've never felt my body hurt as much as it does now. So far we've fought against each other until one of us said stop. Today Amar informs us that it's till he says to stop. I head to the gym and brace myself for what the board says,

Fights for Today:

Four vs. Zeke

Shauna vs. Mia

Kate vs. John

Lauren vs. Eric

My stomach drops. Eric is doing well and I've seen his fights. He can make me unconscious in probably 30 seconds. This comes down to, how does one Erudite out smart the other?

"After today's fights rankings for stage one will be posted after dinner. With that being said, first pair. You're up!"

I watch Four intently. Who knew a Stiff could be so good at this? He has so much pent up anger or something because he knocks Zeke out in a minute and Amar calls the fight.

Shawna and Mia are laughable, though this isn't funny. Mia dances around the ring annoying the hell out of Shawna and then she charges, but Shawna being Dauntless born is better and wins the fight.

During Kate and John's fight I don't pay attention. I'm trying to remember all of what I read in the books along with what Amar has showed us. I don't have much muscle yet so I have to use my speed and momentum to help me and usually my smarts, but that won't help me in this case. All the guys have gained quite the amount of muscle already, especially Eric. Maybe if I pretend to be unconscious after awhile Amar will call it?

"John wins! Next pair," Amar shouts.

This is it. Eric is going to make me factionless probably.

I get in the ring and stand in position and so does he Amar yells start and Eric charges at me punching me in the stomach.

I lay for a second and Eric is over me, already wanting to finish me off. I can't give up that easily. His head comes close to mine and I head-butt him. He wasn't expecting that and I get up. I need to protect my face and stomach; I don't feel like vomiting it will show weakness.

Eric comes at me again and slows trying to figure out my move. He lowers the arm that was protecting his face and I take the opportunity to punch him straight in the jaw.

The boy that glares back at me now is scary and unlike the boy who picked on me at Erudite.

I'm going to lose this fight.

He kicks at my legs knocking them from under me and gets on top of me. I try to wiggle out but it's no use. I'm not strong enough for this. I elbow him in the throat and he coughs but punches me in the jaw and eye and everything goes black.

 **Eric's POV**

I'm in Max's office. He's supposed to be reprimanding me for beating Lauren unconscious. He knows why I'm here gunning for the first in class. Jeannie gave me an ultimatum and I have to do it. If not she'll kill my parents at Erudite and take Lauren out as well; she's seen how I act around her. I must protect them.

Max comes back with a piece of paper. It's Lauren's infirmary report. It's all scientific but being former Erudite I understand it. I gave her a concussion. I didn't think I lost it that bad but I did. I care about her but my rank is more important, since Jeannie threatened her too.

"Your rank will be affected by this. Jeannie will not be pleased. Leave." Max said sternly and I went to dinner with the other initiates.

They looked at me scared. Maybe that's what I needed to get to the top. Have everyone fear me so that I can win the fights easier, not that I couldn't do it on my own, because I could but it would help.

Amar shouted that the rankings were in the gym and to finish our meal and go see them.

I knew I wouldn't be first but it still angered me to see who was above me.

1\. Zeke

2\. Four

3\. Eric

4\. John

5\. Shauna

6\. Lauren

7\. Kate

8\. Mia

9\. Luke

10\. Casey

I knocked Lauren out of the top 5 but a Stiff above me? What the hell! He's improved but doesn't deserve that! And Lauren knocked that far down worries me that she'll have a life guarding the fence. Top 5 get their pick of jobs and everyone under gets to guard the fence. She's too intelligent for that and it would be a waste.

Fuming I walk away glad I don't have to do any more training for today.

My feet lead me in the direction I'd never hope to go, the infirmary.

I walk in and the nurse points to Lauren. She must know who I am and why I'm here. I don't even know why I'm here.

Lauren's sleeping she looks peaceful and not scared like I saw in her eyes today when I had her pinned. Her face is bruised and swollen. I did this. That angers me more and I walk out of the room to the gym.

 **Lauren's POV**

I walk into the dorms after spending the night in the infirmary to have all eyes on me. I walk to my bed and start getting fresh clothes for a shower. I'm not allowed to do fighting today as more practice but will do the knife throwing. Four leans over my bed and hands me a muffin. I forgot I missed breakfast so this was a kind offer. I smile and he walks out of the room.

I sit on my bed and pick at my muffin. I'm hungry but I just don't feel like eating. Shauna comes and sits at my bed next to me.

"You okay there kiddo?" she asks me and I nod my head. She gets the hint that I don't want to be bothered and leaves.

We watch Amar as he hits the target every time with the knives. I read that it's all about how you stand and at what angle you throw. I watch Amar's stance and hope that I can create something close to it that will work for me.

Amar instructs us to pick up three knives and to start throwing. Surprisingly, Eric stands at my right side. Is he going to try to apologize? Or does he now feel the need to watch me incase I break?

I don't throw my knife. I keep practicing how I'm going to aim it at the target. Zeke makes a comment on whether or not I'm going to throw it and I ignore him. He hasn't made it near the certain which is a disgrace for a Dauntless born.

Eric hits his first knife into the board close to the target, but not exactly. He throws the second one with rage and it goes over the board.

"Erudite! Hit the board not over it!" Amar yells at him and we all laugh. That angers him more and he goes to get more knives but Amar won't let him.

I practice one more time and I feel confident enough to release it. I do and it hits the target perfectly in the center. Everyone stops and looks at me.

"What the fuck!" Zeke says in disbelief.

I turn to him, "At least I can hit the target," and I throw another one straight into the center to prove that I could do it again, and be arrogant about it.

I swore I saw a smirk on Eric's face but as I turn more towards him it's quickly replaced with his blank anger look. Amar approaches me as I throw my third knife, straight into the target again.

"Lauren, have you done this before?" he asks quietly to not disrupt the group.

I put my hands behind my back, "No sir I haven't."

"Did you poke your nose in a book or two at Erudite about fighting and skills like this?" he asks with a smirk.

I look down, "Maybe sir."

He laughs and shakes his head, "back up behind me and see if you can still hit the target," and he hands me another knife.

I look at him like he's crazy at first but nod and do it. I practice my stance with the knife in my hand a couple times and release. I hit the target perfectly and Amar smiles.

Eric hits the target in the center finally, he must've finally figured out what I was doing to get it center to the target and Zeke mumbles something about us "smart ass Erudites" under his breath.

"You!" Amar says to me, "Are dismissed for lunch early, go."

I guess I didn't need anymore practice for the day since I easily hit the target. So decide to go back to the dorms and get a tank top to put on. I can either do one of two things, go to lunch early or go to the tattoo shop…I'm the only one who hasn't gotten anything yet, besides a hoop in my nose, but that's just a piercing.

I enter the tattoo shop and see a woman and man, surprised to see an initiate here this early probably.

"Hi I'm Tori, how can I help you?" she asks.

"I'm here to get a tattoo, but not exactly sure what I want yet."

"There's art on the walls, have a look," she gestures to the wall.

Looking through them, my eyes keep coming back to an intricate design that has two faction symbols in it. I know that I want that with Erudite and Dauntless.

I walk over to Tori and show her the design and what two factions I want on it.

"This is a bigger piece for your first tattoo, are you sure?" she asks and I nod yes.

"Okay where at?" and I point to the top of my left arm. It will cover from the top down to almost my elbow. I want this.

Getting a tattoo is a strange concept now. I read once that they used to use needles and spend hours doing it. Now all Tori does is measure and cut the design out and put it on an ink pad like thing that gets hooked up to a tube that will make it permanently distribute the ink into my skin.

It feels weird at first but then everything goes numb and twenty minutes later, Tori indicates that it is done and takes the patch off of my arm.

I look at it in the mirror. I am truly at Dauntless now.

I walk into the cafeteria and get stares. I'm hoping it's because of my new ink that is on display but word probably got around about my knife throwing.

I sit in between Four and Shauna. Both look at me and then notice my arm, and so do Zeke and Eric.

"She did it!" Shauna says a little too loudly and I shush her.

"You're a badass now Lauren, hitting the center of the target that easily and getting a tattoo. It's only lunch too!" Zeke says and we all laugh, including Eric.

We walk back to the dorms after dinner and I notice it's only Eric and I in the hallway.

"Lauren," he says as he grabs my arm and I wince away.

"What" I say with annoyance as I turn to face him. I can only see the outline of his face but I can tell he's conflicted on whether or not he should speak to me.

"You did great today," he comes closer to me as he says that…what on earth is he doing?

"Thanks" I say confused, and then he quickly presses his lips to mine and I press back.

He holds me close to him as we keep kissing each other. I don't want to let go but neither does he, we hear footsteps and he waits till the last possible second to let me go. He walks to the dorms leaving me breathless.

It took Eric Coulter this long to kiss me. In Dauntless. During initiation.

 ** _Two chapters! Let me know what you think, 5 reviews and I'll post the next chapter :)_**


	3. Chapter 3

Lauren's POV

We had now reached the third and final stage of training before our initiation. The dreaded fear landscapes. It was the third time I was going into my fear landscape.

I couldn't shake the feel of the spiders all over me, suffocating, being claustrophobic, uncontrollable bleeding, being kidnapped and drowning.

Amar said it would get better, but I'm not so sure about that. We learned Four only has four fears which is a Dauntless record and obviously why Amar gave him that nickname.

I'm sitting waiting to be called in to go through my fear landscape with Zeke. I have to say, Zeke is such an ass, but he's making training bearable with his joke.

The door opens and Amar calls me in. I enter and sit back into the chair, ready to get this over with.

He puts the needle in my neck, "Remember to keep calm and slow your heart rate," he says and the darkness happens.

First it's the spiders, it's always how this begins.

It starts by one crawling near me and me smashing it with my foot. Then more come and I can no longer kill them so I crouch down and try to breathe, but I can't.

I keep gasping for air and receive none. I start panicking and trying to remember that this isn't going to last forever.

I'm in the middle of Erudite. This is strange. I feel pain in my hand and look to see blood pouring out of it. I try to put pressure on it with my other hand but it won't stop and now my fingernails are bleeding from that hand. Blood rushes from my nose and eyes next. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing.

Now I'm walking the halls of Dauntless when someone grabs me from behind and I try to fight them off. I do but the person has no face and I gasp as two more of them grab my shirt and start dragging me away. I fight and kick but it's no use. They have me and I don't even know who they are. I give up resisting and apparently that was enough to go to my next fear, drowning.

I'm deep in the water and no matter how many times I try and swim up to air there is no escape. I swim to the left and still nothing; finally I swim down and let the water take me.

I wake up out of breath and coughing as Amar confirms my results on the computers.

"10 minutes Lauren, you're alright," he says now noticing my discomfort, "If you could cut that in half by just remembering to be calm and using your surroundings, I bet you that you'll make the top of the class."

I just look at him and nod.

"I'll give you a minute and then you're to leave."

I nod again and decide to get up and leave without saying anything to him. I'm sure he's used to the initiates being like this after their fear landscapes.

I don't want to go inside to the dorms. I feel suffocated as it is from what I just experienced. I don't know if I'm allowed out on the roof but Shauna told me about it, so I head there.

I make it there without any trouble and lay down on the roof as a light breeze touches my face.

I don't know how long I was there lost in thought until someone approached me.

I look up to see Eric looking down at me with worry in his eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"I'd ask if you're okay but obviously not," he sits down next to me and then decides to lie as well.

"What's the worst part about yours?" he asks me, funny because I know he won't share his with anyone.

I roll to face him, "If I tell you one of mine you have to tell me one of yours, it's only fair, Eric."

"I don't want anyone using my weaknesses against me," meaning he's not telling anyone so that they can beat him.

"Stubborn asshole," I retort which causes him to look at me surprised that I used that I cursed at him.

He sits up and so do I just looking at each other. Then he moves to my face and both of our cross legs touch kneecaps as he moves even closer.

"If you tell me I might be able to help you," he softly says, scanning my eyes for any signs that I'm going to give in.

"Or you'll use it against me since you're gunning for the top."

"I won't do that to you," he puts his hand on my leg.

"I don't believe you."

He goes in to kiss me and I kiss back but push his chest throwing him off of me as I stand up.

"You will not use me like that. You will not steal kisses from me thinking that I'll melt into a puddle and tell you everything and anything you want to know, Eric" I emphasize his name hoping that really gets the point across.

He stares at me more shocked, I've taken on the Dauntless persona a lot these past weeks. I'm not the girl he can tease anymore. I'm becoming a warrior.

"I would never use you Lauren. I just wanted to help," his blue eyes pierce into me.

"You beat me unconscious, ignore me and then turn around completely and be like this. I don't get it Eric. What is it here that has changed you?"

He clenches his fists, something I notice that he now does when he's angry.

"I can't tell you, yet" and with that he walks away opening the door to the roof entrance and slamming it shut as he leaves.

I decide to punch bags in the gym with Shauna and Four for the rest of the night.

I'm punching pretty hard and Four takes notice, "Fear landscapes got you that mad?"

I huff, "It's not like we all have four fears," and Shauna laughs.

"I didn't mean it that way…" he says and looks away from me as he starts punching his bag again.

"Sorry," I change the subject, "What are you guys doing later?"

"Going to the Pit with Zeke," Shauna replies, they obviously have a thing.

"Nothing" Four says.

"Want to go on an adventure with me?" I ask him and he looks concerned.

"We can't leave the compound Lauren."

"No, but we can explore some of the secret areas that Shauna told me about!"

He looks at Shauna for confirmation, "They're perfectly okay to go on, Four. I only call them secret cause I grew up here and no one tells the transfers."

"Fine. What time Lauren?"

"After dinner?" He nods and we keep punching at the bags.

Four and I steal a small bottle of alcohol from the Pit before making our way to the one secret path I've been wishing to go on.

It's a little awkward between us at first, but Four isn't a bad guy. He's from Abnegation and no one has tried to get him to talk about his life more. My Erudite curiosity wants to know things, so that's my ultimate plan.

"Where does this lead?" Four finally asks.

"To where there used to be a pool."

"And we are allowed here?"

I roll my eyes and turn to him, "Yes…come on we're almost there!"

A few more steps and here we are. It's better then what I imagined. The pool that slowly goes into being 10 foot deep is free of water and has ladders in it to get in. There's glass roof above it and I realize it's what we saw on the way to the compound.

Four and I both take it in and I started crawling down the ladder and he follows with the bottle in his hand.

We have the bottle half gone and I can tell that Four and I are going to be great friends.

"So what made you want to be Dauntless?" he asks me.

"I never fit in at Erudite. I kept my appearances but I may have made fake book covers to hide the fact that I was reading weapon and fighting style books," we laugh.

"That seems like a lot of effort to put in to read a book!"

"Hey! You saw me throw knives that first day so don't even start!" He shakes his head and takes a swig from the bottle, "What made you leave being a Stiff?"

He almost chokes on the liquid. He knew I was going to ask this, he had to have known.

"You're still a Nose you know?"

"Answer my question."

"I left because of my father," he says seriously.

"Did you not like him?"

"If I tell you, you can't tell anyone? Amar knows and anyone who knows my real name figures it, but I can't let it be known here, understood?"

I nod yes.

"Marcus Eaton was my father," he takes a long swig from the bottle.

I'm too stunned to process. I didn't think most of what Erudite published in their papers was true. They mostly did it to get their way, their power. How he said it, I know what they published was true.

Four was abused by his father, his father beat him; he is Tobias Eaton.

He just looks down letting me process what he said. I've seen marks on his back but he's told everyone that it was nothing.

"Four…" he looks at me, "I'm so sorry…"

"It's not your fault. I had to get away from that man. He is filled with so much hate. I couldn't take it anymore…"

I take a sip from the bottle and hug Four, which ends in me practically on his lap holding him. I'm probably making him more uncomfortable, but this is how I know to console him.

"Today is your final testing. Ranks will be posted after dinner. The top 3 initiates get first pick of the jobs. Top 5 get the highest positions and most likely the rest of you will be on the fence unless we see a special quality in you that we need elsewhere. Tomorrow morning I want the top 3 at my office by 8AM. You will pick your jobs and be assigned to an apartment. I'll explain more tomorrow." Amar says and gets into the room where the others will watch our fear landscapes.

I've made it this far. I can do this.

I finish my fear landscape in 4 minutes 45 seconds. I cut it down a little more then half and Amar smiles as me as I exit the room of leaders that just watched my greatest fears.

At dinner we all kind of play with our food too excited to eat.

Eric keeps fidgeting his legs. Kate and Mia don't even try to eat the food in front of them. Zeke and Shauna are too coupley for us to even pay attention to, so Four and I just made small talk.

Finally. Max, Amar, and other leaders take places at the balcony that oversees the cafeteria. Max shouts and everyone goes silent.

"Today we have officially welcomed 10 new members into our faction. These members are crucial to our development and I can't wait to see what they do to help our society. Initiates, we will display your rankings now," as Max finishes speaking the screen goes up.

1\. Four

2\. Eric

3\. Lauren

4\. Zeke

5\. Shauna

6\. John

7\. Luke

8\. Mia

9\. Casey

10\. Kate

The cafeteria erupts and we are picked up my Dauntless members and surfed through the crowd.

I placed third. I get a high position job. I get my own apartment.

I look at Eric with a smile and he doesn't return it. His face is as solid as stone.

The realization hits me. A Stiff beat him and he's second. Not first and Eric always has to win.

 **I moved fast with intitiaion on purpose because once Eric and Lauren become full members much more interesting things happen ;) Leave me reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Lauren's POV**

The celebration doesn't stop. I'm drunk and in the Pit dancing away with Four, Mia, Luke, Shauna, and Zeke. We made it through initiation. Four and I were in the top 3 so that was enough for us to celebrate.

They'd given Four his apartment already and I offered to help him decorate it, because let's face it the Abnegation in him has no clue where to begin. He bought clothes and sheets for the bed so far.

We were all given credits to buy clothes for tonight and us girls went shopping. I bought a skin-tight body dress. I really got a good shape to my body after training. I gained some muscle, my stomach was rock solid, and I have curves now that became more defined.

In this dress and heels, I looked incredible. Shauna even helped me with makeup and I can't wait to buy some of my own.

Four trusted me and I trusted him, but I was never prepared for what happened when more alcohol got into our bodies.

Zeke and Shauna, Mia and Luke, and Four and I were in pairs grinding on each other. Who would've ever thought that I would've been grinding on a former Abnegation boy?

Four turned me around and kissed me. Man, alcohol can do wonders! I kissed back and moved my hands around his neck and through his hair.

The only indecent thing you can't do at Dauntless in public is fuck. This was acceptable.

I was waiting for the moment when he pulled me from the crowd and he did. I knew we were headed to his new apartment and that the bed would be the destination. We'd both never had sex before, but didn't care at this moment. If it was going to happen then so be it.

It's the alcohol's entire fault.

What I wasn't expecting was to be pulled away from Four and met by Eric. Eric punched him in the face and they started back and fourth till Four was on the ground, obviously not wanting the fight to go any further.

Eric towered over him, "YOU RANK FIRST AND THEN YOU TRY TO FUCK LAUREN, WATCH YOUR BACK STIFF!"

I looked at Four concerned and Eric grabbed my arm and dragged me down the hallway.

"What the fuck was that Eric? What are you doing?" I demanded.

"He's not the only one that got a new place already," he growled at me.

We hadn't picked jobs yet, how did both of them get apartments 4 hours after the results were announced?

Eric and I go on an elevator and I don't resist. If I get him alone I may be able to get more out of him.

We get off and he walks down the hall and turns to a door on the left and scans his finger in the keypad and it opens.

There's minimal furniture, but I see alcohol already on the counter in the kitchen.

"Sit," he says and motions to the couch, I oblige.

"Why did you just drag me away from Four, Eric?"

"He was about to take YOU to bed Lauren! I watched you two and I know what I saw!"

I laughed, "Jealousy doesn't look well on you Eric. Too bad there's nothing between us for you to be jealous."

He sits next to me and gets in my face, "Like hell there is Lauren Dyer."

"I don't want to be with you Eric. I don't like who you've become. You're a ruthless, arrogant bastard." I get up to leave and he stops me, again. I don't have time for his games, so I knee him in the crotch and he drops to the floor.

He tries to grab at my ankles but I quickly hurry out of his reach and slip out the door.

I wake up with the worst headache and then a recollection of last night's Eric and Four battles. I groan and hear Shauna laugh at me.

Some of still stayed in the initiate dorm. Apparently if it was obvious what your rank would be or if you were Dauntless-born they offered apartments to you already, which is why some were already gone from the dorms.

I have to get packed with what I have in a duffle bag and meet with Eric, Four, and Max. Why couldn't we do this separately? I don't want to face either of them, or even be in the same room as Eric.

Max lets the three of us into a conference room and hands us papers of jobs we can pick from. Some are select for top 3 while others run with anything in-between that and a statement saying if you were at the bottom your at the fence.

The list of jobs offered to top 3:

-Leadership Apprentice

-Faction Representative

-Second in Command at Department of Weapons

-Surveillance Room

-Leadership Security

-Government Official

-Leadership Assistant

-Leadership Secretary

-Faction Security

And I flip to the second page to look at the rest. The word "infirmary" catches my eyes. My parents are both doctors and I shadowed them a lot and helped with the nurses, so it kind of makes sense. I'm former Erudite as well so I know more then what most probably do in the infirmary.

-Infirmary Head Nurse

-Infirmary Nurse

-Infirmary Assistant

-Infirmary Phlebotomist

-Infirmary Women Health Services

-Infirmary Men Health Services

"Four since you ranked first, I wish to offer you the position of Leadership Apprentice. Hank will be retiring soon and we need to fill his position, which would make you a leader in one year's time," Max says and I swear Eric is going to break the chair's arms with how tight he is holding his fists.

It makes me almost want to laugh at how stupid he is being for a former Erudite.

I'm avoiding all eye contact with him since last night. He's utterly pissed at me as well.

"I thank you for the offer Max, but I wish to serve my duties elsewhere," Four says and Max looks surprised.

"Very well, where do you wish to be placed?"

"Surveillance Room…and I know you said that we would be able to help with initiate training so I wish to do that as well sir."

Max has his assistant type this down, who is also in the room. I wonder if this is the first time someone has turned down a future leadership position.

"Eric Coulter, will you accept the leadership apprentice position or do I have to offer it to Lauren?" Max asks and arrogant Eric answers.

"I wish to accept sir," he says with a smug grin looking at Four.

He's totally going to make good on his promise and make Four's life hell.

"Good, you'll be help with your former faction," Max laughs, actually genuinely laughs and then turns to me.

"Lauren, what is your selection?"

I want to say Faction Representative but it sounds like the Erudite side of me will be in full effect for that. I kind of want to be a nurse…and help with initiation…it might be bold of me but I continue anyway.

"Infirmary Head Nurse and Initiation Training Assistant."

"Lauren, you ranked top 3. I know I made it clear that you can pick anything, but Head Nurse is currently for only those working in the infirmary as a nurse already. I'll tell you what. I'll let you what you may assist the initiate training since it's only a couple weeks out of the year. I feel you would be a good fit for Leadership Assistant or Faction Representative. I wish not to waste your skill," he says concerned.

"I understand sir, but I feel that Faction Representative would be more Erudite of me then Dauntless. I shadowed my parents at work and know how to complete tasks that a nurse does which is why I feel like I would be better in that area and work my way up to head nurse," I say honestly.

He looks at me actually speechless. He's thinking and I feel Eric stare at me like I'm the biggest idiot for wanting to be a simple nurse.

"Well, since Eric and Four are all set up with jobs and apartments you both may leave and pick your phones up at my secretary's desk. Lauren, stay here and we will get you situated." He stands up and so do they shaking each other's hands and thank you etc.

He sits back down across from me as his assistant keeps her eyes on her computer.

"You Erudite born are always troublesome," he says jokingly.

"Sorry sir," I say.

"No, you want what's best for yourself which is why I have to respect that. It's very Dauntless of you to not push yourself into something you don't want to do. I'll talk to the head nurse, Ellen and see if she'd be willing to take you on. I don't doubt your capabilities but we always have very few nurses because no one can stomach it. They're pretty much assistants to Ellen who does a ton more then just a nurse. Head nurse is like a doctor here since we don't have them like Erudite does. If anything's too bad the patients get sent there. I want you to understand that you will see and experience a lot which is why it's considered a lower job."

I just nod at all of this. I know what I'm taking on.

"Here's what I'm going to do Lauren. You're one of the highest-ranking women we've had in a while. I'm going to give you three duties. One, third-assistant to me, which is only when I go out of faction or for some reason need you. Second, infirmary nurse if Ellen approves and she will. You can work you way up to Head Nurse when the time comes if you choose, that is a high position. Third, initiation aid. Does this sound okay?"

I can deal with this, "Yes sir."

"Good now on to your housing. There's two apartment open on floor B."

Floors are by letter, A being the highest and for leaders…I'm surprised I'm eligible for B with my job choosing.

He continues, "One is facing the old Ferris wheel and has a balcony and the other faces the city with a balcony. Both are extremely large and we can get you whatever you would need to furnish it with no use of your credits since you ranked third. What will be your choice?"

His assistant gets ready to type. The city view will remind me too much of Erudite. The Ferris wheel view will be quieter and I could read books on that side on the balcony.

"The Ferris wheel side sir."

I sat my new phone down on the kitchen counter of my apartment. I'm still taking it all in. It's perfect for me.

There's a paper I fill out for what I want in furniture and accessories so I start filling it out being that this is literally just an apartment with walls at the moment, and a fridge, stove, and dishwasher in the kitchen.

Living Room:

-Black couch

-Black table

-Floor lamp

-Table lamp

-Two book cases

Kitchen:

-Coffee Pot

-Dishtowels

-Silverware

-Pots

-Pans

-Plates

-Bowls

Bedroom:

-Burgundy sheets

-Black comforter

-4 pillows

-Nightstand

-Lamp

-Curtains for balcony door

Bathroom:

-Towels

-Shower rack

Well that list was exhausting. Shauna had thankfully went and bought me makeup and other essentials with my credits since I was settling everything else.

All the items I requested on the sheet were going to be set up for me during dinner.

I headed down the hall to 47B, Four's apartment.

I knocked twice and he opened the door looking like I was going to yell at him.

"Hey, need some help?" I said with a smile.

"Uh yeah actually…a lot. What about your place though?"

"I have nothing in it yet till tonight," he motioned me into his place.

It was a studio like apartment, very open unlike mine, which had variations of rooms.

He currently had things everywhere and I laughed. Erudite were very organized people. He picked the right friend for this job.

"It's so bad I know…hey about last night I'm sorry…" he blurted out.

I sit on his couch and start going through the boxes of kitchen stuff he got.

"Four, don't worry about it okay?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now I'm going to hand you stuff and tell you were to put it, okay?"

He looks at me and smiles, "I thought you were going to completely organize this mess for me and not sit on your ass and boss me around," we laugh.

I hit him gently and hand him a stack of plates. I like the friendship Four and I have built.

I sit at dinner with Four, Zeke, and Shauna everyone else has either branched their own way or is busy. We get texts about our jobs and my training at the infirmary starts tomorrow at 8AM, good thing I don't mind early mornings.

"Wait what are your apartment numbers again? I want to put it in my phone," Zeke says to Four and I.

"47B is mine and Lauren's is 33B. I'd tell you Shauna's too but we all know you've been there already," Four and I laugh and Zeke kicks us both under the table.

"The apartments on B Floor have to be so nice and spacious. D Floor is small. I'd hate to see what you get if you don't rank top 5," Zeke remarks.

"A roommate, you idiot," Shauna says and kisses him.

"Uh oh," Zeke says and we all turn to see Eric walking in looking extra pissed, "he's walking okay so his balls must not hurt anymore!"

"Zeke!" We all say and laugh again as Eric passes the table.

"He's such an ass, was he that bad in Erudite, Lauren?" Shauna asks me, "No, he had his moments but never this bad, guess Dauntless brought it out in him," I reply.

I get back to my room and I have furniture! They put the bookcases up and will get whatever books I want from home and their collection. The kitchen is full of boxes. My bed is made with my new bedding and there are sheer black curtains on the balcony door and windows. My bedroom is pretty plain right now but it will do.

I'll probably want a desk or something and I need chairs for the balcony but this will do.

I'm putting away my kitchen stuff when there's a knock at my door.

Please don't be Eric.

I open it slowly, of course it's him, but I don't let him in.

"What do you want?" I ask annoyed.

"To talk to you," he stands with his arms crossed.

I roll my eyes, "I thought I made it clear Eric that I don't want to talk to you?"

"You know when I become a leader you'll have to show respect to me."

I laugh, "Maybe by then you'll earn it," and I slam my door in his face.

I expect him to knock again but instead he punches the code in my keypad and let's himself in.

"What the fuck Eric! How can you even do that?!"

"Leadership Apprentice perks. Now you're going to talk to me," he sits on my new couch that I haven't even sat on yet!

I pour a glass of whiskey, something I've grown to like going down my throat.

"Can you not drink while I talk to you?"

I chug it down, "There. Now talk, I'm busy."

"Is your apartment okay?" He looks around after asking this.

"You could've texted me this, Eric."

"I don't have your phone number," he now stands up and comes to lean on the other side of the counter from me.

I roll my eyes, "If those 'Leadership Apprentice perks' can get you my access code to my door they sure as hell can get you my phone number."

He hesitates, "Lauren, I realized that I really like you. What happened during initiation wasn't personal."

"Initiation has been over for a day now. Glad to hear becoming a member has changed you so fast." I start putting my kitchen stuff away again. I don't want to hear this, not now.

He watches me.

"What part of I don't want to be with you don't you get? I have duties of my own now. I have three jobs Eric. I can't let you get in the way I've what I need to do here."

"How did you end up with three jobs?" He spits that out, pissed.

"Because I'm a high ranking woman. That's why. I have to get up early and I want to at least get the kitchen put away, is there anything else you want to say?" I have to stand my ground with him.

As much as I used to like Eric, yes I can admit that now, Dauntless has made him an ass.

"You just wait Lauren," and with that he leaves.

 ** _Well, a lot goes down in this chapter! Leave me reviews, how am I doing? What do we think Eric's going to do?_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Eric's POV**

One month since I became a full Dauntless member.

Everything was going well job wise, but not Lauren.

She is under my skin, but wants nothing to do with me. I beat her unconscious and took Four off of her. What can I say? Initiation was brutal and I needed to get to the top. Jeannie promised me Dauntless Leader if I was ranked first, but that damn Stiff beat me.

She has some top-secret mission for Max and I. I'm not surprised that this is how the top of the factions work taking bribes and who knows what else.

The only people I talk to are Harrison and Max, even though Harrison knows I'm his replacement. He hasn't said if he's going to fall into the chasm or go factionless, but he's got a year yet anyway.

We're sitting having dinner now, I see Lauren walk in with another girl from the infirmary that she's made friends with I assume.

She sits with Zeke and Four of course. Four has got more…what's the word…uptight? Since he has been here. He's guarded which makes me think he's hiding something.

Lauren pulls her dark blonde hair up into a ponytail and she looks exhausted. I've checked up on her. She's doing so well that they probably will make her head nurse, and that makes me proud. She works long hours though and I only ever see her in here for dinner.

Max kicks me under the table, "Quit staring at her," he says, shit he saw me.

"I don't know…" I start but he stops me.

"You're infatuated with Lauren, we aren't stupid."

Harrison adds, "Were you two a thing in Erudite?"

"No, I was afraid of rejection at the time." They saw my fear landscape…they know what I mean.

They both keep eating their third hamburger and I think they dropped the subject.

"You know once you become a Leader here you won't have time for women, so maybe it's for the best but at least go get laid weekly…or daily." Harrison says and Max laughs, I just shake my head.

Harrison and I are going out tonight to patrol the factionless sector with a group of 8 other Dauntless men so we discuss that.

 **Lauren's POV**

12 hour or more days and dealing with pain in the ass Dauntless who come in to complain or are actually in pain.

Tonight Ellen asked us to stay longer incase there were any problems with the factionless sector patrol.

Eric is on that patrol, but I know he can take care of himself.

Right now I'm stitching up two guys who decided to throw glass bottles at each other. This is usually what I deal with all the drunken fight patients.

Ellen has given me some bigger tasks but not much. I popped a kneecap back into place, that was exciting as this got.

Ellen comes marching in from her office, "Patrol went south, we've got 4 injured on the way and one in serious that we may have to send to Erudite, if he makes it. Five minutes get ready people!"

I try to push the thought out of my head of Eric as Lance and I prep anything we would need quickly for the injured soldiers.

The first enters with Max running here trying to find out who's injured. Ellen sends it Lance's way and mine. Luke is behind him yelling what happened to Max as the rest comes in. I've been in here for 10 hours and it's about to get very long.

"Max it's Harrison!" Luke yells. Harrison is the eldest leader and right now I can't even make out his face from the amount of blood on it. This doesn't look good.

I get the IV and put it in with saline water to start. Lance is cutting open his shirt and then yells at me to get gauze on the wounds. I start counting…two…five…eight bullet wounds.

There's so much blood.

"Kate come here!" Even though she ranked last they offered her this. They don't want many women on the fence.

She grabs more gauze as Lance continues to hook up machines to Harrison.

I let my eyes graze the room for Eric and I meet his eyes with a bloody open wound on his face. He is last priority at the moment. So he just watches. The look in his face kills me, as he knows that Harrison isn't doing well and I'm helping to try to save him.

"Lauren! Let Kate hold the wounds! Go get 4 containers of O negative blood!"

I run past Eric and into the office and equipment area, there's blood everywhere.

I come back and hand Ellen the bags, it's this bad that she is involved. There are only six nurses total and four of us are with Harrison.

The heart monitor is beeping, "Heart rate dropping with BP!" I yell.

"Fuck," Ellen says as she pulls two bullets out to try and help matters.

"He's flat-lining!"

"He's on DNR!"

Silence fills the room.

Ellen speaks, "Time of death 10:33PM."

The silence continues and Dauntless leader just died and we couldn't save him, I didn't save him.

"Wash up, fix the rest of these men up and then we will go to the funeral," Ellen says and we listen.

Dauntless waste no time in burying their dead the funeral will be held in two hours.

I wash up and somehow get assigned to stich up Eric.

"This is going to burn a little," I say not making eye contact as I press the anti-septic into the wound and he hisses, "sorry" I whisper.

"It's not your fault," he whispers back and he meets my eyes. I feel a pull in my stomach…that look just showed me the thing I never thought I'd see here from him, he cares.

I start the stiches and tie the end.

"There, you're fixed up," I say and squeeze his shoulder gently.

"Thanks," he says and gets up giving me a small smirk.

Ellen tells us all how good we did today and we head to our separate homes.

I reach my door, unlock it, and find Eric inside sitting on my couch.

I'm too upset to argue and too tired to even care he's here. I simply huff and put my bag down that contains my bloody clothes. Eric watches me but doesn't say anything.

I surprise myself by sitting next to him and putting my head on his shoulder. I need Eric, my friend, now.

He leans back into the couch and wraps his one arm around me and we just sit in silence. He just lost one of his friends and I couldn't save him.

"You did everything you could, Lauren."

"Its still the worst feeling to watch someone's life go out of them…"

"It was a bad ambush. The factionless fought back they knew that we were coming. Harrison was ahead and they attacked him because he's the eldest. He took bullets for all of us, a true Dauntless."

I lean away a little and look up at him, "How'd you get your face cut open?"

"I hesitated for one second and a fucking bastard got me."

I go to get up and he pulls me on to his lap. We're eye to eye.

"I can't go another day without not kissing you again," and he softly puts his lips to mine. I don't hesitate. I knew he'd probably come and kiss me. Eric gets what Eric wants.

I'm fully straddling his lap and my arms are around his neck as his hold my waist. Our lips sync perfectly together.

He starts kissing down my neck and my collarbones, as their exposed in my tank top I have on.

Suddenly he pulls away, "Lauren, if you want me to stop tell me don't give in because you think it's what I want and then I'll leave you alone, because I'll never not be apart of you."

He gives me that look again and my heart drops to the floor. He cares about me. The idiot just has a fucked up way of showing it.

I kiss him as my answer. He pulls me closer and picks me up so that he can place me down on the couch as he lies on top.

My hands travel down his abs and to his waist.

He rubs against my core and I feel that he is hard.

This is where this is going. This is how it's happening, with Eric, the first boy who ever took interest in me. He can take me all now.

He pulls away again to look at me for reassurance and I nod.

I pull up on the bottom of his shirt and he moves far away enough to take it off. He's so sculpted. I run my hands down his chest and a low grow escapes his lips.

I move and take my shirt off. I have an actual bra on now since my sports bra got ruined from work, it's simple black but Eric gazes over me. I don't have the biggest breasts so I kind of become self-conscious in the fact that in minutes Eric is going to see all of me.

He bends down and places a soft kiss in between my breasts. My hands trail through his hair and he picks me up enough to undo the back of my bra and he gently removes it. Looking into my eyes the entire time. I wonder what he's searching for.

Suddenly I'm exposed and it takes everything in me to not cover myself with my arms. I don't know how this all works and I wonder if Eric is even a virgin like myself.

His weight drops on me as he comes to whisper in my ear, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I reply and he moves to hover above me and crashes his lips to mine.

The friction of our bodies and him touching me makes me want him more. I've never felt like this my body is reacting in all kinds of ways.

Suddenly he pulls away and picks me up off the couch and I squeal. We're both standing making out again.

I start kicking off my boots and socks and he does the same. Then he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom. Before setting me on the bed he undoes my pants and pulls them down to the ground before picking me up and me kicking them off.

He places me down and takes his pants off. I'm nervous.

He comes above me and whispers, "beautiful," and starts kissing every inch of my bare skin. He gets down to my waist and just above my panties I start moving his lips are driving me wild.

He slips his hand down my underwear and starts rubbing my clit. I moan and he kisses me. My body has never felt so much pleasure as it does right now.

I decide to pleasure him back by gently grabbing him through his underwear and he freezes.

His eyes meet mine and there's so much lust behind them as I bite my lip. I will never want anyone as much as I want Eric right now.

He slowly slid my panties off and suddenly I'm not nervous. I'm ready and my body is ready.

Once there off he slides a finger in me and then another, I writher beneath him.

I grab his underwear and courageously pull them off until he stops me and does it. He's huge.

We kiss again passionately and I feel him at my entrance.

"This is going to hurt sweetheart," of course he knows I haven't gone this far with anyone.

"Look at me," he demands.

"I want this Eric. I want you." That was all the reassurance he needed. He slid a condom on and slowly pushed in.

It hurt so badly. It was the worst thing that I have ever experienced so far in my young life.

I must've made a noise that sounded like I was in pain cause he stopped and concern was written on his face.

"It will get better I promise, your so tight" and he slowly started to go in and out.

The pleasure came and we were all over each other with our hands, our mouths…it was unlike anything I'd ever felt before.

My orgasm was strong and he followed behind me.

Both panting messes as he rolled off of me. I stayed for a second and then got up realizing I was probably bleeding. I ran to the bathroom and I was. I cleaned up and came out to Eric in his underwear and him finishing changing the sheets.

He lies down and motions for me to come lay with him, "here" he says as he tosses me my nightshirt that I gladly slip over my body.

We both should be at the funeral, but don't want this moment to end.

As I'm curled up next to Eric he plays with my hair and I fall asleep.

I wake up alone and check to see what time it is. My phone says 7:30am, shit I have 30 minutes to get to work. There's a text from Eric as well:

Duty calls. Last night was everything. I'll see you later sweetheart xo

Who knew he could be so sweet?

I arrive at work and can tell that everyone is gossiping, after all that's one of Dauntless' favorite past times besides fighting.

"Did you hear?" Kate asks and I shake my head no.

"They made an eighteen year old a Dauntless Leader…we usually don't care about age here but being that he's been Dauntless for a month use Dauntless – borns are concerned!" Lance exclaims as he walks past me with a box of gauze.

"Are you saying that Eric is a Leader?" I ask.

Ellen answers this one; "There's that Erudite brain of yours!"

"How is that possible?"

"He had one month training so that apparently is enough to make him a Leader," Lance says as he comes back again with more supplies.

There are no patients because most Dauntless spend the night and leave in the morning.

I go through paper work from last night when I get the news text on my phone. The headline reads, "DAUNTLESS LEADER DEAD" followed by, "NEW DAUNTLESS LEADER ERIC COULTER." Since it's official, I guess I'll answer his text now:

You should've said new Dauntless Leader duties.

I decide to reply with just that.

What was last night to him, a celebration knowing he was going to get Leader so he had to get laid?

 _Uh oh! Leave me reviews xo_


	6. Chapter 6

**Lauren's POV**

I feel myself start to wake up and I try to fight it. I want sleep to win and come over me again.

Two days since everything has gone down and Eric became a Dauntless Leader.

He hasn't made any effort to contact me, which I can't tell if it's because he's now a leader or he's using me, probably the latter.

I don't have to come into work today until afternoon. There are two things I can do.

One read and relax until then or two go give Eric hell for this shit he pulled.

I groan…I need to set Eric straight.

* * *

I head to the Leader Offices. I'm allowed access here because of my rank and that I'm Max's third assistant. Eric has a secretary outside his already and everything…just fucking great.

"Can I help you?" his secretary asks.

"I wish to see Eric please," I say with my arms folded across my chest.

"Do you have an appointment?"

Is she serious, "No, but I'm sure he's been expecting me." He had to figure I'd come eventually.

She gives me a hesitant look, "What's your name?"

"Lauren Dyer"

She picks up the phone, "Mr. Coulter I know you're busy sir but I have a woman named Lauren here…yes…sorry sir…I'll send her in." She looks pissed as she gets up and scans her thumbprint for access to enter the office.

I walk in and see Eric at his desk with papers that he seems to intently be reading.

"Have a seat," he says as if he expects this to be formal.

"No," I say.

This gets him to look up, "Sit down, that's a command."

"You've been a leader for two days. If you quit arguing with me to sit this won't take much of your time. Now were you using me to get me to sleep with you, yes or no? Answer and I'll leave. It's that simple Eric."

"I'm going to let this slide once this instant. You are to respect me and never address me like that again, understood Miss Dyer?"

What the fuck is this? It's like someone turned a switch on him and he's acting like we haven't known each other for our entire lives.

I stand my ground and raise my eyebrows at him. He can't avoid my question by asking me another question.

He gets up from his desk and comes right into my face. So he's going to try and intimidate me.

"Miss Dyer, do you understand? Or do I need to spell it out for you?"

I've followed rules. I've not let my stubbornness and sarcastic self show, but I can't help it now.

"Do you understand that you slept with me and then haven't said a thing since? If you cared as you say you did, or I'm sorry said you did, then you wouldn't act like this. So was I a toy, sir?"

Out of the corner of my eyes I see his fists clinch.

"I thought you were more Dauntless then this Lauren. Upset because a man won't text you back so you have to come into his office and demand answers." He laughs, "You are nothing to me Lauren Dyer, leave my office and learn to respect your leaders."

He used me. I deck him in the jaw and he wasn't expecting it. Before he can react I'm out the door and headed straight for the gym.

* * *

I grab gloves and start punching the shit out of the bag. I've got about an hour and half before I need to be at work.

I don't know how long it's been but the friction of my skin and the gloves make my hands feel blistered.

There's a hand on my shoulder and I expect it to be Eric so I go and swing, but it's Zeke.

"Whoa! Easy there! Four saw you on the cameras but couldn't get out to check on you so I'm here. What's wrong?"

I rip off my gloves, saying nothing to Zeke and grab my things and head for my apartment. He doesn't stop me.

* * *

Work is filled with me doing stitches on more skin cut open by beer bottles.

I'm only working for 4 hours since we put in too many hours already this week and I'm almost done with work.

No one talks to me. I'm glad I look as pissed as I feel. I need to get over it fast though so Eric can't get the satisfaction that he won.

Maybe I'll find some guy at The Pit and take him to bed. I lost my virginity now so there's nothing sacred about my body anymore. I'll find a guy who can make me feel better then what Eric did.

Lance stops my reign of thoughts, "Did you punch a Dauntless Leader in the jaw?"

I stopped. How could he know? Shit…Dauntless gossip and I bet Eric was fuming when I left and someone heard his reason why. I'm sure none of the secretaries would keep their mouth shut about this.

"Well did you?" Lance asks again, "Maybe" I answer and head into the locker area to get a drink of water.

Eric wouldn't get me in trouble…yes he would to prove his newfound authority. I hear Ellen yell my name into her office.

I walk down the hall and enter her office sitting down in the chair in front of her desk.

"Why did you punch Eric?"

"He's a pompous ass who deserved it," which was the truth.

"Lauren…by his authority he has sent me your penance for acting against a Dauntless Leader." She doesn't look like this is going to be good.

"I hope nothing major happens by your absence from here…" My absence? Did he place me somewhere else? "You're to serve one week guarding the fence instead of your time here, I'm so sorry I tried to talk to Max and he says he can't override Eric's authority at this time. You're to report every night for the next week, starting tonight from 12am to 6am. Meet at trucks by the bridge."

I just nod and stand up. It's already 8:30pm because of course we still stay longer. I decide to leave and see if I can get any sleep before heading to The Fence.

Amar took us on a field trip there during initiation, a scare tactic to show us that's where we could be working forever.

* * *

I show up in tactical gear as advised from the text Eric sent me on what I need. How Dauntless of him to go through Ellen to give me the news of punishment and then send my requirements himself.

Amar is heading the group with another man. When I go to leave he grabs my arm and drags me the other way.

"What are you doing?"

"Eric doesn't have enough balls to not be a dick to you right now, I can't explain but you won't be doing this. I will not let someone who ranked as high as you did because of Eric. Follow me." He is pissed that Eric is doing this and Amar is a Leader who has more authority but not as much as Max, so he is over riding Eric and Max?

We head to the fear landscape room and my apprehension is very apparent.

"Why are we here?"

"This is a safe room Lauren and what I'm about to tell you stays here, okay?"

"Yes"

He starts typing on the computer, "I noticed something in yours and another initiate's tests…I fixed them for the initiation process…don't mention that either. Anyway, I want to try your fear landscape again to see if I'm right, is that okay?"

"I guess so…" I don't want to do this again.

"I know it sucks, I promise you this will be the last time you do it."

I sit back in the chair and he injects the serum into my neck.

 _Here I go, back with spiders all over me._

 _I used to smash them, now I just close my eyes and think of what's next since I'm not being tested for rank. I do this for all of them until a new fear appears…_

 _Eric is towering above me. We are in my bed but we aren't naked, both of us our fully clothed._

 _"You're worthless to me. So glad I finally get the opportunity to kill you." He laughs sadistically._

 _"No!" I shout, "This isn't real!"_

I quickly get up and grab my knees to my chest as tears escape my eyes. Amar soothes me by running his fingers on my hand.

"Lauren, what I'm about to tell you, you can't share with anyone or it WILL get you killed." I nod.

"You're Divergent…" I've read about that in a book Erudite has about the study of people. They're…I'm dangerous? I can't conform to one thought process?

"I'm dangerous?" I ask him now aloud.

"No, they're just scared of us," Us? Is he one too?

"Yes Lauren, I'm one as well. Think like a Dauntless Lauren; keep yourself out of the spotlight. Like don't go around provoking Eric again!"

"I didn't think he'd go this far."

"He cares for you but he'll never let it show. Especially now that he's a Dauntless Leader. We aren't supposed to have many distractions in the first few years, including women. Max knows I have you. You're going to be doing assignments for me for the next week. Unfortunately I can't let you go back into the infirmary to work we have to keep this appearance up."

But Ellen couldn't get Max to over ride Eric's authority? What the hell is going on?

"What are you going to have me do?"

"There's a secret training room…I'll teach you how to fight better then what I did in initiation. I'm going to sharpen you're skills."

* * *

6:00am and I'm headed home to sleep. Amar went over everything about being a Divergent and what I need to do to keep myself out of their radar for suspicions.

We fight trained for a little and by then it was time to leave. I confined in Amar and told him everything about Eric. I've got nothing to loose now between him and I.

Four is standing outside my door pacing as I approach. He works in the area that can get the code to get into my apartment and didn't do it.

That's the difference between him and Eric.

"Ah you're okay!" he exclaimed as he saw me.

I just nod, too tired to speak I have to act like I've been at the fence. Amar has everything covered for me.

I type in my code and let Four enter with me.

"I'll make you food go get ready for bed," he tells me and I don't argue. It's been too long of a day to argue.

I walk to my bedroom and set my bag down then start ripping off all my gear and clothes. I don't think I can shower so I just put on a sports bra and sweat pants; hope Four will be okay with me in this, since he was Abnegation and all.

I crawl into bed just as he brings me a plate with an egg sandwich on it and a glass of water.

"Thank you," I say before eating the sandwich and drinking half of my water as Four watches the sunrise from my balcony. I'm glad I requested black out curtains; I'll definitely need them to sleep in this room.

Four comes and takes my plate to the kitchen and returns sitting on the end of my bed.

"Why'd you punch him? I know you're tired but I just want to know."

"Promise not to freak out?"

"Of course…"concern writes all over his face.

"Eric and I slept together. He made promises he couldn't keep and I confronted him in his office. He said I wasn't Dauntless being upset over the fact that he never texted me back or came to see me even…and said I meant nothing to him…so I kind of lost it and punched him…" I say looking down and fiddling with my sheets in my hand.

"Did he force himself on you?"

"No it was completely consensual."

"Then he deserved you punching him."

We both laugh and I lay down completely in bed. Four comes and pulls my sheets and comforter up on me more.

"Get some rest…I'll bring you food later so you don't have to face him."

I hear Four walk away and sleep takes me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Lauren's POV**

I almost make it through the week of my pretend fence punishment without seeing Eric.

Of course the bastard would come check on me.

I carried a knife with me this night because I've been waiting for him or one of his goons to grab me in the shadows. I didn't know what he would do next and I wanted to protect myself. If it was him that grabbed me, I was going to use it to scare him. If it was one of his goons…well there may be some blood shed.

I'm outside my apartment door when I hear shuffling inside. It's not Four cause he won't go in without me inviting him in. I even gave him my code and he still won't let himself in.

There's only one person who would let himself in. I grab my knife as I enter my code. I'm not playing games.

As suspected it's Eric with his back turned to me as he's reading through my stuff. He doesn't hear me as I shut the door quietly. So I throw my knife to hit not even an inch from his fingers on the counter. I really should've aimed for his head…the knife sticks perfectly into the wood counter. He freezes and draws his gun quickly and I stand there not moving.

"What the fuck Lauren!" He puts the gun into his hostler seeing that it's me as I go to my bedroom to set my shit down. He follows.

"I've had enough of your shit Eric. You just can't come in here and go through my stuff!" I say throwing off my tactical gear as he stands in my bedroom doorway.

I get to my t-shirt and know better then to completely change in front of him. So I walk to my bathroom locking the door behind me as he still stands watching me like I'm his prey.

I take my hair out of its tight ponytail and brush the brown strands. Next I wash my face and slip out of my shirt and pants. I toss a sport bra on and a long nightshirt.

Time to go face Eric again.

I walk out to go to my kitchen and he blocks me.

"You haven't been at the fence. You've been with Amar." He says in a cold tone and I try to push him out of my way but he just grabs my arms.

"Get your hands off of me." I try to push him off again.

"Why are you making everything difficult?" He holds me closer.

"Why do you keep showing up at my apartment?"

"I told you before I became leader that there are things that you will not know yet. Why can't you accept that?" He drags out the last part venomously.

"I think you're lying."

"Did you confront a Candor about that?" Smart ass.

I quit fighting and he does the most unexpected thing. He pulls me into a hug.

I don't want to hug him back but I do. I can't resist. He makes me vulnerable and he's using it against me…and I'm letting him.

We stand like that for awhile, just holding each other.

"I'm really tired…" I mutter against his chest.

"You can go back to working at the infirmary tomorrow afternoon. I'll arrange it and text you okay?" He says sweetly. I don't understand how he can go from one extreme to the next.

"Mhmm…" Why does he keep doing something bad and then turn around and try to make up for it?

He lets go of me and walks to my kitchen as I follow him.

I get a glass of water as he awkwardly stands not knowing whether to leave or stay.

It's not before I start to head back to my room that he stops me. He pulls me into a hug again and kisses my forehead before walking out the door.

I'm too tired to think of anything that happened. So I just head to bed and sleep takes me quickly.

* * *

I awake to Four coming in my bedroom. He's been bringing me lunch and waking me up for it, like he's been doing for the past couple days.

I put the blankets over my head and groan as he comes to sit next to me on the edge of the bed.

"Why is there a knife stabbed into your counter?" I laugh and take the blankets off my face.

"I threw it at Eric," I say seriously.

"He came in here again? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine it was strange. I just wanted to show him that I could threaten him in my home. I'm back to the infirmary tomorrow."

"So that means you should come to The Pit tonight with me and Zeke…"

"Where's Shauna?"

"She starts working nights this week."

"Are you going to get me drunk?"

"Maybe," we laugh, "come eat."

* * *

I haven't been to The Pit since that night Four and I left together.

I just wear tight black pants and a black crop top. I throw my hair up into a high ponytail and toss on some light makeup. I toss my boots on and make my way down to The Pit. I see Zeke and Four standing with their friend from surveillance who I think his name is Steven?

I make my way down the stairs and into the crowd grabbing a beer on my way over.

"Lauren!" Zeke shouts and pulls me into a hug and Four hugs me as well.

I get introduced to Steven and we all just talk and drink for a while. Steven became a member last year and said my ranking impressed him. He's totally flirting with me and I'm not stopping it. I can use this against Eric.

Four nudges my arm and I look at him, his eyes drift off to the stairs hinting to me that someone is there.

Eric is watching me in The Pit again. He's seen this all, and I'm pissing him off, I turn to Four.

"He's just making sure you don't try to get into my pants again…" I say quietly enough for only Four and I to hear. Or he's making sure nothing happens between me and Steven.

"I would try to get into your pants again, but I don't have a death wish." He says with a wink and we both laugh.

I know Four and I are good friends but there are times like this if I wonder if he's joking or not.

My eyes meet Eric's again as I sip my third bottle of beer. After I finish this I'm leaving since I have to be at the infirmary in the morning.

I tell Four I'm leaving since Zeke and Steven went somewhere and he tells me to be careful. Eric left a while ago from staring over the stairs so I should be safe.

On my way to my apartment I bump into Steven in the elevator.

"You escaped too?" he asks and I nod my head.

My somewhat drunken mind takes over and we both gravitate to each other at the same time. He pushes me up against the elevator wall and starts attacking my mouth as I go for his.

The elevator stops at floor E and he pulls me out with him, lacing his fingers into mine as we walk to his apartment.

He's attractive. He's tall, muscular with brown hair that's longer at the top with shaved sides and his green eyes are exquisite.

As soon as we enter his apartment we both start taking off each other's clothes.

We get to his bedroom and both of us are just in our underwear. He kisses down my neck and starts sucking at the top of my breasts and then we fall onto the bed. Both of us laying on our sides our hands explore each other's bodies as he leaves marks all over mine I start rubbing the bludge in his underwear. He moans into my neck and reaches behind to unclasp my bra. He pulls it off of me and starts kissing and sucking at my nipples. I pull his underwear off and he's big but not as big as Eric.

* * *

In the morning I do the walk of shame to my apartment. I step on the elevator and Four is on it as well I just smile and hope he doesn't say anything to me, but of course he does.

"You hooked up with Steven didn't you?" and I lightly smack him and he laughs as we reach our floor.

"I'd hide those marks on your neck if I was you," he says and I ignore it.

I reach my door, "See you at lunch Four," and he just says yeah with a smirk as he walks down the hall to his apartment.

I shower and get ready for what will probably be another long day at the infirmary. I also get rid of the marks with my hairbrush. That somehow seems to work every time for me.

* * *

Lance greets me first, then Ellen. It's the three of us here until after lunch.

I attend to a man who got his appendix out last night…I always miss the good stuff.

I write his discharge papers just as Max and Eric come through the doors. Ellen goes to them since I guess she knew they were coming. She's usually in her office unless she's needed. I keep my head down as I sign the papers.

Ellen takes them to her office and I give Lance a questioning look, which he just returns back. Two Dauntless Leaders just came in here and he has no idea why either?

Of course a girl brings in her boyfriend because he needs stitches cause he cut his hand on glass during a fight last night.

Lance questions her while I approach him. He still reeks of alcohol; I even bet he's still drunk.

"I'm going to unwrap your hand and look at the damage first before cleaning it up, alright sir?" I say to him in my nicest voice.

"It's fine, but go ahead."

I unwrap his bloody hand to see glass all in the cut, "Lance I need tweezers, antiseptic, and steri-strips."

He nods and goes to get them meanwhile this jerk says to me, "Aren't you going to numb it before you pull the glass out?"

I want to laugh; "You probably still have alcohol in your system…so you'll be fine."

He glares at me and Lance hands me what I need as I begin cleaning out the wound. The girlfriend left apparently pissed at her boyfriend.

"OW! Bitch! What the fuck, have you never done this before?" He pushes my arm causing the tweezers to stab deep into his skin. He yells at me again and Lance steps in trying to hold him down by the shoulders.

He head-butts Lance and comes at me with a knife he's somehow retrieved from his pocket.

"You need to calm down," I warn not telling him that there are two Dauntless Leaders down the small hallway from here. Lance gets up to run to Ellen's office, backup will probably be needed.

"Shut the fuck up!" He comes at me and I duck and punch him in the stomach. His knife drops and I kick it across the room as he tries to pin me. I kick behind his kneecaps and he's on the floor with me overtop of him. I try to pin him but he's too strong. He punches at my throat and I cough, loosing focus as he now flips us over and is on top pinning me. He punches me in the face as I try to shove the tweezers at his wound to make him stop.

I go to knee him in the crotch and he puts his hands around my neck choking me and I can't get them off. I can't breathe. I can't think.

Next thing I know, Eric is pulling him off of me and Max is at my side as Ellen tranquilizes the patient. I'm coughing and I roll to my side.

"Are you okay?" Max asks me as he puts his hand on my shoulder to comfort me.

Between coughs I manage to say yeah and he helps me to my feet and steadies me since I'm a little light headed from loosing air. Lance hands me water and I gladly accept.

Eric gets back from putting the guy on a bed and looks at me trying not to let it show too much that he's concerned, but I see it in his eyes.

"You okay Lauren?" He asks.

"Yeah"

Ellen comes over to examine me and both leaders stay to make sure I'm okay.

"I should've warned you about him, he's beat up about everyone in this infirmary," she says, "You're good…go take a break for awhile and go to lunch I'll call you if there's anything important."

I nod and grab my phone. Max and Eric leave in front of me but as I go down the one hall Eric is there waiting for me.

I stop in front of him.

"It took everything in me not to kill that guy for choking you."

"I could've handled it."

"Not if I didn't pull him off of you, you were losing oxygen."

"Well, I'm fine now…so thanks for the concern…" I start to walk away.

"Lauren?" he calls.

"Hm?"

I'm ready for him to confront me about sleeping with Steven, since Eric doesn't like sharing what he puts claim to, even though I'm not his.

"Are you busy after your shift?"

"Maybe"

"Lauren."

"Text me," I say and walk away, relieved that's all he wanted to say. Let's see if he actually follows through.

I decide to go onto the balcony and just think then it will be time for lunch. My head hurts and so does my throat but it could've been worst if I didn't get the knife away from him.

* * *

I head to lunch and already know there are bruises all over me. I'm about to get a million questions from Zeke, Four, and Shauna.

I sit down and start piling food onto my plate.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Shauna asks; ah there was the moment I was waiting for.

"A patient decided I was his punching bag…I'm fine."

Four sits down with Zeke.

"Lauren? What happened to your…" Shauna cuts Zeke off before he can finish his sentence, "A patient attacked her."

"I'm fine boys thanks for the concern!" I say as I bite into my chicken sandwich.

Eric and Amar sit at the end of our table with 3 people in between us.

"How's your vagina, I bet that's sore too?" Zeke says and the three of us choke on our food. I think I hear Amar and Eric do the same.

Four starts laughing and Shauna looks confused. I can't bear to uncover my face with the napkin I'm holding over it.

"Who did you sleep with?!" Shauna demands.

"Shut up all of you!" I say and Four and Zeke are almost crying from laughter.

Amar tries to talk with Eric but he's not answering just staring at the end of my table in disbelief.

Shauna kicks me under the table, "Ow! Fine!" I say more quietly, "Steven…"

"He's so hot oh my god I'm jealous!" Shauna says and Zeke's jaw drops as he looks at her.

Four and I are laughing and I hear Amar laugh as well. The people next to us are oblivious to this conversation. Eric, who's obviously heard enough, gets up and dumps his tray…loudly.

Amar comes and joins us; he's a friend to all of us really.

"Is he bragging or something?" I ask Four.

"He may have slightly hinted at it…multiple times…or a lot." I punch him in the arm as he laughs and so does Amar.

"I'm having a bad day and you guys all suck!" I say and join in the laughter.

* * *

Part of me wonders where Eric is going to pop out next as I walk the halls back to work. He made me paranoid and I bet that was his intention.

I got down to the last hour of work and he texted me:

Meet me at the balcony at 9:30pm.

Is he going to throw me off of it?

* * *

It's 9:15pm and I'm debating if I should go play with the devil or not.

I toss on black jeans and a black V-neck shirt and my boots and decide to go see what this is about.

* * *

He's sitting on the wall and smiles when he sees that I came.

I walk to him but don't go near the edge.

"I'm not going to throw you off," ah he does have some Erudite left to see my apprehension.

"How can I be so sure?"

He gets up and comes in front of me, "I want to show you something." He reaches out his hand for me to take it I don't and finally he just grabs it dragging me along at first until I comply.

We walk to the opposite side of the roof hand in hand.

He knows I slept with Steven so why is he being so calm?

He nods to me to look over the edge and Jeannie Matthews is there at a dock talking to Max and some other Dauntless about something. I give Eric a confused look and he just nods at me to keep watching.

Jeannie starts yelling, "I said that I need a room to complete this experiment! I have already placed one of my former own at the top of your pyramid to insure this task is completed! This is unacceptable Max and I will speak with you tomorrow!"

Eric motions for me to follow him and I do. We end up at his apartment. He walks in and motions for me to sit on the couch and I hesitantly do.

I can't keep the words back anymore, "Why did Jeannie make you a Dauntless Leader? Did she have Harrison killed too?"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Lauren's POV**_

He pours himself a glass of whiskey before answering and downs it. He runs his hands from his forehead to the back of his neck before breathing heavily out his mouth. This isn't the ruthless Eric before me.

He walks towards me and the couch but just stands with his back to me, "Lauren, I…I've been asked to do things that are immoral. Yes, Jeannie helped with me becoming a leader so quickly. I was supposed to rank first and she's pissed at me for ranking second. She's up to something but letting me in on it when the time comes. Max knows but I can't get it out of him. We all know how terrifying Jeannie can be…I will kill her if she does anything too bad."

I look up at him as he turns to face me and I can tell that he is conflicted. He just opened up to me, which had to take a lot from him…liquid courage even.

I don't know what to say though so I just give a kind of half smile and fiddle with my hands in my lap.

Then he strikes.

He picks me up and is carrying me to his bedroom.

He tosses me not so lightly on the bed before he hovers over me.

"Another thing…your body…belongs…to…me" he growls out in between attacking my exposed neck kissing and nipping at it.

I should've known this was a trap. He is always the hunter and I am always the prey.

His hands move up and down my body. He reaches behind my back to lift me up enough while still attacking my neck, he moves away for a second to remove my shirt.

 _Stop this, Lauren._ I think, but the masochist in me wants to compare him to Steven.

He kisses down my stomach as I run my hands through his hair. I can't stop when he makes me feel this good.

He comes up and his lips meet mine. He's intoxicating and I lose myself in the kiss.

My phone starts ringing in my back pocket and Eric growls, but I have to get it and he knows that. So he pulls away and let's me sit up as I see who it is, Ellen.

"Hello?"

"Lauren I need you at the infirmary now. There's been a situation and I need someone to watch it while I assess it. How long will it take you to get here?" She sounds upset.

"Five minutes…" I say and I look at Eric who's pissed. I hang up and use his famous words, duty calls as I grab my shirt.

His phone goes off too, but I leave the apartment before finding out what it's about.

* * *

I reach the infirmary and Four is with Ellen. He's upset. What happened?

"Thank you Lauren, I'll be back don't let anyone in here at all! Lock the front door! " And she rushes out.

"Four, what happened?" I ask him softly. I've never seen him this upset.

"Amar."

"What about Amar?" What the hell?

"The found his body in the chasm…someone said he jumped…but I know better."

"Oh my god…what do you mean you know better?" This makes two Dauntless Leaders, dead within weeks.

"Eric killed him, Lauren."

I stare at Four unable to respond…I was with Eric, but that doesn't mean he could've had someone else do it and use me as his alibi.

Four and Amar were even more close then the rest of us.

I lock the front door to the infirmary and sit at the desk. Four just stands there he's completely broken over this.

I can't tell him I was just with Eric. That will involve another fistfight between the two of them.

"Four, go home and rest…I'll be there soon."

"No…"

Just then Ellen slides her key card access that let's her in with a gurney with a body bag and Eric, Lance, and Max following.

Four lunges at Eric and both of them are punching each other as Max and Lance try to intervene, but it's no use. They're yelling and everything.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" Four shouts.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Eric doesn't deny it.

Max and Lance just leave them be. Max goes to deal with Amar's body as Lance and I are left to deal with the two idiots before us.

Eric backs away from Four and I intervene in between them as Eric goes to punch and I stop him by grabbing his fist and pulling his arm so that my back is against him as I elbow him in the throat causing him to choke. Lance grabs ahold of Four and drags him to the other side of the room.

"Let go of me Lauren!" Eric says as I have his arm now twisted that if he moves I'll dislocate his shoulder. I'm impressed I was able to get him in this position.

"Did you kill Amar?"

"No! I was with you!" and Four tries to break free from Lance at this confession.

I move his arm more, "You needed an alibi and I was the solution."

"Believe number boy, I don't give a fuck! Let me go!"

I let him go and he storms out of the infirmary doors. I don't know what to think right now. My emotions are outweighing everything.

* * *

Max leads Amar's funeral and Eric is nowhere to be seen.

I stand with Four, Lance, Shauna, and Zeke. We got Four to calm down but he still thinks it was Eric who killed Amar…and the rest of us kind of feel the same.

Four said that Eric had threatened Amar because he knew Amar's "secret." He has no clue what that would be. I'm not Candor, but I think he's lying.

* * *

After the funeral we all head back to Four's concerned for him. He doesn't want us there but we don't care.

My phone gets a text:

Eric: _Please come to my apartment_

So that's where he is hiding. I slide the phone back into my pocket.

Every time he let's me in he does something to fuck it up and we're back at the starting point.

We stay at Four's until late and decide to all go home and sleep.

I type my code in and go to my kitchen before bed to get a shot of whiskey.

I walk to my room and start undressing. Until I hear someone clear his throat.

"ERIC! I swear if you don't stop doing this I'm going to Max."

He gets up and comes inches from my face.

"I need you to know that I didn't do it. Amar was my friend and I wouldn't kill him."

He somehow is holding my hands in his as he says this.

"You threatened him." I hiss at him.

"I did, but I didn't mean for it to end this way."

I shake my head, he's just trying to get his way and finish what we started.

"Please leave…"

"Lauren…" he puts his hands on top both my shoulders.

I push them off, "No."

He looks at me knowing his defeat with this argument. His eyes are almost pleading as if he just wants someone to believe him. I can't with all that Four and Zeke said they saw in the surveillance room on the cameras.

* * *

I'm shaking.

Max asks me again, "Are you sure that Eric seemed like he honestly had no part in Amar's death?"

"I don't know Max. He seemed…like…he didn't do it. You shouldn't be asking me."

I'm pacing back and forth in Max's office. Max sees my distress.

"Miss Dyer sit." He says in a pissed off voice.

I sit in the chair in front of his desk.

"I don't like to pry but are you involved with Eric?"

"I don't want to be but he keeps showing up at my place. I've threatened him and he doesn't care. He lets himself in. He's just there."

"He's overstepping his power. Listen to me." He's pleading with me now his tone has completely changed.

I look up I'm on the verge of crying but I won't do that. Not in front of Max.

"Eric is one of the most ruthless members I've ever seen. He's good at his job though. I'm taking the video of him threatening Amar very seriously. You know him better then all of us, Lauren. Do you think he would've had someone do it?"

I run my hand through my hair. "I want to believe him that he didn't do it. He said he didn't and they were friends…but seeing the video. I don't know what to believe sir."

He sighs, "There's no concrete proof. He will be disciplined. I want you to take the day off. Ellen already said it was fine since you helped her last night. Can you do me a favor?"

I nod. He hands me a folder with papers.

"These are from Jeannie. Would you look them over and type a summary up for me? I feel a former Erudite will be able to better understand this and assist me. Will this be a problem?"

"No sir, I can do it."

He smiles, "Good. Pick up a laptop from technology. I already put the approval in for your own to have. You're dismissed Lauren."

"Thank you sir"

* * *

I've locked myself completely in my apartment. I've already decoded and typed reports of Jeannie's papers and sent them off to Max.

I've taken two days off and Ellen thankfully has understood.

I've gone through two bottles of whiskey. I don't think day drunk looks good on me, but I don't care.

If Eric is going to be this ruthless person and kill whomever to get his way, to be in control…then I don't want to be apart of it.

I care for Eric. Eric cares for me.

This is me not pulling myself down with him and his twisted ways. I don't want to be accused of being a murder too.

I need something. I need to feel something then grieving for Amar or worrying about Four and even Eric.

I pull myself out of bed to go to the tattoo parlor.

It's empty but Tori smiles when she sees me.

I explain what I want and I'm more then happy when I leave, and slightly sore.

Thank god Erudite created a serum for this all to heal fast.

* * *

I head next to the hair salon happy as well when I leave there.

I have a tight tank top on as I enter the food hall.

The stares I get are priceless as I head to sit with Zeke and Four for dinner.

I sit down and act normal by grabbing food from the trays in front of me to put on my plate.

"Lauren…"

I smile and look up at Zeke, "Yes, Zeke?"

"What have you done to yourself?"

Shauna slides next to him and stares, "Holy shit Lauren you look amazing."

"You know that you got Eric in…"

I interrupt Four, "Don't mention his name to me Four. I don't want to hear anything to do with him." He just nods.

"So new sleeve, new hair, are we missing anything else?" Zeke asks.

I look at my new arm sleeve opposite my other. I run my hand through my now shoulder length hair complete with short bangs.

"Hmmm…yes but I don't think you want to know…" and I laugh.

"You didn't!" Shauna yells, she knows I had been wanting to.

"I did!" I yell back and we both laugh as the boys gaze at us.

They don't need to know that I got my nipples pierced.

* * *

I avoid Eric until a week after Amar's death.

Max has me helping him and I'm headed to his office once again when Eric steps out.

He looks me up and down shocked almost, at my new appearance that I've gotten used to.

I roll my eyes and push past him to enter Max's office.

I don't need Eric. I need my career here in Dauntless.

This is my revival.

* * *

 _Review please! 3 reviews until the next chapter is posted. Hope you're all enjoying ;)_


	9. Chapter 9

_**-4 Months Later-**_

 _Lauren's POV:_

"Get him to bed nine and him to bed eleven!" I'm running around like a crazy person in the infirmary.

A man is screaming and another is completely out as well as I try to pull bullet wounds from them. Eric's patrol on factionless sector 7 went out of control.

As if on cue Eric walks in himself. He looks bloody and dirty. Why they let a young Dauntless Leader lead a patrol is beneath me, but I suppose it served a purpose.

I've avoided Eric almost effortlessly except for a few times around Max's office.

We got used to acting like strangers.

Max told me that he confronted him and if Eric let himself into my place again he would press charges against him.

I've been seeing Steven now, if that's what you want to call having sex multiple times a week.

Four and I start training soon for the initiates even though it's only been 5 months since we were ones ourselves. They want to make sure we are ready to train future soldiers.

I'm scheduled for a patrol two weeks from now and hope something more important comes up where I won't have to go.

They're making almost everyone eligible in the faction go. There's been many ambushes with many coming back injured.

Eric walks over to where I'm standing with a tablet in hand making sure everyone in here has the right medicines at the moment.

It's Lance and Kate with extra Erudite aids that Max had Jeannie willing give over to help since there's been so many ambushes.

Ellen's left me in charge yet once again. She thinks I can handle this better then her at times. After all the years she's put in, she deserves to have time off.

"Miss Dyer, who's in charge tonight? I don't see Ellen around." Way to state the obvious.

"That would be me sir." I say as politely as possible.

"I'll need a status report on my men as soon as possible."

I tap a few things on my tablet and set the reports to be sent to Eric as soon as they are updated.

"You'll get the reports as they're updated. I just confirmed it." I look at him now and wished that I didn't. There's a huge gash on his hand. "You need that gash cleaned up. Any other injuries Mr. Coulter?"

He looks at me. Of course he's going to deny any injury and say he can handle it.

"It's fine. I'll look at the reports as soon as I get up to my office." As he goes to turn away I harshly grab that same arm with the gash in his hand. He hisses in pain.

"I can't let a Dauntless Leader walk out of here without accessing your injuries. Mr. Coulter please walk over to the bed right there and I'll be there in a second to check you over."

He looks at me and goes to argue but walks over to the bed. I walk over to grab what supplies I think I'll need for Eric, and Lance is there grabbing what he needs.

"You want me to check over Eric?" He asks me concerned.

"No, I'll have to face the pompous ass eventually." We both laugh and I go back to Eric with my supplies.

He looks as pissed as ever and his gash is now bleeding more.

I don't speak to him. I put gauze on his hand for now to remove some of the blood when I notice there's gravel in it. So I begin to clean it out, knowing better that he doesn't want anything to ease the pain.

I turn his arm a little and notice that he's holding back another hiss.

"Take your jacket off," I command. Something's wrong with his arm and he's trying to prove otherwise.

"Why?"

"Because I said so"

"You fixed my hand so I'm fine"

"Take off your jacket, Eric" I use a deadly tone.

"I'm a leader I don't have to take your orders."

"If you read the handbook of your duties. You'll notice that in this infirmary the person in charge has authority over any patient no matter their status. Therefore your whole 'I'm the Dauntless Leader' shit means nothing to me here. I have the authority so take off your fucking jacket before I do it for you."

I swear I hear Lance and Kate snicker. Eric looks surprised out my outburst. If he can play the authority card so can I. He pauses a moment before taking off his jacket, well trying to. He can't move his shoulder on the left side where his hand is injured.

He looks at me as I wear a smug look on my face. I have successfully humiliated Eric Coulter. Everyone who is conscious has been watching this. He needs help, my help and that is how I have successfully humiliated him.

I move and start to gently remove his jacket when he winces. Fuck it, I grab scissors and cut to get his arm out of there. Underneath is a mess. His black jacket covered the amount of blood that was there. I realized he must've put his jacket on after the damage before coming in here.

First of all his collarbone is sprained as well as his wrist. Both are puffy and bruised. This puts him on desk duty for at least 3 weeks, which is exactly why he tried to cover up the extent of his injuries.

I get him completely patched up and send his injury report to Max.

"Here's your discharge paper Coulter. Come back in two weeks for me to check that everything is healing properly. Anything else you know where to find me." I set the paper next to him and leave.

* * *

It's nearly 3:30am when I finally get everyone settled at the infirmary to go home and sleep before I have to be back there at 8am.

I get off on my floor and Eric is leaning outside my door.

It's surprising that he actually has self control enough to not let himself in this time.

"Mr. Coulter, is there a problem?"

"Lauren, can we talk?"

"I have to be up for a shift at 8am so no."

I go to type in my code on the door and he blocks me.

"Lauren, please." He looks at me pleadingly but I can't let him get to me.

"If you don't step out of my way I'll injure your arm more."

"Eric step away from her!" Four yells from down the hallway. Where the hell did he come from? Eric being the arrogant asshole that he is at times takes this as a challenge as Four approaches us.

"Now, now Four is that how you talk to a leader?" Eric smirks at him knowing that Four can't do anything.

"I'm surprised that a leader would disrespect a woman who clearly doesn't want to talk to you."

I expect Eric to throw a punch or kick at Four, instead he moves away from the door and motioning that I can now go in. Though the look he gives Four tells me I shouldn't leave them alone out here no matter how tired I am.

They stand there staring at each other, challenging to see who will react first. Four walks away headed back to his apartment and slamming the door shut. Eric mumbles ' _coward'_ under his breath and I give him a death glare as I still hold myself up against the door.

"When is your shift done tomorrow?" Eric asks without even looking at me.

"3PM"

"I'll see you then."

* * *

My shift goes quickly with the amount of work I had to do and Ellen is back attending to anyone who got injured last night.

Steven shows up at the end of my shift, which makes me worried, because I don't think Eric knows about us and Eric just said he'd see me after my shift, great.

"Hey babe," Steven says as he kisses my forehead.

I'm finishing a report so I don't respond right away, and I look up smile and kiss him back and when I pull away I see Eric out of the corner of my eye staring at Steven and I.

I need to act normally, "I'm almost done with this report."

"It's okay I know you had a busy night. Thank goodness Ellen's letting you have an easy week now."

I just nod and Lance comes over from Ellen's office now that Eric went that way.

"I just got dismissed by the pompous ass, hi Steven!" he says casually and I roll my eyes.

"Anyway," Lance continues, "Eric is yelling at Ellen for leaving you in charge last night and he demands that his injured status is removed."

"Well that's not going to happen because he'll totally reinjure his arm by tearing the ligament or worst reopen that gash that took me forever to clean out the first time." I say annoyed.

And Eric and Ellen come out yelling at each other.

"Is this normal?" Steven asks to us.

Lance laughs and then answers, "Yeah, Ellen and Max are the same age and I heard we're even involved once. Eric can't do anything to her without her going to Max and Eric getting thrown over the chasm."

"She is not qualified to run this infirmary when you are not in attendance!" Eric yells.

"And you haven't even been Dauntless a year and you're a leader. You're authority doesn't mean shit to me boy, so get the hell out of my infirmary before I call for Max to come drag your ass out of here!"

* * *

Steven and I sit down with Four and Zeke in the dining hall. I lean my head on Steven's shoulder as I just pick at my food I'm not really hungry.

Everyone in our friend group has been accepting of Steven and I. We never made it official but we act like it, I guess. Four raises his eyes at me and I just shrug.

"Tired?" he asks.

"Yeah I've worked 60 hours these past 3 days…"

"Ellen better give you time off before the patrol." Zeke says and I kick him under the table. I didn't tell Steven or Four that I was chosen to go, because I know that they'll both detest to it.

"You didn't tell them! Shit!" Zeke says now grabbing at his leg.

"Babe why the fuck would you go on that?" Steven says loudly.

"I don't have a choice…"

"You do" Four adds.

"Because I was top of the class they're sending me out knowing that I can protect myself. I'll be fine."

"What day?" Steven asks.

"Thursday."

"Fuck…I'm on that one too." I stare at him. He didn't tell me either.

Quiet fills around us.

I end the quiet, "We'll be fine." I get up and dump my tray of food no one stops me as I head to the balcony.

I needed the air and I needed to be alone.

"You're dating him," I jump hearing Eric's words and grab for my knife in my pants pocket. I know I was here alone and I didn't hear him come up here.

He steps back realizing that I grabbed for my knife, "Hey I didn't mean to scare you." He puts his hands up defensively in front of his chest. Then he moves quickly toppling us to the ground with him pinning me down.

"You're dating Steven." He says in an icy tone.

"Get off of me Eric."

"I thought I told you that you're body belonged to me."

"You don't own me. I'm not yours." If I give in and talk to him maybe he'll leave me alone, again.

"Ah but one day you will be. You just wait."

"Apparently being former Erudite and now Dauntless you don't know how to properly charm women." I retort and he gets that angry look on his face, which makes me laugh.

He presses his weight into me more and bites into my neck and I let out a moan before coming to reality that I'm with Steven. The only way to get out of this is to fight Eric off of me, but once again I don't want him to stop.

His mouth reaches mine and I fight my lips with his. Not caring about anything else. He's so intoxicating, much more then Steven. We are sitting now as I pull away and decide to walk away as well.

* * *

The patrol has come faster then what I wanted it to. No one knows about Eric and I's little make out session on the roof.

I need to focus though as Steven and I get out of the truck with everyone else including Four who somehow got himself on this patrol…to probably watch me.

It's quiet as we walk the streets…unusually quiet. Then the first shot is let out.

I run for cover with Four loosing Steven in the process.

I hear a child crying and before I know what I'm doing, I'm going to the little girl.

She looks about seven or eight.

She does the thing I've never expected a child to do and pulls a gun at me.

Before I can react I feel pain and there's blood pouring from my chest.

I get dizzy and then everything goes dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Eric's POV**

I keep toying with Lauren in hopes that she'll come and be with me. I keep fucking it up though. I don't know how to feel or have emotions for her. I've always learned that they're a weakness and I can't show that here. Not in my position.

She's on a patrol tonight in one of the safer sectors of the Factionless district. I put her there. She would have to go on one eventually since she was top of the class. They need the best of the best out there. I unknowingly put Steven too and then of course the Stiff followed.

They'll all come back safe…even though I wish someone would take out the Stiff.

I'm filling out papers and not paying attention to the screen when the Code White alarm on my phone goes off. Code White means that someone has been shot in the chest. What the fuck? This is the safest sector. I quickly pull up the video to make it full screen when I see it.

There's a child with a gun that a Dauntless I don't know is shooting. There's someone down with three people surrounding the person. I can make out Four and my friend James…who's down?

Then I see her.

There's blood around her.

She's lying in blood.

She's been shot.

She's the Code White.

A Factionless child has shot Lauren in the chest.

"Eric!" Max shouts as he comes in my office realizing that I'm frozen because it's her, he saw the whole thing. Our phones keep going off.

Two Code Whites and 4 Code Reds. 4 people are dead.

"What the fuck happened Max!" I scream. This was the safest sector.

"It doesn't matter! We have people down!"

"LAUREN IS SHOT MAX!" Rage takes over me and I let my emotions get to me.

"Eric sit down. You can't leave here I will lock you in this room! Ellen won't want you near the infirmary."

"She won't make it here! They need to take her to Erudite!" I try to get out the door but Max has his guards and they won't let me go. I'm injected with something and I lose consciousness.

* * *

When I wake I'm on my couch in my office. It's daylight. There are no guards so I storm out of the office and down to the infirmary. Of fucking course Max knew to knock me out or I would get in the way of everything.

I see Ellen first as if she was waiting for me.

"Where is she?" I demand.

"Not here" and my stomach drops.

"She's at Erudite," Ellen pauses and looks down, "they almost lost her on the way there. She's in bad shape but currently stable. Max is there now and said that you can request to go see her and he will make arrangements."

* * *

I'm not allowed there till the evening. So I head to get breakfast and see Four and Zeke look shaken up so I sit with them.

"What happened Four?" I ask him.

"I don't need your shit today Eric." He snaps.

"Wow the Abnegation cusses."

Zeke steps in, "Don't Eric…where the hell have you been anyway?"

"They kept me out of the loop…so what did I miss?"

"You're a Dauntless Leader." Four says sarcastically.

"Tell me."

"Steven is dead." Zeke says.

"Bullet just missed Lauren's heart but hit an artery…she will hopefully pull through." Four adds.

"Have you been to see her?"

Four clears his throat as if he's about to cry…as much as I'd like to see him to hold it against him forever, I don't call him out on it. "I went to Erudite with her…they told me I couldn't stay after Max got there…it was bad Eric."

I just nod and get up and take my coffee with me to my apartment.

* * *

I didn't want to come back to Erudite like this. The white walls that used to comfort me now are sullen.

I walk into her room and she looks terrible. She's asleep and her status has been upgraded but they told me I could come in.

I hold her pale hand for a little bit, but not long enough incase there's cameras in here. Jeannie doesn't need to see that Lauren's a weakness to me.

Lauren's brown hair lies all over the pillow and her bangs are a mess. Her tattooed arms stand out more on her skin with the blood loss she experienced. In this moment I realize that I care for the woman before me in the hospital bed and caring is dangerous in my position.

I need to start acting like I do care instead of pushing her around. Being demanding with Lauren isn't going to work. I don't even know if an 'us' will work now with everything that is happening.

She doesn't know Steven's dead though.

I could use that to my advantage and take care of her, but I should be a better man then that, but I can't be.

This is all I know.

I've been in here for about maybe 5 minutes and that has to be enough.

I get up without looking at her and walk out to the waiting room where an Erudite guard is waiting to take me to Max.

Jeannie and Max are standing in the room and turn to me as we enter.

"Ah Eric. I see a problem has arose." That didn't take her long.

I just look at her and Max looks away. That bitch has made it so that he has no say in whatever she's about to continue on about.

"Lauren Dyer and you can not have any romantic involvement. Is that clear?"

I knew this would happen with how I've been letting my guard down.

"Yes Miss Matthews, I understand." And it sounds like the Erudite boy in me is answering instead of the Dauntless man.

Jeannie knows how she can get to my weaknesses.

"She's distracting you and I won't have it. We have two initiate classes to get through before our plans can unfold and I'll need you readily prepared. Leave this office now. You're dismissed."

* * *

 **Lauren's POV**

I awake but don't open my eyes. It's the moment you refuse to be awake but then my other senses kick in. When did I go to bed last night? Wasn't I on patrol? What's this beeping?

Then it hit me. I got shot during the patrol.

I open my eyes and immediately know where I am. Erudite. My injuries must've been too bad for Dauntless.

A nurse walks in. "Oh hello, here's some water. I'll go get your father to check on you."

Of course one my parents would be my doctor. I know I'll get the best care but there are things I don't want them knowing about like my piercings or tattoos which I'm sure they've already seen when I was operated on.

If I had a GSW to the chest proper care would be to check my airways and make sure that my lungs were fine, also to check my spine for an injury. They'd check my heart and large blood vessel as well. The bullet would be removed since our technology could easily take it out without any repercussions. After the area is cleaning and everything is fine they should've sown me back up and given me pain meds and antibiotics.

Interrupting my very Erudite thoughts, my father enters the room and heads straight to the machine plugged to me not saying anything.

He types something in on his tablet and then comes in front of me and pulls down my shirt enough to see bandage. Satisfied he marks something on his tablet and exits the room.

He never spoke a word to me. Which means he's probably disowned me since I chose Dauntless. Now I'm just another patient. When it's faction before blood, I know that I can't take it personally even though it does hurt a little.

The nurse comes back in now and I hope she'll explain more.

"Lauren, you suffered a GSW to the chest and had lots of blood loss. You will make a full recovery but need to rest. We are releasing you to Dauntless care in the next hour after you receive your dose of healing serum and they will be able to administer more there." She pauses and looks at her chart. "Inactive work status has been posted for the next month and after a physical you may return to your Dauntless duties. Are you experiencing any pain at the moment or have any questions for me?"

I shake my head no and she leaves.

* * *

Four and Zeke carry me up to my apartment. Ellen said its best for me to rest there and that she'll have Lance and Kate come check on me.

I find it odd that Steven isn't here, but I figured he must be injured.

Four sets me onto my bed which Shauna and Kate have gotten tons of pillows to prop me up. The painkillers I was provided with at Erudite are wearing off and I can feel my chest getting sore.

I couldn't be more grateful for my friends as they all crowd around me. There was one question I had to ask.

"Where's Steven?"

Shauna leaves the room the second the sentence is out of my mouth, and Kate and Lance just stared. Four came to sit next to me and take my hand. It all happened so fast and I couldn't prepare myself for what was about to come out of Four's mouth.

"Lauren, he was killed in the ambush."

As soon as he said it I felt paralyzed. Steven was dead. I had probably missed the funeral considering it's two days later. I didn't get to say goodbye. Did he die protecting me?

I choke it out, "How?"

Zeke comes to me now, "He saw the girl point the gun at you and tried to run through the gun fire in front to save you. Four couldn't move fast enough because of the open spot between you and the girl. There was a shooter on the roof who saw Steven running towards you and Four tried to take him out to protect Steven. By time Four realized that the girl had pulled a gun on you it was too late for you and Steven."

I nod.

* * *

My friends filter in and out. My chest is still sore. My eyes are puffy from the nights I spend crying over Steven. It's stupid but he cared about me.

Then I think about Eric and how he hasn't made once ounce of effort to check on me.

It's been a week since I've been shot and I'm allowed to go sit in the infirmary to watch how Ellen takes scans of the body to determine internal damage. I'll be sitting the whole time.

I walk myself down and do surprisingly well expect the small ounce of pain in my chest. I sit in my little office that I share with Lance and wait for him and Ellen to get done removing a bullet wound. They thought it would be too traumatic for me to assist with yet.

I hear someone go down the hallway and see them go into Ellen's office across from mine.

Eric.

He turns out seeing that Ellen isn't there and catches me looking at him. I stare as he comes into my office and shuts the door.

"I put you on that patrol sector because it was supposed to be the safest." He blurts out like he's on truth serum and can't stop himself.

"It doesn't matter. What happened is done."

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better Eric. Were you looking for Ellen?"

"Yeah I was"

"They're removing a bullet wound so they might have taken the patient in the more sterile room. Could I help you?"

He's thinking if he should accept my offer by the way he bites into his bottom lip. "She was giving me a book to borrow..."

I laugh because the Erudite in Eric still exists. I get up slowly and make my way over to Ellen's office as Eric watches me as if I'm about to break.

There's only one book in here that I know he would want so I open Ellen's bottom desk drawer and pull it out but quickly realize it's too heavy to lift with my chest being sore and wince. Eric comes over and takes the book and puts it on the desk. His arm wraps around my back and he looks at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah just more activity then what I should be doing," I point to the book that's now on top of the desk, "it's this one right?"

"Yeah it is." He grabs the book and leaves.

* * *

"And this is the scan of a man who got shot in the ass…boy let me tell you we had fun trying to sedate him and get his friends out of the room to remove the bullet!" Lance says laughing and Ellen shakes her head.

"So always tranquilize any terrible patient?" I ask.

"Well…I never said this…but yes…" Ellen says and we all laugh.

"I hate delivering spawns. Please teach her how to do that too Ellen!" Lance says dramatically and Kate and I lose it.

"Such a man you are…" Ellen starts to say, "but we all know what you really prefer." And we laugh as Ellen punches Lance with his disgusted face.

Like clock work Four shows up to go to dinner at the dining hall with me. I'm surprised that he keeps up with my slow pace. I now see why older Dauntless leave or kill themselves. This terrain is quite the workout. I'll need to get myself back into shape as soon as I get cleared to do so.

When we walk to the dining hall I expect it to erupt or something since I haven't been in here since after the patrol.

I get stares instead but I just confidently walk to the table where Zeke greets us both as I sit down.

"Look who made it back to this table," Zeke smiles at me as Shauna joins us.

I pick from the food in front of me. I'm actually glad to be eating it here and not when it's been reheated for me at my apartment.

"So what are you doing since you're inactive?" Shauna asks.

I take a sip of my water before answering her, "I've actually been sitting in the infirmary watching what goes on for the past two days. I might be able to get my status back to active after they shoot me up with some more healing serum."

"Does that shit actually work?" Zeke asks me with a burger in his mouth.

"I was shot a week ago and just have some soreness in my chest when lifting things. Other then that I'm fine. I am out of shape though which isn't helping to hike around here."

Everyone just nods and eats. I notice Eric and his friend James have taken seats at the end of the table.

We continue small talk throughout the dinner before Four excuses both of us to head back to my apartment, but that's not where I want to go.

I turn a corner sooner then what I should for the apartments and Four follows not questioning me. My path should become clear to him soon and it does when I head for the roof.

There's a ladder I have to climb up to get there, but I can't do much damage then what already is to myself so I go for it. I hear Four yell at me but I keep going as he follows.

I feel the fresh night air on my face and relish in this moment that I almost never got to live again.

* * *

 _ **How am I doing? Does this story suck? Who's enjoying it? Would you like this timeline for awhile or to jump to them training the first initiate class?**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**ERIC's POV**_

 _Flashback:_

The girl with brownish hair, Lauren, is rambling off about covalent and molecular compounds. We're fourteen and I don't understand how she's fit this much information into her brain unless she doesn't sleep, but we _are_ Erudite so that explains it.

After her presentation it's lunch and I can't wait. The more I stare at the girl the more I find her attractive. My teenage hormones could just see her as that; at least that's what the books say. I should excuse myself and get to the library before someone takes the new serum book that arrived…two minutes ago according to my watch.

"That was exceptional Lauren!" The teacher exclaims and the class claps.

Lauren sits down with a smile on her face knowing she full well impressed our teacher and it will probably get to Jeannie.

Everyone is trying to impress Jeannie because she's looking for her next student apprentice and our class meets the age requirement.

"Read the next five chapters of your chemistry book and write annotations for me by Tuesday, you're all dismissed!"

I walk as quickly as an Erudite possibly can to the library. I take all the short cuts I can think of and breeze down the white walls. I enter the library and there's not many here. I head to ask Claire the head librarian if I can take out the book. Lauren is standing there too and I fear that she's already claimed the book.

"Eric how can I help you?" Claire asks me.

"I was hoping to take out the new serums book." I say proudly.

"Ah Eric I'm afraid Lauren has already requested to have it taken out."

I push my glasses up to my nose and start to walk away. I have a temper that isn't welcome in Erudite so my parents told me to just walk away from the situation if I ever feel like yelling.

* * *

After classes for the day I head into my parents home and into my room.

I pull out the books on Dauntless and fighting from their secret hiding spots. I've got until I'm 18 when the Choosing Ceremony will take place, but deep down I know that this is what I should be.

I feel so cooped up here in Erudite. I do like the books though, but it's just not enough.

* * *

 _PRESENT DAY_

It's so early but I'm smoking on my balcony in waits for the initiates to arrive.

I remember when I was fourteen and how much I wanted this and now here I am a leader in Dauntless.

James said that the first day of initiation is the worst. I'm prepared enough but the fact that I will be working with Lauren and Four makes me question if I am.

Four and I keep getting into stupid physical fights. I should back down, but I am what I am.

Trying to talk to Lauren has been impossible. It's been a couple months and I think Jeannie has backed off enough that I could have a relationship with Lauren, but then there's all those random girls I slept with and she probably heard about that. So once again I've ruined any chance.

In reality it was only 4 but I know the gossip around here changed that into 20. Who in the hell would think that 20 girls from Dauntless would even meet my standards to sleep with them?

* * *

 _ **Lauren's POV**_

The first initiate hits the net in an ear-piercing scream and I roll my eyes as Four helps him out and does the whole announcement thing.

37 initiates later and I can tell that I'm not the only one who is glad this part is over.

Four and I knew this would be the boring part when we were trained for this.

We lead them down the hall and give them the Dauntless tour before getting groans from them all when they see the dormitory.

Then it's off to the dining hall. I start heading there when Max grabs me. What did I fuck up already?

"Lauren, can I have a minute?"

"Of course sir."

"I didn't want to discuss this before of who's doing what but I'll announce it tomorrow with the initiates so that I don't get the reaction I'll get if I pull the three of you into a room."

I nod my head at what he's saying as he looks down the hall.

"Max what is it?"

"I'm putting you and James in charge of the Dauntless born training. This is only James' second year but I think both of you will be fine. I'm leaving Eric and Four in charge of the transfers."

I swear my mouth drops when I hear the last part. Four and Eric have been at each other's throats for the last month. Max smiles at me as he walks away and heads to the dining hall himself. I pull myself together and start walking that way.

They're truly letting us do this on our own.

James is a prick, which is probably why him and Eric get along. Both have been notorious for sleeping with any Dauntless girl that batted their eyelashes at the two of them in the past couple months. If I thought Eric was a pompous ass before well now he's even more then that. It's strange to watch someone you were so close to fade away from you. I shake the thought as I sit next to Four. Our initiates are mostly at this table and the next so I can't drop the news that he has to work with Eric yet, but Max told me so I could mention it to Four already.

I scan the initiates now better as I eat. We have to already predict who will be cut. There's a girl, Kelsey, who looks terrified to even eat and I just have a feeling she won't make it long. Then there's a boy who transferred from Erudite that I've never even seen and he looks terrified. The others are making small talk and getting to know each other.

Four nudges my arm, "Who's your pick for the weakest?" He says softly. I look at him before directing my eyes to Kelsey and the Erudite boy. Four nods his head agreeing with me.

* * *

Preparing myself for the first official day of training was a little nerve wracking. Four and I headed to the training room just as the initiates started coming in. Eric and James followed not too long afterwards. I didn't have the stomach for breakfast this morning, but I hope the initiates did, I remember how terrible this day was. Max enters and everyone goes quiet.

"There will be two groups Transfers and Dauntless born. Each will have two leaders to their group and you will treat them with the upper most respect or we will make you factionless. Transfers your leaders are Eric and Four. Dauntless born you get Lauren and James." Max states and I see Eric's head turn when he realizes he's working with Four.

"Why is a girl leading us!" A Dauntless born whines and I glare at him as Max goes over to him and gets in his face, "Want to say that again initiate?" The kid shakes his head no. "Here in Dauntless you are all treated as equals, as Dauntless born you should know that your gender doesn't matter."

* * *

"That was terrible five more laps go! No dragging behind!" I yell at my group and they take off again.

"I'm impressed." James says as he hands me water.

"I watched all of the training footage they had. I can't let them walk all over me either." I say and take a sip.

"You're doing better then I did on my first day at leading training."

I smile at him and it quickly falls off my face as the same two kids keep lagging. "Jace! Hannah! Pick it up!" I yell.

Next we start learning fight training. I somehow easily take James down and I wonder if he's even trying. We combine classes on this and the transfers stare at my tinnier stature in disbelief that I took James out.

"Now that you saw that," Eric starts and everyone shuts up because they're terrified of him already, "new rules are being put in place and I'll have you know that the top 10 ranked from each group with make it."

Max said that there would be new rules, but I didn't think it would be this. How vile are these initiates going to get towards each other?

"What does that mean?" The weak Erudite boy asks.

Eric gets in his face, "Well Carl apparently you've lost your smarts. Ten transfer and ten Dauntless born will make it…that makes a total of 20 of you in this room. Meaning that seventeen of you will become Factionless. You can't run home to mommy now." He evilly says the last part and turns to the rest of the initiates, "If you think you won't make it now, leave, we don't want your cowardliness here."

No one moves. I wonder if they're too shocked or a new onset of determination has been brought upon them.

Four and I set both our groups up to practice simple fight moves. All four of us watch the initiates carefully. There's times where we point out mistakes and have to correct them…and there's times when they aren't even trying and we yell.

Rex and Jace are punching the shit out of each other and completely avoiding what we instructed them to do and now I get to show my authority while Eric is here.

"Rex! Jace! Stop that!" They don't stop so I run to them. I kick Rex off his balance and he falls to the floor as I grab at Jace who tries to hit me back and I laugh in this smug little bastard's face.

I see James grab Rex up to his feet and he yells at him to go do laps as I'm still trying to grab a hold of Jace who now kicks at my feet, that's it.

I hit him in his throat and he chokes which gives me enough time to knock his knees out as well and he buckles to the floor in front of me.

I push the hair out of my face before full force yelling in my newfound leader voice, "Go do laps until I tell you to fucking stop. And never disrespect me or any of the other leaders by fighting back again!" He just looks at me and I pull him half up.

"I don't have to listen to you!" He exclaims and out of nowhere Eric comes and drags him to his feet, "What was that you prick!"

The whole room is staring and I yell at them to keep going as Four is helping two girls with technique. This is going to be hell.

* * *

The end of the day couldn't come fast enough. Four and I agreed to go home and shower then go out for drinks, because let's face it alcohol was needed.

"Lauren!" I turn my head to see Eric yelling my name as I head to the elevators. I stop and wait for him to catch up to me.

"Hey" I say when he approaches. I have to be civil to him since he's also training initiates.

"Way to stick up for yourself today. Max and I want to extend how proud we were of you." He uses his leader voice with me, which I've even found intimidating at times.

"I was just doing my job." I go to turn away and he grabs my arm, but I don't shake him.

"We should go out for a drink one day…" he surprisingly says.

"Maybe" and I head to the elevators.

I was waiting for Eric to follow me and it didn't happen. He's probably finding some girl in that Pit that he can easily bang instead of trying to get into my pants. I sigh and head to my bathroom to shower.

* * *

Four and I head to the Pit, because honestly that's the only place to drink.

It's loud as hell. I don't work the infirmary tonight but just by sights I can already tell I may get called in to help, but I just won't answer my phone.

Four can't drink much because he has been getting into pointless fights, so I have to watch him.

He gets us drinks and we make small talk about the initiates. For once I catch sight of Eric before he sees me.

He's drunk, the Erudite in me wants to study him, so I decide to while watching Four.

He approaches some blonde with a cheeky smile and then takes a sip of his drink. They talk and get closer together with the more words spread. She puts her hand on his chest and he drunkly laughs with her at their conversation. His hand goes to her waist while the other still juggles the beer in his hand.

Four clears his throat bringing me out of my thoughts. He looks at me and shakes his head. I shrug and sip my beer.

"It's not the same with you." Four says suddenly.

"What?"

"He doesn't look at them how he looks at you."

"Four," I warn; I'm not going there with this.

"It's true…he looks at you like he cares."

"You've had enough to drink obviously."

He laughs, "Sometimes I think you need to drink more to help you see clearly as the rest of us do when we're like this."

* * *

I wake up with a hangover and curse that Four got me drunk and I spilled everything he wanted to know out of my mouth. Apparently that much alcohol is like truth serum to me.

I have an hour before training starts so I go to the infirmary to get something for this hangover and check to see if I work any this week with training the initiates.

The only one who is here at this hour is Ellen and she smiles as she sees me enter.

"I didn't put you on for this week at all since it's your first week of initiate training."

"Ah okay," I say as I squint my eyes at the bright lights in here.

Ellen laughs, "Follow me" and I do as we head to the serum storage area.

She scans into the room and motions for me to go in as she enters too heading over to one of the boxes to unlock it.

"Hangover serum is something I will only give to you and Lance understood?"

I nod and she injects the serum into my neck.

"It was Four's fault…"

"I'm sure it was better get to training before the fearless leader gets to you."

"Is that what they're calling Eric now?"

Ellen laughs at this, "The initiates that have been in here have"

* * *

"Run! Faster!" I yell at the Dauntless born. I can over hear Four instructing his group on more fighting techniques. James is picking on Jace egging him on to run even faster, prick deserves it. Eric's aspect of helping this training consists of coming in and out throughout the day and telling us what we're doing wrong or observing for Max.

He comes in before lunch today as my initiates are sparring against each other. James went to help Four, the transfers aren't catching on as fast so I agreed he needed to help them more then me.

I feel Eric's presence getting closer as I yell, "stop" to the two that are fighting and "next" to the next group.

"Where's James?" He stands next to me and I don't look at him when I reply, "Transfers are being a pain. I told him I could handle this."

It's quiet between us as I call the pair to stop and the next goes up.

"They're sloppy," Eric says flatly.

"It's day two, I'm observing."

"You should start instructing them."

I turn to him now, "You haven't been doing this longer then me so don't start. I'm following procedure."

He glares as I focus back on my initiates. They're sloppy but not as bad as the transfers.

* * *

I feel like I've been tossing and turning forever in bed. I can't shake it so I decide to get up and see that its only 2:32am.

My feet take me to the rooftop. Maybe the stars will calm my sleepless state.

I sit where the initiates stand to fall into the net with my feet dangling over the side of the building, keeping it dangerous like a true Dauntless. I brought a book with me that I've been reading and wonder how frowned upon it is to do this in a public place since I'm former Erudite but I don't care.

The drunks of the Pit were roaming but that's all who's out.

I get lost in my book about serums when a hand gently touches my shoulder and I flinch not expecting anyone to be here.

"I was just concerned that you were up here at this hour."

"I couldn't sleep," I say to Eric.

He sits the opposite way next to me much closer to my body then I expected. He glances at my book and we sit there in silence until I finish the chapter. I close it and meet his eyes.

"Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep either."

"Oh" is all I can say and I yawn.

"Yeah I still never got to read that serum book since someone took it that first day it arrived in the library..." Eric sarcastically says and I lightly punch him.

He stands and reaches his hand out for me to grab it, "Come on I'll walk you to your apartment."

I don't take it at first, "I can get there myself."

"There's crazy drunk Dauntless around at this hour, please?" His face melts into the Erudite boy I once knew.

We reach my door and I say thanks but he stops me from going inside my apartment.

"Drinks Lauren, Friday?"

"It's going to be crazy out on Friday at the actual bar."

"My place then, I can finally read that book and we can study the initiates like the true Noses we used to be."

I'm too tired to argue so I agree and head inside to finally go back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_**LAUREN'S POV**_

I knock on the door of Eric's apartment. For some reason I'm nervous. No, I'm nervous because it's Eric and he's unpredictable this week.

The door opens with no one on the other side. I reach my hand to my knife in my pocket just incase.

"Get in here and get your hand off your knife." Eric says annoyed.

I enter and look up to see his face bloody, a confused look enters my face and he answers, "Four and I got into another fight. Sit, I'm going to go finish cleaning this up."

He walks to his bathroom and I follow. He doesn't question me as I make him sit on the closed toilet seat as I see what supplies he got out to clean his face. He winces as I apply the rubbing alcohol to his temple and cheek with a cotton ball. Those are the worst of the marks and the rest will be bruising. I take a washcloth and warm it with water and soap and begin to gently wash off the rest of the blood. He's watching me but neither of us says anything. I bandage up his cuts and begin cleaning the mess of first aid stuff off his bathroom counter. He gets up and wraps his arms around my waist from behind me. I don't react and keep putting stuff away as I feel his eyes watching me through the mirror in front of us.

He presses his head down into my hair and whispers thank you to me in a kryptonite voice.

I'm frozen and I know where this will go but I can't. He meets my eyes back in the mirror and I feel him softly chuckle as he walks away. I take a breath with both of us knowing that he got to me.

I walk out to the kitchen and he pours us both some whiskey and slides the glass to me.

I pick it up and head to sit on the couch and don't watch him as he sits next to me. Nothing is what you think it is with Eric.

"Lauren…" He says softly.

Here we go, I turn and face him and our eyes meet.

Like magnets we pull together and he comes to my face and I smell the whiskey on his breath as he takes my glass with his and puts it on the end table.

"Tell me to stop before I start."

It's almost like a plead, but I don't stop him and our lips hungrily meet each other's.

I wanted him to be gentle for just once but nothing about Eric is gentle.

He bites at my neck and moan. Our bodies can't get closer then this even though we are trying. I feel the stubble of his facial hair down my neck as he sucks and bites at it.

I shouldn't be giving in. I need to stop but I just can't.

I'm a Dauntless woman I can do this. I can stand up to Eric.

I pull away and I see the lust in his eyes and feel the soreness in my neck.

"No Eric. This isn't...this can't be like this. You can't have me at your disposal."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Then what are you doing?"

"It's complicated...I just know that I need you in my life."

"One minute you're my friend and the next you're trying to get into my pants…" He stops me.

"Stop Lauren. This is how I need you so why can't you just accept it?"

I stand up now angry, "I'm not at your fucking disposal Eric."

"I'm a Leader Lauren there are things I can do to get my way and you know it."

"Why abuse your power for me? Why not try and create an actual human relationship with me!"

He goes to pull me back to him and I hit at his arm, which was a bad move. He grabs my wrist harshly and pulls me to him.

His looks are lethal and I'm not his prey so I fight back.

Since I'm on top of his lap I knee him in the ribs and he just grips my one wrist harder and releases my other one to pull my back closer to him. The split second I elbow him in the jaw and he growls. He can easily flip me over and take complete control but he hasn't. Finally he makes the calculated decision to pick me up with him and I use the tricks Amar taught me to spin myself backwards and out of his arms with my feet landing perfectly on the ground. The look on Eric's face makes me laugh. I'm not far from him and he charges at me. This fight has become equal and I wonder who's going to win.

Both of our lethal sides are exposed. Going up against each other is going to end badly but we don't stop. The Dauntless instincts of fighting have kicked in, it's not yell fighting, it's physical.

He punches my jaw first and I duck before he can do it again and punch his abdomen. He knocks my feet out but I catch myself and hit at the back of his knees causing him to stumble. I get up and go to punch him down more when there's a knock at his door causing us both to freeze.

We are still hoping whoever it is goes away there's blood coming from both our mouths and I'm sure we look like hell from sparing for just a few minutes.

"Eric! It's Max open this damn door!"

Shit!

There's one way I can safely get out of this. I grab my phone from the end table and open the door, "Max" I say to him as he looks puzzled and slip right past him not looking back or giving him any time to react at my current state.

If I go to my apartment, Eric will come to apologize about everything getting out of hand like it always does and how he just doesn't know how to be with me or even be friends with me.

I head to Four's, which is a terrible idea too, but I have to go somewhere he won't come.

I knock and he appears on the other side. I hear Zeke and their other friend Sean laughing.

I hate to bring Four into this, especially when him and Eric just fought, but I need him right now.

He looks at my bloody face and then scans the rest of me. He turns around to face his friends and tells them that they need to leave as he invites me in.

I sit on his couch as he goes to get his first aid kit. He hands me ice to put on my knuckles that are bruised and begins to clean up my face.

He's done and I know what coming. I fidget on the couch before he says it.

"What happened?"

I look down and bite my lip not wanting to answer. I don't want to fuel this fire more.

"What did Eric do Lauren?" He says now clearly pissed.

"I don't know what happened we just kind of started punching each other and didn't back down. Max showed up and I ran here." I play with the ice on my hand.

Four gets up from sitting in front of me and runs his hands through his hair as he paces unable to control his anger.

"You two made out again. You freaked out again and punched him didn't you?"

I don't answer.

"Lauren, what's the problem with him and you? Is there something I'm missing?"

I don't know what my problem is. Can I not commit to Eric because he is Eric?

I shake my head and look away. Four comes and sits by me and puts his hand on my less bruised one, that's a lot of affection for him to show and I'm surprised.

"Hey. I just don't want to see you torture yourself like this. You've got to figure out what you'll be okay with. If being with Eric is what you want then so be it. We will all support you and if not, screw them."

"Thanks Four."

* * *

Fox decides to be my pain in the ass today as she's lagging with everything because she's hung-over.

I wait for Eric to show, but that's not his style I know he'd rather lurk in the shadows and grab me there.

James is yelling at everyone else for their terrible knife throwing and the Erudite in me laughs at how terrible their calculations are. I get to drill Fox and Jace with laps since they aren't doing what they're supposed to at this rate.

Everyone gets their shit together suddenly and I realize that Max and Eric are watching from the one side.

They still aren't hitting the target with the knives but they're putting in the effort.

Fox is doing the idiotic thing ever with her knife and I can't take it anymore. "You!" I yell at her in my instructor voice and she freezes. I stand next to her and she doesn't face me, "Initiate you better face me when I'm talking to you." And she turns to me. "What the fuck are you doing with that knife?" She's scared of me because she trembles when she answers, "I'm trying...to throw it."

A sadistic laugh comes over me, "Everyone stop!" I yell loud enough for my whole group to hear. Four's is up shooting on the roof, which I can imagine is going well if Eric is down here.

"Give me your knife Fox," and she complies. "Since you're all acting like you've never seen one of these before today, this is a knife. You don't hold it like this or this," I demonstrate, "You hold it like this. We're half way through training and none of you can properly do this yet. Now watch my stance and how I throw." I line up, aim and hit dead center of the target. I take another knife off the table and stand next to Fox. "Now mirror what I do and you should at least come close to the target but you'll have to find you're own rhythm. Ready? On the count of five we will release get your stance ready. One. Two. Three. Four. Five." And all the knives are thrown. Mine hits perfect as well as majority of the class's. "Keep practicing till lunch. We all are going to hit the center or no lunch, go!"

I back away and watch them with James.

"You're truly impressive." He says and I nudge him with my elbow.

Max and Eric leave they got what they wanted to see.

Lunch comes and I'm two seats down from Eric because all the initiates are taking over the space. I feel him glare at me every chance he gets. He's trying to intimidate me into taking to him and I'm not giving in. I'm done with my food earlier then the others because I just picked at it. I know I'm stressed and that's why I don't want to eat but I tried at least. I get up and toss my tray and head to the old swimming pool to try and clear my head. Eric would have found me at the roof so this was my next choice.

I climb down the old pool ladder and lay myself into the deepest part staring up into the glass roof that covers this building.

I reminisce on my childhood, mostly my parents and then of course Eric and my friend Cara. She's working somewhere in Erudite under Jeannie. Which has its pros and cons.

I hear footsteps and don't move. I don't want to see Eric right now but it's probably him.

"Lauren," the voice says.

I jolt up, it's Max.

"Yes sir?"

"After the remainder of your lunch hour come to my office. James will take over until you return." He says sternly.

"Yes sir" and he walks away his footsteps echoing in a distance.

I lie back down. How did he find me here? That doesn't matter I guess as much as why I'm probably going to his office. I punched Eric, a Dauntless Leader and now I'll probably have to pay etc.

* * *

When I finally rest my head on the pillow I'm glad it's the weekend and I don't have to deal with the initiates, just the infirmary.

Max told me how well I'm doing etc. before he got to ask about Eric and I. He didn't get anything out of Eric, so he had to ask me. I told him the condensed version and that it's personal really. He let it go for now but I could tell he was pissed.

Four has checked out me, but that's about it. I know he'll support me regardless, but he needs to figure out himself too.

For now all I can do is let sleep take me.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Lauren's POV**_

I jolt up in my bed covered in sweat. The nightmares continue. Last time I was this disturbed was after doing my fear landscape for the first time.

It's his face with his mouth yelling terrible things at me. Then his hands grabbing my throat so tightly until I run out of air and wake up in my current state.

This is so unhealthy to be dreaming of Eric like this. It's not like I have to face him everyday now or anything.

I splash water on my face and prepare for the last week of training before initiation is over and I go back to full time nurse at the infirmary.

Everyone who knows me is questioning my relationship with Eric. I just don't want to talk about it. Neither of us has spoken about it since the fight happened. It's been strictly professional between us. That doesn't stop Four, Zeke, Shauna, and even James from questioning me every second they get.

I walk out my apartment door remembering that I need to leave all my personal shit behind me this last week of training.

Four stands by the elevator waiting for me with two coffees in his hands.

I take one from him as we both get in the elevator.

"It looks like you needed that." He remarks and I just shrug and keep drinking the hot beverage.

Walking to the training room something is off and the faces of our confused initiates confirm it.

Eric is yelling and I realize we are down two initiates.

"Whatever made any of you think that this wasn't serious? You all have the blood on your hands now! ALL OF YOU! COWARDS!" He walks away from them now coming to Four and I, he stops though, "Initiates, run laps until I return. No stopping!"

"What's this about Eric?" Four asks first and Eric is fuming.

"We had an initiate jump into the chasm and another try to stop him and fell as well."

"Who?"

"Carl and Jack from Erudite." Two transfer gone, just like that. With both being from Erudite I bet Jeannie will be making an appearance to investigate.

Eric interrupts my thoughts; "It's under investigation but believed that some of the initiates suggested that Carl wasn't going to make it and bullied him into this. Jack just tried to stop him, but was too late. James was down there and will be up here soon to assist you with training today Four. Lauren come with me."

I don't question him, it's not safe to do when he's like this for I fear the Eric from my nightmares will kill me. We head down a hallway I've never been and I hesitate enough for Eric to assure me.

"Hey, we have to go to Erudite to tell the families. Because they were initiates and not technically full members of Dauntless yet it's protocol."

His eyes meet mine and I relax as I see murderous Eric resolve from his features.

"Why me, I wasn't the attending nurse?"

"But you are a nurse and former Erudite. Ellen sent the reports to my tablet and you can look them over in the car to explain injuries to the families if need be."

* * *

The white walls of Erudite almost make me sick on sight now. The ride here with Eric was professional. He explained that we would be meeting both families and Jeannie in a conference room, informing them both at the same time.

I'm also not looking forward to being in the same room with Jeannie.

The Erudite man escorts us into the room where everyone is calmly sitting until Eric and I walk in.

There's just something about Erudite seeing Dauntless that makes them sit a little straighter, more pretentious.

We stand like perfect Dauntless soldiers as we explain what happened this morning at the compound. One of the mother's, who I assume is Carl's, starts crying. The two fathers and other mother keep their stone cold faces, calculating what we just said.

Jeannie dismisses the families after hearing what they want with their children's bodies. Carl's family, the mother that was crying, wants him brought back to Erudite and Jack's leave it in Dauntless's hands.

"Jeannie, this was a courtesy, whatever you need to say to us hopefully won't take long we have initiates to get back in order." Eric says in a very impressive way to Jeannie.

She calculates her response before answering, "Find out if either of them were Divergent."

I can't react when she says that. If I twitch or blink, I fear she'll know that I am. Amar told me that if I told anyone besides Four I would die. I know how bad this is that I am Divergent.

Eric laughs, "They weren't. Carl was simply a coward and Jack was an idiot for trying to save him. We are going now. Nice to see you again, Jeannie."

I nod as we walk out. We don't need the escort, obviously.

The car ride back is strange.

"Have you ever driven a car before?" He asks me.

I look at him like he's crazy. You have to have high rank to do such a thing like being a leader like he is.

He gives me a sadistic smile as the car comes to a halt. He puts it in park and gets out coming to my side.

"Get in the drivers seat."

"Eric"

"Are you disobeying a leader Ms. Dyer?"

I roll my eyes and slide over to the drivers seat. I've never driven before and I try to pull all my knowledge about cars out of my brain from my Erudite days. If I crash this car Eric will kill me.

"You do know what the wheel does and what pedals are what right?"

I glare at him again.

"Eyes on the road, Dyer"

He took us to a secluded part of Chicago probably so I don't make a fool out of myself in front of other factions though I know he'll never live it down.

I do well at 5mph but Eric eggs me on to go faster and that he can out run me at this point.

It's surprisingly easy. He said he got it in 4 days and they let him drive regularly since he's a leader.

I push to a comfortable 50mph, which is perfect for the street we are on now.

"Not bad nose, not bad at all" Eric says. I'm certain that's the first time I've ever heard him compliment anyone so I just smile.

Eric drives us back to Dauntless and we depart once we are inside.

I go back to training and he goes to see Max. He wasn't bad today and I have to give him credit. He's never going to be anyone but himself but he showed control, he can be kind when he wishes behind his cruel leader act.

The initiates are throwing knives again. I wonder how long they ran for until Four realized that Eric fooled them and wasn't returning.

I see improvement but some of the techniques frighten me.

* * *

By time dinner comes I'm exhausted. I get my dinner to go from the food hall and head to my apartment.

Getting settled in I kick off my boots and change into clean clothes before eating.

Ellen sends all the reports to me of injuries so I can keep up when I return full time in less then a week.

I suddenly feel light headed and I loose my vision as I feel myself being removed from my couch, unconsciousness takes me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Lauren's POV**

I slowly open my eyes and see a female dressed in blue standing in front of me. As my vision comes to focus I realize it's Jeannie and I jump my senses kicking in. I'm at Erudite; they figured out what I am.

Is she going to kill me just like that?

"Hello Lauren" Jeannie says monotone.

"Why am I here?" I look around figuring out how I can escape.

"You're a pawn sweetie, don't you worry everything will be fine soon." She walks away and mumbles something to her assistant. What the fuck is going on?

Something is placed over my head and the assistant pulls a chair up as a doctor comes to sit in it. The assistant goes behind the glass with Jeannie.

I lived in Erudite majority of my life and I don't know what this is. I struggle against my restraints but it's no use, I am trapped.

The machine on my head makes a noise. The doctor looks at me, "Are you Divergent?" He asks.

If this is something to detect if I'm lying I can't let my heart rate or anything else elevate. I try to keep calm thoughts and think of something clever to say. I can't die like this.

"Are you seriously accusing someone of my status of that?" I bark out, almost like Eric would.

He looks perturbed, "Are you Divergent?"

"I am Dauntless. You drugged me and brought me here for this stupid inquisition."

Jeannine's voice comes over a speaker, "It shows she's speaking the truth. Try again."

"Are you Divergent?" The doctor asks again, flatly.

"No, release me now." He looks back to where Jeannie is safely hidden behind the glass.

"At this stage we can not show Divergence. It shows 50/50." Her voice booms.

"Jeannie!" I hear a familiar voice yell. It's Max. There's a group of six Dauntless soldiers behind him. Then I see Eric and James.

"You have taken one of my members without permission from Dauntless Leaders or the member's herself permission. Release her now and erase any information you have taken." Max motions for his men to step forward as he stands his ground with Jeannie.

Eric and James come to me first. Eric pushes the doctor out of the way.

"Are you injured?" James asks and I say no to that and all his other questions. They tell me to gently stand up and I do and teeter. Eric puts his hand on my back to steady me as we walk out.

The ride back to Dauntless is odd. It's 2:30am and Max is beyond pissed at Jeannie.

She's trying to apparently make a device that will be handheld to detect Divergence. It didn't work well enough yet, or at all to detect mine.

Eric sits across from me in the back of the open truck. He's got that usual look on his face but I study him until his eyes meet mine. We stare and I look to make sure no one else sees us; they don't, so I continue the silent stare with Eric until we reach the compound.

James and Eric are unsurprisingly ordered to walk me back to my apartment and Max is going to order security for me. Eric tells him that won't be needed and I wonder.

"Eric, no." I say realizing he wants to watch over me. James shakes his head and walks away with Max who rolls his eyes and doesn't even argue with Eric.

"Shut up and come on," he says as he grabs my arm dragging me with him.

"Why are you making this difficult?" I ask him.

"I could ask you the same." He retorts.

We get outside his apartment door before I really struggle. The closer we got the tighter his grip got.

"If you fucking scream you will regret it." He says before I can realize what he's doing, he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder and I try to punch his back.

He sets me on the couch and I get up to try to go past him and he just pushes me back down.

"One, you don't speak of this incident."

He pushes me down each time in between his list as I still struggle.

"Two, you're safest here."

Yeah, because Eric gets what he wants and Max won't even argue with him.

"Three, stop struggling and we can go to sleep."

I stop and look up at him. "We are most definitely NOT going to sleep together."

"Four," he picks me up again and carries me to his bedroom, "you are very wrong Lauren." The way he says my name makes it sound so frigid, so vile.

He shuts me in the bathroom now not before he tosses one of his shirts at me to change into. I don't want to give in but I feel exhausted. So I get ready and knock on the door when I'm done. He lets me out and motions for me to get into his bed. He's in sweats and a t-shirt as he walks out of the room.

"Wait where are you going?"

"To sleep on the fucking couch. Are you done asking so many god damn questions?"

I roll my eyes, "You don't have to do this. I'll be fine in my own apartment."

He slams the door shut and I get comfy, surprisingly falling asleep quickly.

* * *

I sit with Four at lunch. We both study Jace as he flirts with Ariel and hold back laughs. I pick at my food. I don't have much of an appetite after last night. Four knows I've been having nightmares, so he doesn't question it. I wonder if Jeannie trying to kill me will be the new subject in my nightmares instead of Eric.

The rest of the day drags on and I realize besides knife throwing, we've got a pretty good group here.

I'm so tired by time I get to my apartment that I don't even notice Eric sitting on my couch until he speaks.

"Fuck!" I scream and he laughs. I realize my hand is on my knife and he does too as he stops laughing. He comes close enough to corner me between him and my kitchen cabinet that I'm standing against.

I take my hand away from the knife in my pocket and turn to go to my fridge, but he doesn't let me.

He speaks softly, but dully. "You need to understand that I would never intentionally hurt you. I came here last night to your door open and couldn't find you. By that time James saw on the cameras that Erudite had taken you. I don't like when someone takes what is mine."

My eyes meet his and his face is unreadable.

"We needed to stop dancing around like this, Eric."

"Then let's figure it out."

"If only it were that simple." I try to move again and he stops me.

"If I let you go this will never get sorted."

"I'm some girl, Eric, you can let it go."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" He growls out now raising his voice.

I'm uncomfortable with his rage being this close to me, too much has happened that's fucked with my head.

"Hey," he says softer now putting both hands around the back of the top of my neck. He tries to read my eyes, anything, but I won't let him.

"I can't wait any longer. I don't care what anyone says Lauren, I want you to be with me and only me."

I shake my head; "There's other women in Dauntless Eric…" I can't finish my argument, because he stops me, "But they aren't you Lauren, they don't exceed my expectations like you do, hell they don't come close to you."

His lips touch mine and off this dance goes. We kiss and it tries to lead to something more and I stop it, but this time he pulls away.

"Give me a chance and I'll let you go to sleep."

"Why do you always get what you want?" I ask him annoyed that I'm giving in.

"So is that a yes?"

"Yeah, now let me go to sleep," I say and playfully smack him as I walk to my bedroom.

* * *

Four is administering the last run of fear landscapes before the final testing tomorrow.

I'm in the infirmary reading in my shared office with Lance who is texting his boyfriend.

It's been slow since the initiate training is almost over, but as soon as they become members and are out in real Dauntless life I'm sure chaos will take over again.

"Dyer are you supposed to be reading books here?" I was so consumed in my book that I jump.

Lance laughs and strangely stares at me when he realizes it's Eric here.

He comes and sits on the edge of my desk as I try to finish this chapter. His impatience takes over as he pulls the book from my hands.

"I was almost done!" I plead and Lance curiously watches this exchange.

"Bullshit. Come on let's go to dinner." He gets off my desk and walks to the doorway. I sign out of my laptop and place it in my bag along with my book.

"See you Lance," and he just stares.

It's strange being with Eric like this as we walk the halls to the food hall. He's not going to hold my hand; he's not that type of guy. He does sit next to me though after we both get trays of food.

He makes small talk and he asks me if I would like to come read my book at his apartment while he finishes up paperwork for the day there.

He's actually trying and I appreciate it. Who knew Eric Coulter would actually go out of his way to make sure he charms me?

The pounding on my door 20 minutes before final testing begins makes me groan. I know who it is and why he's about to break the fucking door down.

"Four, stop I'm coming to open it."

And I open it and he quickly walks in.

"Why are you and Eric so friendly?"

I roll my eyes and walk out the door with him following, "Morning to you too Four, final testing is beginning soon."

"Did you give in?"

"Not willingly…"

"Lauren…" he says concerned.

"Not like that…I'm trying to see where it will lead okay." He lets me into the door first as the initiates are outside the room nervous as can be.

* * *

"Congratulations to our new members!" Max yells with Eric and the other leaders besides him. We all cheer out in the dining hall.

Four, Zeke, Shauna, James, and I all joke around at dinner. James somehow just became apart of our group, he has his moment, but he actually gets along with other humans.

Eric sits with the leaders two tables down. I catch him staring in my direction a couple times.

There's a party every night in Dauntless, but tonights will be the biggest. Of course everyone is excited but Four and I could care less. We decided to have our own party with a bottle of whiskey in my apartment. Max requires us to meet with him before we leave dinner and after that we are free.

* * *

"How the hell did you get out of the Hancock Building fun?" I laugh and Four laughs too.

"Amar…he seriously got me out of anything with heights."

"I didn't mean…" I start, "No it's fine…" he says and we both sip the whiskey from our glasses.

Someone knocks on my door and I get up from my couch and open the door to an angry looking Eric. He storms in and looks at the scene before him. Four is sitting on my couch smug with his whiskey, and I look to Eric as I shut my door.

"If you shed blood on my floor because of your pride Eric…" I warn.

"Why the fuck is he here alone with you?"

I walk over and grab my glass downing some of the whiskey before answering him.

"We didn't feel like going to the party so here we are just two drunk friends. Is there a problem Eric?" I used my instructor tone with him, which was probably a bad idea, but I'm too drunk to care.

"Lauren Dyer, I am not an initiate." He gets in my face and I smell alcohol on him as well.

Four gets up, "Thanks for the alcohol Lauren."

Eric grabs his arm as he passes him and I grab Eric's arm and he lets go of Four's.

"I'm fine." I say to reassure Four as he leaves.

Now I'm alone to face Eric.


	15. Chapter 15

Lauren's POV

* * *

I wish I could say every bone in my body hurt. That there was a soreness between my legs from the night before, but that isn't how dating a Dauntless Leader panned out to be.

Distant is a good word to describe it. I didn't know he'd grow colder as the days would go by. I didn't think he'd just give me a quick kiss sneakily in the hallways, because Eric Coulter does NOT show public affection. I didn't think seeing him everyday would be after my long shift at the infirmary and him walking me to my apartment, only to leave me at my door and said he had his duties to attend to.

Am I sick of it?

Yes.

Should I have expected this?

Probably.

I've bounced into the same routine of waking up working and sleeping. That's all I know how to do. I don't eat in the food hall. I take it to go and eat alone in my office at the infirmary.

I talk to Lance and Ally because I'm now training her.

I'm supposed to go on another patrol that Eric is leading. Part of me wants to run away, but I am Dauntless and that would be a cowardly thing to do.

I am miserable.

There, I said it.

* * *

It's nearing the end of my shift as I wait for Eric. I'm in the supply room so I don't expect to see him come. I put the last of the gauze away and head to my office. Hopeful that he'll be there.

He's not. My shift ended 10 minutes ago. He would never not be on time, he's too punctual. He's not showing and there's nothing I can do but drag myself home.

I could go to the bar though. That would be a change of routine something to take the edge off.

I've become a mopey girl and it needs to stop, this needs to stop.

I start with a beer at the bar and then it turns into 3 and then 2 whiskey's before I'm cut off. I'm confused as to why a Dauntless bartender would do such a thing when I see the piercing eyes across the room.

He comes to me and speaks something to me that makes me stand up and stumble with him. This is probably a terrible sight. I am a terrible sight and I've let him get to me. I let my emotions win. I'm in and out of consciousness and I hear the shutting of my door before I realize that he carried me to my apartment.

Everything hurts. He lays me on my bed and suddenly I feel my boots being taken off followed by my pants, shirt, and bra. Is he going to have his way with me since I'm so drunk? Why am I thinking this?

He lifts me up to sit and puts one of his shirts over my head and down over me. I sit there staring off into the distance as the room spins. He gives me water and a pill. I take both.

He kicks his boots off and goes over to a bag, where did his bag come from? He changes into sweats before climbing into my bed and pulling me back with him. I let the darkness take me.

* * *

It's only been a couple of hours since I've been out because it's still dark outside. He's sleeping next to me with his arm around my waist. This is different. My stomach turns and I realize that all that alcohol is going to make me throw up. I don't want to wake him so I quickly but swiftly get out of bed a dart to my toilet just making it as the contents of my stomach exit into the toilet. I've never been this drunk to be this sick.

"Little Nose, don't you know not to drink that much." His voice says as he enters my bathroom crouching down next to me as I sit in between throwing up.

"Why are you still here?" I ask curious.

"You need me." He simply states.

"Eric..."

"I'm not backing down but you look..." And I'm throwing up again before he can finish his sentence. He's holding my hair back and rubbing circles on my back. The giant scary man can be this gentle, who knew. "...as I was saying. You look like shit. This is partially my fault."

* * *

The sun hurts. Something is tossed at me, a pillow. "What the fuck," I groan and Eric is standing in my doorway questionably looking at me.

"There she is, I told Ellen you're hung-over but do you even know what time it is?"

I touch my nightstand and the time illuminates in the air above it, 4:42pm.

"Fuck!" I jump out of bed and get way too dizzy and Eric helps me sit on my bed.

"You got way too drunk last night Lauren. What were you thinking?"

I groan, "Ask me when my head isn't spinning and the sun doesn't hurt."

He gives me that look and I challenge it with one back.

"Why did you drink like that? You're still an Erudite at heart."

"It's not like I never stole alcohol from my parents stash, Eric." I get up slowly now and go shower.

I come out to Eric gone from my apartment. I should be frigid like my mother and not show emotions, I need to polish up my act, and fast.

* * *

Eating in the food hall is the first step to this. I haven't talked to Four or Shauna or anyone really. I sit down and grab food from the table as they say nothing and stare.

"Are you sick?" Shauna asks.

"Nope," I say popping the 'p.'

"Where the fuck have you been all day?" Four asks.

They're staring at me like I'm crazy, "I'm fine."

I continue eating until I feel that stare, Eric's. It's like we're magnets and I always feel him near. He's above starring right at me.

"Lauren…want to go climb the Willis Tower?" Zeke asks.

"I thought Hancock was all we were allowed to climb?"

"Technically yes…but I have the access. You can see beyond the wall apparently and Four won't come so I figured I'd ask you." Zeke answers. I give Four a knowing look as to why he won't go on anything that high.

I reply simply with a "sure."

* * *

We have to sneak out of the compound and catch a train. It feels good to have fresh air on my face.

The fact that we had to sneak out made me uneasy. I have my knife and I see Zeke brought two guns. With the factionless on the loose closer to all the compounds this probably isn't safe. There are 10 of us against them though.

We board the train without any problems and I finally am able to breathe as I talk to Shauna. We get off in enough stops and all smoothly land on our feet from the train. I know pretty much everyone here. Some are from the control room and others were in my initiate class or the year before us.

Zeke and James say that the building is two blocks ahead so that's where we walk.

Then I hear a shot break out and Shauna and I freeze as well as some of the group with us.

None of us have protective gear on. If someone got shot this isn't going to be good.

Three people are down in front of us as more shots break out and I grab Shauna and run for the nearest cover.


	16. Chapter 16

I pull out my gun and so does Shauna. The easiest thing to do is run off back to Dauntless and never say we were here but the surveillance cameras won't let that happen.

Someone needs to call Dauntless and say that we're under attack. If I call Eric he's going to be angry. If I call Four he'll take care of it, even though he'll be mad too. I decide to go with the lesser of two evils and call Four.

Within 10 minutes we hear the trucks coming but not before a factionless rebel finds us.

I shoot the man point blank and he falls, dead. I'm impressed with myself.

I go to shoot who approaches next when I realize it's Eric with his gun pointed at us.

"Ah what the fuck you two. Follow me." He uses his deadly tone and Shauna and I share a knowingly look.

As Eric's back is towards us another factionless man screams at the loss of his friend that I shot and raises his gun to the back of Eric's head who can't react quick enough, but I can. Adrenaline pumps through me as I take the shot and knock the man down for Eric to finish him.

Shauna stares in disbelief.

"We have to go now, it's not safe. Watch everything around you extra closely." Eric says.

I can feel his anger towards me that I would be so stupid to go out into this sector of the city in the middle of the night. There's going to be hell to pay.

* * *

The four of us that made it back uninjured are getting interrogated with questions. No one wants to talk to say whose idea this was or what we were doing. I laugh to myself at all the tactics they're using to try to get us to open up and theoretically, none of them are going to work.

The Candor transfer speaks. He spills everything and we all roll our eyes. There are 5 leaders in a room with us; they out numbered us for a reason. Did they think we were rebelling ourselves? No matter what I couldn't defect from Dauntless.

"Thank you for your Candor you dumbass. This is Dauntless fucking act like it!" Eric shouts. He's intimidating and scary, it's rare for me to see him completely like this. I've never been in the same room, but now I actually feel threatened, even though he's promised not to physically hurt me.

They let us leave satisfied that we just wanted to climb the tallest building in the city and not defect from Dauntless, so I head to the infirmary to check on Zeke who got slightly injured.

There are guards outside the doors, which is abnormal.

"You. Hold on. Who the fuck you think you are waltzing up into the infirmary?" The guard asks me.

"I work here asshole, let me in."

"What's your name?"

He can't be serious, "Lauren Dyer"

He types it in his tablet, which I'm surprised he's intelligent enough to use it and even spell my name without help.

"This says your access is suspended."

I'm impatient, "Do I have to call Ellen out here?"

"Let it go Dyer." His voice hits me like a ton of bricks, it's the tone he uses. Like I'm the initiate that pissed him off way too much and I'm about to be tossed over the chasm. Here's my hell to pay.

"Listen to a leader and leave this area," the guard says and he goes to grab my arm to pull me away.

I shake him off and turn to the left down a hallway I haven't been in since initiation. It's away from both pricks though so I'll take it. Eric isn't following me so I take it he was ordered to go to the infirmary and just was there when I happened to be. Hell will still occur though.

I hear water and know exactly where I am, the lower level of the chasm. It's a hall that splits two ways one to just the chasm where you walk to the end of it and sit, or die. And the other leads to the main hall.

I've flirted with death once tonight so I head to sit by the chasm and listen to the water. It's peaceful.

"Get up from there and follow me."

Of course he found me. The hunter always finds his prey.

"No."

"Dyer you're pushing your power here."

I turn to face him by pulling my feet up and leaning more inside the doorway. He's standing towering over me. I just look at him questioningly.

He just stands there with his arms crossed challenging me. I roll my eyes and assume how I was sitting before.

He joins me, which surprises me.

"I thought I almost lost you again. I went to your apartment and you weren't there. Then I saw Four heading out and I knew that he knew where you were."

Silence fills the air.

"Don't do stupid things like that again, you're smarter then this."

I feel him inching closer to my side. I'm not having it.

"My intelligence is nothing for you to question Eric. This is Dauntless, wake the fuck up and start realizing that I'm not the girl you knew in Erudite. I'm a full fledge Dauntless woman and if you don't like it you can fuck off. I'm sick of your games."

I get up leaving him speechless. I wanted him to kiss me there I wanted that romantic scene that I've read in books. The chasm is the most romantic thing we can get around here. I don't want this. I don't want Eric anymore. That's a lie. I want him to care about me, but I don't know what to feel, so I keep pushing him away.

The realization hits me as I enter my apartment to Four sitting on my couch, unusual.

"Zeke is okay. I wanted to make sure you were before I went home to sleep."

"Yeah thanks I'm going to sleep now too," he knows something is wrong.

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it tonight a lot happened okay. I need to process it. Let's both get to sleep."

I thought I almost lost you again. Those words pierce through me all night as I try to fall asleep before sunrise but it's no use. He knows just how to fuck with my head. Every time I want to leave he pulls me right back in.

* * *

It's 5:49am, Eric won't be awake yet or at least he shouldn't be after the night we had. The idea that pops through my head is a dangerous one, but it could work.

I toss my long hair in a braid and put on a shirt over my sports bra and slip on a pair of leggings over my underwear.

He won't expect this. I need to show Eric that I want us.

I head to his apartment and the hallways of Dauntless are very quiet that it's extremely eerie.

I type the code in and enter his apartment.

He's not in the kitchen area or living area so I make my way past his spare room and into his bedroom. I open the door carefully and the light is on. His figure isn't in his bed but I hear the water running in the bathroom and I quietly curse at myself for this, but I can't back down now.

I strip myself of my clothes and set them on the chair next to his bed.

This is a terrible idea and I don't even know why I am doing it.

I quietly enter the bathroom and open the shower door quietly. He doesn't hear me and his back is turned to me as I wrap my arms around him, he tenses and quickly turns to see that it's me.

His Erudite curiosity must be killing him he stares at my face in disbelief, before staring down my naked body, almost watering at the mouth. I cross my arms over my bare chest.

"Are you just going to stare or do something about the fact that I'm naked in your shower, Coulter?" I say sarcastically. I have him right where I want him.

"What are you doing Lauren?" He asks softly, not what I was expecting him to say or sound like.

I roll my eyes and go closer to pull his face to mine as I crash my lips into his. I feel the tension coming off of him, I put him in a position that he doesn't know how to get out of without calculating everything. He never saw this coming.

He crashes his lips to mine before picking me up skillfully and carrying both of our soaking wet bodies to the bed.

No words are spoken, only the cries of pleasure from both of us. We needed this. Our relationship is terribly complicated, but we needed this.

Afterwards he lays me on his chest while playing with my hair that got out of the braid from our activity.

"We should both be getting to work, Laur."

"We had a hard night. Plus I'm still not allowed in the infirmary."

"You're status will be cleared as soon as I get to my office…"

"I didn't sleep…" I say in hopes he'll wait until later to make my status active again so that I don't have to go to work.

"You're not leaving my arms then."

I look up at him and he just looks back at me, and I can see how calm his face looks now.

"You have to work though…"

"I'll catch up later…we need to work on us first."

"Us?" I can barely keep my eyes open.

"Sleep, we'll talk when you wake up."

* * *

"So you want to take me to this dinner as your date and that's why you're fixing things between us? So that I don't stab you with a dinner knife?"

He tosses back the rest of his whiskey before pouring both of us more.

"Dyer why are you such a stubborn pain in the ass?"

"You first." I smile and he shakes his head. He comes to the side of the counter I'm sitting on and places himself in between my legs as he hands me more whiskey.

Our eyes stay attached as I sip my whiskey. I want him to give in. I need him to say things, not only when he's afraid he'll lose me.

He takes the glass from me and places ours together on the counter. He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me down so that I'm standing on the ground in front of him.

"Please go to this dinner with me Dyer." He says softly in my hair as he pulled me close.

He's intoxicating, almost as much as I am intoxicated from this whiskey.

"Ugh, I'm not wearing a dress…"

"Why not?"

"If this is a dinner with all the leaders and assistants, I can't have people thinking I've become some kind of Dauntless slut."

He laughs, which is rare, "Says the woman who came ass naked in my shower this morning!"

We both laugh and then that turns into kissing. Which leads to us being teases before dinner.

* * *

We sit at dinner with a mixture of both our friends. No one questions us, but it's not like they already know. Max comes and whispers something to Eric and he's pissy after that.

Greg, a higher up with the leaders, ask Eric who he's taking to the Leadership and Associates Dinner, and I swear everyone stops breathing.

"Lauren, obviously." He says and Greg answers with, "Why out of all the women in Dauntless an infirmary nurse?"

"Because she's my girlfriend you idiot!" All the tables around us get quiet before Eric glares at them to continue their eating and I just shake my head as Four smiles at me, knowing.

Eric kisses me goodbye as he heads off to do whatever Max wanted him for.

I get up shortly after to head to the infirmary now that my status has been cleared.

It's busy at the infirmary, which isn't too unusual, but still concerns me. I head into my office to log on to the computer and see what injuries we have and where I can assist.

Zeke is my first stop as it looks like he just needs glanced over and discharged.

"Hi, you look better." I set my tablet down on the edge of the bed before beginning to check him over. He's awfully quiet, very un-Zeke like.

"They're talking about you."

"What about me?"

"That you and Eric are dating. They have theories. There's Dauntless who think they can use you to get to him. It's not safe for you to be dating him…"

"Oh Zeke, you don't think I know what I signed up for? Besides I am a Dauntless woman who can take care of myself. If anyone tries to mess with me they'll be dead, regardless."

"You just need to be careful Dyer."

I finish his report up and tell him he's discharged.

* * *

Shauna has insisted I try every dress on in the store before going to the pantsuit option. Her friend Tori is here as well to help. Nothing feels appropriate enough for this type of dinner in front of other factions and well, Jeannie Matthews.

There's a black deep cut jumpsuit that I've been eyeing. If I style it with a body chain underneath and pull my hair up with fancy earrings, it should work.

It fits me perfectly and we all decide that is it. Tori is going to let me borrow some jewelry and I'm set.

I head back to my own apartment and wonder if Eric will run into me.

It's that eerie time of the night at Dauntless where it's not that late but not that early and everyone is in certain places or residing in their own apartments.

Tori and Shauna warned me about being with Eric too, but they don't know him like I do. Everyone knows scary leader Eric, and sure I've seen that side of him too, but he will do everything he can to protect me.

I wonder if he knows I'm Divergent, if he did I probably still wouldn't be here. If he ever finds out he will probably kill me out of it being an order.

My apartment appears how I left it. Which is good since it seems no one is trying to kill me since I belong to Eric now. That doesn't stop my curiosity to see if someone is hiding in the shadows as I turn every light on in my apartment.

I'm in my bedroom when someone grabs me and out of reaction my gun was the quickest thing to grab.

"Lauren! It's me!" Eric yells and I set the gun down in relief. "What the fuck was that?"

"I'm leverage now."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Against you. People are talking. I was just protecting myself, you startled me." I set my gun down with the safety back on.

His face is scrunched in confusion until realization hits him.

"They will not use you against me. I will throw them over the chasm personally. You will be protected."

I nod and continue on putting my jumpsuit away. He sits there on the bed still trying to read me. He's unsure of everything right now and I can tell that. I don't know what orders he's been given and here I am now complicating his job probably. We chose this though; we know the consequences.

He grabs me from prancing back and forth in my room doing unnecessary things, and pulls me onto his lap.

The gentle giant just holds me and I pull away after awhile to look into his eyes as he looks back into mine. My fingers trace his face and I feel him relax. He's always so tense and it's a nice sight to see him like this.

Disappointment crosses his face, "I have to go babe. Duty calls."

Every other girl would melt at their boyfriend calling them 'babe,' I just don't know how I feel about it, and just nod my head. He's a dauntless leader, this should happen. I shouldn't be his beck and call all the time.

He kisses me before he leaves and I crawl into bed. I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow before the dinner. Which is good because I won't have much free time to over analyze every single aspect of what could go wrong with Jeannie Matthews being in the same room as me. Will she try to get me alone to test her latest Divergence detector on me?

* * *

I barely sleep and spend most of the night tossing and turning. I work at 8am and decide to give up on sleep at 5:30am and get ready to go to the gym.

No one should be here and it may help me.

I slowly stretch and take my time warming up. I start with a punching bag and get lost in the feeling of my fists pounding into it. There's sweat dripping down me. My arms begin to feel numb, but I can't stop punching. It's as if I'm releasing everything that has been pent up inside of me.

I just want to scream. Everything is going too well.

I'm overthinking. This is why my mother hated me at times because I over analyzed things. She called them 'episodes' that I would have.

This feeling hasn't happened to me in years.

Dauntless got to me finally, the same way school would at Erudite.

My hands are bleeding, I smell the blood, but I can't see it.

Everything is starting to get fuzzy and black as I hear my name being yelled but I don't react.

Someone grabs me and I hear a scream come out of my mouth, but it doesn't feel like it came from my mouth.

I see black but I can still hear it all. The panic has taken me into its depths.

 _"Four what the fuck is happening to her?"_

 _"I don't know Eric, call Lance!"_

 _"Lauren? Hun can you hear me?"_

 _"He's on his way!"_

 _"Her breathing is rapid."_

 _"Her body is in a state of panic. Has she ever had this happen before?"_

 _"Her records indicate that it has."_

 _"We gave her a serum she'll be okay in about 10 minutes."_

I open my eyes and see the grey ceiling of the infirmary. No one is around me, and I don't see an IV hooked up to me. I know what happened. I'm perfectly fine to leave and discharge myself.

I slowly get out of the bed and head over to the office area. Where the fuck is Ellen and Lance?

I confirm my diagnosis and discharge myself. Walking out the doors I see Eric, Max, Four, Lance, Ellen, and Zeke standing there. They stop talking when they see me.

"Get your ass back in that bed!" Lance yells. Everyone else looks at me almost as if I'm crazy.

"I discharged myself, I'm fine. I'll be back for work in 30 minutes."

They try to protest but I just keep walking to head to my apartment.

I shower and get ready to head back to the infirmary to work. I probably should rest but I feel fine now, my body needed to get that out of its system.

I lie out my stuff for tonight on my bed and hope it will go smoothly. Thankfully I can keep my knife on me.

Eric's at my front door as I go to walk out.

"Trying to get out of tonight?"

"Don't be an ass to me right now…" I say and he follows me down the hall.

"I was kidding Laur. You okay?"

"Eric Coulter doesn't joke and yeah I'm fine." I leave him and head to grab food to take to work with me.

Ellen desked me today unless they need help, which of course happens and I'm pulling glass out of people.

I feel like if something else is going to go wrong, it's going to be at the dinner tonight.


	17. Chapter 17

After my panic attack this morning I feel that Eric has eyes on me everywhere I go. I've seen people in the infirmary who are assistants to leaders and I've seen others in the dining hall, Eric obviously sent them.

Getting to my apartment I lock the door completely and make sure no one is in here and its all clear.

Time to get ready for this dinner where I bet Jeannie will glare at me the whole time.

I put makeup on my face, which feels foreign, as I haven't done it in awhile. I look decent enough to put on my pantsuit and jewelry. Eric texts me that he's on his way and I'm curious as to what his expression will be when he sees me.

For once Eric knocks on my door instead of letting himself in. He's dressed well and I smile as I welcome him in.

He stares at me speechless and I laugh.

"Come on let's getting going."

"How the hell do you expect me to control myself around you at this dinner when you look this damn good." He licks his lips.

"I don't know that's for you to figure out." I open the door before he can even argue as we head down to the hallway and off to apart of Dauntless I've never been before.

Apparently Dauntless headquarters was the safest place to hold this extravagant occasion.

The room is large and well lit with many circular tables lining it. I didn't expect for there to be this many people.

We are escorted to a table with Abnegation and Erudite members, which is quite interesting. I'm away from Jeannie so I actually don't mind, but we all know how Eric feels about Stiffs.

"Hello, I'm Natalie Prior." The woman beside me says and I almost extend my hand to her to introduce myself until I remember that Abnegation isn't the touchy kind. Instead, I smile back and introduce myself.

We get into a conversation and it's quite easy. I actually think I could say that I like the Abnegation woman before me.

I didn't notice until our food arrived that Eric had placed his hand on my right thigh. It's hidden but it's a lot of public affection for him to even be attempting. A kiss wasn't much because it was quick, but this is commitment and I smile at his sour expression to be sitting at a table with these kinds of people.

He's all business and I'm just the woman on his arm, but I do make a name for myself at this table.

"So Lauren, what is your role here at Dauntless?" Andrew Prior asks me.

"Well sir, I took on a lot, in my first year but it's been a riveting opportunity. I'm an infirmary nurse, initiation leader, and assistant to Max when need be." I take a sip of wine and continue eating.

"You both transferred from Erudite?" A man next to Eric asks us.

I keep eating knowing that he'll answer. "Yes we did," Eric answers.

"High ranks I assume for you both to be taking on such ambitious jobs at your age."

"Age doesn't matter in the Dauntless system, as you know. Lauren and I were in the top 3 of our class. We are extremely dedicated to expanding this faction's full potential by completely are duties." The way Eric says that gets everyone to stop talking and just eating. Our table grows quite, but not for long, as we clear our plates people from other tables get up to make small talk.

Eric and I don't get to escape Jeannie coming our way.

"Miss Dyer and Mister Coulter, what a pleasure to be seeing you this evening." She says in her cold icy tone.

"Nice to see you too." Eric says and rests his hand on my back, as if he's protecting me.

I look everywhere but at her hoping that she won't talk to me, but she does.

"Lauren, I see you're conforming to Dauntless…outfits, quite well." I want to laugh in her face at her distaste for what I'm wearing. I actually really would prefer to punch her straight in the jaw, but I won't so I just smile as Max waves us over to him.

"Did you want to punch her as much as I did?" Eric whispers to me as we cross the room to Max. I laugh and nod at him as he let's a small smile out.

We reach Max and I see that Tori is his date and send her a confused look as she just smiles.

"Jeannie was being her wonderful self I imagine, figured I'd save you two."

"Thanks Max, we surely appreciate it." Eric answers.

"The Priors mention anything about the allegations from their faction?" Max looks to me as he says this, so I answer, "No, they were quite friendly."

A member of the security team comes up to Max suddenly. Reading both their body languages, I can tell this isn't good.

"Eric. Take Lauren somewhere safe and meet me at the security room." He says low enough for us to only hear.

Eric is walking me out of there as Max is getting out of the room and on the phone outside of it.

Eric pulls out his phone to call security. "I don't give a fuck if you're on the line with Max and me, what the fuck is going on? - What do you mean? - Shit. He wants me to make the call? Well what the fuck? - Lock it down! Yes, all of it!"

"Eric."

"Factionless stormed the building. The jumped the net and couldn't get into the infirmary and are headed for the Pit. I can't get you back to my apartment safely so I guess you're going to stay with me." He says assertively as we cross the hall to go up to the control rooms.

"How many?"

"About 60 of them…they're coming after all the leaders here."

That's all he says as we storm into the control room where Max and the other leaders are as well as Tori.

"What the fuck Eric, she can't be in here!" Max shouts.

"Tori is, so shut up…what do we have?"

"A giant brawl in the Pit. All the apartments are locked in. Guards are on the perimeter in case they try to get up on the elevator that leads to the dinner."

An older leader, Gus speaks, "I have 3 teams placed around The Pit. It's going to get bloody."

"They're still coming in sir!" A woman yells from the monitor in front of her. There's about 5 Factionless jumping down into the net.

"I'll handle it." Eric says.

"Wait!" Max shouts before Eric exits the room, "Take Lauren with you, she's an excellent shot." I nod to them both as Eric and I go running down the hall.

Adrenaline is pumping through me as I realize we are headed to the supply room on this floor to get weapons. Although I prefer my knife, this isn't the time for that.

"Sure you're up for battle in that outfit?" Eric asks as his eyes gaze the sides of my exposed boobs from my pantsuit.

"Please it's going to be such a turn on for you to watch me kick ass in this." I say playfully as I load my guns into the hoister around my waist that I found in the closet.

"Laur, the order is shoot to kill…I don't know why Max asked you to…" I stop him. "Eric this is Dauntless, if that's the order then we follow it. Let's go we are wasting time."

The elevator leads us out near the chasm and we cross over it to go through the initiate dorms before barging out into the hallway that leads to the net. I follow Eric's lead as I cover him and he goes out face first.

We are shot at and I wonder how the hell Factionless got their hands on guns? Suddenly I'm punched from my side and I defend myself by throwing the man to the ground before shooting him in the chest.

I save lives and I take lives, this is my Dauntless duty. I have to do this to protect my faction and now is not the time for a moral standpoint on this.

Eric takes down the other 3 and we realize one is still missing from the 5 that entered. He taps on his arm tablet to see that the other one made it to the chasm and motions for me to follow him.

We get there and there's no one. Until Eric is pushed up against the railing, because they came to get the leaders so I'm not a threat, or so this man thought.

I bash the man with the butt of my gun but it doesn't stop him and now he's after me as we are fighting over the chasm. This is going to end badly.

It's wet and my shoes are loosing their grip. We're trying our best, but there's a sense of fear in me.

The man knocks my gun off the bridge and I quickly act and grab my knife and stab him as he comes to knock me down. He wasn't expecting it but he still fights. Trying to tighten his grip up around my neck. I realize Eric lost his gun too and my knife is pressing dangerously close to my wrist as the man puts his weight on me. I kick him but it's no use. Why the fuck isn't Eric helping?

I jerk to see that he's unconscious and I think how fucked we both our now by this Factionless man. I think back to the extra training Amar taught me and use it.

I head-butt the man and he moves enough for me to get my knife to his neck but he doesn't stop. I don't want to slit his throat, but I have to do something. In my moment of weakness he sees it and takes the opportunity, but I know I have to take mine and I slice his throat. Blood rushes out and covers me as his body goes limp and I push to get him off of me as I see Max and two guards coming to my aid.

Eric is out cold and I see the gash on his head. He probably has a concussion but it's nothing we can't fix in the infirmary.

"Lauren you alright?" Max says as the guards get the body and he helps me up with blood everywhere on me.

"Yeah…yeah…there was just a second there. Eric, we need to get him to the infirmary." I look over to him and Max nods his head but grabs my arm.

"I saw the infirmary report about you this morning."

"I'm fine sir, I just need to take better care of myself."

He lets me go as I go over to Eric's unconscious body. I ask Max to call the infirmary and tell them what I need as I keep Eric's head still. There's serum to fix this, but until then I need to keep his head still.

* * *

"When he wakes up, I'll call you. For the love of all Lauren Dyer go get clean clothes and all the blood off of you!" Ellen yells at me as I sit with Eric after fixing him up. His head injury wasn't too serious but he needs to be unconscious for the serum to fully heal him and when he wakes he'll be fine except for another dose.

I don't want to leave him though.

"Dyer!"

"Fine! I'll be back in 30 minutes."

"I will call you when he wakes. Wash up and sleep. Don't argue just go!" She yells and I oblige.

* * *

For slicing open someone's throat I sleep well. It's 7:15AM and I see I've had no calls from Ellen. I scrubbed my skin almost red last night from trying to get the blood off my body. I felt weird about it…

I walk out to my bedroom and he's on my bed and I about jump out of my skin.

"Eric Coulter, who the fuck signed you out of the infirmary?" I yell at him like he's an initiate.

"I did."

"Of fucking course." I say and grab what clothes I need and storm into the bathroom to get dressed. I storm back out pissed at him. I could inject sleeping serum into him and get someone to drag his ass back to the infirmary or make him stay here and I go get more healing serum and stuff to stitch his head.

"I've officially pissed off Lauren Dyer. Who knew this was possible?" He says smugly.

"You smug bastard. Did you not read the tablet that you put your precious leadership signature on?" Time to play Erudite with him.

"What?"

I pull it up on my tablet and shove it in his face as I sarcastically read his chart from last night.

"L. Dyer. N.P. diagnoses E. Coulter with MHI and is prescribed the following regime before discharge:

2 doses of healing serum – 1 completed

Leadership Physical Ability Assessment – complete

Gauze changed to stiches – not completed

E. Coulter was discharged at 8:00am by…oh would you look at that Eric, it's your signature!"

He looks at me like his doesn't give a single fuck, which I expected. I want to bash the tablet in his face.

"When did you become a Nurse Practitioner of the infirmary? That's Ellen's title."

"She's an MD dumbass. We all got tested here awhile ago."

"You could fix me up here and I can take residency in your bed?" He says devilishly.

I flip him off as I head to get stuff because he knows he already won. I'm trying to focus on everything but last night and it seems impossible. I shouldn't care this much about silting open a guy's throat who was trying to kill me, but it's apart of that dangerous word that I am.

It's finger pad access only to the infirmary, which is appalling. This is only for emergencies. I am granted access and see that we are packed; the Factionless injured many. Eric probably left by himself to not show weakness to this many people.

I take it all in. Seeing if I know anyone and I see the one face bloody that I never want to see like that.


	18. Chapter 18

Four's face is bloody as he sits in a chair waiting to be taken care of. He's one of the lucky ones. His eyes meet mine and I see how glad he is that I'm now there.

There are Erudite nurses here, but it's still not enough. I wonder what happened to the Factionless that got injured. Did they run back when they realized they weren't getting to the Leaders Dinner? Or did they stay and meet their fate of death?

I approach Four only to tell him that I'll be back to take care of him. He says that's fine and leaders ordered him here, otherwise he wouldn't be here.

I head past more injured Dauntless and down to the hall that leads to the supply room.

I open the door and Max, Ellen, and Lance are in there and I send them a confused look as I shut the door behind me.

"There's not enough supplies and Erudite has taken over." Ellen quickly says to me.

I pause carefully thinking of what to say since Max is here, "Eric signed himself out and didn't get the rest of the serum that he needed…"

"Take what you need for him. Don't come back down here until Ellen calls you in." Max says to me while Ellen stares at him and he meets her stare just to shake his head.

I take what I need for Eric and Four since I won't be able to come back down.

I walk back to Four and motion for him to follow me. Since Eric's in my apartment and Four is down the hall it will be easy to quickly do this.

There are guards everywhere with some of a mix of Erudite security. We make it back to outside of my apartment where I tell Four what's going to happen and that I promise I get to him and hand him his supplies as he walks down to his apartment door. As soon as he disappears behind his door, I open and enter my apartment.

Eric's asleep in my bed. I'm going to have to wake him to administer this so he doesn't rip my head off.

He stirs easier then what I expected and I give him the serum and stich his head in silence.

I head to Four's without saying so to Eric. He's lethargic from the serum.

* * *

"Thanks again, Lauren." Four says as I finish cleaning him up.

"They never would've helped you at the infirmary with Erudite being all over that place. Strange isn't it?" I say and he looks away. "Four, what do you know?"

"You can't ask Eric about this."

"Okay…"

"There's been talk in the surveillance room about Erudite and Dauntless siding with each other. Jeannie has been here more then we all know and apparently Max has been going to Erudite a lot as well. We think they're forming an alliance."

I toss my gloves into his trashcan. Why would they make an alliance? They're planning something like Eric told me before. "What would they be doing?"

I know, I have a feeling but I want Four to confirm it. I need Four to confirm it.

"To start a war…against anyone against the system. The Divergent would probably be the main focus."

Me, I'm what the war would be about. They want all the Divergents dead because they don't conform to society, I don't conform.

"They're going to take out the Divergents. Genocide." We stay quiet both understanding what this means and what will probably happen.

If Eric finds out that I'm Divergent I am dead. They'll be actively hunting us. Who knows what Jeannie created…how they'll monitor us…they'll always be watching.

Four speaks breaking me out of my thoughts.

"They'll probably start monitor the next initiates. Start at Testing Day and see how they do with whatever they choose.

* * *

Thoughts race throughout the night in my head. I let Eric sleep next to me. I don't know why I feel so safe with him here when he can kill me in my sleep.

It wouldn't be logical for us to keep this relationship. Not when a Dauntless Leader is dating a Divergent…who is almost into a leadership position herself. Do more people know I'm Divergent then what I think? Does Eric know and he's just waiting for the order to kill me?

If I seduce him more and he finds out it's only to save myself, I'll end up dead. There's only one-way this all pans out…me dead.

My thoughts cause my heart to race and I get up to get a drink.

Maybe sitting on the couch will calm me down.

"Are you okay?" He sits next to me with concern all over his face. I can't tell him that I'm Divergent and afraid of him killing me, but I can tell him a lie he will believe.

"I had a nightmare…with the man's throat I slit. It's nothing I'll be fine." I sip my water and he pulls me into his side and kisses the top of my head. He believed it.

"He would've killed you Lauren. Let's go back to bed."

I nod my head and he carries me back and I don't protest. Is it sick of me to want to at least enjoy my time with him?

* * *

The eldest woman leader, Aries, requests to meet with me in the morning.

Her secretary lets me into the office and I shake Aries hand as I sit down.

"Lauren Dyer…what an impressive woman you are."

She sips her coffee as I wait for her to continue.

"I would wish you as my successor, but we both know that the factions won't last that long."

I can't sit here and let her be cryptic with me any longer. "Why am I here?"

"You're dating Eric Coulter and you're Divergent."

I'm dead he's coming in to kill me and I look back at the door and Aries laughs.

"Sweetie. This room is secure. Let me tell you a secret. These fools never figured out that I was either. I'm sitting on the fucking throne as these men worship to me, not knowing I'm the very thing they despise. Amar and I were close…you know what I mean." She says with a wink and continues on, "I'm worried about your safety. You ranked third. You have the second highest intelligence of all the women in this faction, bet they didn't tell you that though. Yet here you are with the very thing that can kill you. Explain yourself."

Why should I trust her? She could be lying to me right now. I decide to tell her the usual story of how Eric and I are together. The one I have to force out of my mouth that's vague but descriptive enough to curb anyone's curiosity when they ask.

When I finish she looks at me. "You're even more intelligent then what I thought. I actually would buy that if I was anyone else, but I'm not anyone else. I've watched you and you've been oblivious. Are you just waiting for them to take you out?"

My brain is telling me to speak up for myself, "No. I know it's a risk, but I chose to stay in this faction after finding out what I am."

"Very well. I will watch out for you, because like I said you have potential. I will warn you that this new choosing year they're on the hunt for every Divergent there is. They will find them. I know what Jeannie did to you. Just don't think you're safe with Eric. He won't protect you."

* * *

I go to Four's apartment instead of my own. Eric might be at mine and I can't face him right now. Four let's me in with no questions asked.

I lie on his bed on my back. He lies across from me.

"Bad day?" I nod my head yes at him. If Aries was lying and I just sold myself out they're looking for me to kill me. I think I can trust her though, so let's just hope I'm right.

"We should go to the dining hall for dinner Lauren."

I groan and roll on my stomach sinking my face into Four's blankets.

"Or I can bring you food back but you're going to have to face Eric."

"He'll be pissed at the both of us…so let's go."

* * *

Eric's nowhere to be found in the dining hall but I leave the seat next to me open just incase. We've blended into a weird seating arrangement because majority of us can't stand the new members.

I slowly pick at my food and Four just tells everyone I'm still shaken up from the Factionless attack, which they accept because everyone has been on edge.

Erudite still has taken over the infirmary so Lance sits with us as well.

Someone touches my shoulder and I turn to see Eric.

"Hey" I say in attempts to make everything seem okay.

"Meet me at my office when you're done here." He says in his stone cold voice and I worry, but he kisses the top of my head before he leaves. He's sick but not that sick to do that before killing me.

I warn Four that if I don't show up something happened and get up to make my way to Eric's office.

I type in my code to the Leader's Offices sector of the buildings and am granted access because of my status. None of the secretaries are here at this late hour so I let myself into Eric's office.

He sits behind his laptop not even budging when I enter and stand before him.

I feel like I'm standing there forever before he finally speaks.

"Why did you talk to Aries today?"

Remain calm and lie through your teeth, "She requested a meeting with me to remind me how important my status is especially with the upcoming Choosing Day."

He sits still typing and I cross my arms getting impatient with whatever the hell this is.

"I'll see you at my place."

What the fuck? "You couldn't have asked me this later?"

"I said I'll see you at my place Lauren. That's a dismissal from a leader. Don't disobey me."

Not saying a word to him I walk out. Instead of going to his apartment or mine, I go to the poolroom and out to it balcony.

I need the air. I sometimes feel like I'm suffocating here in Dauntless and this past week has been one of those times. Eric probably watched me on the cameras to see where I went. He'll find me soon enough.

"Twice in one day…and I wasn't even looking for you this time." Aries is behind me. I barely see her around and now she's just here.

"What a coincidence." I say like a smug Erudite.

"Eric is fishing as to why I called an appointment with you."

I look around swearing the cameras can hear this.

"There's no sound out here." She read my mind. "Eric's a little arrogant brat. He's got some balls snooping around in my business. He's more betrothed to you then I thought. I'd tell you to use it to keep yourself alive, but I bet that's already crossed your mind."

I look away from her and out into the city, "He'd kill me the second he figured it out."

We're in silence for a couple minutes until the door to the balcony opens and we both know whom it is that we don't even move.

"What the fuck is this? A secret meeting?" Eric is pissed.

"I'm just talking to a potential replacement for me one day, Eric. She's got the potential part down for sure. Plus should you truly be questioning a leader in my status?" He looks like a puppy that's been scolded after the tone Aries used with him.

"Fine. Lauren let's go." He demands and I look at him like he's gone crazy as he tries to order me around in front of Aries, always trying to show authority.

"Not tonight Eric."

He gives me a death glare before storming off and Aries laughs.

"Wow that was impressive."

"If I go home he's going to be there and I'll pay then."

"I bet he's a good fuck, it will be better when he's angry." She laughs again and I just shake my head and walk away.

* * *

I'm not even in my door before Eric slams me against the wall as he shuts and locks my door.

"Don't ever undermine me again." The words aren't even out of his mouth before I have him on the ground and I'm pinning him down. He's on his stomach as I'm sitting on his lower back with his arm pulled in a painful position.

"What was that again, Eric?" I devilishly say.

I let him move so that he turns to be on his back and now is staring at me.

"I could kill you with my bare hands for that move."

"You were weak Nose, shouldn't let a Dauntless woman like me fool you." That was probably a terrible choice of words but he can't say one day that I didn't warn him.

He looks deadly. He obviously wants to play and I'm not going to protest to having him fill my insides.

I strip my shirt off and my bra…leaving my pierced nipples exposed with my breasts.

He stares with his hands moving to my bare waist as his mouth slightly opens, watering at the sight before him.

Suddenly he pulls me up with him.

"This isn't fair Laur." I take off the rest of what I have on and am naked before him.

"Then leave Eric."

He growls before picking me up and carrying me to the couch. I'm set on it as he's removing all of his clothes.

He's licking and sucking in between my legs.

He's touching me everywhere I needed, relaxing me.

I pull on his hair as he lets out a throaty growl that sends vibrations right on my clit.

I'm so close but he's not letting me release. He's at my lips letting me taste myself as our tongues battle for dominance. This isn't a sweet fuck, he's going to tear me apart and I know it.

He pins me down and bites my neck causing soft moans to escape my mouth. There's no warning when he enters me roughly and starts moving harshly in and out.

Afterwards, he collapses on top of me and we are both covered in sweat.

"We should shower."

"Yeah we should."

After we shower he climbs into the opposite side of bed with me. I see that I am truly his weakness and that he'll always find a way to forgive me. If he finds out I'm Divergent, I don't know how he'll react.

If you aren't Divergent you don't understand. The only reason we're a threat is because we don't conform to one way of thinking, or thinking how they want us to think.

We are independent which means we are seen as rebels. I just hope that whatever goes down we all make it out alive and a mass genocide doesn't happen.

I do not want to die because I am Divergent. It would be such a wasteful way to go out. However I die, just please let me go out like the solider I was trained to be.


	19. Chapter 19

"I will not have weak initiation instructors!" Max slams his fist into the long table on the opposite side of us. He's going on a rant that he's had to replace the instructors every year and is showing us our ranking, because of course in Dauntless you get ranked on everything. Ours are all about the same, which I guess is why he isn't happy.

"Eric is leading the initiation. You have a problem you go to him he will also be helping out when he sees fit. There will be one instructor per the two groups."

It's James, Four, and I…this means one of us is out.

"Lauren you're instructing the Dauntless-born. Four you're instructing the transfers. James, I haven't been happy with you lately. You're performance here has been lacking which is why you'll be at the fence for the next month until you get your act together. Now all of you get out!"

The vicious man looks like he hasn't slept in days. He's probably running on pure caffeine at this point.

I practically sprint to the safety of the infirmary and am relieved when I see that Ellen and Lance already have a bottle of whiskey out at 1pm.

"Drink," Lance says as he hands me the bottle.

"Max is in a terrible mood."

"He's been like that all week Lauren."

I plop in my seat; "He downgraded James to the fence."

"Shit, he's off the rails for sure then." Lance says as we all share the bottle.

"This is the last quiet day before all the damn initiates come in here. He put Eric in charge of the whole thing didn't he?" Of course Ellen already knows and I just nod my head yes.

* * *

At dinner they tell all the 18 year olds to be brave in the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. How nice of them to say before they start their manhunt for every Divergent in the city. After that mostly no one cares to discuss it any further.

I sit with Tori and Aries, which hasn't been unusual this past week but I know that people are talking as to why I'm sitting with older members. Four, Shauna, and Zeke don't mind so that's all that matters. Eric hasn't been around much because he's Max's top bitch again.

I'm almost 21 now and I try to remember how I felt that night before the Choosing Ceremony and how different I've become now, how different Eric and I were. Tori pulls me out of my thoughts though.

"They're all going to come for ink. I wish I could infect them so they wouldn't come back but I know Lauren wouldn't appreciate that."

"Max is already pissed at you Tori." Aries says and I look at her confused.

"Go on Tori, bring the little Nose in…"

"Max and I had a drunken one night stand and now he's infatuated with me and I'm too afraid to do anything about it because of his position."

Aries and Tori both just continue eating while I pause to figure out what I've been told. Max and Tori sleeping together is one thing, but why would Tori be afraid of him when he seems to be pretty understanding at times? She's Divergent. It's the only reason she's letting him stick around.

I speak lowly, "You're one of us." She nods yes. "But I don't understand…why are you here then."

"Come up to the shop just before closing and I'll talk to you about it okay?"

I nod yes and continue eating. Everyone continues about how they hate the wide eyed transfers that will be interrupting this place yet once again.

"Incoming," Aries suddenly says and I know who's brave enough to interrupt this group.

"Lauren. Aries." He greets us, but not Tori and she rolls her eyes and Aries and I laugh.

"Have you reviewed my instructor procedures for tomorrow?" He sits completely turned to me with his knees pressing into my right thigh. I take a sip of my drink before answering him.

"Yes…" I wanted to challenge him, but this isn't the place to do it without him slamming me into the table and yelling that he's a leader and shit.

"I will be keeping tabs on the Stiff more then you so I hope I can trust that you will handle your Dauntless born initiates well."

"Of course Eric." I say looking him dead in the eyes.

"You need to remember that I saved you from being sent to the infirmary forever and exposed all the shit James did. You didn't earn this spot."

I hear the drops of silverware from Tori and Aries as I punch Eric straight in the jaw. He had no right to say a lie like that to show his authority. I know damn well I earned all of my positions.

We're publicly fighting each other in the dinning hall. This is perhaps the stupidest thing either of us could do, but we don't stop, so much for not challenging him.

It's not like the Dauntless aren't used to random fights but this is me fighting a leader. I hear Max yelling at us to quit it from the balcony. Four and Zeke are trying to pry me away from causing any harm I can to Eric's body as two of his friends try to pull him away from me.

"Lauren! Stop! Let it go!" Aries yells at me as she tries to grab me as well.

I knee Eric in the throat causing him to stop breathing for a moment, as the air got lost in his windpipe. His friends grab him and I still lunge at him.

"You bitch!" he yells and spits blood at me from his cut lip.

"Fuck you!" He knows that he struck a nerve with me.

I let Four and Zeke pull me back as Tori tries to exam my bloody face.

They both wait for what Aries orders them to do with me since I attacked a Dauntless Leader, there's going to be some punishment, or so they think.

"Take her to the infirmary and get her cleaned up." Aries orders Four and Zeke as they practically drag me away. "As for you meet me in my office in 5 minutes or I will kick your ass." All of Dauntless roars because Eric is getting reprimanded for once. Aries made an ass out of him in front of majority of the faction, and after I won that fight.

* * *

"What is this!" Ellen exclaims as I'm brought into the infirmary.

"Hope you two aren't drunk enough to clean me up." I say sarcastically as Four sits me on a bed that Ellen motioned for him to put me on.

"Oh Lauren…this is going to burn." Lance says sarcastically as he applies something to my face.

"What'd she do?" Ellen asks Zeke.

"Attacked Eric because he degraded her. Aries sent her here so I'd best send a report to her."

"Where'd you fight him Laur?"

"The dining hall."

"You idiot!" Lance yells, "He's going to kill you."

"No, I think he's more mad at Aries." Zeke says. Four just sits at watches.

"What did she do?" Ellen asks as she has me fill out my info on the tablet myself.

We explain in depth exactly what happened; as I'm cleaned up with brush burns and scrapes nothing too serious. I surely hope my rough appearance makes the Dauntless-born initiates truly take me serious tomorrow. I walk back to my apartment, Eric's going to be on the other side of the door, but I don't care.

Of course he's sitting on my damn couch, face bloody and all.

"Clean me up." He says. I grab a cloth and toss it at him. I pull out my bottle of whiskey.

"Lauren Dyer you're in so much trouble with me."

He moves quickly as I'm grabbed from behind and tossed over his shoulder effortlessly as he carries me to the bathroom.

He gently puts me on my feet as he sits on the closed toilet seat.

"You made this mess clean it. Now." He says in a deathly tone. As much as I want to challenge him again, we have to get up early tomorrow for the initiates, so I oblige and clean him up.

I walk out of the bathroom as soon as I'm done cleaning the blood off of him I didn't do that much damage, but it still was enough. I go back to my kitchen counter to meet my abandoned bottle of whiskey and pour it down my throat. I feel Eric glaring at me but I don't turn around.

"I cleaned you up so you can leave now Eric."

"Don't you ever pull shit like that again. Aries has me on watch now."

I laugh, she's watching out for me. She probably let my outburst go on for so long so that she'd have a reason to watch Eric.

"Well then you better behave." I say and walk past him in my hallway with my bottle still in hand.

I forgot about meeting Tori and it's almost time for the tattoo shop to close for the night. I change quickly and walk past Eric who is leaning against my kitchen counter with his arms folded across his chest like he owns the damn place.

Before I leave I put my bottle of whiskey back in its place.

"You let yourself in, you can let yourself out. I'll see you tomorrow with the initiates." I slam my door as I exit and make sure to take the longest route possible to Tori so that he can't follow me.

I open the tattoo shop's door to Aries standing there smiling at me.

"He didn't follow you. He went to the gym." She says as she hands me her tablet with a specific window of security on him.

"You let me go that far so you could watch him without any questions?"

"And to see him get his ass kicked by you. Come on Tori's back here."

I walk down the black-lit hallway to Tori's tattooing room.

Tori explains that her brother, George transferred here first. He was in the same initiate class as Aries, which is why Aries and him were close until he fell in love with Amar. Back then they didn't spilt the Dauntless-born and transfers and trained them all together. Aries was Dauntless-born and I have to say she is extremely smart to almost be an elder who is a Divergent and still alive, but then again the technology is better and Jeannie is crueler. Aries knew that George was Divergent and told Amar. It sounded to me like the three of them had a bit of a love triangle going on, but I don't pry. Tori said she remembers me from Erudite when I was little. I never knew or figured it out that her and George transferred from Erudite to Dauntless. I should've though because of the last name, Wu. Her father and mother are also doctors at Erudite.

"George did the dumb thing of bragging how easy his fear landscape was. He made it through initiation even though they knew he was Divergent and made it seem like he committed suicide weeks later. I knew he had found someone to be in a relationship with and I saw him on Visiting Day. He was happy I didn't believe it. It's one of the reasons I decided to transfer here as well, even though I knew my fate could be the same as his. Aries recognized who I was and we've been watching the leaders and what they do with each initiation."

"I was quite concerned when I saw that Eric Coulter was transferring here. I know his parents very well. They would've done anything to keep their precious boy from Dauntless. Jeannie did something to him they would say. I don't know but she took that boy on as her own adopted son." Aries checks the cameras to make sure we are safe before continuing. "Lauren, he was your childhood friend, what do you think?"

How should I answer this? Should I tell them about the boy who got upset when I got the library book he wanted before him? The one that secretly helped me smuggle weapons books? The kid that I never saw his parents around him, even though mine were almost the same way?

"He wasn't as aggressive. He had his moments, but yeah I think he's definitely changed and not for the good here."

"So are you in a relationship with him for the sex?" Tori asks and Aries jaw drops.

"No…like I said he has his moments. There's something but I don't think we will ever get to find out what that something is."

"Before he kills you." I nod at Aries words.

"I tested someone who was Divergent and I changed the results." Tori blurts out.

"Tori!" Aries yells.

"I'm only saying something because I have a bad feeling she'll show up here tomorrow and find me to give her answers, she's oblivious."

"I'm standing by the net with Four, what faction is she from?"

"Abnegation." Tori and Aries share a knowing look.

"What's going on?"

"Abnegation has been under a lot of attack lately from the council. If another member transfers here…it's going to raise more questions."

* * *

Walking back to my apartment after being with Tori and Aries leaves more things unanswered in my head.

I need to focus on training the new initiates tomorrow.

I walk in to Eric sitting on my couch once again. He's disheveled from working out at the gym, though he changed clothes he didn't shower and his face shows it.

I groan and stomp my boots across the floor as I head to my bedroom. I feel him watch me the whole time but he doesn't follow until a couple minutes later.

I'm in a sports bra and leggings when he enters. I just need to shower and lie in bed and let my thoughts consume me as I try to fall asleep, but of course he's not going to let that happen.

"I apologize." He says and I stop dead in my tracks of putting clothes away and look at him like he's lost his mind.

"You heard me and I'm not repeating it. What I said earlier was uncalled for."

I stand before him and cross my arms, as he's dangerous close to me. I can smell the sweat still on his skin mixed with cologne.

"I apparently punched you in the face a little too hard."

"Come on now Lauren, don't be a smart ass." He touches my cheek and stokes it. I don't move.

"You have to get up earlier then me. You should go home and get some rest."

I walk away and grab two clean towels from my closet and set them in the bathroom. Since it doesn't look like he'll be leaving I come out to grab clothes too.

He grabs my arm, "Lauren things are going to change." He's serious.

"How?"

He sighs and looks down, unsure of what to tell me, "I can't tell you. Just know that this last night before all the madness begins I want to be with you." I look at him strangely and he pleads again with me before I give in.

He goes to his apartment to shower and tells me to meet him up there when I'm done. I don't really want to sleep there and do a walk of shame in the morning, but I'm too tired to argue. He's also very adamant about this being one last peaceful night. I know that initiation is rough, but there's something more to it that he isn't telling me.

* * *

 **A/N:** Tris is coming in the next chapter with all that fun! How do we like the story so far? Hate it? Love it? Let me know :)


	20. Chapter 20

**LAUREN'S POV**

Four and I wait at the bottom of the net and it takes forever for someone to jump.

Finally a figure appears and I feel sick at the sight.

A girl in grey, the Abnegation girl who is Divergent is the first jumper. I don't even hear for asking her name until he announces it.

"First jumper, Tris!" Four announces and members who help to welcome the initiates on this day greet her.

I focus on the next girl in white, a Candor. I already pity Four. Eric is going to be all over him with these two transfers already, there's too much speculation in the government system not to question transfers coming here.

I see Cara's brother, Will, hit the net and my heart drops again. Cara and him may never see each other again, and I know how close they were. He's tall and lanky…I don't think he'll make it here.

There are over 30 of them and majority won't make it through. Four and I lead them down the hallway.

"Okay time to split. Dauntless-born obviously don't need a tour so follow me." Four gives me a look as we depart.

"If you don't know who I am, you're an idiot." I say loud enough for all eighteen of them to hear me as we head to the training room.

"Here's an introduction in case you don't know who's who around here. Lauren Dyer. I transferred two years ago from Erudite. I ranked third in my class. I'm a part time initiation instructor." I pause and turn to them as we all gather in the large room. "I'm also an infirmary nurse and I've seen some of you already there. Don't make that a habit. The transfers will need there more then you. If you have any questions ask now."

I leave a couple moments of silence, and no one says anything. They're already trained to wait for orders, almost like a pack of dogs.

"Good. Ten laps. Any slackers and you'll keep going until I say stop. Go!"

I fold my tablet out of my pocket where the names are already entered. There are 33 kids and only 10 will make it. I have the larger group of 18 though.

Dauntless-born start off so soon because they should be in decent shape. For the transfers it's all about settling them in today. Watching my group run I can tell who's going to lead and I mark their names on my tablet; Uriah, Lukas, and Lynn.

They get lunch and then it's off to rock and rope climbing for the rest of the afternoon till dinner.

"Stop! Great job. I'll see you all at 7am tomorrow." They groan as they leave the room.

* * *

I sit with Four, and some of the transfers and then Eric sits next to me.

"Welp, we lost one and they had to scrape her off the pavement." Eric says to me at dinner.

"And dinner is now morbid." I say and Four laughs with me.

We all continue eating as we listen to the awkwardness amongst the initiates.

"Oh Max wants to see you Four. He's requested you twice today and you haven't shown" Eric says as he gets up to leave the table.

"Tell him I'm not interested." Four says and Eric and I look at them confused.

"Okay then Number Boy I'll give him the news." Eric walks away and Four shakes his head.

"Are you and Eric friends?" The Abnegation girl asks. She's already digging her grave.

"We were in the same initiate class." He answers hoping that will satisfy her, but it doesn't.

"We're you a transfer too?" She asks again. She seriously has a death wish.

"First the Candor now you. Stop asking so many damn questions." He spits at her, poor thing.

"It must be because you're so approachable." She says and my mouth drops as Four sips his drink and gets up and leaves.

I can already tell that she's Abnegation, Candor, and Erudite just from one dinner. She has it in for herself. I'm surprised when she doesn't ask me anything but then I remember I have bruises on my face, which probably looks rough and 'unapproachable' to a Stiff.

Before I get asked a million questions I get up and head to the tattoo shop to tell Tori about the girl.

It's filled with initiates since they're all eligible to get tattoos now that they have their own points.

I walk to Tori's room where she's finishing up a girl. The girl leaves and I slam Tori's door shut so no one else can come in.

"She's here isn't she?" She asks me as she cleans up her supplies.

"First jumper, and I already can put her into three factions just from sitting at the same table as her during dinner."

"She's dead. What a waste." She tosses paper in her trashcan as I sit on the now clean seat.

"Oh wait for this, she had the balls to talk to Four!"

Tori takes her gloves off, "Whoa, like actually talk to him?"

"She questioned him and when he got smart with her she goes 'It must be because you're so approachable' who the fuck says that to an instructor when you originate from Abnegation!"

"Well Four isn't very approachable, hm never thought of calling him that myself." We both pause and start laughing.

"He's going to kill her or Eric is since he's 100% assisting Four now."

Someone bangs on the door. "I'm done for the night!" Tori yells and rolls her eyes.

"Do you know why Max wanted Four to meet him today?" I don't know if Max discusses business with her but it's worth a shot.

"Yes…" She continues putting supplies away as I stand up.

"Going to tell me or do I have to ask Four?" She turns to me and looks hesitate, but I know she's going to tell me by the look in her eyes.

"He wanted to recruit him for leadership. He's been trying for two years and Four keeps denying. Max obviously hasn't got the hint that Four doesn't want it."

"What's stopping him from taking it anyway?" She looks at me with wide eyes.

"You seriously don't know? Perhaps it's because Amar told me that it's so transparent to me. I thought he would've told you."

He's Divergent too. I softly say it out loud since Tori is close to me and she nods her head.

Why wouldn't he tell me? I haven't even seen any indicator that he is.

"Yeah, he's good at hiding it." Tori says as if she's read my mind.

I tell Tori I'll see her as I storm off to the poolroom balcony.

* * *

This is my peaceful place. The fresh air is rejuvenating after being underground for so long.

 _"Lauren! What did your teachers inform you about the new stimulation serums?" My mother asks me at the dinner table suddenly, causing me to almost drop my fork._

 _"Mother I am fifteen years old. They did not inform us of much." She looks down disappointed. "Where's father?"_

 _"He's busy at the hospital. Make sure you check in on time for your shift there tomorrow. They do not welcome tardiness." She scolds me in her frigid tone._

 _After we are finished eating I put the dishes into the automatic washer and head to my bedroom. Mother and father are fighting again. Not that they usually show much affection, but this is apparent._

 _I want to punch something, but that's not proper here. So I decide to go to the library._

 _"Where do you think you're going?" My mother asks me as I try to exit our apartment._

 _"I want to study the heart more, my teacher talked about it briefly today and I'd like to enhance my knowledge on it."_

 _"Very well." And with that I leave._

 _I go to the library and pull out the book to go read on the balcony._

 _Eric Coulter is out there and I go to turn back in when he speaks to me._

 _"You can sit out here. I won't be a burden." His face looks puffy, was he crying?_

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _"Yes, of course. Just sit and read your book."_

 _I do such but the way he sits and fidgets in his chair my curiosity cannot let it go._

 _I set my book down and go and sit across from him at the table he is at._

 _"You're upset. Why are you upset? Don't say you are not it is written all over your body language."_

 _He looks up at me, "My parents."_

 _"What about them?"_

 _"I did something. They're worried and disappointed I guess, but they said they should've known. Then they went off to work in the labs._

 _"Parents around here aren't parents." I make that statement because it's true for most Erudite children unless they're young. The parents loose interest once we turn thirteen._

 _"What did yours do to you now?" He asks me. Everyone here knows that my parents are head doctors and that I pretty much don't get along with them._

 _"My father disappeared again, I personally think he's cheating on my mother or married to his work, but we know how he is. I have to work under him tomorrow and he's going to order me around and tell me how wrong I'm doing everything."_

 _He laughs, "Both my parents want me to be under Jeannie. That isn't happening because I'm transferring in 3 years and I told it to their faces tonight. They were understanding, but I know they'll spend the next 3 years trying to convince me otherwise."_

 _"Why wouldn't they just accept it and move on?" That's what my parents would do. If I ever leave here they'd disown me._

 _"The harsh truth Lauren is that my parents actually love me. They saw a life for me here with them. That was always their plan but it was never mine." I want to punch him. "I was supposed to be their legacy. That's not going to happen. Don't worry they'll disown me too one day."_

I pull myself together and back to reality after thinking about Eric's parents and mine. Both of us were only children who defected from their original faction into a new one. My father was always so hard on me. I wonder if they ever suspected I was Divergent, or was I that good at hiding it by always acting like a proper Erudite even up till the Choosing Ceremony.

As if on cue, Eric finds me. He hugs me from behind and buries his face into my neck. I just hold onto his bulky arms.

He pulls his head away, "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing." I lie.

"You always come outside when something is bothering you or you want to escape. Don't think I never realized because I did. You've been here awhile." I turn around in his arms as he places them around my waist.

"You were watching me?"

He gets this smug look on his face, "I mean you're not too bad on the eyes."

I playfully hit him and we kiss.

"Did your parents disown you when you came here?" His eyebrows scrunch in confusion as to where that came from in my brain.

"Timothy and Amy are lab techs who work under Jeannie developing all her potions. They lost their son to another faction and he was a great regret to them." He says unsympathetically looking me straight in the eyes.

"Florence is on the verge of being mental because Alfred has been cheating on her for 5 years and her only daughter betrayed them to be a warrior."

We both let out a laugh at how fucked up our parents are.

"You've kept tabs on yours?" He asks me.

"I knew my father was cheating, my initial hypothesis all those years ago was right. He's not the perfect head doctor of Erudite that he appears to be. Ellen and him communicate for supplies and his assistant tells her everything."

He pulls me into him and we both hold each other.

"I hope I'm never a regret to you Laur." He whispers in my hair and I honestly don't know what to say so I just shake my head no in hopes that it's enough for him.

We walk silently back to my apartment and get ready for bed.

Silence is something that Eric is not, but I don't press him any further as I curl up next to him in bed.

 **ERIC'S POV:**

I wish she knew my fears, but I don't trust her.

I don't trust anyone.

Jeannie is going to start a war and I'm her head bitch. I've got to keep up this act as initiation lead whatever the fuck I am and do her shit. She will kill my parents. Though I'm a disappointment to them, they're the only ones who have ever genuinely loved me and that's saying a lot for being an Erudite kid.

Kids were just a thing that was an experiment to them, the whole miracle of the human body. If an Erudite couple had more then one child they were actually in love or cared for each other.

I don't know how many days I'm going to have Lauren's company. When she finds out or figures out what's going down she's going to leave me.

I'm going to have to make an order to kill a lot of innocent people.

I know hypothetically I should see wrong in it, but I don't. It's apart of my job as a leader and it's for the greater good.

Maybe killing all these people will make this place better for Lauren and I, so much so that we could have a kid of our own and not call it a disappointment.


	21. Chapter 21

"I am so sick of all these damn transfers in here beaten to a pulp!" Ellen yells as more come in from fight training today.

My group is doing pretty well; they get more papers to study then physical things because they should be in good shape. Stage 2 is the fear landscapes where Four takes over so in other words, Eric made my job easy and pretty much gave all the shit to him and, well Four.

Will is brought in and Lance immediately goes to help him as I just sit there staring at the fact that Cara's brother will probably end up dead.

Thankfully it looks like Will is going to be okay.

Next enters the former Candor girl with Tris and another boy.

"Are all three of you hurt?"

"No, her hand needs checked out." Tris says, bravely.

I get up from my seat at the front desk and go up to the former Candor girl.

"Chris let her see your hand." The boy pleads as the girl whose name I guess is 'Chris' looks frightened.

I roll my eyes and grab at her wrist and she hisses. The rest of her doesn't look too good either but none of the transfers are unscathed.

"What happened to her?" I ask Tris specifically.

"Eric hung her over the chasm and made her hold on to the rails for five minutes." She sings like a bird. So Eric is up to his unethical ways, no surprise there.

I press on certain parts of the girl's hand, it's definitely sprained. All I can do is give her a low dose of healing serum.

"Sit on that bed over there and I'll be back." I order the girl and the other two follow.

"Lauren!" I turn around from almost walking to get to the serum when Four is yelling at me looking pissed as all hell.

"What the fuck is going on with your training?" I ask, I know it's Eric but I still need to hear it.

"You know what is," he pauses when he sees Tris and her friends here. "Stiff, you didn't even fight today why the hell are you here?" He asks her in a strange tone.

She looks at him like a scolded child and I want to laugh until I see Four's expression soften. This can't be good.

She answers him and he's even more pissed, but he's lost the authority in his voice.

"I would like a status update on all my initiates in here please." He says openly to Ellen, Lance, and I as he storms back out.

I go and grab the serum for the girl and administer it. I decide to give them a warning, that I mean mostly to Tris.

"Whatever the three of you do, don't tell anyone I told you this, but do not at any cost piss off Eric. You won't survive if you do. Be brave and shut up and take the orders like the soldiers we are training you all to be."

I discharge the girl, who I found her name is Christina, and begin to send reports to Four before leaving here for dinner.

In walks the monster himself and it's seconds before Ellen and him are yelling. Of course she's pissed that so many transfers are in here with severe injuries.

I go to my office and grab my phone before heading off to dinner. I intend to walk right past them but of course that doesn't work.

"Lauren! Wait!" And I stop giving him a death glare.

"Don't look at me like that." He says as he walks towards me, out of the infirmary. Ellen just shakes her head and locks the door so he can't get back in tonight.

He kisses me, which catches me off guard but I kiss him back.

"Come on let's go to dinner."

When entering the dining hall we get stares, mostly because if Eric enters a room people want to know so that they don't get their ass chewed out for doing something they shouldn't be doing.

Eric has me sit with him and Max at the leaders table. He does the unusual thing of rubbing his arm across my lower back as he sits next to me.

I get my food and eat not saying much as Max and Eric talk about things that I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be hearing but they don't care.

"Lauren." Max says to me and I eagerly look up to his face, finally glad that my presence has been made aware of.

"I would like you to know that you're name is at the top of the list for the new head leader of the infirmary." I look at him surprised, as Eric looks proud.

"Sir, thank you but I don't think Ellen will be quitting soon." I stab the carrot with my fork a little shakier then I wanted to. A war is going to break out soon and I'm going to die. I can't worry about running the goddamn infirmary now!

"I know. I just wanted to make you aware that is a leadership position, not like Eric and I's but on the lower level. Ellen is very respected and I know that the same would be for you."

I nod my head as they go back to talking about weapons and shit. Ellen would've told me if she was stepping down, unless…they're thinking about offing her.

I try to divert my attention elsewhere and catch Four staring out at the initiates. First, I think he's just watching in case one passes out from all the fighting, but then I see what he truly is doing.

He looks down and takes a bite of food. Then he looks up straight ahead, and then to the left and right and alternates directions, but he always looks back to the same blonde head of hair, Tris.

He's not just looking; he's concentrating on her. Like he's trying to figure her out. Like he feels for her. He's looking at her like he cares, shit.

I look away and sip the water in my cup. Tris didn't fight today. Four couldn't be authoritative with her, he failed miserably, but the initiates won't see it because they don't know him and will just think he had a hard day. My hypothesis is that Four likes Tris and the results will end badly.

Suddenly, screaming breaks out with chanting. A transfer is picking a fight with Lukas, the top of my class. What an idiot. We shouldn't intervene, and wouldn't if this was a member's fight, but they aren't full members yet so I get up and run to get mine off of the transfer.

Four and I each stand behind our initiates as Eric and Max yells for everyone to shut up and settle down.

I'm looking for an opening this transfer's fighting isn't too bad. I see it and I lunge in to wrap as much of both my arms around Lukas's throat as I can and try to pull him away that way since he's taller then me. I use all my might and can't get him to budge, so I kick out the back of his knees and he falls as Four pulls off his kid effortlessly.

Lukas tries to fight me but he's still in my headlock so he can't see it's me.

"If you try to overthrow me I will personally drag your ass out of this faction." I say in a deadly tone.

He stops and I let him get up. He turns to me apologizes and leaves. He just lost his top spot.

* * *

I'm reading a book on the couch when Eric let's himself into my apartment.

"You're fucking reading Hamlet. Do you know how primal that book is?" He grabs the book from my hand and tosses it to the floor.

"Hey! It's a good book!" He shuts me up by practically sitting on my lap and kissing me. I taste the alcohol on his lips.

He gets off of my lap and sits next to me, but pulls me into his side holding my body ever so carefully.

"You're so sexy when you threaten initiates." He's drunk.

"You need to stop trying to kill them all." I retort. He shifts to look straight at me and I'm greeted with murderous blue eyes.

"Not you on my ass about that too." So I have angry drunk Eric before me. Wonderful.

"I'm the one who has to fix them up or scrape their bodies into the machine that tells the cause of death. Stop fucking with them and start teaching them." That set him off as I'm now pinned to the couch by his hands pushing into my shoulders.

"Don't you fucking tell me how to train my initiates. Yours aren't even being trained half the time."

I try to push him up but its no use, he's too bulky and big to gently remove him from me.

"At least all mine are still alive or didn't defect." I head-butt him, I had no choice and he groans as I move away.

No one gets away that easily from Eric Coulter though. He pins me now up against my hallway wall.

"Quit being defiant to my authority." I roll my eyes at him.

"Please, someone has to keep your ass in line." He stares at me, mouth agape at my retort but he closes it quickly to a murderous expression.

It happens so fast from there.

Both of us are tearing each other's clothes off as we lead to my bed. Hands all over each other unable to control the quenching thirst we suddenly have for each other.

He's fingering me rubbing my clit as I grab to stroke his dick before we both hit the bed.

Once we both crash into my bed, he's pinning my arms above my head and sucking on every part of my neck, chest, and breasts possible.

* * *

"There's a hickey on your neck Lauren." Four says as I'm in his apartment before training starts for the day. I groan and grab the powder out of my bag that magically heals these things. I thought I got them all but apparently not the obvious one.

Four looks at me in disgust because he knows who put that there. It's time to come back at him and ask about Tris.

"Giving any to Tris lately, Four?" He freezes from putting his gun on him.

"Are you insane to accuse me of that?"

"Just because you're a former Stiff…" He stops me, "Lauren. There's nothing going on between Tris and I."

I stand and cross my arms, "But there's something, even if you don't see it yet, I do."

He walks past me and opens his door motioning his hand for me to go first. He tells me to "Let it go" as I pass him, I won't but I agree for now.

* * *

The initiates, both classes, are fighting today against each other, which should be interesting. Four and I head early to pair them up, but Eric is there with the board already completely filled out.

"Eric." I warn as Four just storms off to set his stuff down. He knows he can't do anything about it but I can try. I see that he has Tris, who is below the line, placed with a kid named Peter who's currently number one in Four's class.

Tris is going to get beaten to a pulp. Let's see if Four cares enough now to stop it.

"I'm the neutral person, they should be able to fight by now." Eric says as all the initiates enter

He explains everything and makes Tris and Peter up first with the "brave man never concedes rule" that I personally think he can shove up his ass with all the initiates that are getting hurt because of it.

Four grabs Tris' arm and tells her something before entering the ring. Peter torments her and then they're at it. At first it looks like Tris may pull this off, but then it goes terribly wrong. I look for Four and see a glimpse of him as he exits, Tris does too but not long before Eric nods at Peter to finish her.

I have Uriah help me carry her to the infirmary.

I explain quickly as I tell Ellen that I left Eric alone with the initiates.

I get back to more of them needing to go to the infirmary. I send Lukas and Uriah each time, they aren't fighting today, because I won't let Eric ruin them.

This is how Eric is narrowing down the transfers. Half of them will be gone by tomorrow. As Tris and everyone else who lost badly enough that they had to be carried out of here are already out of the program.

This is good for Tris, to be Factionless and actually get a chance to hide her Divergence. I should go find Four so that he can say goodbye or whatever the hell he needs to say to her, but I don't.

After all the blood shed I go straight to the infirmary without saying anything to Eric. I personally would love to shed his blood today as well, but this isn't the time.

I go to Ellen's office where she's yelling the second she sees me.

"I don't get it! I don't understand why Max is letting Eric do this! These poor kids are going to have irreversible damage! You lost Dauntless born!" She shoves the tablet in front of me with the names of all the initiates. The ones will lines through their names have been cut. It didn't even register to me that I lost some of mine because I was too busy trying to figure out Eric's plan with this.

I lost four people and Four lost seven.

I need to find Four before the prestigious initiation flag game, that my group failed miserably my year.

If Eric figured out that Tris was something to Four. He would take her out just to piss Four off. Just because Four ranked first in our class.

I run to Four's apartment but he's already gone. I call his phone and there's no answer. There's nothing else I can do but go babysit the infirmary and hope by some chance Eric wins that he pride isn't hurt all because of Four.

* * *

"Where's the transfer girl that I brought in here earlier?" I ask Mia.

"She got up and left when no one was in this room."

Fuck.

"Anyone know where she is?"

Mia sits at the front desk. "Zeke checked the cameras for me, she joined the train for the games."

Eric is going to kill her for sure now.

* * *

 **A/N:** _This story is being updated yet (May 18th 2016) and as quickly as I possibly can! I have it planned out mostly till the end. Thank you so much for all the comments! Keep them up and enjoy!_


	22. Chapter 22

The moment I've been waiting for had finally happened.

I feel that he knew and that he tried to soften the blow, but he was terrible at it. In the days leading up to the dismay he was needy, clingy almost and that's not the Eric Coulter we all know.

It was as if a switch had literally been flipped on him. There was only one person who could've caused such a change of heart, Jeannie.

Of course he was bitter after losing the flag game to Four.

Then it was throwing knives where he practically caused half the initiates to quiver in fear that he would stab them if they didn't hit the target.

Then there's where my initiates all came out safe when I trained them and Tris now has a cut on her ear.

Eric ordered Four to throw knives at Tris when she took Al's place…even Eric can see something going on between Tris and Four. He knew what he was doing the second she volunteered to take Al's place; it was a test. Zeke let me watch the camera footage afterwards and I saw everything unfold. Four's good at throwing. He hit her on purpose to end the torture for everyone.

That's how he chose to take his anger out, instead of planning revenge on the forces behind this. I suppose maybe I would be the only one that would plan revenge. Maybe he just would end their sorrows by killing them.

The time had come to confront him. After his skillfulness of avoiding me struck my Erudite curiosity to the point of needing to now wait for him to return to his own apartment as I sit on his couch, in true Eric fashion of entering without being welcomed.

Visiting Day just conceded. He should be mentally tucking all his precious victims, I'm sorry, initiates in for the night and coming back up here to unwind with his whiskey bottle. He hasn't been to my place in three nights, so there's no chance he'll go there first.

I had enough coffee to wait this out all night.

Finally he enters and the war between us breaks loose. Our eyes meet quicker then the explosion and the two words I waited for him to say to my face were spoken.

"Get out." He says monotone, but when I cross my arms and take my stance on the couch, that sets him off. He doesn't like to not be in control of things. I caught him off guard, which is perfect for me to get answers.

"I said get out." It's almost funny because this used to be me telling him to get out of my own apartment.

"Well I'm not moving."

"We aren't anything anymore, so get out!" He yells but instead of attacking me he goes for his alcohol. He can't handle this with out the poison in him.

"And there it is the great Eric Coulter, the Dauntless Leader, has been snatched into the very palm of Jeannie Matthew's hand. I hope it's worth it Eric. Whatever she has you do. I hope you can live with the blood on your hands." I play on every word, almost singing it out like a soft sarcastic lullaby.

I care for Eric, but I won't cross Jeannie to get him on my side, not when I am Divergent. There's nothing I can do now.

Maybe this is the moment I lost it too. How poised he is now downing whiskey straight from the bottle as my words sink in with the alcohol.

"We should've never believed this was anything more then an Erudite crush that carried over into this world. Leave before I make you." He finally takes a breath from the bottle to utter that bullshit to me.

I get up from my post on the couch and head directly in front of him. His head tilts slightly in confusion as to what the hell I'm about to do.

I place my hands on his broad chest and curl them up around his tattooed neck.

I look straight into his blue glassy eyes. This is the only time that will ever be appropriate to ask this.

"Tell me, if she demands you to point a gun at my head and pull the trigger, would you do it? Would you live with my blood on your hands Eric Coulter?" It came out so soft, so casual, almost a whisper but still strong worded.

He's stone that doesn't move doesn't react, but I know a former Erudite better then that. He's calculating what his response should be. Should it be words? Should it be physical?

"If you don't get the fuck off me and leave she won't have to ever have to ask me to pull the damn trigger!" He screams, but the words don't mesh with his eyes, they aren't sincere. He doesn't push me off of him either.

"Then do it, because we both know that one day that is what it will come down to. My life or yours."

He pushes me now. "Stop trying to fuck with my head! Get out Dyer!"

I don't need to fight him. He doesn't need that added stress from me so I take the physical push as my time to leave.

* * *

"Come with me now." Aries says erratically to me the day after I confronted Eric.

I just finished checking on everyone in the infirmary and look at her like she's mental.

"Follow me to my office."

She slams the door shut and uses her tablet to disarm the cameras.

"He's watching you." She says seriously.

"Aries, I'm fine." She slams her fist on the table.

"Ah you idiot blinded by love girl! Don't you see? The devil has him! You shouldn't go back to your apartment"

"One I don't feel for him like that. Two if he wanted to watch me he wouldn't have broken up with me. Three if I don't go back that's suspicious enough." I'm ready to ignore her as I type up reports on my laptop when she slams it shut.

"They're actively seeking any Divergents. They're starting off with anyone who ranked high in initiation. Jeannie personally signed Eric up to watch you. They installed cameras in your place today, Max and Eric stood there and oversaw it as you were here. He has members watching you that were promised to be safe when the war breaks out. Cause oh honey, is there ever a war coming."

Her concern reaches me. One thing I've learned is that not much scares Aries, but I see it in her body language.

"If I don't go back there they'll know that I know. Plus what the fuck do they think I do? Talk out loud to myself about what I am?"

Her phone goes off and we both look at each other in alarm when she greets the voice with 'Max.' She hangs up finally after a minute.

"He has a detailed order to give me. They're giving me someone to watch. I have to go. Please be careful."

I nod as she turns the cameras back on and leaves.

* * *

Just when I'm about to leave, all hell breaks loose. This is Dauntless so what more do I expect?

Four and Eric are carrying in a transfer with something lodged in his eyeball, lovely.

I'm the only one here since Lance and Mia went out to get food.

"What the fuck is this?" I yell over the boy's screams of agony.

"What does it look like? Shut him up for god's sake!" Eric yells and I roll my eyes and look at Four.

"Transfers were asleep and woke up to him screaming with this in his eye."

I order them to take him to a certain bed as I dash to get serums for the boy.

There's no serum for him to get his eye back, I can already tell too much damage has been done. Four and Eric are holding him down by his arms but that's not going to help me administer serums fast enough.

I jump up onto the bed and sit on the boy's chest. My weight constricts his arms enough as I order Eric and Four to hold his legs.

What I'm about to do isn't practical but it's the fastest solution. I inject numbing serum straight into his eye, by far one of the grossest things I've done. Next I shoot him up with pain relievers. Then it's time to prepare to remove this thing out of his eyeball with him still being half awake and crying.

"What the fuck!" I hear Lance yell.

"Get Ellen!" I yell and he mistakenly comes to see the sight.

"Oh god. Is there anyone with the initiates?" Good to see Lance thinks they aren't safe with each other since one of them stooped this low.

"No" Four and Eric say at the same time.

It's time to give orders and follow protocol since I can see the two men before me are shaken up at this sight. They won't be any help to the initiates.

"Call James in too, Lance, he's the one to handle this." I'm kind of waiting for the boy to settle so I can do this, but with it being an eye injury he's not going to. Ellen needs to come do this shit.

There's no time to waste though. I instruct Four and Eric to hold him as best as they can and I pull out the object from his eye that is bleeding terribly now. Lance comes running in moments later with Ellen and Max and I yell to Ellen to start getting blood to give the boy as Max tears at Eric and Four.

"What on earth is all this now? I've had more complaints then anything this year for our initiation procedures. What the fuck is this now? Seriously tell me! Lauren's class hasn't had any issues then there's your transfer class that two of you are responsible for!" Max said something positive about me, I'll take the compliment but I need to focus on the boy.

The boy is out and heavily sedated as Ellen tries to save his eye. She does gross things with the socket that Lance and I just stare in horror. We've both never seen anything like this before. This is beneath anyone to do in Dauntless and is a sign of cowardliness. She confirms that he's blind and won't be fit for Dauntless.

Four tells me he was ranked number one, and that this was probably sabotage by another initiate but they don't know whom, so whoever it was gets away with it. Four is upset, because of course he feels like he owes the boy more then this, but he can't do anything about it so he brushes it off.

I feel Eric glance at me before storming off to probably get even more intoxicated.

Max wants me to take over the training tomorrow and just combined the two groups so that Four can prepare for stage two. And after tonight's event I think Max trusts me with the initiates now more then anything. Though this is just another way to probably watch me.

* * *

By morning, the boy Edward doesn't go to factionless alone, but his girlfriend, Myra joins him.

Now we are down to seven transfer initiates.

I worry about all of them as I see how different they are now that they see how sabotage is in play.

Tris of course looks for Four and I wish she was coy about her actions towards my best friend.

I watch them all run and then climb the rock wall, as I'm a little too consumed with my thoughts.

I stayed with Four last night after I showered in my apartment and he showered in his. It was late but we talked for a while and I accidentally fell asleep there.

I bet Eric thinks we did more then talked or that I was off with some other person. I'm good at avoiding the hallway cameras, so I wonder if he even saw me.

Four needed a friend last night. That's all I can say.

I noticed this Peter kid is a complete ass. Four also told me that he probably stabbed Edward, but we have no proof so once again we can't do anything about it. I believe him with how smug Peter is acting this morning. I'm waiting for him to question my authority.

"Alright! Uriah and Peter take the ring." Let's see how he compares to my initiates.

Of course he doesn't fight fair. Eric grilled the whole "a brave man never concedes" rule into their heads even though it's bullshit.

Uriah being Dauntless-born knows his way around a fight. He even laughs a couple times at Peter, which pisses him off.

This kid flinches more then he punches. I decide to call the fight with Uriah winning and here comes Peter's argument.

"No one conceded!" He yells at me.

"I never said that was the rule today. It's almost the end of stage one and you're flinching more then you're fighting. Your stance is terrible and you try to psych out your opponents. I personally don't think you're fighting skills are up to par at all." I say like a pretty causal list.

"You don't know how to fight like a man." What a pompous fucking prick.

I kick my boots off so quickly that I don't think he has time to think about what's coming.

"Brave man doesn't concede for this fight? Yeah? Since that is how you like to play." He says nothing to me. "Let's let your fellow initiates call it." I look to them and they all nod with wide eyes as to what's about to happen.

The dumbass flinches as his first move, even when I just called him out on it, so I fight like a true Dauntless and go for the punch straight to his throat. He coughs and bounces back but I go at him again. This time for his stomach and he tries to punch me in the head and misses. He tries to kick me out and I want to laugh. So flinching, punching for the head, and kicking is how he fights. I hope he realizes this is what young Dauntless do when they're playing.

I let him knock me out and I hear the gasps from the initiates. They don't think I can rebound from this but that's what I need to show them. I wasn't a strong fighter until Amar helped me, now I'm all these kids have for today.

I'm on my back on the mat protecting my face as Peter lunges down at me. He isn't prepared for me to kick my legs out to push him off from falling on me. I stand up as he does and fall forward to push myself off the ground one handed as I wrap my legs around Peter's throat to bring him crashing down with me. He doesn't know what to do because I knocked the wind out of him. He's lying face down and I get up and press my foot into his neck.

"If I put enough pressure here," I slightly push for emphasis and to show Peter that I just kicked his ass, "I could do major damage to your spine." I walk away from him and I see Eric watching me in the corner.

"Get up Peter!" I yell almost sounding like Eric. "The longer you stay down the more points you loose. You already disrespected my authority and then lost two fights. That's going to hurt your ranking!"

* * *

"Uriah said you showed that Peter kid who's boss," Zeke says at dinner and I laugh as Four looks at me strangely.

"We know he did it. That was the worst karma I could serve to him." I simply say and continue eating my food.

"Eye stabbing initiates are always fun." Zeke says and Shauna punches him.

"Lauren stabbed a needle into the kid's poor eyeball." Four adds.

"Ew gross!" Zeke yells.

"At least she tried to help him. Four and Eric were no use." Shauna says sarcastically and Zeke and I laugh at Four's facial expression.

I look straight up to James, that's who Eric has watching me today and I smile at him and he walks away. That's probably the most obvious person Eric has chosen. He watched my class today from afar but didn't disturb it. I had no injuries that required the infirmary today either.

"Has the infirmary ever even seen anything like that?" Zeke asks me bringing me out of my thoughts, per usual.

"Lance hadn't and he's been there for ten years. Ellen said it topped the list and was rare for us to see something like that."

"I bet that image is going to be stuck with you for awhile." Shauna says concerned.

"There will always be worst things. I got to go see you guys later!" I don't have to go anywhere but I quickly get up.

If I just get back to my apartment I'll feel better, but then I remember that there are cameras there. I just feel like a weight is pressing down on me.

The next best idea is to go and see if Tori is at the bar with Aries, which is what they usually do this time of night when Tori doesn't work at the tattoo shop.

They are there and I immediately sit down as the slide the bottle across the table to me and I graciously take it and pour as much as I can down my throat.

"It's not even stage two yet and poor little Lauren Dyer is about done for." Aries makes the statement that's actually true; I just didn't realize it till now.

"At least the infirmary may not be so bad then?" Tori says optimistically.

I take another swig, "No, we have to worry about them now when they should be sleeping."

We hear obnoxious laughs from the back room as we all roll our eyes. That's the leaders longue and I hear that Eric is there by his laugh.

"Is that over between the two of you?"

I groan and Aries answers for me, "Yes courtesy of the she devil controlling him."

She just said that in public where the cameras can hear. Tori and I look at her alarmed.

"I'm drunk, you're drunks too. Quit fucking looking at me like that." We all laugh because it's true.

I see Eric exit the room himself. For once I'm watching him without him seeing me. He disappears eventually though. He never saw me and I take satisfaction in that as both ladies before me shake their heads.

* * *

"Laurs! Wait up!" Someone yells as I'm about to drunkenly walk over the chasm back to the initiates' dorms to check on them before going home.

"James!" I say as he approaches me now.

"Why are you drunk and walking over this yourself?"

"I must check on the children, so you know no one is plotting who to stab tonight." I say sarcastically as I walk so that he can't catch up to me.

They're all out asleep thankfully.

James wants to walk me to my door so I figure why not. Bad thoughts cloud my mind and I know it's because of the alcohol.

Am I about to hook up with one of Eric's actual friends?


	23. Chapter 23

Since Eric had known that James and I slept together, he made his life a living hell, but that didn't stop us from sleeping together twice more.

Sex isn't a big deal here it's a pretty causal activity, if Eric has a problem that's his problem. I shouldn't be overanalyzing this anyway. Eric cares about no one but himself.

Ellen slams her fist on my desk and I jump. My thoughts seem to take me places a lot and today is no different. She just shakes her head at me as I look apologetically.

Since it's been stage two now Four has taken over with the help of James. Of course James is only there so Eric knows where he is at all times.

I'm back to being in the infirmary until I'm needed. There's been no more initiates stabbing each other, which is a relief.

I keep getting lost in trying to calculate Eric and what he's up to. Aries said I probably wouldn't figure it out without seeing Jeannie's end of things. If I had friends at Erudite I would go there to observe, but seeing as I defected from there to here, I'm not welcome. I'd also probably be walking into a death trap. I'm sure Jeannie has that device ready to go now and would use it on me the second I walked into that obnoxiously white building just for fun.

Tonight Aries, Tori, and I are all getting tattoos. We're quite the pack now. So we are getting a symbol that Tori drew up just for us to put behind our ears.

Ellen tells me that there are initiates in here needing calming serum, again. They should deal with it without anything, but if it's that bad we can't have them off themselves, so it's our responsibility to give them something.

I administer the serum to two people and they leave. Ellen and Lance left to go grab dinner quickly. I don't mind because Tori, Aries, and I will be having our own dinner, if that's what one calls drinking.

Just as I'm cleaning up the syringes and gauze, Eric walks in. Now what does he want?

There are 5 patients and me that are here. I'm the only one that's coherent enough to fight; this is going to go well.

At first he ignores me and goes down the hall to the offices, presumably looking for Ellen, but returns when she's obviously not there.

"Dyer, where's the rest of the staff here?" He says to me in his stone cold voice.

"At dinner, is there a problem?" I throw the stuff away with my gloves and walk to the sink to wash my hands and he follows.

"Yes, you're understaffed." I want to laugh but instead I look at him with a confused look. He stands tall with his arms crossed and muscles flexing, trying to intimidate me.

"Eric, this place has always been understaffed. Don't you have anything better to do then to tell me the obvious?" I shouldn't have said that last part. I regret it immediately as I see the look he gives me, the signature Eric death glare.

"Tell Ellen she needs to call me immediately for a meeting tomorrow about this place." He doesn't give me a chance to answer as he storms off.

* * *

"Ahhh Lauren did you see what was published today about Abnegation?" Tori says as I walk into her tattoo room.

I shake my head no and steal the bottle that Aries is sipping from as I walk past her.

"They're abusers apparently. They're questioning if that's why the Prior children left." She finishes.

Well that is why Four left, I think to myself. Maybe he wasn't the only one in that faction.

Aries has a look on her face and I ask her what she knows.

"Cameras are disabled in this whole shop. So luckily I can tell you. Word is that they're planning on attacking Abnegation, that's why Erudite is publishing all this shit about them." Tori puts the tattoo pad behind her ear as the sound of the machine hums in the room.

"How the fuck are they going to take down a whole faction though?" Tori asks and I wonder the same thing.

"Four showed me." I choke on my alcohol and Aries continues.

"Lauren…you're so dumb at times for being former Erudite. Of course he's one of us. Anyway he can see what they're doing from a doorway off his balcony. They have some kind of serum here."

I sit not saying anything as I absorb it. We are all quiet as Tori cleans up Aries freshly inked skin.

What serum would they need to make…oh my god. My mother once told me at dinner one-day they wanted to develop a serum that could control people. Had they actually done it? Jeannie would've approved it the second she heard about it. That means…the Dauntless are going to get injected with it. They're going to make it seem like we started the war?

There's control serum existing.

"We lost her. Her poor Erudite brain hasn't been this active in years." I hear Aries say and I chuck a paper roll at her.

"What do you know kid? What did I rattle in that brain of yours?" Aries asks now as they both look at me in partial fear.

"It's some sort of serum that can control people. It has to be."

"They're going to go after Abnegation, the defenseless Abnegation, oh my god." We all sit and realize that this is a possibility.

They ask me if Eric told me anything or I saw anything of his. The only thing is what he showed me a year ago. That was probably when Jeannie was seeing if she could store the serum here.

We're all tattooed up and I'm about to head to my camera infested apartment when Four calls me. He doesn't say much but that I need to come there to his apartment now.

* * *

"Of course Peter was involved. Why the fuck don't you do something about it Four?" Tris got attacked and Four's first instinct was to bring her to his apartment. He totally cares for her.

"Eric. You know this Lauren. Is she okay?" I glance at the disheveled Tris in front of me.

"Yeah just get me something to clean her hands up with." He turns away and when I go to grab it from him to clean her up he doesn't let me and does it instead. I would pass this off as a former Abnegation helping another former Abnegation, but that's not what it is. He wanted to take care of her, so I let him.

He finishes up and sits next to Tris on his bed. "We need to tell you something Lauren."

"You're both Divergent." I answer for them there's no point in dragging it out. Tris looks at me like I'm about to kill her. I laugh and grab one of Four's chair to pull closer to sit near them.

"How did you…" I cut Four off.

"Tris has been on the radar since day one. Especially when at dinner she had the traits of three factions. Then you I just found out about. Thought we were better friends then that Four?"

He groans at me. "You're one too aren't you?"

"Is that a question or a statement? Be careful what you accuse me of." Ugh I sound like Eric.

"She's flying through her simulations." He says.

"Well then she needs to act like a Dauntless in all of them and take her time." It's like Tris isn't even here and she's been belittled from the conversation. He's upset about this. He's upset that she's in danger.

"You're keeping her here tonight aren't you?" I just need the confirmation.

"I don't need her getting stabbed in her sleep. I'd let her sleep at your place because that would be more appropriate but it's wired." I look at him in shock. How does he know?

As if he read my brain he answers that he watched Eric and Max tell someone in surveillance what they had done.

"Do you even think I want to stay there?"

"Then don't." He says as Tris lies down and he covers her up with blankets as we walk to his door. This is obviously how to kick me out. Blanket your Divergent crush who got beat up tonight, but kick me out to be watched as I sleep in my own bed. I pretty much look at Four with a look that explains exactly that last sentence in my mind. He just says that he knows and he'll talk to me more tomorrow.

I leave and start heading down the hall to my door when an idea pops in my head.

* * *

"Why didn't you let me stay in your fucking three bedroom apartment before!" I yell at Aries as she lets me in to my bedroom for the night.

"Oh shut up! Take the damn bed and go to sleep!" I laugh and she scowls at me.

"Thank you." I say sincerely and she smiles before shutting the door.

* * *

" _You didn't tell me you were Divergent! I shared a bed with a traitor!" He yells at me towering above me as I'm bleeding all over the ground. I tilt my head back to get a look at my surroundings. There are grey buildings with Dauntless storming them and killing people. How did I let myself get here? Eric is about to kill me._

 _"I always knew you'd be the one to take my life Eric." With that he points the gun at my head and it's over._

I practically jolt up in bed and realize I'm not at my place and get scared for a second, until I realize Aries took me in last night. I rub my hands over my face and decide to check my phone. There are urgent alerts for me and Ellen is calling me.

"Hello?" I answer still in a sleepy voice.

"Get to the chasm now. We've had a suicide of a transfer." She hangs up and my heart breaks at another transfer gone.

* * *

There's a huge crowd at the chasm as I see Eric watching over the men who have a rope to pull the body out. I realize it's 7am and most of the initiates are up for breakfast already as well as most of the faction.

Lance is there and motions for them to let me through. I push through the crowd and see the boy's body close to coming to the top. It's an obvious suicide but we still have to determine the true cause of death. I look to see the crowd and see that Tris and her friend Christina stand there. They both cover their mouths when the boy's body is pulled onto the rock in front of me. It must be one of their friends.

Lance orders the guys to carry the body to the infirmary since it isn't too far from here. The funeral will be soon and Eric will have to say some bullshit about how he was too strong for this world. I can't even bare to go. I lead and Eric just stares at me. I wonder how the bags look under my eyes since I didn't have a chance to put on makeup. That's the least of his worries though. He doesn't know where I went last night because Aries got pissed and disabled lots of cameras.

* * *

My nightmares caused grave damage to my quality of sleep and I'm ready to fall over on this front desk in exhaustion.

The doors swing open and Four stands there looking pissed. "Come with me now."

I tell him that I'm working and can't just get up and go. Lance tells me to leave though.

Four's quiet and I realize where we are headed, Aries apartment.

Once we are inside we head to another bedroom, which is actually an office. There are monitors lining the walls of surveillance as Aries sits there not even reacting to the fact that we are there.

I'm about to ask what this is when I see Eric walking down the hallway of Four's and I's apartment level.

He punches a code and enters my place. The cameras flip to him on the inside where James is there. What the fuck?

"She hasn't been here." James says.

"I can see that. Where the fuck is she staying?" Eric says as they now walk to my bedroom.

They open drawers and look through my things. I feel so violated.

"She's just got a ton of books around, mostly medical and fight training though." James says.

"She's not Divergent. That doesn't make her Divergent. If you would've put the serum in her instead of your dick we wouldn't have this problem!"

I want to melt into the ground, but not when I realize they tried to put a controlling device in me.

"Aries." I say in attempts to stop watching this madness.

"Wait for it." Just as she says that Max and another high leader enter. Max starts yelling that they've both lost their minds and that all cameras need to be out of my place in an hour.

"What the fuck just happened?" I ask.

"They've moved on from you. With a little push from me. Plus they were starting to look mental." I look at Aries at Four stands their stoic. "Tori and I went in there this morning to check on you, even though we knew you wouldn't be there. My tablet notified me that it was a heavily secured area. I filed an inquiry with Max and knowing that would take long, Tori brought it up to him at lunch. You're welcome kiddo. You're safe, for now."

I don't even know how to react. She just smiles at me as her and Four talk.

"Al attacked Tris. She's upset. She thinks they're going to kill her next." I hear him say. I didn't know that he was this close with Aries, because frankly his not very open to many people, but she did know he was Divergent.

"The war is still coming though and none of us are safe. I can only watch these screens for so long when I have to make my leave." She says seriously.

"You're going to defect before the war breaks out aren't you?" I ask.

"Yes. I can stand to murder innocent people when I won't be aware of it. Maybe there will be something out there that will let me live beyond 47 years. This world we live in isn't right."


	24. Chapter 24

**So James…he's kind of all over the place which is why that's how his character has been portrayed. He was almost chosen for the Dauntless Leader position until Eric showed up and Jeannie pretty much made him have it instead of James. So James is high up in the faction since he was almost made a leader. They don't know where to put him so they make him go wherever needed. James can't say no or he will be factionless.**

 **Thank you guys so much for all the support for this story so far! I have it planned out mostly till the end :D**

* * *

Sleeping in my own bed knowing that I wasn't being watched was an utter relief.

I stretch consuming most of my bed with my giant dark grey comforter over me. Part of me aches for the warm spot the used to occupy the other side of my bed. I know the only thing that will ever be there is a cold spot, or the spot that I could have men temporarily occupy. Sighing, I get up and get ready to face another day in this stone cold place.

I requested my door code be changed and not to let any leaders have it unless necessary and that was granted by Max. Thankfully I won't have him or Eric just waltz up in here.

Though, I actually feel safe for once and I don't want to risk it by leaving this apartment. I have absolutely no food though and will starve myself, but Ellen will kill me if I pass out because of that.

I sit with Mia and Shauna at breakfast, which is a nice change to be with women my own age. They talk about boys and that's the last thing I want to hear, but I'm supportive to anything they ask me.

Mostly I zone out and take in my surroundings as I eat. Most of the initiates are thinning out now to go to the fear stimulations. All that's left here are people who work at night or don't have set schedules, and some leaders linger.

Come to think of it, this is quite normal for Dauntless. It maybe selfish of me but I want to take in it's normalcy before the war breaks out.

I sip my second cup of coffee down and make small talk with the girls. They depart and I'm left there alone. I'm determined to have a third cup and procrastinate so I just sit here.

I wish this could be my normal life forever, but that won't be.

I read the news on my phone lost in it completely as I see more allegations being made against Abnegation.

Someone sits down on the opposite side of the table but not across from me so I ignore them and keep reading.

Why the fuck is everyone believing Erudite so easily? If they only knew what went on in that place. The only reason they have the job of the news is because they feel they're intellectual enough to make such a correspondence and it pisses me off. If anything Candor should have it because everything they post would be true!

I finish my third cup of coffee and debate on a fourth when I realize it's Eric sitting there pretty much staring at me until he realizes that I'm done pressing my nose to my phone. He doesn't say anything. I decide to not even look his way or act like he's there and just ignore him. I would do the same if it were someone else in this faction I didn't know.

I grab a napkin get up and grab the last croissant in the basket that's sitting in front of him. That's his favorite and I do it out of spite. I want him to slam his fist on the table like a child but he doesn't. I walk away safely and take a bite out of the croissant for added effect.

I don't go into the infirmary until late tonight so I head to check up on the initiates.

They're all sitting on the benches outside the room like they're about to puke, which is honestly the typical feeling for this. James is there and greets me.

"They're getting better, well some of them at least." He says and I just nod my head.

Four walks out and says hello to me. I ask him if I can watch for a little and he agrees. He gets where I'm going with this as he calls Tris in next.

She has six fears only and finishes in a minute. Since we have the time to bank on, I decide there is only one way to help her. I hook Four and her up to her landscape and they both go in together as he assists her in what to do like a Dauntless would.

They didn't object when I asked at all. I laugh when Four is trapped in a water tank with Tris. He knows it's not real but it still feels real. He's fine until the water fills the entire thing, he told her what to do and she did it fast enough saving him from embarrassing himself in front of this girl.

They both come to and Tris improves her time to 5 minutes, because she actually thought like a Dauntless instead of just listening to her instincts.

I leave with Tris by offering to walk her back to the dorms. She says nothing to me but 'thank you' as I leave her.

* * *

Tori's apartment is…well one big fucking mess. Art is everywhere and of course many books since she was former Erudite as well. We never loose that love for books.

She clears space off for us to sit and I can tell this is serious.

"I can't leave but you should." She starts off. "Max will hunt for me. When this war breaks will all maybe dead Lauren. I think you should leave with Aries. Both of you together would be safer to get out of this place."

"I think two of us walking out would be more suspicious."

"Oh of course it's not just a walkout. Aries has a bigger plan then that."

"And she told you?" I wonder.

"Some of it. You would be better off leaving before the war breaks out Laur. You're so young and don't deserve to die just because of what we are."

"What about yourself Tori?" She can't possibly think this is a good idea.

"I'm 42 I've lived. You haven't lived, not the way you should at least. I came here for revenge for my brother. I will get it, but you shouldn't be here longer then you have to be."

"Eric will look for me Tor. He's going to be just like Max and not let me go."

"Aries is planning on leaving a note saying 'I was Divergent you fuckers.' I'm sure she could sign your name to that too and he won't come looking for you."

We laugh at what Aries wants to leave behind, but the truth is I think Eric would hunt for me even more just to kill me. There's no clean get away for me and I tell Tori that. I appreciate her concern, but no matter what I do I'm fucked. This is a lose lose situation. I'm too valuable for them to let go that easily and Aries is old to them so they won't care.

Aries may not even make it out. She may end up dead and there goes everything.

I can't coward out yet. I just won't do it.

* * *

The coffee keeps me up, as it's quiet as fuck in this infirmary. Lance passed out on a bed an hour ago and I let him be.

The dispatch phone goes off. Fuck. This won't be good.

Lance and I both jump up and I reach it first.

Five men injured, one Dauntless leader, ETA three minutes.

We scramble to get everything situated and what we possibly could need out and ready. Lance calls Mia in and she comes running in with the injured men that are brought in by guards.

"Place everyone but the leader on a regular bed here and take the leader to the private room." I order the men. I don't know who the leader is yet but I hope it's not Eric. Injured, ignoring me, arrogant Eric is not on my list of people to deal with tonight.

I find sick relief when I see that it's Max with a gunshot wound to his abdomen. This will be easy to fix and he'll live. I have to fix it though and that will be the challenge.

He wants no sedatives and tells me to just numb it a little and as long as its not causing major damage to pull it. I take the appropriate scans first and confirm that it will be an easy removal. That's when Max starts to talk to me.

"You're already doing a tremendous job of stepping up here. Not that I doubted you."

I don't say anything and focus on the task at hand.

"You know her time is almost up don't you?" What does he mean?

"No sir I don't."

He chuckles, "Of course she wouldn't tell any of her staff. I didn't tell you this. She's started to take small doses of the death serum."

Of course we have a death serum. I stop and look up at him. She's killing herself and I'm going to run this place, that's practically what he's telling me. Well I won't run it for long…

"Don't worry Lauren. Everything will be sorted by the time you need to step up."

I fix him up and discharge him as he goes to see the status of his other men and I jump in to attend to them.

Max was going to Erudite to see the witch, sorry to see Jeannie. His guards and him got ambushed by the factionless. Wonder if they know there will be a war? I wonder even more what they know? More? Less?

* * *

Four and I spar the next day, which was quite the terrible idea, as I still can't beat him.

I even try what Amar taught me on him but it's no use, of course Amar taught him too counteracts and all.

"What the fuck!" I yell as he pins me once again and smiles as he helps me up.

There are initiates around that watch our banter as they're supposed to be working out.

"Sorry a Nose will never beat me." Four says as he wipes the sweat off his forehead.

"We shall see about that Stiff." I say as we both smile and walk away heading to the showers.

The women's showers off of the training room and gyms are technically only for the women leaders but since I'm a woman initiate trainer they let me have the code.

It's eerily quiet, even though it always is because there isn't many female leaders, I let my paranoia get to me by having my knife in my shower bag in the stall with me just in case.

I'm almost done when I hear someone come in. Do I want to be vulnerable by being naked and continue showering or should I stop and get dressed?

I keep showering, letting the hot water pour on me when hands are laced around my waist and I jump and turn, meeting him face to face.

He's clothed.

He grabs at my throat and pushes me up into the side of the stall.

"Are you Divergent?"

"Are you insane?" I retort. I need to keep him talking.

"Erudite took you cause they knew didn't they?"

"It's just because Jeannie is insane. You should know this." He's fed up and he throws me but I catch myself and punch him in the throat and then the stomach but he doesn't let up. I knee him in the balls and he's down long enough for me to quickly grab my knife without him seeing it.

Once he recovers I know that I have no choice.

I stab him once, twice, and keep going till he stops moving.

What the fuck have I done?


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks for all the support with this story! I have a tumblr if anyone wants to ask me stuff on there on anon about the story :)**

* * *

I sit naked with my knife in my hand yet at the sight before me. Water and blood cover me and the sight before me paralyzes me.

The assailant has taken his last breaths. I watched the life go out of him. There was no saving him, not with all the wounds I inflicted. His blood seeps out all over the grey wet tile beneath him.

I can't move. I'm probably in shock. I've never killed before.

I don't know how long it's been before I hear footsteps and the shouting of my name. When I don't answer the stall is pulled open to this cruel sight.

Towels are wrapped around me. This was a violent act. They called for back up.

They're going to kick me out or kill me. Whatever the punishment is for this I won't survive it. I'm nauseous enough.

Lance sets me down and I only know it's him who removed me from the sight because he pulls my head to look at him and he starts examining me.

"Aries, there's signs of struggle all over her. Enlarged pupils, her breathing is a little rapid, I'd say she's in shock." He says.

"Well she surely stabbed him enough." She says smartly. I wonder if I've reached the point of no return.

I just keep hearing everything but I don't react.

"Max…" Ellen says in a warning tone.

"What on earth is this!?" He's shouting at the sight of the body.

" _She_ did this?" It's _him_. He's here.

"Is she talking?" Max sounds less pissed.

"He attacked her." Aries says now, trying to get it through that this wasn't just a murder.

"What a sick bastard." A voice says that I don't recognize.

"Get through to her I don't care about your conflicts!" That's a bad idea Aries.

And _he_ is coming forward on orders and practically pushing Lance out of the way when he catches a glimpse of me. I don't want him to see me like this, so weak and so vulnerable. I don't want any of them to see me like this but I can't bring myself out of it. I'm weak. He stands before me.

"Hey Laurs. I need you to tell me what happened?" He asks me softly but still in a leader voice as Max and Aries stand near.

I can't form the words and tears run down my cheeks. Fuck. He is kneeling down in front of me, he moves his hand as to touch me, he stops but then he's reaching towards me.

Then he's cupping my presumably bloody face, "She's shivering, get her more blankets." He orders without looking away from me. "Breath Lauren." That's what brings me back realizing that I haven't been breathing right.

"He attacked me." I say with a long overdue normal breath.

Eric looks to Max and Aries. I realize now that Lance is at my side rubbing circles on my back trying to keep me warm.

They all wait for me to continue. I realize that the words come out again, so I go for it. I need to be strong.

"He tried to kill me by choking me and…I had a knife." I say and Max and Eric look to Lance.

"She has bruising around her neck." There are too many blankets on me so he had to confirm it.

"Did he say why Lauren?" Max asks now as Eric still kneels in front of me.

 _Yeah, because I was Divergent,_ but I can't say that, it will only make their suspicions grow so I tell them no.

* * *

Aries and Tori help clean me up at my apartment as I ramble on about how un-Dauntless I was tonight. I stabbed James fifteen times, which according to them makes me very Dauntless because I defended myself. It could've been me dead tonight and not him.

They give me a minute to change and I mistakenly look at my naked body in the mirror of my bathroom. There are marks around my neck in the shape of hands, along with bruises covering my torso, back and arms. I will be administering some healing serum to clear this up tomorrow at the infirmary.

I walk out to my bedroom dressed when Tori sits on my bed as I hear Aries arguing with someone in my living area. I raise my eyebrow at Tori.

"Don't do it."

"What?"

Then I hear his voice; it's Eric wanting to check on me and I give Tori a look of panic.

"He's an idiot. If you want to see him okay, but neither Aries or I are leaving." She finishes her sentence as Eric practically barges through my bedroom door stopping when he sees my bruised form now. I have a tank top on and sweats. The tank top doesn't cover up much of the bruises. Tori is smart enough to walk out of the room as Aries yells not to shut the door and that Eric has 20 minutes and he has to leave.

Eric and I stand awkwardly before he closes the space between us and gently brings me into a hug. I wasn't expecting this so I don't know how to react first, but I eventually bring my arms around his waist. He presses me gently into him as my head is to the side fitting perfectly under his chin. One of his arms is holding me around my ribs while the other is softly placed in my hair to bring me close. We say nothing and stand like that for what seems like hours until he pulls away.

He's back in his stance with his arms tucked behind him. He stands all clad in his black Dauntless jacket, with the tattoos poking out on his neck. His face is stern and I can't tell what he's thinking. I don't know where the sudden need for him to check on my well being came from, but it's nice to see that human caring Eric still exists – well to me at least.

"We aren't punishing you. It was self-defense, you injuries confirm that and you are a respected member of this faction for us to not trust you. Therefore, this will be kept out of the news and his body has already been tossed away like the trash he was."

"He was your friend, Eric."

"I don't have friends Lauren. You should rest," his words are cold. He pauses awkwardly like he's about to do something but abruptly leaves with Aries and Tori coming back in my bedroom seconds later as I'm left standing there confused.

"Quit over thinking Nose and listen to him. Get to sleep."

* * *

The news of James' death spreads like wildfire throughout the faction. The details they give was that he attacked another member and that member didn't spare him his life. He was a misfit in this faction. Truly arrogant, and annoying at times, I don't think he'll be missed.

I sit at the table at lunch across from Four with Tori to my right. I tried my best to cover my bruises on my neck but it's nearly impossible and I haven't gotten to the infirmary yet. I know he's going to see them and figure it out.

He smiles at us and we smile back. It takes all of a minute for him to stop eating and stare at my neck.

"Lauren, what the fuck happened?" He says quietly enough since the initiates are near by.

"I'll stop by later and explain okay?" I try to reason with him.

"You did it. Didn't you?" I have to curb some of his curiosity so I nod yes. He takes that answer for now as I continue eating.

* * *

"Where's Ellen?" I ask and Lance and Mia just stare at me. "Seriously you two where is she?"

They exchange looks before Lance answers. "I didn't want to add this to your insane night, but she isn't doing well Lauren. She doesn't have much time left."

"I need to see her."

"We can't." Mia says now, and I look at her strangely. "She left us notes that we are to open when she passes. She doesn't want to be seen like this."

I don't have time to think as bloody Dauntless members come in from already fighting in the Pit this afternoon and I'm tending to them.

I'm going to be in charge of this place soon. That's what Max meant when he said my time to step up would come didn't he? Will they even let me now after I murdered someone?

My goal before I left tonight was to administer a small dose of healing serum to myself. It will help with the bruises and soreness that has taken over my body.

It helps some as I walk home for the night. My mind still is curious to how they got Eric to come see me when he's been a bastard to everyone since he broke off our relationship, if that's what you would call it.

Four stands outside of my apartment door and we say nothing as I let both of us in. He sits comfortably on my couch as I grab two glasses and bourbon out of my kitchen cabinets.

I sit on the table in front of him. It's better to tell him this head on as I pour him and I a glass.

"Why did you kill him?" He says quickly, unable to contain the question any longer.

I sigh and begin with the story. "I didn't tell them it was because he thought I was Divergent though. They would've killed me then" I give him a second to process as he runs his hands over his face.

"If Eric and James were so close…why did it seem that James was on to you more then Eric?"

I bite my bottom lip as I wonder the same thing. How was James so certain and Eric brushed off the matter? Who was James working for?

"James was working for someone…its not just Jeanine in this…" I say my thoughts out loud.

"Lauren. James was closer to Jeanine then Eric is. That's the only thing that would make sense. You slept with him…what could he have done when you were sleeping?"

It hits me. My glass slips out of my hand and crashes loudly to the floor and Four looks at me startled.

"She gave him the newest version…"

"Of what?" Four says, as he comes closer to me know, startled by my grave reaction.

"The handheld Divergent detector. He used it on me when I was asleep. It must've taken him this long to get it back to Jeannie to confirm that it worked. Once he found out he came after me as an order. Four – Jeanine knows that I'm Divergent."

I panic and look around my apartment aimlessly wondering who's going to kill me. What if they injected me with something already that will slowly kill me?

"I'm calling Aries. She can search his apartment Lauren. It might not have gotten back to Jeanine, calm down."

Within minutes Four and I are calmly walking down the hall and the staircase up to James' apartment, of course on the leader level, since they pitied him.

Aries has the cameras on this floor on loop so we can't be caught. Four types the code in that she gave him and we are in with no one seeing us.

I was here once in the dark and never really got to look at the place. It's strange to me now as it's so clean and precise. James was former Erudite too so books line the place. We ransack the place. They'll figure someone else did it before suspecting us. We come up empty until I see a stone in the wall that's off in his closet.

Behold behind it is the detector. I hand it to Four as we pull it apart to see that all the information is stored inside of it and not transmitted to Jeannie remotely. As soon as she gets word of his death, I bet she'll send people here for this.

Getting it from here to Aries is difficult, but that's the safest place to keep it.

* * *

"Aries quit playing with it!" Tori yells. Aries being Aries, aims it at her and presses the button.

 _"Divergent 78 percent."_ The robotic voice says and we all freeze.

"Jesus!" Aries says.

"It works." I say.

"Destroy it." Four says menacingly.

We agree that the best way to get rid of it is in the infirmary. There's a cremation chamber there and that seems like the smartest thing to do.

All our phones suddenly go off. It's a death announcement with the funeral in an hour.

Ellen _is_ dead.

* * *

Many have gathered as I stand in the Pit with Mia and Lance as it's only fitting. This just doesn't hit us hard; it hits everyone since she took care of all of us when we were injured. She's the one that assured us we were brave and would fight another day.

Max surprisingly chose to lead the funeral instead of forcing one of the younger leaders to do it. Eric and Aries stand behind him as well as the other leaders. Her death truly did affect everyone.

He shouts down from the staircase above the Pit and something about how he keeps eyeing me makes me uneasy to the point where I start tapping my right foot softly on the stone underneath it.

"With tomorrow being final testing, I see no problem in reassigning this member. Ellen was the head of the infirmary, a leader. She needs someone just as daunting and intelligent to take her place. Lauren Dyer, you have been appointed as the head of the infirmary, because this is a low but respectable leadership position do you except?"

All eyes are on me and my time to stand up has come. There's no backing down.

"Yes sir, I accept."


	26. Chapter 26

His cold eyes stare at me every now and then, as I've been required to attend a meeting before we begin final testing on the initiates. In the week since Ellen's death I've become a respected department leader, though I just lead the infirmary, people have taken to me.

In the letter she left for me she warned me that people would take to me like this because I will see them at their worst. She didn't know that my position wouldn't last nearly as long as hers did.

Eric is making a smart comment again Aries and she yells at him. They don't speak of the war here because this meeting is for the leaders of all the departments as well as some who are on the council; those are the ones that know about the war.

I tap my foot on the floor softly with my boot unable to contain myself from wanting to get out of here as quick as possible.

I'll be done with the initiates after today and won't help with training after this year. Taking all that into consideration when I helped score the initiates on their skills. I picked one person whom I know is going to rank high to take my place, Tris. She won't get to do it though, but I hope that she takes my action as genuine towards her and that I'm an ally not a foe.

And the second Max concludes this I'm racing out of the room to get coffee. The final testing is going to take up most of the day and I'm going to need something, so coffee will do.

I bump into Tris on the way there and she looks scared as all hell.

"You need to look more relaxed."

"Hm, I am." She says as we walk down the hall to the dining area together.

"Your face says otherwise, you'll be fine. You'll be a member by nightfall."

We enter the hall and she retorts with, "Or dead," before going to find her friends and I just shake my head.

I have time to sit with Aries and drink my coffee so I do so.

"If he wasn't in black or had ink all over his skin I would say he was Erudite!" She quietly yells at me and I roll my eyes.

"Did you hear the way he was demanding things that only better Erudite? And the way he belittled me like I was an initiate? I am fucking council member too!" She stabs the eggs on her plate and I laugh.

"And that is why he is their pet." I sip my coffee when I see him walking in. "The devil is here so say nothing else."

"I want to rip him a new one." She says still stabbing at her eggs. I press my lips together tightly to hold back my laughter as he passes where we are sitting.

"Are you done now?" I ask her and she nods yes.

"Lauren" I hear and turn to see one of my initiates, Sarah standing behind me.

"Yes initiate?" I ask in an instructor voice.

"Will there be open positions at the infirmary? I enjoyed your instruction and would look forward to working for you." She nervously pulls at the skin around her fingernails.

"As long as you become a member and are able to choose it as a job, I would not have a problem with it."

She takes my answer with a smile and walks away. Aries is grinning at me as I turn around.

"What?"

"Awww your little spawns still like you enough to want to work for you. You weren't terrorizing enough."

I roll my eyes, "I was more effective though."

She nods as we both continue eating and making small talk.

* * *

It's nearly over when Tris walks in and my heart stops. I'm not concerned about her, but the woman who has suddenly entered the room with Eric in tow. Jeanine is here.

I want to crawl out of here at the sight of my former faction leader. I can't react physically though because she'll sense that I'm uneasy and then she'll start calculating why and that would be bad, so I just stand there with Four as he tenses as well. Jeanine hasn't watched anyone but the last three people, which will be Tris, Peter, and Sarah.

The only one that is Divergent is Tris, so does she know or does she suspect something else in her and that's what brought her here?

I didn't realize that Tris' final testing started until I hear her gasping for breathe and I know exactly what sim she's in. I have to say she completes everything like a Dauntless would, which should've killed any of Jeanine's suspicions.

The room stares at Four when one of her fears is intimacy. I can feel the embarrassment radiating off of him. They're both innocent former Abnegation, I surely didn't expect them to be jumping all over each other.

She's done and we are clapping to congratulate her as I look at Jeanine who is staring at Tris, I can almost see the wheels turning in Jeanine's head and only wonder what she's thinking.

"So who'd you pick to replace you?" Four asks, as the testing concludes.

I laugh, "I think if everything goes well," I pause he knows what I mean by that, "you will surely like my replacement."

I smile at him as I depart a different way from where ever he is going.

* * *

The dining hall is alive as it waits for the final rankings and then the party will be lead over to the Pit. Then I'm certain I'll be needed in the infirmary.

I find Four, Shauna, Zeke, Mia, and Lance all pressed against a table near the wall and I laugh. They want to be away from when insanity interrupts.

I sit next to Four as everyone greets me.

"Oh look a leader is actually sitting with us!" Zeke shouts and I shake my head.

"She's a low leader, only a leader of a department so calm down mister." Lance says sarcastically and we all laugh.

"Jealous much?" I taunt. "No, not with your responsibilities. I'd rather stay being your bitch." Lance says causing us to laugh more.

Suddenly the metal drinking cups are being repeatedly hit off the tables as the all the leaders take a place on the balcony.

Max holds his hands up and the whole room drops to an eerie silence.

"Today we welcome ten new members into our faction." He begins, and it's a speech I've heard before, memorized perfectly for every class to hear when final rankings are posted. "And here are the rankings." The board lights up and I have to keep my composure when I see who ranked first.

1\. Tris

2\. Lukas

3\. Uriah

4\. Lynn

5\. Marlene

6\. Peter

7\. Will

8\. Christina

9\. Sarah

10\. Noah

Tris was strong and determined. She was at the bottom, but now she has risen to the top. I look to Four as he has a sense of pride in his eyes. The entire room breaks out in chaos, as the new members are crowd surfed around the dining hall before everyone disperses out to eventually go to the Pit.

Lance, Mia, and I are heading to the infirmary already knowing that we probably left Kate swamped with drunken idiot members who are using this day as an excuse to get drunk and stupidly fight.

I walk in to a contained infirmary room and am shocked as Kate sits at the front desk with a smile on her face and yelling 'told you' at me because I doubted her earlier.

Walking to my office, which was once Ellen's gives me this strange feeling of nostalgia. I open the door to a dark blonde head sitting in the chair in front of my desk. Of course I couldn't have one Eric free day.

Neither of us says a word as I sit on my side of the desk and cross my arms with the most annoyed expression I could muster on my face.

"What do you want?" I ask even more annoyed.

He lets a smirk grow on his lips as his blue eyes pierce into me. "Well, Lauren I was hoping that we could split this bottle of whiskey." He says, and places the rather large bottle on my desk.

"What are you up to? Why are you playing nice?" There's not point in _not_ asking him point blank.

"You're a leader now, a department one, but still thought I'd be polite enough to celebrate with you since no one else has." He says smugly. I just love how everyone has to point out that I'm not a council level leader like Eric is.

I laugh in his face. "Wow you seriously don't have any friends now. This is desperate Coulter."

He glares at me and I ignore it logging into the computer to check patient statuses. "Are you going to leave now? You always forget that you have no authority on this land." I say as smartly as I can, still while not looking at him.

He gets up and slams my door shut. I roll my eyes at his juvenile exit.

* * *

"I don't want to go!" I whine and drop face first onto my bed as Shauna and Mia are forcing me to go to the Pit and relax.

One of them is pulling my boots off and I kick at them while the other is going through my closet.

"Get up Dyer! You're going whether you like it or not! The infirmary can live without you for one night!" Shauna yells and I groan and flip on my back.

"What if…the infirmary…" I start and am hit in the face with my pillow by Mia.

"Fuckers." I mutter as they now try to undress me, knowing fully well the only way I'll comply is if they do with me as they wish.

"There." Shauna says as they fix my hair to however the hell they want. I stand up and go look at my reflection in the mirror.

I willingly put on this outfit. It's black pants with my nicer pair of boots, and a very short black leather crop top that shows off my toned stomach. My hair is pulled back into a decent length French braid with my bangs now long enough to be pushed to the side. Thankfully, I still don't resemble the old Lauren that stepped into this place at all. I look Dauntless and mature.

* * *

The Pit is the fullest I've ever seen it with music blasting and alcohol in everyone's hands. Shauna abandons Mia and I the second she spies Zeke. Both of us go over to the makeshift bar area and grab a beer.

When we're five beers in Mia suddenly leaves me for the guy she's been flirting with. Liquid courage finally made her go dance with him and I laugh as I order a shot of vodka to cap off my night.

Suddenly Eric is sitting next to me. Of course that determined bastard was waiting for his opportunity to come near me.

"You're far in." He says as an observation sipping the beer he brought down here with him.

"Aren't you too good to be sitting here?" I retort.

I'm given my shot and he watches me as I quickly get the substance down my throat. I go to stand and he stops me by putting his arm around my waist.

"What happened to the whole we aren't anything but an Erudite crush, Eric?" I look him straight in the eyes.

"You know why I said that." He says looking around. "No I don't." I say even though I understand what he means. He only did it because it interfered with his leadership and most importantly, Jeanine.

"Don't play dumb with me." He's standing up so close to me. He leans in to me with his arm around my waist and whispers in my ear, "If you don't come to my apartment in ten minutes, I _will_ hunt you down."

The question isn't whether or not I want to go but rather what will happen when I arrive. I'm too drunk to make rational thoughts right now, right? That will at least be my excuse to Four when he questions me further about this, because he will know since he's in the surveillance room now. Who am I kidding? Once I arrive at Eric's he's going to have his way with me.

Fuck it.

My feet are walking forwards but it doesn't feel like the rest of me is there as I walk down the floor of Eric's apartment. I knock at exactly ten minutes later showing that I'm still as punctual as an Erudite.

He opens the door with a ridiculous smirk on his face as I walk in.

"I was worried I was going to have to go find you. Let the celebration begin." He's getting more alcohol out for us to drink. This is totally how I'm going to justify all of this.

I sit on the kitchen counter across from him, as my mind screams at me for letting myself be so vulnerable. He comes and stands in between my legs as he hands me the glass in his hand that I meant to share with him. I take a small sip not wanting to put much more alcohol into my body and he gets the hint as he sets it down.

For minutes we are just staring at each other and then he closes the space by bringing his lips to mine. Their soft and taste of alcohol, but right now it's everything I need as I let myself get lost in his taste, his smell, and his hands on my body.

I have him pulled close by my fists in his vest's fabric. His lips make their way down my exposed neck and collarbone and I melt into him even more. He suddenly pulls away and looks directly into my eyes as I yearn for more.

"This is the only way I'll ever be able to show how much you mean to me. And if you tell anyone that I said that or what I'm about to do _I_ _will kill you_." With that he's lifting me off the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist as he kisses me softly all the way to his bedroom.

My head spins at all the ways he touches and kisses me. Carefully peeling off both our layers as he's making sure I'm properly pleased tonight before his own needs.

I let him take me completely as I wither underneath him.

* * *

It felt like a dream when I awoke, but I slowly realized it wasn't as I felt him near.

I turned in his black sheets to face him as he sat pensive reading his tablet for the morning. He made no movement towards me so I took it as a hint to get out. The alcohol must've made him as weak as it made me and now he realizes his disobeyed Jeanine's orders.

I start to get up when his large arm is pulling me back into the bed and into his chest. He says nothing as he wraps both his arms around me as I embrace back. We both have things we could be doing but he doesn't let up.

"Eric what time is it?"

"Don't worry about it." He grumbles with his voice still raspy from sleep.

"Eric…I have work."

"Lauren Dyer, shut the fuck up."

I try to wiggle out of his wrath but it's no use when he's stronger then me. He gets annoyed and decides to wrap his legs around mine as well. I can only imagine this sight.

* * *

"And here we have a walk of shame, or at least that's what they used to call it." Aries says as I walk down my hall with my clothes from last night on. She's taking Tris to her new place, two doors down from Four. I didn't realize that placements had occurred already and check my phone to see that it is noon. I'm surprised Eric made me stay that long.

It's not long that I'm in my apartment before Aries is practically knocking down my door and I let her in.

"ARE YOU STUPID?" She yells, Four must've told her where I ended up. "I was here last night and when you didn't answer the door or your phone I went to Four's interrupted him and Tris doing whatever those former Stiffs do to celebrate, anyway he said that you probably wouldn't be home and when I asked him why the look in his face told me you'd done something stupid and he confirmed it. So why the fuck where you with Eric?" She finishes taking a breath.

"I'm going to blame being drunk. Can I go get a shower now so I can get food and to the infirmary?"

"Ah you foolish girl!" And she's walking out my door as I stand there still taking in last night.

Eric Coulter showed me a side of him I've never seen before. I just hope he gets his loyalties straight in time.


	27. Chapter 27

**I'm so sorry that this chapter is terrible.**

* * *

Three days and there's no sign of the war breaking out. Everything seems normal as the new members get settled in. Aries is paranoid as ever saying that it will happen any day but I haven't even _seen_ any signs that Erudite and Dauntless are preparing for a war. Then again, maybe that is the whole point.

It's early morning and I'm finally done at the infirmary after a night of a literal bloody mess. The dining hall is just preparing food but I'm hoping I can convince them to give me something before it technically opens. My walk over the chasm is eerie at this hour and I wonder how many have jumped when it's like this. Did they feel alone as I feel now? Or were they at peace?

I'm grabbed from behind with a hand around my waist and one on my mouth.

"You still get wrapped up in your thoughts too easily Dyer."

It's Eric.

I don't fight back knowing that he'll get what he wants. I regret that decision the second he flings me over the side of the bridge. I grab the side of it just in time.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" I yell hoping it's just his sick way of toying with me and he'll let me up.

He bends down to now look at my state above the chasm.

"I know why you killed James." He says devilishly. I don't react and I focus all my energy to getting back up on the bridge and kicking his ass for this.

"You're Divergent aren't you?" He says it with a tone like he hopes it's not true.

"I'm Dauntless, Eric." I say sternly as I feel my left hand start to slip.

He notices but makes no attempt to help me. "Tell me the truth."

"I'm not Divergent. Get me off of here!" I yell the last part. Saying I'm not Divergent is going to come and bite me in the ass I just know it but I'm too angry to think of anything more convincing to say.

He just stands and crosses his arms like he's enjoying this.

"James would not have gone after you otherwise..." He's thinking out loud.

I hear footsteps running towards me but I don't dare look up thinking it's Max or someone worst, like Jeanine.

Then I hear Aries with her guards yelling at Eric as Four is reaching to pull me up off the side of the bridge.

"You alright?" My hands are cut but I just nod my head that I am.

Aries is screaming at Eric for trying to kill me of all people and while his back is turned to me I take my opportunity anger completely taking over. Four's arm on me couldn't stop me in time.

I kick out the back of Eric's knees. He didn't see it coming. He's trying to react when I push him forward face first into the bridge. It's not enough to make him unconscious so I grab the back of his shoulders and shove him as hard as I can onto the metal bridge. Luckily he's out that time and Aries' guards drag him out.

Aries laughs that I just completely knocked him out but then calms herself. When the coast is clear Aries speaks, "I'm leaving soon. You need to come Lauren."

Four stands there looking at the two of us. "If Lauren goes Aries, then they will know. Eric's already out for her."

"He won't kill me." I say knowing it's true because he would've completely flung me off the bridge without anyway to save myself otherwise.

They both look at me.

"Do you realize two people have tried to kill you in the last week! Get over him Lauren! Get over Eric before whatever you feel for him kills you."

I need to think like an Erudite about this. Getting over Eric is not happening not with what happened the other night.

"Stop, this isn't the place for this." Four says. We all agree to meet at his place later since we can't keep meeting at Aries or it will look more suspicious.

* * *

"Why would you compromise me like this?" Tris says as she sits next to me at dinner. She's under watch too since she's learning the ropes of becoming and instructor, which they're taking my Erudite background into consideration of training future members.

"Not the place kid." I say, and realize that Aries is rubbing off on me.

She says nothing as Four sits across from me. They're still trying to hide their relationship, even though no one would give a fuck now.

Suddenly one of Aries' guard's, Aaron, sits to my left and I'm confused as he shakes his head and starts getting food. Then I realize that Eric is watching. I hold back my laugh as I see I gave him bruises on his face.

"He's out for blood now." Four says bringing me back, and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"I watched him for the rest of the day…Aries orders." And I nod my head and Tris looks at him strangely.

"What's going on?" She asks, always having to know everything and I roll my eyes.

Four and Aaron tense and I realize why. Eric is approaching me.

"Dyer, get up." His voice is filled with venom. Fuck.

I mouth that it's fine as I get up to Four and Aaron. I turn to face Eric with my arms crossed over my chest. I raise my eyebrows once again for him to continue.

Before I can react he's slamming me to the ground, just like I did to him. I hear the whole room go quiet and then pick up their conversations again. I'm guessing Eric glared at them all.

I stay down letting him think he got me knocked out as he backs off and I swing my legs to the side knocking him partly down as he catches himself and wraps a hand around my throat, that's when Aaron steps in.

"Coulter, get off of her." He says.

"Your leader is gone! Your authority doesn't mean shit to me now!"

I know what that means the second he says it.

Aries defected. Aries is gone.

Eric has majority of his weight on me and I'm pinned. Then I hear _her_ voice.

She laughs first, "You still toy with her Eric. How intriguing to know."

"Let her be Eric. We have matters to take care of with Jeanine." Max says and I'm free. The dog always listens to its master.

Jeanine stares at me curiously and I know she's the only reason Eric went after me. He didn't follow orders to kill me.

I sit back down as I rub at my throat. "Aaron, that's why you're here?"

"She sent me to protect you. I can't say much here." He takes a drink as Four and I stare at each other.

* * *

I read the news at work with all the speculation as to why Aries left. Many think because of her age and that there was something with her health. While others believe that she may have been Divergent which fuels into the whole 'we must kill the Divergent because they're corrupting our government thing' comments.

"Lauren, it's lovely to see a former Erudite adjust so well." _She's_ here in my goddamn office.

"I have to accredit some of my upbringing in Erudite for this Miss Matthews." I say nicely as I can muster. She stands in the doorway with two of Max's many guards. I wonder why she's so stuck in the doorway, but don't offer her to come in.

"Erudite will have to send some updated equipment here since you'll be able to understand it." She says with a smile as I nod, then suddenly she leaves without another word.

It takes ten minutes before Lance comes in yelling.

"What the fuck! Why was the witch in here?" He asks and I tell him that I don't know, because with Jeanine you just don't ever know what the vile woman is up to, well except probably planning genocide, but I can't tell him that.

* * *

I walk in my apartment door and there he is standing there. On instinct I grab my gun that's on the shelf next to the door and point it directly at him.

"Woah, Lauren that's not necessary." He says and puts his hands up in defense.

"You tried to kill me this morning and probably at dinner too, remember?" I move closer gun still raised.

"I came here to explain. Please put the fucking gun down." The veins almost pop out of his tattooed neck as he says it.

I put it down to my side but don't let it out of my hand as I approach him further.

"Lauren..."

"Eric..."

"You're acting juvenile. I just want to talk."

I roll my eyes as I set the gun down on the table next to my couch.

"Talk Coulter."

"Jeanine was here. The psychotic women believes you're Divergent yet which we both know isn't true. I watched all you fear landscape attempts. I watched you."

"Well that isn't creepy at all."

He comes closer and I step back. He shakes his head at my hesitation.

"I...I was in bed with you...differently the other night. I made...it was different okay?" He's stumbling for words before me. I laugh at what he's trying to get at.

"You're trying to say you made love to me? Is it so hard for a monster like you to say that word? You can't love Eric. So don't play that card. You're a manipulative bastard." I walk away so done with this as I head to my bedroom kicking of my boots in the process.

"I can't...look Lauren I can't make promises to you right now. Things are going to happen." He says pleadingly.

"You're so far up Jeanine's ass it doesn't even matter." I say changing in front of him not caring anymore.

"Laur..."

"Don't whatever this is don't. You keep toying with me and I'm sick of it. You need to stop. We need to stop this."

"I'm trying to apologize for almost killing you this morning damn it!"

I laugh. "You aren't doing too well."

"Damn it." He mutters.

I just pull my night shirt over my head when he's pulling me into his chest holding me tight against him I try to struggle but I stop as his grip gets tighter, it's no use.

He kisses my forehead, "I'm sorry I ever tried to hurt you Laur."

He pulls away and is gone. Leaving me standing there questioning everything once again.


	28. Chapter 28

Twenty-two injured patrol members that my small staff couldn't even handle it all. Some had to go to Erudite and even Candor, it's the third attack by Factionless this week and I wonder what they know that they're trying to take out as many Dauntless as they can. I'm caught up in the chaos that I realize this was Eric's squad. The panic sets in that he could be injured or one of the three that are dead. The Eric I know wouldn't give up that easily though.

I'm grabbing a tablet out of Lance's hand before he even realizes. I feel him glaring at me, but I don't care. Searching not the patient charts but signing in to the member status and scrolling down to find his name.

 **Coulter, Eric**

 **Position:** Dauntless Leader – Council Status

 **Faction Origin:** Erudite

 **Current Faction:** Dauntless

 **Age:** Twenty-One Years

Status: _Unknown_

 _Unknown._

I feel a ping in my chest, like it's about to explode, but I remind myself where I am as Lance stares at me widely in the middle of the crowded infirmary.

I hand him the tablet still with the profile open. Max is at the other side of the infirmary and I calmly walk over there.

"Lauren," he greets solemnly.

"Deceased for tonight is up to three. I don't have Erudite's reports; you'll have to check with them. Was everyone accounted for?" I stand tall with my arms crossed.

"No, Dyer, they were not." He says unsure of how to go about this conversation.

"I have the patrol squad list…we need to keep it accurate. Who is unaccounted for?" I say now pulling out my tablet from the front desk. I don't look up at him but I can feel the hesitation.

"Eric." He says not knowing how I'll react. I make the note then look up at him.

"Anyone else?" I say without a hint of concern and he shakes his head no. I'm about to walk away when he grabs my arm.

"Listen. If he contacts you for help, alert me or another leader. We can't raise too much concern yet with a leader missing, understood?" He tries to intimidate me, but he doesn't.

"Yes sir."

* * *

There's a terrible chime noise going off and in my half conscious state I can't figure out what it is. I turn and realize that this doesn't feel like my bed. I reach forward to the noise and realize it's my phone on a table. There isn't a table on this side of my...

Once again I've fallen asleep on my couch exhausted from the infirmary with all the attacks that have occurred on all the patrols that suddenly have been ordered. I was overthinking again tonight and must've ended up here.

I answer my damn phone angrily and my tone changes as soon as I hear the voice on the other side.

"Give me five minutes I'll be up." I hang up and curse at myself for Eric having me at his beckon call, especially when I realize that it is 5am.

Then realization hits me as his status was unknown and he was unaccounted for.

Just by his tone I can tell that something is wrong, very wrong.

I grab everything I can think of that I will need and head up to his apartment letting myself in per his request.

I find him distraught on his bathroom floor. He doesn't even look at me.

"Eric...what happened..." I asked taking the sight in more.

His clothes are ripped, hair disheveled, blood covers his hands, face, and right foot that his torn out of his sock.

"Please just fix it." He says detached.

I'm cleaning him up then I will figure out what happened. Glass is in his hands. There are cuts on his face that I bandage. His foot had a small laceration. His torso is bruised and red, possible broken ribs which I tell him that I can't tell by touching him at the moment because of the swelling. I gently wipe his face and chest but he needs a shower and he pleads with me otherwise so I take off his pants, left boot and sock, and what's left of his shirt. I give him the equivalent of a sponge bath by wiping off what dirt and blood I can with a washcloth.

"Does Max know you're here?" I ask him, by gently pulling his head to look at me.

"He'll know." His eyes don't meet mine.

"Who attacked you Eric?" My heart breaks when I wipe blood of his wrists realizing there were restraints on him. My first thought is that Jeanine captured and tortured him, but this is too much blood for her to shed on her precious white walls. Factionless attacked the patrol tonight...so it had to be them, right? He doesn't answer as I gently wipe his face. What the fuck happened?

"You're fixed up. If you need anything else pain wise – come find me." I step away and he doesn't move.

I shouldn't help him more. I should let him do whatever the fuck he is doing and go find one of the leaders to alert them that he's here and I've taken care of him. I turn back to Eric who has brought his knees to his chest and has he hands covering his face.

He's clearly upset and clearly only letting me see him like this.

Fuck.

I bend down and put my hands on his arms to try to pull them away from his face but he won't let me.

"Eric." I say softly. He pulls his hands away to tears down his face and I'm taken back.

"Leave." He says flatly and gets up.

I get off the floor as well and follow him into his bedroom where he's grabbing clean clothes and I sit on the edge of his bed watching him.

"I thought I told you to leave."

"I'm concerned."

"You cleaned me up and I appreciate it, now leave." His words don't meet his eyes though.

I do the one thing I shouldn't do which is hugging the beast. He resists at first and soon enough he's bringing me tightly against him.

"I hate you," he mumbles and I reply with "good."

* * *

I'm waking up curled into Eric's broad chest. Realizing that I got here by him asking me to stay with him. I still haven't found out what happened, but perhaps he'll tell me on his own terms. It's going to drive me insane though trying to put the pieces together.

I softly get out of bed to head to my apartment to shower and change then back to the infirmary.

Max is waiting for me when I get there.

"Did you take care of him?" I nod yes as I read the tablet in my hand with reports on all who are patients here.

Max is still standing there and I ask him what he wants when he tells me that I need to go pick up supplies that he ordered for the infirmary. I don't question it and agree. I'm calling Aaron to come with me the second Max walks out the door.

* * *

We meet in the common area between Dauntless and Erudite. It's a smorgasbord of factions getting supplies from Erudite. Aaron and I head to the man who's organizing this and directs us to our bin that we will be taking back on the truck to Dauntless. We can't check what's in it till we are near Dauntless. I wonder if it's the control serum.

"Hello Lauren." I woman in grey says to me and I look at her puzzled.

I look around and realize we're away from everyone really. "Don't look too alarmed. I know Aries. She made it out safely. Now the other concern is my daughter and yourself. When you need to escape this city, go to the edge of where Logan Square used to be and before Amity. You'll find something there that isn't like the rest of the place."

Has she gone mad? It's never going to be that easy to escape!

"Who's your daughter?" I ask as she starts to walk away, clearly after telling me what she needed to.

"The Divergent initiate, obviously." She says too smartly for Abnegation and walks off.

* * *

Surviving till dinner has been difficult. The Abnegation woman's words run rampant through my head. "...go to the edge of where Logan Square used to be..."

"Now what is going on in there Dyer." Eric says as I realize he's been sitting next to me and I was lost in my thoughts. His appearance and tone seems normal, as if nothing happened to him last night.

I stab a carrot with my fork. "I'll share when you do Coulter."

He rolls his eyes and starts eating his food. I wonder what is going on with him but stop myself.

"How far does Factionless extend?" I'm suddenly asking, because I wonder if it reaches Logan Square.

He looks at me sharply. "Look around Nose. Why are you asking that?"

"Why are you questioning my question, Nose?"

He keeps eating and so do I as silence lingers between us. Suddenly, he answers me.

"It only reaches where West Town used to be then there's Abnegation which stops right before a sector formerly known as Logan Square. Why?" He's curious to know as to why I'm so curious.

"There's many more Factionless since I've had my nose in a map. I was just wondering if it had extended, being that you've gone that far into the city, I thought you were the perfect candidate to ask." It's a logical explanation and I watch his body language as he accepts my answer seeing no need to raise alarm with it.

"They're a disease." He says sharply and gets up leaving me to my quiet dinner. I eye him all the way until he disappears down a hallway, sighing I finish and leave too.

* * *

"But what did my mother mean?"

"See I told you we shouldn't have told the little Stiff. She asks more questions then a damn Nose." I retort as Four made me tell Tris that I ran into her mother today.

"Lauren..."

"My mother trusted you because of Aries." Tris says and I roll my eyes. God is she annoying.

"How did you mother know Aries, Tris?"

Four and her look at each other. They know something.

"My mother was Dauntless."

I'm surprised to say the least. Tris' mother and Aries are the same age...it adds up. It's reasonable.

My phone is going off yet again and I hope it the infirmary, but it's Eric.

"What." I say annoyed, and I don't know if it's because of Tris or the fact that he won't tell me what happened to him, or both.

"Come to my apartment please." He says on the other side of the phone.

"When?"

"Now." He orders.

"What if I'm busy?"

"If I have to drag you out of Four's apartment..." He says in that tone that I know better then to say no to.

"Fine. I'll be there." I'm defeated.

I say bye to Four and Tris as once again I'm at Eric's beckon.

I enter the code not caring and am in. He's got tactical gear everywhere and I can't help the sick feeling I get in my stomach.

It's happening.


	29. Chapter 29

"In the morning you stay here." Eric tells me calmly but sternly. I eye him as his tone makes me feel like I'm being scolded for something I didn't do.

I challenge back with an innocent, "why?"

It ignites him into fire, "Lauren. Because I'm fucking ordering you to!" He's yelling and I challenge him again like the foolish girl I am, always poking at the beast.

"Why." I stand confident with my arms crossed eyeing the back of him as he puts his apartment back in order.

"Something is happening and you don't need to be involved." The words hit like a dismissal as if I were a child.

"I have an infirmary to run, Eric!" I'm yelling at him not caring about the consequences of challenging him further.

"It's been taken care of." He snarls now looking directly at me from across the room with his piercing blue eyes.

I pull a hand through my hair and try to keep my composure, but I just can't. "What? What the fuck do you mean it's been taken care of?"

He charges across the room suddenly and grabs at my shoulders. "Goddamn it Lauren. Your ass is to NOT leave my damn apartment in the morning!" I raise my eyebrows at him. "Don't worry. If I have to use force I will." I quiver because of his tone and the look he's giving me and he notices. "Laur, I'm not going to hurt you." And he's letting go of me and back handling his shit and cleaning up his apartment as I sit there now a prisoner with a glass of whiskey handed to me to down.

I watch him intently. Is he really about to take part in genocide? There are parts of him that I've seen that show he isn't as tough as he always seems. He has his moments, but I know that some part of Eric cares for me. Am I naïve? That part cares enough to try to trap me in his apartment. I can't argue anymore because he'll get his way. If this is how he's trying to protect me then so it must be it, but whose going to protect him when he needs it? I'm literally the only person in all the factions to have the thought of whose going to protect Eric Coulter. He let his mind get poisoned by Jeanine; someone has to show him the good side.

He carries me to his bedroom and tosses one of his shirts at me to put on. While he takes off his clothes to only leave himself in his underwear as he crawls into his bed. I stare at him and he simply raises his eyebrows as I begin to undress. It's not sexual. I'm just curious for where his eyes go and if he gives me that look that he cares.

I join him and he holds me like he'll never hold me again. My thoughts go crazy.

He kisses me and I relish in it. He pulls away from my face and we stare at each other as the moonlight dances across our faces.

I don't like how this feels like a goodbye.

* * *

I felt his lips on my forehead before he left. It doesn't feel real in my half conscious state so I let sleep win. It's hours later when I realize that I've slept in till 9:40am, rather he probably but something in my whiskey last night to sedate me this long. I rush to Eric's window seeing the last of the controlled soldiers entering the train. I need to find out what is going on before I walk in blind.

Eric's safe has all his weapons in it and I'm guessing there's one in here I can get incase I run into trouble down the hallway. Of course I'm going to take a few kitchen knives, but this is extra caution. The safe is by number and fingerprint. He would make it this hard to crack. I scour his apartment finding tape and heading straight for the door that he touched when he left. I've successfully got some fingerprints and head to try that with any code I can think of.

Five minutes in and I'm wasting fucking time. There's no point. Kitchen knives will have to do.

I go to make my escape and realize that the door is bolted shut so that I can't get out. I smack my hands off the door in frustration.

Fuck.

His tiny ass living room window is my only option to get me somewhere else in the compound. The balcony is a ten-foot drop to another roof and all the others lead me to places I don't want to go. The living room window keeps me in this area of the compound.

I bust it with a fucking huge dictionary he had, what a fucking Nose thing to do and for him to have, and carefully crawl out. I scale down the wall and see that someone thankfully left the hall window open, I wonder if that's coincidence.

I slide through it much easier then Eric's window and am greeted by the eerie silence of no one being here.

I grab my guns and put on my tactical gear from my apartment. There's no one in the Pit and I feel sick.

I keep walking cautiously when a gun clicks behind my head. "How are you awake?" Of fucking course they kept Peter out of this. I turn to him and am determined to make a real idiot out of him.

"I have leadership status. I have to check the infirmary and aid if needed. How long is it supposed to take?" He looks at me confused for a second and I roll my eyes.

"They just reached Abnegation. I suppose no more then three hours. Max and Eric are leading it so their plans should unfold seamlessly." He lowers his gun finally and I nod and head to the infirmary now to cover my tracks and escape from the emergency door there. I can't digest that Peter told me Max and Eric lead the attack. I have to worry about how I'm going to find my friends.

Lance and Mia are under the serum as they robotically move around and don't look at me. I slowly make my way out of the infirmary doors and run straight to the train that is approaching.

I memorized the train system and where to get off to go during my time in Dauntless. Let's see if it pays off.

I get off with Abnegation in front of me or I should say the ruins. I can't believe my eyes at the sight. I hear yelling, screams, and gunshots. The Abnegation is being slaughtered by control Dauntless. My friends are killing innocent people and they're unaware of it.

I move for cover and go along the backside of the buildings. I'm trying to avoid any of the guards or controlled Dauntless. I know Four and Tris are here I need to find one of them, but I bet they somehow are together. The three of us could be more effective then one trying to storm the room in Dauntless I'm sure houses the control serum machines.

Like magnets the first person I hear that I know is _him_ and I then move closer until he's in view.

"Say goodbye asshole" Eric says to Four with a gun pressed to his head, fuck. Tris stands behind to watch as Max eagerly watches on. Tris is composed for once and knows not to just attack.

My heart is racing. I can't let either of them die.

It's my turn to step in. I take Eric's hesitation and go for it.

I have a gun in each hand as I come out of hiding. Pointing one straight at Eric's head and the other at Max's. They're guards didn't stay to watch this, idiots for making this easier for me.

"Put it down Coulter." I demand.

He wasn't expecting me and the look on his face goes from surprise to laughing sadistically to cover the surprise. "What the fuck is this? I locked you up!"

Max looks at Eric and shakes his head, "You aren't supposed to be here Lauren." Max says now directed to me and both Eric and I roll our eyes at his obvious statement.

"Let Four go now." I move closer.

Max stands like an expressionless stone. When Eric's face scrunches at my statement.

"He's Divergent. We must kill him." Max says monotone.

Tris steps and puts her gun into Eric's and he lets out another sadistic laugh. She was safe until she decided to not be rational anymore, now I have to save them both. She's dumb for putting a gun to Eric, but then again so am I. The difference is he'll shoot her but not me. Eric presses his gun into Four's forehead more. "Looks like we have two Divergent Stiffs. Two very dead Stiffs." He swiftly grabs Tris' gun from his back and points it at her head all while still having the gun on Four.

"That's the least of your problems. You have a Divergent with leadership power in front of you. Kill me then too."

Eric's eyes widen at my confession and Max doesn't even look surprised.

"Lauren." Four warns.

Then silence happens.

"No." Eric says now dropping the guns on Four and Tris as realization of my words hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Run!" I yell to Four and Tris. Max and Eric now point their guns at me.

"What have you done, Lauren? Was that an attempt to save your friends by telling us you're Divergent when you aren't!" Eric yells in rage and a hint of hurt.

"Why do you think Jeanine took me? Why do you think Amar secretly trained me? Why the fuck do you think I'm such good friends with Four and Tris you idiot? Jeanine suspected I was Divergent. Amar strengthened me to hide it. I am Divergent!" I yell like an insane person for him thinking I wasn't. "Watching my fear landscapes meant nothing. Watching me closely also meant nothing. I learned how to mask my Divergence before I was ever a member of Dauntless." It's not all true. I didn't learn I was Divergent until I was in Dauntless. It makes them think I've had the upper hand this whole time and that I knew what I was doing though. The looks on their faces are peerless.

"You foolish child. Take her to Jeanine, Eric!" Max orders and raises his gun at Eric. Eric stands there frozen in shock.

"ERIC! DISARM HER AND TAKE HER TO JEANINE!" Max screams and Eric gets it. As if he turned his emotions off, he robotically turns his head to Max, nods and then turns it back to me.

My fingers are on both triggers. I shoot Max in the shoulder and by then Eric takes me out by lunging at me. Wrestling for power. He's on top of me but his punches don't pack their usual punch. There's not that much force and I know I can take him, but there are my guns in between us. I can tell his head is all over the place. Never once does he reach for his guns. I knew he wouldn't shoot me.

Until I hear the gun go off and feel the pain. I'm shot in the stomach.

Hypothetically, I can bleed out.

Hypothetically, they aren't going to help me because I'm a Divergent traitor. This is the end.

And the darkness takes me.


	30. Chapter 30

**Eric's POV**

I slam all of my gear on the floor as I rip it off of me. White walls confine me, as this was the best room Jeanine's staff could give me. It's small but it will do for the time being. I walk down the hall to the bathroom and stare at my face in the reflection of the mirror. I just led an ambush on innocent Abnegations because Jeanine said it's what we need to do to find the Divergent that will cause a threat to our society and the Abnegation was hiding Divergents. Jeanine thinks she knows best, but does she? Her and Max are the only two whom have decided to take action about the Divergents. She said other factions would be there today to help us at Abnegation but it was only controlled Dauntless and a few sparse Erudite guards. She fucking wants to control this city. I'm doing her dirty work, but all that's known about Divergents is bad. So what the fuck am I doing? I killed a lot of people today. The face of a killer reflects back now. I don't recognize myself anymore.

Then I'm picturing her unconscious body being taken into this place. I might have killed her. I foolishly tried to pry the guns out of her hands, a initiate mistake. I don't know what they'll do since she's injured but right now I don't care. If she dies, maybe, just maybe I'll understand what all of this was for, but she'll haunt me anyway she can.

Lauren is Divergent and I didn't fucking see it. I mean I thought that was the only reason she killed James because he was hunting for them in our faction, but no not her, I was in denial that she could ever be one. I confronted her. I threw her off the bridge above the chasm thinking that would make her honest. I care about her. She's the very thing that will corrupt our society more. She's fucking poison that I still want to drink. How could I have been so blind? I am the foolish boy who's still obsessed with the girl his crushed on since Erudite days. The way she always had to show the teacher she knew the material perfectly. The way she broke rules by stealing weapons books from the library. The way she challenged me then and still challenges me today. In that way I can see her as a rebel but to Erudite only and not the entire fucking society.

Damn it! She was supposed to stay locked in my apartment. I thought I administered enough sleep serum that she'd be out until it was over. Would she still have hidden her Divergence? It took me almost killing them damn Stiffs for her to admit it. She's loyal to fucking Number Boy of course she'd save his ass!

No, I'm a better man then this. I will NOT let a woman destroy me. She can't control me. She will not affect my duties as a Dauntless Leader. I need to protect this city from people like _her_. My fist slams through the mirror, glass shattering, and blood trickling down my hand. I can't stare at this man before anymore.

* * *

 **Lauren's POV**

I feel cold and I wonder if this is how death is supposed to feel. Is it just black nothingness and coldness?

My senses take over and I listen. There are the noise of machines and feet. I must stir too much because whatever this is confines me.

"She's injured. We can't do much with her." Someone says and I realize I'm alive, probably not for much longer by the sound of my captures voice.

I don't want to open my eyes though. I have to be at Erudite. Which means one of two things. One, I'll be greeted by white walls with a murderous Eric over me. Two Jeannie will be over me.

I don't know which is worst.

* * *

I've been placed in a cell. Apparently I'm some kind of wounded animal that needs locked up. They did surgery on me and removed the bullet. I'm still damaged goods to them now. They didn't administer painkillers or even healing serum, so I sit and suffer. They can't test my Divergence by any other way but holding that stupid wand in front of me. Though they haven't tried it yet because I haven't been that conscious till today. I lost track of time. What even is today?

I sit with my back against a wall facing the door. Whatever is about to come through the doors I will face it head on. I'm wounded but I will fight if need be. I will fight till my death even.

Eric comes through with a guard he orders to leave.

I don't even look at him but there's a ping in my chest knowing that it's him. Part of me thinks he's here to rescue me, but the rational thing is that he is here to kill me.

He shoves the wand near my head, that didn't take long.

"Divergent 97 percent." The machine says and Eric yells, "fuck" as I sit there and know that this can't be good that this thing is working now.

I should keep my smart mouth shut but I don't and it cracks, as it's my first words since I've been shot. "Hypothetically there's still a 50/50 chance that thing still doesn't work properly."

He didn't expect me to speak. He crouches down in front of me. He slides his hand under my chin for my eyes to meet his and we both just stare.

"I can't believe this. You. The woman I care about is Divergent. Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me?" He looks sad almost that I hid this from him but I wonder if this is an act for Jeanine.

"You would've killed me the second you knew Eric." It's the honest truth. He takes his other hand to push my unruly hair out of my eyes.

"You weren't supposed to be at Abnegation. I locked you up."

I don't know why he says that because we both know that was obvious. His tone is surprisingly soft, but that doesn't mean that he won't strike at any minute.

"I would've saved you." He whispers and gets up and leaves.

I can't fathom. I can't comprehend. I'm in shock. He would've saved me? Is my state that bad that he felt the need to leave me with that as his last words?

* * *

Two guards come and practically drag me out of my cell since I fight back. I'm strapped down to a table and a bright light is shining in my eyes. Whatever is about to happen can't be good. This feels like an olden torture is about to go down and I get a sick feeling in my stomach at the face that enters my vision.

"Lauren." My father says in disbelief at who is subject is today. I know what this is. They're going to experiment on me.

"Father." I say.

He laughs like a crazy man, "We are going to get something straight today. I am not your father. You are not my blood. I could care less for you, but my wife wanted a child and couldn't bare one herself, so…" he picks up a syringe before continuing, "We adopted you from Factionless. Don't think you're an Erudite born, you're the scum of the earth child."

I turn my head to the side and vomit unable to control myself at the facts before me. It certainly explains why my father was always so cold to me and why my mother always seemed to feel sorry for me. I was born Factionless.

* * *

Anything my father tried failed. They haven't done anything with me in days and I fear that they're just going to kill me. Suddenly, there are gunshots ringing through the hallways. Someone stormed Erudite. There are too many shots for it to be just Erudite.

Before I know what's happening Tori and Zeke are coming through the once glass door that they shot out.

"Get up Dyer. Four caught Eric and he's probably going to kill him." Tori tells me frantically. She knows how I feel about him.

All I can ask is what as they tell me there's too much to explain.

* * *

It's a short ride to Candor but the normal route in will not get me to Eric fast enough.

I'm briefed in on what has happened, well the short version.

Christina is out here to lead us back in but I tell her to tell me the quickest way, of course the stairs. The pain from my gunshot is still sore, but there's no time to think about it now.

I don't have any concept of time but my body is on fire by time I'm near the floor Four and Eric are on. I stole a gun from a murdered Dauntless Erudite loyalty and find the perfect plan once I reach the stairs. I myself feel it's brilliant even though I can get shot again for this.

I grab my hostage and point the gun to their head as I go through the doors where a crowd had gathered presumably for Eric's assassination. Four wouldn't keep him alive, not with the crimes he's committed, not with all the pain he's caused him. Killing Eric will send a message to Jeanine, and that's what everyone wants.

There are gasps as I push through the crowd to see Four waving his gun as Eric is on his knees. I don't know what I look like but it's probably a disheveled desperate disarray. People in the room say my name followed by she's still alive, and the thing everyone knows now, that I am Divergent.

Four sees me and about loses it.

Tris is my hostage.

"Put a bullet in his brain and I'll put one in hers." I say with venom.

Dauntless that are loyal to Four now try to come at me but he tells them no. Tori is standing there watching this carefully. I only wish Aries was here to see this, she'd probably tell me how stupid I was being to attempt to save Eric.

"He's murdered hundreds Lauren. He's not innocent." Four looks at me with wide eyes realizing that I don't care.

I laugh, "Neither is Tris you idiot. She murdered Will."

The look he gives me tells me that he didn't know and neither did anyone else as chatter breaks out amongst the crowd. I don't give him time to think as tears run down Tris' face as what she did.

"Let Eric go and Tris lives too. It's that simple Four. Don't coward out of this deal. Just because you're my friend will mean nothing if you kill Eric."

"If I don't end him someone else will." He tries to rationalize, but I'm not backing down.

"Then I guess you'll have to live with two peoples blood on your hands. At least your father wasn't a murder." That was low of me but I can't let Eric die. Not when he showed me there's faith to have in him. There's something not right, like he's programmed.

"Lauren Dyer you've lost your damn mind." Four utters. I cock my gun. Playtime is fucking over.

I feel Eric look at me but I can't look at him. Not if he may die.

"Stop," Four says in his instructor voice.

"Take my other half and I'll take yours. Let him go and I'll let her go. It's that simple Four."

Whispers break out in the crowd once again. I suddenly shoot a bullet into the ceiling cause everyone's eyes on me. I can feel Eric staring as well like I've gone mad for wanting to save him.

"Dyer you're pushing it." Four says in his instructor voice yet again.

"There's hope to have in him yet Four. This isn't what you think it is."

"He doesn't care for you Lauren."

"You're wrong Four." I say, harshly put.

Four is the one cocking his gun and I know that there's no chance now. He's going to take out Eric and I'm going to take out Tris.

"Any last words Coulter?"

"Lauren," I look at him, "I love you."

 _BANG!_

 _BANG!_


	31. Chapter 31

I braced for the impact of Four's bullet to me but it never comes. He doesn't yell out in pain either as I realize both of us managed to miss each other's bullets. It's probably because we never truly aimed to hit one another.

I still have the gun to Tris' head as Eric is staring at me in disbelief of my actions. My stomach feels on fire, reminding me of the bullet wound that still laces it. The rest of the mix of Candor and Dauntless are shocked as well.

Tori steps in the line of fire suddenly. "Stop it both of you!" She's not going to get this nonsense to stop without someone shooting someone. All the Dauntless here are armed and their chosen leader is already trying to murder the Erudite conspirators of Dauntless.

"He has to die!" Four yells thinking he'll get chants that agree with him but the crowd is confused as the beast before them told me he loved me. He showed compassion, which is making everyone in Dauntless question the man. They've never heard the ruthless leader say such thoughtful words.

Meanwhile, Eric is quiet. I can't tell he's calculating how to get out of this or if he's accepted death.

"Jeanine is still at Dauntless trying to save her equipment that you two Stiffs ruined to get everyone out of the control stimulation. Let Eric take me to her. From my understanding, I'm not as Divergent as Tris but I'm a chance. We will stop her." I still hold on to Tris as she looks to Four, of course she wants to be the martyr. That's not my complete plan though. I stare directly a Four not breaking the eye contact.

"You're wounded Lauren. She doesn't desire you or any Divergent that is wounded." Eric now says. It's either true or he's showing that he cares again. Would he now use me as a way out and that's all this was? I don't have the time to think about that so I just need to play along.

"I will go to the infirmary and load myself with healing serum. With you leading me around it won't be that difficult. We won't get interrogated. We can end this." I look away from Eric and now at Four again, "If he betrays us then you may kill him." It hurts to say, but it's a compromise that needs to be made.

"Let Eric go and I'll let her go." I say without giving Four much time to think.

I let go of her arm and nod for her to go to Four but still raise my gun just in case he tries to shoot Eric. One can only imagine what she'd do for Four and I hope she sees the sincere nature of my actions. Four has a member of Dauntless undo the cuffs around Eric's hands and he gets off the floor and walks over to me. Taking everyone by surprise, including myself, he embraces me. I'm dropping my gun into my holder and hugging him back. I'm Divergent and he doesn't care?

"This has to be done." He whispers and before I can react he's shooting Tris, the hug was a distraction, so he is using me.

Everyone's losing it as she falls to the ground with a wound to her side.

"She can't be tested." Eric yells. I look at him realizing that he just saved her from Jeanine. No one else would've hurt Tris. It's another thing that had to be done.

Four lunges at Eric but Zeke and Aaron are pulling Four back.

"Go Lauren! Take Eric with you. You know the plan!" Aaron yells.

"Stop!" Jack Kang, leader of Candor yells with guards surrounding him and I know that Eric won't make it out alive. "You will not let a conspirator and murder out of here! This could all be a show for Jeanine. Have both of them injected now for trial." Jack says to one of his guards.

"You can't put us under truth serum without our permission!" I yell.

"If you think there's a chance for Eric you will comply." I shut up just like that as we all are headed towards the trial room. I don't want to be so bent to guarding Eric's life, but here I am.

The room is filled with some Candor and mostly Dauntless all now loyal to Four. I'm injected first as Jack does his whole banter and I feel the effects of the serum.

"May the truth set you free. Lauren Dyer, are you Divergent?"

"Yes." It comes off my lips quicker then I can stop it.

"How long have you known?"

I try to hold back and I feel pain, "Since the second stage of my initiation." I look at Eric and can't distinguish the look on his face.

Jack continues on with his next question, "Did you kill a fellow Dauntless to hide your Divergence?"

I fight it knowing that it's another lie that will be exposed. How does Jack even know what to ask specifically?

"The more you fight the serum the more it hurts."

"Yes…I killed James because he attacked me knowing that I was Divergent."

"Were you in a relationship with Eric Coulter?" I can almost feel everyone hold their breaths in the room for this answer. People had suspected it, but being that Eric isn't truly the public affection type, no one knew for sure.

"Yes and no…he tried to push me away but it didn't work." It's honest and true.

I look to Four now who entered the room. I assume Tris is okay.

"Did you know of the plans for the attack?"

"I knew something was happening, but wasn't certain until Aries told me." Fuck I didn't want to say that.

"Aries? What did she say?" Jack says surprised.

"She knew that there was going to be a war because of the Divergents. She wanted me to leave with her."

"Where did she go?"

No, I can't tell people there's hope of something beyond the wall. I fight it to the point where I'm on the floor quivering in pain.

"Tell them, Lauren." Four says calmly across the room.

"She…there's something she knows on…the other side…of the wall. She's safely there."

"Did she tell you that she was safe?"

"No, Aaron did." I look for him around the room and notice he isn't here. He must've known this would come out.

To my relief he moves on with the questioning. "Why do you believe Eric is so innocent?"

I take a breath and let the truth pour out of me. "He showed me that he cares for me and told me when I was locked up in Erudite that he would've saved me, though I still don't know if any of that is true or he was just using me. Though the morning of the attacks he locked me in his apartment and I escaped. Erudite has created a lot of serums and other experiments. I feel that they did something with Eric and that is how he bargained for his leadership position in Dauntless. He didn't know what they did to him and probably still doesn't. Anything Jeanine wanted from him she got. It's all just very strange."

"Thank you for your Candor." Jack says and the entire Candor repeats it. I go to stand next to Tori as Eric is injected next.

"Where do your loyalties lie?" Jack asks Eric and I hold my breath waiting for him to answer.

Eric struggles, "I'm unsure."

"Why did you kill innocent Abnegation?"

"I was ordered to by Jeanine. She claimed they were harboring Divergents and that Divergents were a threat to society."

"Do you still feel that Divergents are a threat to society?"

"I don't know what my beliefs are now. At the time I was just following orders." Sweat drips down his tattooed neck from the serum, as everyone looks surprised at his answer, including myself.

"Why is Lauren so special?"

"I love her." He looks to the ground knowing a weakness has been exposed. He can't lie under the serum, so he wasn't using me…

"Did Erudite experiment on you?"

"Not that I am aware of, but I don't trust the whole faction."

"Did Jeanine do anything to you?"

Suddenly he's screaming as he drops to his knees and holds his head trying to prevent whatever truth it is from coming out.

"Eric, what did Jeanine do to you?" Jack insists.

"No!" He screams before yelling in pain again. "Can't tell…don't want pity." He's curled in a ball on the floor.

I'm worried about the effects of this serum as I step in, approaching him hoping that he'll say it if it's only to my face at this moment and not the whole crowd. No one stops me as I kneel before Eric.

"Eric, tell me. I'm the only one here tell me what Jeanine did to you?" I say convincingly enough that the serum will make him talk.

He raises his head in defeat looking at me with tears in his eyes, much like the night he made me clean him up…I realize the events relate somehow.

"She…she had me taken from my patrol and…the Factionless…she had them take me there…they…the men…they raped me." I kneel with my jaw dropped as Eric curls himself into a ball not to be seen. I rub soothing circles on his back as I stare to Jack praying he'll end this.

Before anyone does anything Eric is getting up and storming out of the room going who knows where as I look to Jack who nods for me to follow him. I hear the chatter break out as I leave the trial room.

I find him in the men's restroom and lock the door behind me.

"Lauren get out." He grumbles.

"Quit pushing me away! I just saved your ass." I hoist myself up on the counter as he sits on the floor beneath me.

"You should've let them kill me Lauren. I didn't deserve to be saved. I don't deserve _you_ saving me." I hear the break in his voice. "And taking Tris as your hostage was stupid. You know better. Her life was nowhere near as close as to what I've done. That was desperate of you Dyer."

"I couldn't let you die Eric. I had to do something they just broke me out of Erudite..."

"You can barely stand for long. I see it. And I'm weak to them now anyways."

I sigh and he's quiet. Awkward silence fills the room and I just wait for someone to try to bang this door down.

He breaks the silence, "Why did you save me?"

"Don't ask me that. I just had to." I don't even truly know why I did it yet. I know he murdered people. He has me conflicted.

He stands abruptly in front of me looking at me with his deadly eyes. "I shot you." He says as he puts his hand on my shoulder and I don't look at him anymore. He pulls me to look at him. "I heard what your father said to you." The sick feeling returns in my stomach. I realize that maybe I'm holding on to Eric so much because he's all I know.

"That man is a monster." I try to get up but Eric doesn't let me.

"Jeanine said that there was Divergent propaganda occurring in Abnegation and that's why the Prior children left. I was ordered to kill people without question and I did it. I'm more of a monster then him."

I move my hand over his face and he closes his eyes. "Stop Lauren. I'm not the Erudite boy. You can't save me."

"That's not true. You saved yourself."

"What?"

"If you never said you loved me Four would've shot you. Don't forget that he's Abnegation at heart, him and Tris, she would've never forgiven him if he killed you."

"Maybe that's what the Stiff deserves." He smartly retorts.

"Eric." I say and then suddenly hiss at the sharp pain rising up from my wound, fuck. He realizes what's wrong as he's lifting my shirt to see the damage he caused.

"It's infected. What serum do they have here that you could use?" He asks like an Erudite.

"Healing and V-7." I say without a thought.

* * *

The Candor infirmary is spilt into everyone having their own individual room, something Dauntless only had a few of for leaders or women in labor. Jack agreed to let me be examined as the stress of today delayed my body from healing itself. Thankfully he signed off on me having some of their serums supply too.

Eric's asleep in the chair across from my bed. He's with me like a lost puppy. I'm not complaining though, because I too fear for what will happen to him after he's out of my sight.

"Lauren." Someone says suddenly coming through my doorway, Tris. Of course she's probably fine enough, in her opinion, to walk around like nothing happened.

Eric wakes and they both look at each other as she comes to sit on my bed. She's dressed in garb from different factions, but turns to pull her shirt off enough to reveal a shiny circle under her tattoo on her right shoulder.

"Do you know what these are? This is what they shot us with earlier. They didn't work on the Divergent." She looks at me and I don't see hate in her eyes but instead determination, probably to get answers and get out of here quickly.

"May I?" I ask before touching the object in her shoulder. I've seen it before…

"How many people have these?" I ask before revealing what it is.

"At least seventy five. Most were hiding once they hit the top of the building. What is it?" She turns to me completely now.

"A wireless transmitter device. It can't be removed without killing the host. They were just drawing diagrams for this last time I saw one…"

"Jeanine can send information to it or gather information from it?" She asks curiously, and I see the hint of Erudite in her.

"Send information to it for the host to carry out. We need to figure out how to remove them before she kills more people."

* * *

Ten hours later, Tori and I successfully remove the device from one of the Divergent that got killed.

I'm now a voice to these people as I explain to mostly Dauntless and some Candor what the device is and that it needs to be removed now.

Four watches on with Tris as Eric stands to the other side of the room. In my absence no one has tried to kill him, and I wonder if Four spoke to the Dauntless members here telling them not to since they now look to him for leadership.

I wonder if Eric has something like this in him? I've never seen anything in the nights I've spent in his bed.

Suddenly I figure it out and finish up the person I'm taking the transmitter out of quickly as possible. I'm running to Eric with a small blade in my hand.

"Is there any strange bumps on your body? Perhaps your underarm or your neck?" I ask quickly as his brows scrunch in confusion at me.

"You think one of those is in me?" He asks now getting what I'm insinuating.

"Yes. Anything you can think of?" I ask him and he shakes his head no. Tori now comes to see what is going on as she finished everyone up.

"Lauren, what are you thinking?" She asks.

"He has one in him. It has to be, Tori."

We stare at him up and down like he's a piece of meat. There's one place that she would've had it inconspicuously placed.

"Eric, do you trust me?" I ask him.

"Yes," he says firmly.

I motion for him to sit and he obliges. I go straight for the two piercings above his eyebrow.

"Have you ever taken these out since you got them?" He answers no. "You trust me right?"

If they're true microdermals they should screw off and come out clean. If they're wireless transmitters, there will be tiny wires. I take a deep breath as I try to unscrew the first one revealing tiny wires as well as the second one having the same thing. I look to Tori as we both shake our heads. This bitch had these especially made for Eric; she must've known he wanted this piercing.

"Well?" Eric asks annoyed.

I do exactly what I did to remove the other transmitters quickly without answering him and then replacing the now hollowed jewelry back into his skin.

We show him the two tiny wireless transmitters.

"She _was_ controlling you." I say.


	32. Chapter 32

I wake covered in sweat. My father's voice haunts me as he ridicules every part of my life. Then there are also the nightmares where I'm Factionless and Eric kills me at the end. I need to calm myself though as Candor's temporary shelter for us Dauntless misfits included us taking over a huge room and lining the floors with blankets, some cots, and pillows.

I look around the room realizing some are gone to wander through Candor, while others probably went for breakfast.

Four went to Factionless. Apparently, his mother is alive and she's the head of it, which is news to all of us. It's something I still haven't wrapped my head around. They want to go up against Jeanine and Factionless will give us the numbers, but I think it's a terrible idea. I think I should be telling Four and Tris about Logan Square. I should be staying in the city fighting with Eric beside me. It's pathetic for me to feel the need to protect him yet, like I need to watch over him every second, but there's unfinished business left between us and I want that chance to find out what it is.

Because Candor didn't know exactly what to do with Eric yet, they kept him in locked room like a caged animal. He wasn't happy about it, but knowing death was the other option he agreed calmly. I should go find him instead of lying around waiting to see what Four is going to do.

The halls here are also white, but they don't have the same feel as Erudite did. They're more open and more airy. Some Candor eye me as my black clothes stick out like a sore thumb while I hear them say that I'm the one who saved Eric Coulter. I laugh to myself at their Candor bluntness.

I reach my destination of the dining hall, knowing that this is where most of the Dauntless are hanging out. I search for anyone I want to sit by and spy Tori waving her hand for me to come over. My surprise isn't hidden when I see Eric sitting with her. He just shakes his head at me as I sit next to Tori instead of his side.

"Did you sleep better?" Tori asked, "We didn't want to disturb you." She then adds looking to me concerned.

"The monsters are still there. I'll live though. Speaking of living where is the coffee is this fucking place?"

Tori gets up gripping my shoulder saying she'll get me some as now I'm left with Eric. There's still a murderous feel behind his eyes, but I can't tell if it's because of Jeanine or for Jeanine. Our orbs stare into each others but neither of us dare to speak to one another. The silence is interrupted when Tori brings me my coffee and I graciously sip it.

"We were discussing Four's plan." Tori says sipping her own coffee now.

"It's stupid. He's going to get more innocent people killed going up against that dreadful woman."

Eric sits there quietly watching our exchange. I'm surprised he's controlling himself enough to not jump down our throats about how terrible Four's idea is.

"I think we should do Aries plan…" She says and I look at her confused as to how she knew. "It was my plan too, I never could do it alone. They should do it. Especially Four and Tris. Some could go while others stayed here to go after Jeanine."

I run a hand through my hair before answering. "If we send Four and Tris outside with say ten people, that's too risky. Evelyn isn't going to like him going against her. Jeanine is still alive, she's still monitoring the city. Yes the Factionless will give this part of Dauntless the numbers it lost, but the loyalties to Jeanine will kill us all before we even touch a hair on her head unless we surprise her. Which is why I wanted to go with Eric to Dauntless."

"What do you two know about this outside the wall shit?" Eric finally buds in.

"All I know is Aries said it's safe for Divergents. She told me where I needed to go when I wanted to leave Chicago. That someone would come for me and that I would be safe, I don't know what's out there but it sure as hell sounds better then here. Somewhere where I could be safe is a sentence that I don't think will ever come true." I answer.

"If we would 'surprise' Jeanine as you say, Dyer what's the plan in your head?" He sounds like he's talking to an initiate when he says it, which pisses me off.

"Find Jeanine at Dauntless and kill her with my bare hands." I say bluntly.

"That's a death wish for you Dyer." Eric says with slight concern in his voice. Tori just looks at us not wanting to get in the middle of this particular part of the discussion.

"Someone's got to do it." I answer and get up grabbing my coffee as I leave the hall.

I'm sick of everyone sitting around waiting for Four to come back with what we are supposed to do. This faction never ran with one leader and frankly, Four's head isn't in the best mindset with his parents, Tris, and letting Eric live. One person shouldn't be making all the damn decisions.

I wish this place had a real gym instead of one filled with treadmills and other petty equipment. I need to beat the shit out of something now that I feel better. I feel like I have so much pent up anger that I'm about to burst.

I walk aimlessly around the Candor compound.

"So you just want to kill her? Just like that?" The voice says as I've noticed I stayed in an empty room too long.

"Eric, leave." I say and he chuckles.

"Back to that again are we?" He smirks at me and I death glare back. I start to walk away and he grabs my arm smoothly.

"Stop."

"What happened to my heroine? Did you lose your power or something today?" He playfully asks. I realize he's trying to help my awful mood, but it's no use. I'm too angry about how everything is panning out.

He pulls me to his chest and softly strokes my hair and back. I don't wrap my arms around him. I don't want him to console me.

I push him away and he doesn't expect my harsh reaction as he stares at me confused. Everything has finally got to me as I finally got to breathe and take it all in. There are too many rampant thoughts running through my mind.

Eric comes towards me again and full on crashes his lips into mine. They're all I can think about as they move with mine, the perfect distraction.

"Thank you," he says as he pulls away and my brows furrow. "Lauren, if it wasn't for you I'd be dead. I know I deserve to be dead, but you gave me a second chance. I've had a lot of thinking to do. The one thing I know that I should do is kill the monster. Are you in?"

* * *

The train ride to Dauntless reminds me of when I was dressed in blue. I'm stepping into the unknown once again.

Four hadn't returned when Eric and I left Candor. Tori is laying out the Logan Square option and then telling him where Eric and I went. It's risky and probably stupid for only the two of us to be doing this but Eric is going to give us the access. It's also sure as hell better then sitting around and waiting.

He's pacing the train, as I lie completely flat on the floor with my head turned out to watch the scenes pass me.

"You know I'm going to have to explain to Max why I have you with me." He bluntly puts.

"Leverage?" I propose.

"No. Will you quit lying down there for fucks sake?" He sneers.

"When you fucking stop pacing." I retort and he snarls before reaching down to pull me up by the front of my jacket. He surprisingly doesn't rip it and holds on to it as I let my arms dangle behind me until I'm upright.

"Don't start with the smart remarks back to me today." He threateningly says. I kiss him and he doesn't anticipate it. We are almost there and if this is how I have to shut him up then so be it.

His arms wrap around me as soon as the kiss is through. We are seconds out from Dauntless. We jump from the train and head for an entrance towards the side that will let us straight into the infirmary. The ladder that leads up to the gym is narrow and I fear one of our weights might break it. Eric makes me go first and I carefully climb until he gets impatient and whisper yells at me to go faster.

He's leading me places I've never known. Doors and hallways that lead to the apartments faster then any way I've taken. We safely make it to his apartment and as soon as we're inside both of us inspect the place with guns drawn. The place is clear as we rest to figure out how the hell to get into the other building undetected.

"I could just walk right in. Say I escaped." His says. I realize he's thinking out loud. For once he doesn't know how to approach this.

"What about me?"

He's pacing again as I sit on the couch.

"You stay here safe, obviously." He states at me like it was a stupid question to ask him.

"No. You need back up. I didn't fucking come here to sit on my ass." I snap at him.

"Are you saying I can't handle myself?"

"Get your ego out of the fucking way. Jeanine—Eric we have to take her out."

"We're wasting time." He kicks at the wall.

"Let's fucking go then!" I say louder then I should.

"Lauren you can't just barge in there and kill Jeanine!"

I get up, "Fucking watch me." He stops me before I take more then two steps he holds my arm but looks at me like he's actually concerned about me. It's unusual to see him like that.

"Stick to the original plan." He says sternly into my eyes.

"And if she takes you out?"

"She won't."

"Eric..."

Now he kisses me to shut me up.

* * *

I wish Eric held my hand the whole way to the testing room but instead I hold tightly to my gun. There are no guards. They have to know Eric is here and they're letting him go this far. Suddenly, Max appears as we are about to open the doors.

Eric snorts, "Well thanks for fucking coming to find me."

Max rolls his eyes, "We had other matters Eric since the Stiffs took out our whole system here. Why is she with you?"

They both look back and me. Eric lets a small smile out and I know that he's about to do something I'm not going to like.

"She lied. She's not Divergent. She saved my ass. Figured I'd owe her this. Since she was Erudite too maybe she can assist the matter."

He didn't stick to the original plan and now I have to follow whatever this is. Max leads us into the room where surprisingly most of the ten Erudite here have fixed almost everything.

I realize that they haven't moved back to Erudite because this equipment is safer here because of Dauntless security.

Then she's before us and it takes everything in me to not rip her to pieces right here. She unearths anger in me unlike anything I've felt before.

"Jeanine," Max addresses her and she looks to Eric and I curiously, "these two are here to assist with the reassessment of the facility."

"She's Divergent." She flatly states.

"She lied." Eric counters. I hold my breath seeing that Jeanine doesn't buy it.

She walks towards me with one of the wands and I see Eric scratch his arm, the signal to attack and all hell breaks loose.

I shoot Max in the chest before he even registers what is happening. Then, two Dauntless storm at me as I toss two knives each stabbing them in the major artery in their necks. From there I'm grabbing Max's gun as Eric tries to corner Jeanine and take out her two guards. Any other Erudite that were here have vanished. An arm is slipped around my neck trying to choke me and I kick the person in the crotch giving me enough time to slip out of the chokehold and grab my gun shooting the man before me, my father. I realize that I killed him and the world stops.

Jeanine is lunging at me with a syringe full of serum. I react just in time to see Eric trying to disarm another guard that appeared.

Apparently, Jeanine has read a book or two on fighting because she counteracts my punches pretty well. I go to roundhouse her when she surprises me by just pushing me and that's enough as the needle makes contact with my skin and I'm down.

It starts to paralyze me and I see Eric take the guard out by breaking his neck. The sound of crunching bones is a cruel death, but at the hand of Eric what would one expect?

Eric's eyes are bloodthirsty as he realizes Jeanine has done something to me.

All I can do is watch as the serum paralyzes my body.

He pulls a gun out. I focus on his hands around the trigger and then he doesn't hesitate as shots are fired. Jeanine's body falls backwards onto the ground.

Eric rushes over to me with shaky hands at the realization of what is happening to me. He knows what serum she injected. I look at him but I can't speak. I know what serum this is too.

There's shouting as I hear people rushing in and the familiar voices of Tori, Zeke, Tris, Four and other Dauntless. They're too late as we've already taken out Jeanine.

Eric's blue orbs stare into mine unfazed at the commotion.

"What did you do Eric!" Four yells but then they all see the gruesome sight of Jeanine's blood covered body. Eric showed no mercy.

Tori is now pulling my head to see her.

"He didn't do this to you she did, didn't she?" I can move my eyes so I move the up and down to signal a nod.

"Eric?" She asks him to confirm.

"She stabbed her with death serum. She's dying because of me." Eric says sympathetically.

"Destroy all the serum in this room now!" Four orders.

Eric holds onto my body that is getting weaker by the second.

This is the price I must pay for saving him.

The prey isn't supposed to live.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Hello! Thanks for all the support. There is a lot that goes down in this chapter, brace your selves! I'm also thinking of going back and revising the beginning chapters because my writing for this story was pretty weak in the beginning in my opinion... Have a wonderful day!**

* * *

Tori stays close brushing her hand through my hair as Eric holds me on his lap. My head rests on his leg directly looking at him. He's on the verge of tears. I'm dying and he can't stop it.

I hear more guards enter and I hear a voice I've missed so much. She grabs my shoulder and then reveals another syringe with a large needle. She stabs it directly into my heart and I twitch in pain.

"Aries what did you do!" Eric yells as he caresses my cheek and exposed neck.

"I saved her. Death serum can be reversed on Divergents of her percentile."

I'm in a weird state where my eyes are shut and I can't move but I hear everything.

 _"Move people!" Aries yells._

 _"This would've never happened if you two waited!" Four yells._

 _"Make sure all the serums here are destroyed. I'll send in a team to Erudite to finish it off there. Gather Jeanine's body. They'll want to examine it. Have the rest of them come in my truck. Eric carry Lauren."_

 _"No I'll do it." Four says and Aries scolded him. "I said Eric. Not you."_

 _"Where are we going?" Eric asks._

 _"To the Resistance."_

* * *

 **ERIC'S POV**

The Resistance is what I believed to be a rumor. It's far outside the city. Aries directs one of her guards to drive out all the way to the west end of the fence. Right now only the three of us were allowed out, or should I say Four wanted to deal with his mommy issues first even though Tris wanted to leave.

Tori is in the back of this truck with me. Lauren's body is laid in between my legs with her head on the top of my left thigh. Her breathing seems better as the serum Aries gave her counteracted the death serum, she should live but it's not certain. The serum should work though, but I don't like the odds.

"So I take it you really are the leader of this place?" Tori asks Aries in the midst of their small talk making me suddenly intrigued.

"Well, second in command to David." She answers perturbed.

"You're letting a man dictate your life?" They both laugh.

"Hell no, he didn't want me to come back here. The second the two former Erudites decided to take down Jeanine themselves I ordered a squad to come with me." How'd she know?

"How did you know that?" I ask now out loud.

"There's cameras that see everything here you know. You've all been watched your entire lives."

"That's fucking creepy."

"And oh Eric, don't expect everyone to be so kind about your welcoming. Many in The Resistance aren't happy you're still alive, regardless if you were controlled or not."

I grimace.

The truck stops as we enter into an underground tunnel.

"Get out." Aries orders and I slowly pull myself up with Lauren in my arms. The back of the truck opens with guards guns aimed at us and I look to Tori who is as confused as I am.

Aries orders them down.

"We need to sterilize them before the enter." A man of what looks to be my age says to Aries.

"I have one injected with death serum that I counteracted she needs to get to the infirmary now!

"David said..."

"I don't give a fuck what he said. You let all three of them take Lauren to the infirmary now."

"But Eric Coulter is here."

"Matthew! I am taking them there myself. Look alert David that I am back. Six of you walk with us." She says to the guards as she motions for Tori and I with Lauren to come with her. I can sense that Tori feels as uneasy as I do at this moment.

I carry Lauren bridal style, unknown to what's about to happen I hold her close.

We walk through an area where there's a giant wall that's a gate with many prying eyes at our arrival.

"It's Tori, Eric, and Lauren!"

"Who let that murdering bastard in?"

"Aries why did you let him in!"

"Coward! Glad you were raped!"

"Pretty boy hope you get lost in the Fringe!"

My blood boils at their ugly comments. Aries leads us into an elevator with only two guards present.

We are scanned to the infirmary as the nurses look at me frightened to take Lauren out of my arms.

"Eric..." Aries warns.

"Take care of her." I say as I lie Lauren down on a gurney and they take her.

Aries takes us to get "sterilized" to be here which is just a long hot shower with weird smelling soap. Clothes are left for me in all the right sizes and I wander how, when I remember that they've watched me my whole life.

Matthew walks me to Aries office and I can tell he's not intimidated by me, strange.

I sit in front of Aries desk and she types on her computer.

"I had to write my report. Anyway, Tori is reuniting with her brother. You on the other hand, I can't let you out there with these people. As much as I wish it for you I can't let it happen. They'll kill you."

I laugh, "I can handle myself."

"They know everything that you've done. They don't want you with Lauren. They don't fucking want you here Eric."

"That's not their choice. They don't know me like she does." I say irritated.

"Perhaps I should tell you something that they know that you and Lauren don't." She's nervous and I wonder what it could be that's making this woman uneasy.

"Well go on, Aries." I'm truly annoyed even more.

"Lauren is my daughter." She says directly to my face and then gets up putting a tablet in front of me. "It's all of Lauren's information. If I don't give it to you now you'll find it, so here knock yourself out."

I don't bother to look at the tablet. "You knew and you never fucking told her. Let her believe that her adoptive parents were that terrible to her just because!" I feel the anger inside me rise.

"I just found out when I left Dauntless! I've lived in two worlds Coulter. They placed me in Dauntless a year after giving my baby away to place where they wanted! I never thought it was her. I never imagined they'd send my child and I into the same city!"

"Well we see what kind of mother you are. How safe is this place for her?"

"Extremely. I need to overthrow David though now that I'm permanently back."

I see where she's getting. I don't approve of this situation though. I don't ask questions further, Aries will get me to help her fight regardless. I guess that's a part about me that people take advantage of. I don't ask questions at times like this. I don't know what her plan is, just like I didn't know Jeanine's, but I'm going to help anyways.

"You want my help?"

She nods as we are interrupted.

"Ah the Eric Coulter has come to The Resistance." The sight of the man repulses me. It must be David. He continues, "Aries what occurred today without my permission was uncalled for." He's trying to show his importance in front of me. What an ignorant bastard.

"Surprised to see you on this level David. Anyway, Dyer was vital to The Resistance. Wu deserved to know her brother is alive and well. Coulter deserves a fresh start." She simply puts.

"Prior was our priority. Not these people." He says all pissy.

"She's not going to leave. Not with the city like this now."

I feel the tension and know that these two probably don't get along well. I get up not wanting to stand whatever is going on between them any further.

"Eric, take Matthew with you. He should be outside." I roll my eyes at her and continue out the door. I only comply to take Matthew with me because I don't know my way around this compound.

The kid rambles on about how my genes need to be paneled and shit I don't care about as we head to Lauren.

One of the nurses I encountered earlier is sitting at the front desk almost waiting for me to ask about seeing Lauren.

"Come. She's stable and will make a full recovery. She's just going to be comatose for a few days to let her body recover properly." The nurse says and Matthew doesn't follow as I go with the nurse.

As I'm led into Lauren's room it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. The nurse catches me staring at it in awe and explains.

"The ceiling is covered in equipment that monitor her whole body for any signs of distress. She has an old fashion IV in to rid her system of any toxins. We also have two bans on her left wrist that monitor her heart and blood pressure. We are very advanced here. She's receiving the best care possible." I nod my head at the nurse as he leaves me with Lauren.

I sit in the chair across from her bed. I know that according to studies she may be able to hear me in this state, but I don't want to say something that she won't hear. It seems pointless to me. Instead, I push the chair to be next to the right side of her body and gently I touch her arm and face.

* * *

"If everyone here knows you're going to have to tell her." I say as I eat dinner with Aries it's desperate but since I obviously won't be making any friends here soon, I see no other option.

"She's going to ask questions that I don't know the answers to." Aries harshly states.

"Who's her father?" I ask causally not thinking that it will cause Aries to place her foot directly against my crotch.

"I asked a simple question." I state.

"Never ask me that again are we clear." She adds some pressure and I nod yes.

Matthew comes to sit by us. There's something about him that seems off to me.

"Lauren's vitals look like she'll be waking soon."

"Thanks" Aries says flatly.

"He ordered me to. I'm sorry." Matthew states before leaving I look to Aries.

"Fucking Erudite curiosity. They ran a panel on her genetics without my authority. We don't call people Divergent here it's genetically pure. She's only 97 percent pure. Which puts her into an average job here. I'll explain more later with her. I don't feel like repeating it."

"I've refused to let them do a panel on me." I don't want to know what I am; I don't even know who I am anymore let alone that.

"You're eventually going to have no choice."

* * *

I hear Lauren before I see her and I chuckle to myself.

"I'm fine. Gosh." Lauren says as she sits on the edge of her bed fully dressed in black pants with a grey shirt, the typical attire here. The nurse from the other day is trying to tell her that she can't leave the infirmary yet when she spies Aries and I.

She runs to Aries first and hugs her. I can't help but think of how they're mother and daughter.

She comes to me next and I'm engulfing her to my chest not caring that other can see me. I almost lost her. I kiss her forehead, as she holds on tighter.

"She shouldn't be leaving the infirmary yet, Aries." The male nurse says as if he'll get Aries to understand to make Lauren stay.

"Under what circumstances?"

"To monitor her..." Aries cuts him off faster then a knife. "Bullshit. She's been out for three days. We both know she's more then well."

Lauren lets go of me but holds my hand. It makes me uncomfortable since we're in public but this isn't Dauntless anymore.

"He still needs paneled." The nurse says and I glare at him.

Lauren looks confused but she doesn't question it.

Aries dismisses him, "Later. I have to take them to their living quarters."

* * *

The living quarters turns to be a decent sized apartment with a living area, bathroom, and bedroom only. Lauren and I both look around at the mundane place.

"I assigned you both to this room, didn't think that would be a problem..." Aries trails off. It's not for me but I look at Lauren who seems unsure.

"I could stay with you Aries." She says and I want to scream that the woman has been lying. That is the only reason she's been so nice when she usually hates my guts.

"Lauren." She warns, scolded rather like a true mother to her child.

* * *

Watching Lauren feels as if I'm watching a toddler trying to figure out how things work. She's so conflicted. She's always been like this though, so wrapped in her thoughts at times that she forgets her surroundings. She's pacing and occasionally runs a hand through her brown hair. I've asked her if she wants to shower and she's said no. I've asked her if she wants me to leave and she's said no. I'm starting to think she's trying to figure out something that she overheard in her coma, it's the only thing that would make sense as to why she's so bothered.

My stomach growls reminding me that to get food we have to leave this room and eat in the dining area. I have to break Lauren out of her thoughts she needs to eat too.

"Laur," I say gently from my seat on the couch she doesn't answer. I curse at myself for having to get up and probably shake her out of it.

I approach her and she stops. "Why is Aries suddenly so understanding and nice? Why are they letting you walk freely around here? What the fuck is this place Eric? What's a panel you need done?"

I place both my hands on her shoulders, "Nose, shut the fuck up and let's go get food."

"Eric...I have questions. I'm allowed to have questions I've been unconscious for three days and they didn't kill you." She says the last part in surprise and I shake my head at her crazy thoughts.

"Thanks for that. Look we both need to eat and then we can come back here and I'll tell you everything."

* * *

The dreaded time comes to explain everything I can to Lauren. I tell her not to trust David. I have to tell her Aries is her mother, because I know she's not going to do it. There's a room here that holds everyone's information and I can't let Lauren find out like that. I also don't trust Aries here and want to put a wedge between her and Lauren. It is selfish, but necessary to keep Lauren safe for the moment.

"What else aren't you telling me?" She senses my hesitation.

"I shouldn't be telling you but I'm going to. You can't hate me for it."

She rolls her eyes, "I'm not going to hate the only thing that's going to guarantee me a warm bed." She smiles and it's contagious as I smile back before getting serious.

"Lauren, Aries is your mother." I say it bluntly, more then what I wanted to.

She freezes unable to process what I've just said. I get up and head to the bedroom. There's no need to try to coddle her. Logically she'll figure out that all the pieces fit.

I almost fall asleep when she comes into the bedroom. My eyes are closed and I feel her near me like she wants to wake me.

"I'm awake," I say to stop her from contemplating if she should wake me or not.

"Will you show me how to get to her office? I don't want to call Matthew..."

I nod at her as I wipe the sleep from my eyes slowly getting up and putting my boots back on. She waits for me eagerly at the doorstep.

Matthew is outside of Aries office and when he sees us approaching he's alerting Aries.

Lauren storms into her office ahead of me and slams the door shut in front of my face just as Matthew gets out in time.

"This is perhaps a bad time, but I would need you for five minutes to get your panel done or they will force you too..." He trails off. I laugh to myself when I realize he's holding his breath in waits of my answer.

"Fine. Five minutes. Let's go get this stupid thing done."

* * *

They explain all this panel and genetic pure shit to me better as I get tested. Here they decide whether your genes are pure and how much making you what we considered Divergent. Then there's damaged with a percentage of how much. If you results favor one way that's what they label you as.

My results are 57 percent damaged. More then half my genes are fucked up. Well that explains my character. I keep in mind that Lauren's 97 percent pure, meaning she's close to being what they want but not exactly.

I wonder who they want that's completely pure and it dawns on me that the younger Stiff is more pure then Lauren supposedly. I wonder if that's why The Resistance, rather David said she was priority.

Matthew appears and startles me causing me to almost punch him.

"Sorry. You can pick a job here next week if you decide to stay. Lauren went back to your living quarters." He looks uneasy, as he knows what I'm going to ask.

"What happened between Aries and Lauren?" I stand as intimating as I can get.

"Umm...they aren't talking. It was bad. You should talk to Lauren." He rambles off quickly.

"Why do you think I'm asking you dumbass? She's not going to tell me!"

"Perhaps you shouldn't know then."

He disappears quickly into a room I don't have access to. What a prick.

Lauren is in the bedroom as I softly shut the door behind me. I don't know how to approach her or this.

She sits with what one would assume is a piece of glass when in fact it's a tablet. She's tapping away on it and I can only imagine what she's up to. I stand in the doorway watching her, as she doesn't budge.

"I have access to the network and everyone's panels to figure out what the fuck this all means." She bluntly states and I decide to join her in bed.

"How'd you acquire this?"

"Stole it from Aries' office."

Of course she fucking did. "You know that has a tracker on it?"

"Yeah. Aries figured out I had it like 5 minutes ago and requested Matthew to retrieve it. He's too fucking scared to come get it."

I watch her.

"Aries doesn't know who my father is and it's not like technology exists or anything to find that out."

"It should've showed in your panel. My parents did."

She looks me dead in the eye, "Mines omitted."

There's a knock at our door and we both look knowing who it is as Lauren hands me the tablet before getting up to answer it.

"Hi, I'm Nita. You have a tablet that belongs to Aries." The woman says annoyed that she has to fetch this from us.

"Nope," Lauren says and slams the door in her face.

She paces back and fourth in the bedroom and I realize her breathing is uneven. She's having a panic attack.

I wrap my arms around her trying to stop her as she fights me to get off. I feel the tears on me before I see them and she's erratic.

"Everything is a mess! The people who raised me aren't my parents. My real mother has known about it and happened to be someone who looked out for me in Dauntless but she can't fucking be bothered to tell me who my father is or at least to find out! There's something off here meanwhile Evelyn's turning into Jeanine and who the fuck knows what she'll do to Chicago! Then there's you and me. You said you loved me but was that because you were about to die or what the fuck is all this Eric? Huh? Look at me like I'm crazy! Love me or leave me!"

I move away from her now. Realizing that I haven't helped her in any of this. I've made things difficult. She didn't add it but she stopped me from being killed and she was shot and death serumed within a week. I'm not a man to take blame, but I feel like I'm responsible for some of this. Like a coward, I leave Lauren in her distraught state unable to bring the comfort to her that she needs.

I round the corner to Aries and hit her shoulder hard as I walk past her. I don't know where I'm headed. I feel frustrated too. I shouldn't be alive. Do I love Lauren? Well yeah, I think so, but looking back at the relationship we shared now knowing she's Divergent makes me question everything.

I find myself at an abandoned part of the building kicking more of it to crumbles.

I'm a coward.

"Look what we have here. Kid, you never will change."

That voice frightens me because I shouldn't be hearing it. I turn slowly with widen eyes.

It's Amar.


	34. Chapter 34

**Eric's POV**

"My partner told me about your relationship with Lauren from what his sister told him."

"Yeah," I say sipping the beer Amar brought me.

"Lauren's quite the warrior. Aries wouldn't tell you this obviously," he gives me the look as to why and of course I know, "Lauren's reputation here is in question too. As she is the one who convinced Four not to kill you and then she took their prized Tris as hostage. Certain people hate her."

In the end people hate her because of me though.

"What's the deal with the Stiff around here?"

He chuckles as he sips his beer, "she's proof for David that the Chicago experiment worked. She's supposedly 100 percent pure. She gets here he's going to make her his personal lab rat."

"Amar." George enters and I realize I didn't pick the perfect secluded spot.

They nod at each other as George looks to me, "David's goons took Lauren."

"For what!" I yell, more annoyed then mad I know she can defend herself.

"She's the closest thing he's got to being pure from Chicago. Aries is giving him hell. The war in here might break tonight." He looks to Amar and he shakes his head in disbelief.

"Come on Eric, time to teach you how to fight in here while we still can."

* * *

"He's seriously not apart of this community!"

"He is so shut the fuck up. I run this part of it solider." Amar says threatening to the man as he hands me a gun.

"Use the drones. Turn your headgear on and left hand controls drones. Get used to it, Coulter." Nita says as she places the headset on me. There's something about her I don't care for.

I go through the practice center in record time and smile smugly after I'm done.

"Yeah let's see if you do that good in real life." Nita says annoyed, as I hand the gun back to her.

"I'll need that." I remark.

"For what?"

"To blow David's head off for subjecting Lauren to who the fuck knows!"

Other members start to whisper, something about me not changing and I blow them off as Nita shakes her head at me.

"Aries will beat you to that. You can't enter David's office without being pure." She walks away as Amar stands there.

"Chicago is getting bad Eric," he says.

"And?"

"Thought you'd care because it's your home."

"Not anymore." I say as I pass him turning my headpiece off and taking it off to place it into my jacket as I walk once again to Aries office.

Matthew isn't outside so I knock and she tells me to come in. She must've thought I was someone else cause she slams her laptop shut at my appearance. She asks me why I haven't gotten Lauren out and I ask her the same, since she's the one with fucking authority around here.

She comes off with, "We need to send a team into Chicago. Are you in?"

"Obviously." There's apart of me that still wants to see it one last time and wants to gather something's from my apartment.

"They are requesting we take out Evelyn and bring Four, Tris, Christina, and who ever else we can grab here."

I laugh, "Who's going to give order to these people? Who's going to be their leader?"

"That's not up for discussion at the moment."

I roll my eyes, "Well I sure as hell hope it isn't you since you're already deceitful."

She's charging at me and as I go to react she cuts me off my somehow kicking me to the ground with her hands around my throat.

"You shouldn't be fucking living. Remember that before I send you back to Chicago with your memory wiped and let the Factionless have you, again." She says inches from my face.

"Do it. See if I care." I spit at her feet.

"Do not test me Eric Coulter."

"You can't do it." I smirk.

"Why you bastard?"

"Lauren." I proudly say with a shit-eating grin on my face. She backs away enough that I get up to leave.

Matthew stops me telling me the Lauren is now with Tori in the dining area and that she's okay. Why is this bastard always lurking around?

* * *

"We have to go to Chicago and take Evelyn out!" Lauren says as I approach her, Tori, George, and Amar.

"She's gotten feisty!" Amar says to me as I sit next to Lauren. I gently squeeze her shoulder as she looks at me, "What do you think we should do?" I'm taken back by her asking me. "You shouldn't be asking me that question. I'll go with whatever you all decide."

"And the dog put his tail between his legs finally." George utters with Tori and Amar lightly hitting him. I roll my eyes and ignore my instinct to go over this table and punch him. I remind myself that he's not worth it.

"We should bring Aries into this." Tori states. "No!" Lauren and I are saying at the same time. Neither of us trusts her right now. Tori looks at me confused while Amar says what's happening, "She's got a vendetta here. Glad you two see it. These two," he looks to Tori and George, "are stuck up her ass too far to see it."

George leaves with Tori soon following. Lauren's quiet probably thinking as I look to Amar.

"You probably shouldn't even go Eric. These people still hate you."

"Like I give any fucks." I mutter.

* * *

I have so much pent up anger and nowhere to take it out on, except the abandoned parts of this building that I'm sure there are more of yet. I convince Lauren to come even though she seems off after being with David. She hasn't said what occurred and I'm not sure that I want to know without going after David and choking him to death with my bare hands.

We find a large enough area for the both of us. Lauren may not like what I have in mind but I'm going to push her into it.

"Spar with me." I say removing my jacket. She looks at me unsure, "This isn't the place."

"Like hell it isn't." I go at her and there's a second where I think she's going to let me collide my fist into her stomach until she pulls out one of her fancy handstand kick things and avoids the blow.

"Coulter." She warns and I can tell I pissed her off by going at her, so I do it again.

This time I head for her throat. She ducks and punches me hard in the stomach and kicks my feet out from under me. I land on top of her pinning her purposely.

"You fucker. You planned this." She's angry.

I smirk, "Well it's not a bad view Dyer."

I crash my lips on to hers. There is a hunger burning inside of me to be close to her. It's not going to go as far as I want it to, but this is enough for now. I pull her up with our lips still attached and she straddles her legs around my waist.

I don't know how long we stay like that but it's blissfully uninterrupted.

"Eric," she says softly grazing my cheek with her thumb, "we need to talk about this." She kisses me.

I groan. I'd rather tell her Aries is her mother ten times over before admitting anything else to her. It's not like I fucking told a room full of Dauntless I love her. I roll off of her lying next to her on the floor.

"I just don't know what we will face. Hypothetically, we both could die and that would be the end of that."

I groan again and try to concentrate on all the cracks in the ceiling.

"Eric Coulter, what are you and I?" She asks with a serious tone.

"Lauren. I don't really want to discuss this honestly." She's on top of me within seconds. I don't even try to pry her off.

"Do you think I want any of what's going on in my life right now? I have no one Eric. I think I have you but then you go and walk away when I need you most. My life is pretty fucked up right now. If we go into war and one of us doesn't make it...I just need to know where we stand. Please. It's constantly been going through my mind."

I close my eyes and sigh. Not fighting her off of me because there's no point.

"I care about you, okay?" I say harsher then what I meant.

"That's not enough, not anymore." She says as she gets off of me. I can tell she feels defeated but I'm not about to get my emotions in check tonight. There's too much pent up anger inside me. I could tell her that but I don't want to seem weak. Avoiding the situation is better. She starts to walk away and like an ass I don't follow her.

* * *

 **Lauren's POV**

I'm pissed at too many people. There's too many thoughts running through my head and I've had enough.

Aries being my mother has thrown everything off. She knows who my father is and won't tell me. She even had the nerve for them to omit my parents from the records.

I'm wandering through the halls of this place. Thinking about what David said how I was almost a miracle but still considered damaged. It doesn't matter, but the way he said it haunts me.

"Lauren!" A voice shouts I turn to be greeted by the same woman who tried to get Aries tablet back.

"I wanted to show you how to use the drones since I showed Eric earlier." My heart pings at his name and I internally curse myself for that.

"Are there guns involved?"

"Yes you get to shoot at targets." She smirks back.

I sigh, fine let's do this. I nod to her as she leads me a different direction then where I was headed.

"Hey Nita!" A male says to her, from first glance he's got vicious bright green eyes.

"Fuck off." She says as she leads me down stairs to an area with guns.

"Who's he?" I ask unable to curb my curiosity.

"Demetri, stay away from him." She says as she hands me a jacket with 3 circular objects attached to the back of it and a gun.

* * *

I eat dinner alone and head back to my shared living space. Hoping that Eric isn't there.

He's sitting on the couch with his tablet and doesn't even move when I walk in. I want to throw something at him.

Instead I take a shower to cool off and crawl in a still empty bed.

I feel him play with my hair an unusual thing for him to do. He must feel bad, good.

* * *

I wake up curled into his chest and hate my unconscious state for being pulled into him. He's still asleep as I listen to his breathing counting the beats per minute, until I realize that it's creepy of me to do and stop. He's a peaceful beast as I gently remove myself from him.

I'm going to get answers and find out who my father is; even though that's just one of the things on my large list.

Amar greets me at breakfast and I make small talk with him until asking him what I really want to know.

"Where's the records room?"

He laughs. "You put up a good front there. I'm not at liberty to answer that."

I frown, "Then who is?"

He leans in, "Find a rule breaker, they'll let you in on the 8th floor west wing." He winks and gets up leaving me alone with my coffee.

I make it to the 8th floor without trouble until I'm almost there.

"You. Of course you're trouble too." He comes in front of me with those green orbs staring at me. I stand like the Dauntless solider I was trained to be. I'll take him out if need be.

"I don't believe we've formally been introduced," he holds out his hand, "I'm Demetri." I look at his hand confused. "Ah," he laughs, "I forget this wasn't a greeting in Chicago."

Annoyed I introduce myself, "I'm Lauren, but you know that."

He grins, "Oh of course I do. So what are you doing wandering on this floor?"

I roll my eyes, "Could ask the same to you."

"This is a very special floor for very special people." He says slowly as if I'm a child and I resist the urge to punch him in the jaw.

"Clearly I fit that whole 'special people' thing if I made it this far." I know they restrict access. They watch everything. I breezed through doors I shouldn't have.

"Okay sweetheart, I'll stand right here and see if you get in, you won't and then I'll have to alert David there's been a compromise."

I seriously want to punch him, "As you wish." I say now walking to the door that opens and locks behind me. I wave out smiling to Demetri as I take it he doesn't have the access to get in here.

Time to get answers.


	35. Chapter 35

**Lauren's POV**

I feel as if a dark presence has overtaken me. Every action I've done has been selfish and cruel. It's almost as if I'm like _Eric_.

Finding out who my true parents are has rattled me to my core. A dark side has been emitted and I trust no one. I haven't talked to anyone. I've eaten my meals in silence. I've showered when Eric was in the dead of sleep. My presence hasn't been apparent. I wish they'd kill everyone in Chicago so no one would remember me and I'd have a reason to never return there.

It's as if someone turns down the volume in the dining area when Eric enters it. The second I hear people get quiet I know he's here. I think he's found me to confront me about my actions but instead he walks pasts my table and sits with Matthew and Xavier whom it seems he's befriended somehow.

Nita makes the effort to sit by me but she's mostly greeted with silence. I appreciate what she's trying to do, but I'm just not me.

"You know he's made friends with them to keep tabs on you." She blankly states.

I shrug and try to eat faster now that she's trying to make conversation.

"Xavier is high up in surveillance. He's probably watching you for him."

I drop my fork with more intensity then I intended and get up. As I walk out I catch Nita getting up to join them. Eric has more friends then me in here, who would've thought.

* * *

 **Eric's POV**

"She knows." Nita states as she sits down with us, "it explains her behavior."

"She's been trying to fucking ignore me." And it's pissing me off.

"Dickhead should've stopped her from going into that room." Xavier states.

Matthew speaks up now, "She had access though. I think David let her in wanting her to know."

"He's a dickhead too." Xavier states and I shake my head at him. He's blunt and not afraid of trouble.

"Xavier have you found me where the fuck she's sleeping?" I ask trying to puzzle this together.

"We lose her. I'm thinking the wreckage. I can help you find her tonight?" He offers and I don't want to accept the help because I don't need it, but he has been helpful and someone else that seems okay talking to me.

An alarm goes off and I borrow my brows at what the noise is. Xavier and Nita get up and leave. It's Matthew who answers my internal question, "Something happened at The Fringe. All soldiers are called when the alarm sounds, so about 60 of them go."

* * *

Surveillance is where I was placed to work since they won't let me be a soldier. They can't risk putting a gun in my head. I've murder innocents. It makes sense for the moment. I spend most time watching where Lauren goes, which is usually our living quarters and then disappearing.

I can't figure her out and it's driving me up a fucking wall.

I find Matthew sitting in the bunk area on his tablet. I clear my throat as I stand next to him but he doesn't say or do anything so I sit on the bunk next to him.

"She accessed her full records. David's been meeting with her. Then she disappears, which I thought was impossible in this place." He turns to face me, "I was wrong. We need to find out where she's going."

I frown at the obvious. I notice he's watching a feed of the soldiers in The Fringe with that Demetri bitch leading it.

"You shouldn't be watching this." He states.

"Are you going to stop me?"

"No." He says flatly.

I watch with him as people of The Fringe are pushed, grabbed, and even shot. I say nothing to Matthew but I feel the tension that he knows he should explain. What the fuck kind of operation is this? Children are grabbed and they're taking them inside a building. There's a notification on his tablet that Aries is requesting me and I groan. Whatever she wants it can't be good. Matthew offers to go with me. I don't understand why he offers at first when I realize this is what a friend to do. The little bastard thinks that highly of me, how kind.

To say Aries' face is murderous when I walk in is an understatement. She makes me sit and yells at Matthew to get out and shut the door. I sit poised and expressionless, letting her think that I'm my usual annoyed self that I've been called in here, but actually I'm a little afraid of what she's going to say.

"Lauren hasn't been sleeping in the living quarters I assigned both of you for two weeks and you failed to mention it to me! I had to have Demetri tell me what you and your newfound friends were up to!" She yells, so Demetri is a snitch too, that's informative.

"You're spying on me? Don't you think I've had enough of that in Chicago?" It's a good counter to her attack for the moment, but it doesn't hold.

"I don't give a fuck about you! What did you do to my daughter, Coulter?"

I want to snarl in her face, as she stands smug with both hands propping her up on her desk. She thinks she has some claim on Lauren now just because they share the same DNA and I will not let her try to take advantage of that now when I've grown up with Lauren, because I have some sort of sick claim to her as well. I stand to challenge her and let my not so carefully thought out words leave my mouth.

"I don't need to explain myself to _you_. Did you ever think that something's wrong with her because of you? Or this whole fucking place?" I slam my hand on her desk and she comes at me once again.

"You're a pissy little ant I can now step on in this place and not many would miss. You are the scum and rot that extends into The Fringe. Don't fucking disrespect me again. What is going on with my daughter?" She's in my face and I laugh out loud hoping the onions I had on my sandwich for lunch lace my breath and get inhaled through her nose.

"Don't. Fucking. Call. Me. In. Here. Again." I spit, "I will not be the middle between you and Lauren. Get her your goddamned self Aries." I walk out fast knowing that she might follow but she doesn't.

I need to find Lauren.

I start for the ruble to the left instead of the right this time and hope that I find her.

I do and she's shocked.

I realize she has a tablet; Aries tablet, and assume she just saw and her everything since she has access to the security cameras yet.

"She threatened to erase your memory." She says causally as I sit next to her on a rock.

"Seems that's a common thing around here." I say and she looks at me confused. They cut her off of _that_ feed.

"What are you talking about?"

"They take kids from The Fringe, wipe their memories, and then bring them here for a new start; all while killing their parents beforehand." I say staring in front of me.

"We shouldn't have left Chicago and I shouldn't have trusted Aries." She says suddenly.

"You know who your real father is don't you?" I ask unsure if she'll tell me anything about that subject.

"Yes." She says softly and I take it, not wanting to push her any further since we are already on glass.

I hate that she so easily admits the soft side of myself. I put my arm around her shoulder and bring her into my chest. I can tell she wants to cry but she calms her breathing. I pull her into my lap completely as I play with her hair. She's curled into the crook of my neck and for once I feel peaceful and content with her like this.

"Eric," she says into my chest and I respond back to her. "I can't live like this. I want the memory serum." I pull her away as I feel an ache in my gut at her words. She wants to forget me.

"Coward." I say harshly as if she was one of my initiates. She's pulling away and standing as I curse at myself for saying that to her when she's in this state. We just look at each other unable to react. I know what I need to say to prove her worth.

"I love you. Please don't say that you want to forget who you are not because of whoever your real father is and this shit hole." I say to her calmer then my previous words, my gut aches that I've just admitted that I love another human being.

"You love the girl in Dauntless who wasn't Divergent to your knowledge." She shakes her head not wanting to accept it.

"No," I step to her and she doesn't back away, "I fucking love the beautiful strong woman in front of me who has her world ripped apart." If Four could only hear me now. She shakes her head as tears escape and I want nothing more but to forever hold her in my wrath.

"Go Eric! Leave like you always do!" She yells pushing at me, and that does it as I pull her in swallowing her whole and never letting go, still cursing to myself that she has me wrapped around her finger like this.

* * *

I bring her and I dinner to our living quarters after I skillfully avoided everyone I knew. She picks at her food and I can tell she hasn't eaten much in two weeks.

"What will you actually eat?" I ask catching her off guard, "You aren't eating are you?"

"I've been sick to my stomach…" She trails off and I realize she thought I was going to yell. I can't be an ass to her at this moment. I have to swallow my pride.

"At least eat the chicken it's bland and protein."

I finish my meal before her as she still plays around with her food and I contemplate force-feeding her or killing whoever her father is that has her this upset.

I need to get into the fucking records room.

* * *

Lauren accompanies me to breakfast and my usual table is shocked but they don't comment on it. Everyone is quiet unsure of what to say now that Lauren is here, what idiots.

Matthew comes running to us as I now notice his presence missing. "We've got company!" He says out of breath.

"Company?" Nita asks first.

He looks uneasy ask he speaks to me, "Your friends went over the wall and found the way to The Resistance. They're in decontamination now."

"Who all made it?" Lauren asks Matthew curiously.

"Tris, Four, Peter, Caleb, and Christina. I have to attend their introduction." And he leaves.

I groan knowing that I'll have to see Four and Tris.

"Former Dauntless, give us a personal run down on these new fish to the pond." Xavier says with his arms crossed leaning back into the chair.

Lauren and I look at each other as she explains, "Tris and Caleb maybe brother and sister but he's a fucking sadistic Erudite at heart. Trust Christina; don't trust Peter hell don't even go near the prick. Lastly, I don't need to explain Tris and Four's romance or Eric's immense hate for Four." I smirk at her accurate portrayal of them.

"Wait, aren't you supposed to know all of this because of the cameras?" I ask, curious.

"Gosh Eric, we don't fucking spend all day watching you piss and kill people." Xavier says and I glare at him. "Ah, there's that look," he turns from me to Lauren, "Lauren, sweetheart, would he actually be able to kill me with his bare hands since he's not a big boy who can have a weapon?"

She doesn't get to answer as I lunge across the table at him. Set off by his tone. He was asking for the trouble and I have no problem handing it to his ass.

"Really Eric." It's a voice I haven't heard as I punch Xavier back in the stomach, Christina. Both of us get off each other, bloody noses and all after fighting each other freely for a good five minutes.

"Well hello, being a former Dauntless I'm surprised you'd make such a comment. Afraid of blood?" Xavier asks as he wipes some of his blood directly on her face. The man has balls and I admire that. She walks away to join the others at a table immediately taking a napkin to her face.

"Was that necessary?" Lauren asks Xavier and I.

"Yes it was. Now if you excuse me I have to go clean up for work. Good day!" Xavier walks quickly away avoiding the stares from getting out of a fight in one piece with me.

* * *

"Why can't you work in the infirmary here?" I ask Lauren as she fixes up my lip in our bathroom.

"They made up some bullshit that I'll be a former Erudite having access to serums and that's too risky." She says annoyed. She's more herself today and it's nice to see.

"Bullshit. They have me in security. Where'd they place you?"

"Nowhere, courteously of Aries. I'm emotional unstable to work according to her report, hilarious right?"

"What?"

"Because I stole a leader's tablet and can't accept who my father and mother truly are. David's ruling on that one and Aries agreed. There." She says as she puts the supplies away done tending to my bloody self.

"I hate them both."

"Me too."

* * *

"Eric!" Four shouts behind me in the hallway.

What does the fucking Stiff want from me? I turn to him brows raised as we both stop with enough distance between the two of us.

"What's with this place?" He says lowly looking around like someone's going to come at him for questioning it.

"What do you mean? Not happy with the welcome you got?" I smirk.

"Tris is with David." Of course the bastard has made her his lab rat already.

I laugh, "You won't be seeing much of her." I start to walk away and he grabs my shoulder. I turn fast ready to punch him. "Careful Stiff." I warn.

"What does he want with her?"

"She's what he's been looking for. She's supposedly 100 percent pure." He looks at me like I've hit a nerve, good, and then he slowly walks the opposite direction with his signature brooding walk.

I watch him; curious as to what direction he'll take. He storms towards the leaders offices, probably to whine to Aries.

"Are you two already at each other?" I turn.

I look at Lauren now standing next to me with her arms crossed over her chest. I roll my eyes and begin to walk again as she follows.

"David has Tris already." I say as we head to our living quarters.

"I'm not surprised." She says simply.

Xavier is going to let me into the secure records room in twenty minutes. I wasn't expecting to run into Lauren and now I have to get away without her figuring out where I'm going. Shit.

She lies on the couch visibly exhausted. "What were you up to?"

"Nita and Xavier went on a run and invited me. Let's just say they decided to give me a Resistance welcome." I sit on the arm of the chair.

"You good?" I ask carefully.

"Physically yeah. Emotionally...I'm still working on it." I rub my hand from her forehead to her hair.

"I've got to meet up with Xavier soon, where will you be?"

"Here. I'm not moving. David doesn't need me anymore now that he has Tris."

* * *

Xavier's plan is shaky but we get further then what I thought. It's four sets of locked doors before getting even near where the records room is. Neither of us says anything, as we act causal going through the doors.

We get into a large open area where I see a guard's back to us as his looking down the other corridor. According to what Xavier told me, the records room should be straight ahead.

"Fuck." Xavier mumbles as the guard greets us.

"Xavier why are you bringing trash in here?" The older man snaps.

"Oh my apologizes I thought this was the room since there's trash in front of me." Xavier says to Demetri who know scowls at him.

"If I check I'm sure neither of you have access to this room." I roll my eyes as Xavier huffs at his statement.

"I have full clearance to the records room jackass and Eric here has temporary clearance." I don't question the last part, who knows what Xavier did.

"Fine. Go ahead I'll love putting bullets in both of you." I smirk knowing that I could hit him faster with the knife in my pocket before a bullet would even emit from his gun.

"Aw Demetri, don't waste your time, you don't have much of it left." Xavier spits as we head forward to the room.

Xavier scans his card as a voice announces his name with "access granted." He nods to me that it's my turn and I scan the card he gave me, "Coulter, Eric. Access Granted." I look up really questioning if I truly just got in a pure gene only zone.

"Hey dumbass, get in here!" Xavier calls from the other side of the room. I step in and over the where he is happily tapping away at a screen in the air.

"How?" I ask him and he knows what I mean.

He looks up at me smugly, "You've made a friend Dauntless. Congrats." He taps something on the screen as I read my name on the screen, "Now this is your profile. It has all your records family, friends, enemies, medical, gene facts, and all that bullshit."

He lets me takeover as I look through it quickly. "Show me hers." I say removing my hands from the screen and not looking at him. He brings it up and steps away to let me tap into the full profile.

I scroll till I get to her family history.

Mother: Aries Fulton

Father: Demetri Ayer

That bastard is her father.


	36. Chapter 36

**ERIC'S POV**

"He doesn't know." Aries says calmly as I get through screaming at her.

"I know he's hated because he's a bastard but what's the real reason?" I'm frustrated at this whole situation.

"You better sit for this one." I roll my eyes but oblige as she motions to the chair near me. I'm surprised she's still not yelling at me for getting in the records room.

"I'm only telling you all of this because I already told Lauren, not because I care for you. Anyway, Demetri and I were very young. One thing leads to another, as we were both on squads out into the Fringe when it was bigger. David had wanted to send people into Chicago. Demetri and I were close and ended up sleeping together after a really difficult night out on a raid. That was it. He was a bastard then but I saw the good in him. Sound familiar?" She pauses but I don't give her the reaction she wants so she continues, "I ended up having a fight with Demetri and we didn't speak. I was with another man when I found out I was pregnant. David was angry and kept me locked up practically telling me that I wasn't keeping my baby and I better get used to that idea because I was getting sent to Chicago the second she was born." She pauses and I stay quiet.

"I never knew where my baby girl went. I didn't even think they'd place her in Chicago with the other places there is. I had suspicions that it was her when she started to become close with Tori and I. When I escaped Chicago and came back here after all those years it was confirmed to me that Lauren was my daughter. She had talked about how terrible her adoptive parents were and Coulter; I realized how terrible I am. Lauren hates me now. You have to promise me that you won't let her go after Demetri."

"You've told me nothing about him though. How do I know he's such a bastard?"

"He's the one who kills those children's parents in the Fringe he presented that idea to David and it's been in order since. He's David's right hand. You are scum but you aren't as bad as him and don't let that get to your ego. He harasses Nita and any woman here. He still feels he's superior to me even though I am a leader here."

I contemplate what I should do next and then I'm to my feet, pausing before I exit her office.

I don't know what to do.

I head to our living quarters it's time to get this all out in the open. I can't wait this out between Lauren and I anymore.

She stares at me as I enter there must be a look on my face that gives my intentions away.

"What did you do?" It's more of a statement then a question. There's nothing to deny.

"I went to the records room yesterday." I go for the alcohol and drink from the bottle not bothering to pour any into a glass.

"You shouldn't have gotten in there." She says trying to make sense of it all. I stay silent while drinking. "You accessed my records to find out who my father is didn't you?" Her tone worries me. "Eric fucking tell me what you did!" She's snapped.

"I had to know who it was. I'm not a patient man. I knew you needed time and I'm sorry but I couldn't fucking give you it, so I found out for myself." I say it harshly.

"He's scum Eric. He's a murderer."

I sadistically laugh as I approach her, "So the fuck am I Dyer."

She doesn't respond. "That's why you shouldn't love me. I've done nothing but fuck everything up. I'm a murderer. I'm lethal. I could kill you right now with my bare hands." I say looking to her neck hoping to scare her off.

"Stop trying to scare me." I push her against the wall as the glass that she once had in her hand shatters to the floor.

"Your father and I have a lot in common. Is that what has you so bothered?" I say directly into her ear. "You're physically sick from finding out who he is and realizing I'm not much different."

"Stop it!" She says as she pushes at me and I don't budge. She needs to understand how bad I am. I will scream at her until she faces that I'm just like him.

"I've killed hundreds of people. I was a leader of genocide Lauren. Don't you get it? I'm just like Demetri." I stare her directly in the eyes as if to melt the words into them with a deafening stare.

"You care about me though don't you? There's glimpses of you that shows you have a heart buried in all the muscle. He doesn't have one and you do. That's the difference." She's careful with her words but not as careful as I'm about to be with mine.

I shake my head, "Lauren I'm not a good man."

"I love you." She uses those words as a challenge and I roll my eyes still not letting her move. She tries to kiss me and that's when I back away. I contemplate running like I always do, but realize I can't this time because it will only make things worst.

There's a knock on our door and we both look towards it but ignore it.

"I know you're both in there!" Xavier yells from the other side.

I groan as I storm over and swing it open giving him a look that could combust him.

"Okay killer. We have a problem." And he's pushing himself past me into our living room. He looks at her state then mine. "I hate to interrupt but we're overthrowing David in a matter of minutes and I thought you two would want to be in on the action."

Lauren moves towards him, "What? Why now?" She asks with a calmer voice.

"He's trying to kill everyone in Chicago. Four finally convinced Tris to make a move, so he gathered us."

"How does Four know anything?"

"Tris and him had a fight, shocker, David tried to use her to get more investments for this place and the council revealed his true intentions to Tris though she's still stupid. War is breaking. What the fuck are you two in or not?" He's annoyed and I roll my eyes.

Both of us agree as he tells us to meet him in twenty minutes. I stare at Lauren the second he leaves and she's gravitating towards me as I do to her. We both know that something could go very wrong, as our lips meet not caring about the previous discussion. The taste of her lips is just what I needed. I have her as close as possible to me right now as her hands are tightly around my neck with my one at the back of her neck and other around her waist.

She pulls away leaving me confused. "That's incase I don't get to do that again."

"You can't go after him if the opportunity arises, understood?" It comes out as if she's an initiate.

"You can't stop me." She's leaving as I run after her. I catch up enough to grab her arm.

"I mean it Lauren, don't fuck this all up because you want revenge or whatever you want. You have fellow soldiers to watch. Don't make this about you." My words don't meet her. I can see in her eyes that she's out for Demetri's blood.

* * *

I couldn't imagine them killing David but Aries had more then half of The Resistance on her side. I felt strange to be adorned in a red uniform versus my usual black. Amar and another man lead us through the secure areas leading us right to David's office area.

We round the corner and David knew we were coming and he had lined up his guards, with Demetri being the head of it.

"David steps down or he dies. He's not doing any of us good." The man up front spoke to Demetri.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. My gut is telling me something is going to go terribly wrong with this.

I stood next to Lauren, Tori, George, and Xavier our guns in all our hands ready for battle between our own sides in this place. I especially look to Lauren, worrying about her. This is exactly why emotions are bad.

Demetri's sadistic laugh breaks the silence, "You bastards have to go through us first." That did it as the first shots rang out. I pushed Lauren to the side with me taking cover as the bullets flung everywhere. It was a sight to see the drones on both sides trying to protect their masters.

I hear a familiar cry and see Xavier shot down with a wound to his stomach. I tell Lauren not to move as I run to him.

"Eric. Lauren. Demetri. Go." He spits out as Nita emerges and pulls him to safety. I turn to see Lauren raging at Demetri…of course she took the fucking opportunity, damn it. This isn't the time for this but her emotions have taken over and I sigh at that weakness that I've now found myself. I rush to cover her from getting shot at as she skillfully throws knives at him in a signature Lauren style. She learned to throw them at the weak spots of the shield actually breaking its hold.

"Lauren stop!" I yell when I realize she's close to actually hitting him, his drones weak. She doesn't move as I move towards her to try to physically tear her away from him.

"Aw look how little pathetic Eric is trying to save his girl." He spits before shooting at both of us. "Eric Coulter cares about someone other then his bastard self how cute." He's trying to egg me on and I won't let him. Four comes to my left side now trying to help cover me since we've become targets. This is stupid and how to get killed. Damn it Lauren. Why is the Stiff watching my back?

I look around to realize most of David's guards are dead as this is the last battle left. That's it, I'm handing Demetri his ass.

I rush towards him my shields still working as he shoots at me. Lauren screams as I hear Four disarm her.

"Come on bitch. Kill me." Demetri purrs towards me. If I kill Lauren's father I know she won't forgive me for not letting her do it. Guess I'll have to wound him a little or a lot and see if he survives.

The plus side of this is that it's the distraction other members needed to slip into David's office since we're right in front of it.

I shoot at a weak spot of Demetri's shield and he cries out as the bullet goes through the shield and directly into his left thigh.

I shoot again in the same spot and his shield crumbles around him. He tries to shoot at me but realizes it's no use as my shield won't be as weak and charges at me. I easily put more bullets in him, aimlessly shooting at his body. I use my drones now to protect the front of me knowing that my front needs covered rather then my back.

He can't touch me and I laugh as I go to put a bullet in his head, I'm knocked down by a sudden pain in the left of my back realizing I've been shot. It's enough for him to get an edge as he turns my drones off. He tries to grab my gun when I hear multiple shots at us. I feel more but I can't distinguish where they are in my body as my vision goes black.

* * *

 **LAUREN'S POV**

"Four! Let me go! Damn it!" His arms are tightly around me as I struggle to break free to go after both Eric and Demetri.

Eric is going to kill Demetri. There is no doubt in my mind about that as I'm forced to watch. Just when I think Four loosens his grip on me it's held tightly again as I try to break free.

I want to kill Demetri. Eric has enough blood on his hands. No one knows Demetri is my father though but Eric, Aries, Xavier, and myself. It's sick that I want to kill him, but I'm vengeful.

Tori and Nita are running into David's office as the scene of Eric and Demetri has created the perfect distraction. Aries storms in after I see someone take Xavier and others for medical attention. I look at her with wide eyes as she realizes what is happening.

She does the unexpected. She looks at me as she shoots Eric directly in the left of his back, what could be a fatal shot. I can't react fast enough as I thrash against Four as he loosens his grip in disbelief of what Aries has just done as well. I escape until Amar snatches me up and more shots are rung.

"Aries what have you done!" Amar shouts at her as I turn to see a pool of blood lying around both men. This wasn't the plan. There's no stopping me as Amar lets me run to Eric with him and Four following me.

"Eric! Eric!" I say as I kneel down around his head. I check his neck for a pulse, which thankfully he still has. Aries shot him in the back left, right arm, and left shoulder. I don't care about the other man bleeding out before me. He may biologically be my father but I'll take the dead Erudite traitor who raised me instead.

There's so much blood…

I look to Eric's face as his lips turn blue suddenly and a banshee like scream escapes my body, as I can't find a pulse.


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Second update in two days! Make sure you've read previous chapter first!**

* * *

 **Lauren's POV**

"REVIVE HIM!" I yell as I feel hands pulling me away from his body. Screams leave my throat as no one is helping him. Blood is starting to appear more rapidly around his body as my hands left the wounds. I stare in horror as Amar and Nita step in to his body. They check him for his nonexistent pulse as Amar starts doing compressions on his chest until another solider stops him.

I realize that I'm pulled into Four's chest, as he literally has to drag me away from Eric. "Four let me save him! FOUR!" I'm desperate to get back to Eric's body. I have to find a pulse or save him. He can't die on me not now. Not with how we left things all because of my stupid father.

"Lauren." He says sternly as to soothe me but it only makes me cry out more as I realize this may be the last I ever see Eric. They tolerate him here, but that doesn't mean that they will save him if he's this far gone. The blood, the deep color of it still covers the floor, spreading more by the moment. More soldiers gather around both bodies as I'm left with my back into Four's chest as he does everything he can to stop me from moving forward.

I watch in horror as they move Demetri's body confirming he's dead. A part of me is sad and another part of me is relived that the monster will never know I was his daughter. I'll never get to tell the sexist pig how much I despise him and how glad he never got to destroy me like he did Aries.

"Four, you need to take her and go to Tris in the conference room. Aries wants this scene cleared." I hear Matthew tell Four as they begin to lookover Eric. Why isn't any helping him? Why aren't they trying to restart his heart? Why are they letting him bleed out? Aren't we supposed to be the good guys? Wasn't this the noble side of The Resistance?

* * *

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Tris steps back as I scream at her the second Four pulls me into the conference room. I've fought the whole way here and Four tosses me down, probably sick of my tantrum for Eric. Matthew stands guard and I find it funny. Like Matthew is even capable of holding us in here. Tris is the reason we kept putting things on hold to overtake David and rescue her out of Chicago. He was never supposed to touch her. She was never supposed to have come here herself with the others. The fucking Stiff had to explore beyond the wall even though we were fucking coming for them!

Being that all of my company hates Eric, I know that won't do anything to help me, but I can't stay in here not knowing if Eric is really dead.

Fuck it. If Eric is dead I have nothing to loose.

I walk up swiftly to Matthew as he pulls a gun on me. I laugh so he does know how to use one, or makes it appear that he does.

"Come on Matthew don't pull a gun on a former Dauntless when you don't intend to shoot." I put my hand in the shape of a gun and point at him, which causes him to roll his eyes at my antics.

"Lauren I have orders. I will shoot you." He hesitates the last sentence; this will be easy. His hesitation proves he can't shoot me, or probably anyone.

I look back to Four and Tris who look at me questioningly. I shrug my shoulders and turn back to Matthew who looks like he's actually scared of me for once.

He doesn't know what hit him as I turn and disarm him in seconds. I aim the gun at him as he raises his arms.

"Lauren don't." He looks alarmed that I actually disarmed him. I probably look like an insane woman.

"Is Eric alive?" I ask like I've finally lost my mind.

"I don't have that information at this moment." He says it with a nervous tone.

I laugh, "Bullshit. You're Aries' bitch that's why you're here watching over her daughter."

I go through the doors without him stopping me as I hear him call that I'm armed to his wristband device.

Amar stands before me as I turn the hall. My gun is raised at him, I probably look insane as ever, and he doesn't even react to it but instead walks towards me.

"Hand me the gun and I'll tell you." He says softly putting his unarmed hands out towards me.

"I don't trust you." I click off the safety on the gun as a threat.

"How Candor of you. Laur come on." I hesitate for a second and he grabs it from me skillfully.

George is grabbing me from behind, as I didn't realize he was here too. "Cute, you two ganging up on me," I snarl at them.

"Do I have to drag you or will you come willingly?" George asks annoyed.

"Wherever we are going better be to Eric." I warn with my arms crossed across my chest. I'm almost throwing a tantrum like a child.

They glance at each other and I know that's not where we are going. Before I can protest, George lifts me over his shoulder as I realize we are going past the war scene. Blood puddles the floor yet, but there are no bodies now. Where's Eric?

I'm brought into what used to be David's office now Aries sits in it like she owns the place. Tori is standing behind her and she looks relived to see I didn't wound her brother. This is fucking typical of them. I thought I was in on all this bullshit.

George places me in a chair as him and Amar stand behind me.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Aries condemns to me. "Your selfish needs were not to be put above your fellow soldiers!"

"Where's Eric?" I spit at her not caring for anything else she has to say.

"I don't know how I'm going to send you into Chicago. If you can't work on a squadron." She's avoiding the subject and I won't stand for it.

"WHERE'S ERIC?" I stand and the men behind me move closer.

"He's dead, Lauren." I fall to my knees. Speechless.

He's dead.

Eric is really dead.

"I'm sending a squad into Chicago tonight. Lauren! Listen to me! You are going to Chicago tonight despite your actions here!" She's pleading for me to listen but I can't absorb the words she speaks.

Amar pulls me off the ground as I'm placed back in the chair.

"He can't be dead..." I mumble to the floor hands coming up to my face. "You killed him!" I look at her with murderous eyes as I go to lunge at her I'm quickly pulled back down.

"You have to go on this mission. I have a very special task for you. You're grieving is going to have to wait!" Her eyes have a gleam of evil in them as I look to her. The look that you get when you know you hold all the power in your hands.

"What," It rolls of my tongue like venom as I feel my blood boil at my mother not caring that she just killed the man I love.

"You're going to kill Evelyn." I stand unsure if those are truly the words she just spoke. "Get yourself back in order soldier. Dauntless don't mourn death they celebrate it. Do this in honor of Eric. Kill Evelyn." She's going to use Eric's death to get me to do this.

"Then what?" This is all too strange.

"You will help me with Chicago, you and Four." Like that's going to happen.

"Four? You think he's going to want anything to do with us after I kill his mother?"

"It's safer for Tris he'll understand." She's knows that Tris is his greatest weakness.

"Bullshit. I want to see Eric's body before I leave." It will kill me, but I have to.

"No."

"No?"

"His body has been cremated already." I feel my heart drop. I'll never see him again…

"No!" I shout knowing its doesn't have an effect. These people don't care that Eric is dead. My own mother doesn't care that she killed her daughter's boyfriend at all. How fucked up is that?

"You're dismissed. You're order is not to be known by anyone on your squad then Amar and George." She almost sounds like Jeanine.

"What if I don't do this?" I challenge.

"Don't complete the mission and your memory will be wiped and you'll be placed in a new city." She's definitely sounding like Jeanine now.

* * *

I make it to my living quarters before losing it at the sight of Eric's clothing.

I take his shirt in my hands that still lingers of the smell of him as I look around realizing the shattered glass still lies on the floor as well as his open bottle of whiskey. I set his shirt down as I go for the bottle downing as much of it as I can before smashing it to the wall in anger. I head to the bedroom loosing myself completely at the sight of his black Dauntless jacket he wore in here. I sit on the bed with it as tears begin to escape my eyes and then I'm sobbing.

How could she do this to me?

Killing my father was fine, but Eric? He wasn't doing anything. Perhaps this was her opportunity to get rid of him and she took it.

I'm startled by arms coming in front of me gently taking the jacket away from me as I see Four and Nita in between my tears.

I start sobbing more as Four pulls me into his chest embracing me and trying to soothe me. I feel a pinch in my left arm as Nita injects me with something.

"What did you do?" I ask frantically pushing away from Four.

"It's to calm you. I'm not wiping your memory calm down." She says quickly.

I press myself back into Four's chest as tears still escape until I feel my body slowly calming down to the point where no tears are left.

Four pulls away to look at me. "We leave in an hour for Chicago. Can you do this? You're our best chance since Evelyn has taken over Erudite. You know the layout better then all of us." He speaks calmly and I nod my head.

I'm going to fight for Eric, even if it kills me.

* * *

 **A/N: Did I make anyone cry? Did I really kill Eric? I think you should keep reading this story to find out…**


	38. Chapter 38

The tactical gear was uncomfortable as I sat squeezed into the back of a truck with the others.

The ache in my heart still existed as well. I have to focus on Chicago first before I can deal with Aries. I can't think about him during this mission or I will lose it. Who am I kidding? I'm already losing it.

The truck stops thirty minutes later as the back door opens to reveal the back of the Erudite building. They want me to lead. I debate if I should just go rogue, but know Aries will wipe my memory the second she finds me.

"Evelyn will be in the control room. I'll get in there to talk to her. The rest of you take control of the building. Any objections?" I command waiting to see Four and Tris disagree, but they surprisingly don't so I command forward. If only Eric could see me now taking control of a squadron like this, I need to stop and focus damn it!

I take out two guards as Amar follows me to where I'm heading straight for Evelyn. George commands the rest of the group and Four gives me a strange look as the elevator doors close.

"We're going to have to stall the elevators for time." Amar states and I nod my head in agreement before putting my gun in its holster to open the elevator panel.

"The control room is the forty seventh floor. We will have to stall it in between to make it non-operational." This building is making the Erudite come out in me.

"I'm proud of you. You've come so far." He pats me on the shoulder, as we get closer to the floor. I grab my knife and cut off the two wires by time we hit forty-five. It stops us perfectly. I bust out to climb up the top of the elevator and over to the ladder on the wall. "What the fuck?" Amar says as he follows me. "I told you I knew this building better then anyone."

Forty-seven is written on the wall as I put my hand on the lever. "Cover me," I say as I open the secret door into the hallway. It's empty which probably isn't a good sign.

We both walk with our guns drawn until I swiftly walk straight into the room at Evelyn who looked surprised that I got up here so quickly. She's surprisingly alone.

"Lauren Dyer. It's a pleasure. I didn't expect your entrance to be so soon." She's calm, which probably means she thinks we didn't come to kill her, and she couldn't be more wrong.

Amar steps out behind me as Evelyn stares smugly at me.

She laughs, "Aries sent her henchman and daughter for me. How adorable."

I raise my gun at her, "Under orders of The Resistance the experiment of Chicago is to be handed back over for them to lead. As of now Evelyn, you have no power here."

She pulls a gun on me as Amar aims at her now too.

"You can't take this city from me!" She exclaims. This is my chance to kill her and I hesitate with my finger on the trigger, as the voice in my head who sounds a lot like Eric screams at me " _Do it! Do it!"_ I'm pressing the gun with the bullet releasing as Evelyn drops with a perfect headshot. She's dead.

I stand frozen in time as Amar calls Aries to confirm she's dead and then commands George to run the message that The Resistance now controls Chicago.

My hand feels heavy with the gun still pressed into it. Amar shakes me but I don't move. He speaks but I don't hear the words. This is all too much.

"Lauren, we need to move! I need to get you out of here!" The words reach me and I'm clutching my gun as he leads me down a hallway.

"Stop!" I recognize the voice to be Uriah's and know that Amity must've decided to raid too. Sure enough Johanna appears from behind him realizing Amar is alive by the look on her face.

"My, my Amar they rose the dead to win their battles. We need to see Evelyn." She says in her uppity Amity way that rubs me the wrong way. I step out from behind Amar and Johanna looks at me with wide eyes.

"That's not necessary. Chicago has been reclaimed by The Resistance." I say strongly. As if on cue, our heads turn to Aries speaking about what has just happened.

" _People of Chicago. You were an experiment created by The Resistance. The time has come where one of you has proved that our experiment was successful thus concluding the faction system. From this point on Chicago is a city in The Resistance. Division is not needed as you all our one whole community. You may create your own sectors of the city with approval. This is a lot to process and myself with other leaders in Resistance will be coming to discuss your future. Evelyn is dead, Jeanine is dead, the conspirers against the Divergents are dead, there is no need to live in fear anymore."_

Johanna stands deadpanned as most of the others are as well. Its enough for Amar to get me out of the building safely. We take one of the trucks as I catch a glimpse of myself in the side mirror, blood all over my face, Evelyn's blood. Johanna knows Amar and I killed Evelyn, well particularly me.

The ride back to The Resistance is quiet for the most part as I think back on my very minimal part tonight.

"He would be proud of you." Amar suddenly says and I look at him like he's gone crazy. "Eric would've been proud."

"Don't talk to me about him like you didn't have a fucking part in his death." I snap.

"She didn't want to kill him. She was left with no choice."

"One shot would've had him down, not three Amar."

* * *

Nita thankfully let's me sleep in her place until I'm awoken by commotion in the early morning.

"Get off Four. You need to get out of here!"

"She killed my mother!"

"Oh please she wasn't your mother until five hours ago when she died!"

So Four has come for his revenge. That didn't take long for him to find out and come back here for me.

I step out near the entryway to see that Nita has a gun on Four and roll my eyes at the rivalry between them.

"Stop." I simply say and Four is at me faster then Nita can move out of his way as he pushes her down in the process.

He's trying to go for my neck kindly wanting to strangle the life out of me. I get the upper hand when I knee him in the stomach making him hesitate for a second due to the pain as I grab his arm and pull it painfully behind him to pin him up against the wall. I look to Nita and motion for her to toss me her gun as I point it straight at Four's head.

"No!" I hear Tris scream as Nita tries to keep her back.

"I didn't hesitate when I shot your mother and I won't with you." I say causing Tris to scream more.

"You're becoming him." Four's eyes meet mine but I don't care.

"That's not going to get the reaction out of me that you want." I warn as I toss the gun down and now pin him with his back to the wall. He head butts me to the ground and is grabbing at my throat within seconds. He's stronger then me and I can't pry him off.

"Tobias stop! Tobias!" Tris screams but it doesn't get through to him. "Caleb is dead too and you don't see me trying to strangle the person who did it!" That makes Four loosen his grip but not enough as I'm starting to lose air. Panic sets in but I try and force it out of my mind.

"Tobias Eaton get your hands off my daughters throat _now_." Aries speaks with a deadly enough tone that Four is getting off of me and brushing past her with Tris following as I choke for breath on the floor.

"Nita, Lauren, the message will be broadcasting soon. Those who are well enough will be seeking shelter here. We are opening the fence. I want you both in uniform to meet anyone who comes through and decide if they are able to come here."

She looks at me directly before she leaves as Nita and I simply nodded at the order.

* * *

I feel uneasy walking to Aries' new office. Still staring at the ground for the body that doesn't exist anymore. I'm still haunted.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts once I'm ushered inside the office.

"We're standing behind her." Tris says to me, the nerve of her to talk to me after her boyfriend tried to kill me.

"Lovely," I remark as I am placed in an appropriate spot.

They countdown to the broadcast and Aries begins speaking.

"People of Chicago. I lived in your city for many years and I know that change is something that you all fear. The time has come to embrace that change as we; The Resistance has completed our experiment in your city. The factions system is over. It is nonexistent. It is time to reclaim the rest of the earth that we can still save from The Fringes. The wall will open for those that wish to join this uprising. We will save what is out there and turn it into it's own cities where you can all live freely among them. We will welcome you with open arms, not guns. People of Chicago, you _are_ free!"

The feed stops as we are rushed to the fence to not truly welcome everyone with open arms. This is a selection and Aries is just another false commander.

* * *

 **A/N:** This story will be ending at Chapter 50. :(


	39. Chapter 39

The rumble of the trucks reminds me that I'm headed to a war zone as many have been shot down from getting to the other side of the fence. None of the Factionless is deemed worthy and they're shot down instantly.

The screams are sickening as I stop watching what's happening on a screen and now are having to face it in real life.

I'm stationed at the Erudite pathway since I known majority of these people. Nita and Peter are also stationed with me and I'm tempted to accidentally shoot Peter since I don't trust him.

Peter shoots a man dead I don't recognize and his wife screams as we try to usher her through she goes to attack Peter and he kills her too.

"What are you doing?" Nita yells as I quickly rush a whole bunch of people through.

"I killed my parents. That's what. We have a job to do." I look at him in horror as the words leave his mouth, how could he kill his own parents that easily?

I see one of Jeanine's trusted guards coming through and I wonder how he escaped the trials in the city. I don't hesitate as I shoot him down.

Nita now looks to me concerned but I don't let it get to me as I scan the crowd.

We leave children through with out question. They didn't ask for their parents. They can't help that they're in this position.

I'm quite surprised at the amount of people who are coming through the fence and not getting scared off by the ruins before us. They all have a gleam of curiosity to them, they're hopeful, but this isn't the salvation they think it is.

It feels as if Aries is creating her own army much like Jeanine did.

Our heads all turn at commotion down further on the fence as the gate shuts before us causing some of the Erudite to run under it before it closes and some get brutally pinned to their deaths.

I hear a man scream and I know instantly who it is, Four.

I'm running and I hear Nita follow, of course Peter doesn't follow, why would he? He's got the every man for himself mentality.

I push through the solemn crowd.

Four's back is to me as I see someone down on the ground with blood covering them.

"Oh my god." The words leave my mouth as soon as I see it.

Tris lies with a bullet in her forehead blood covering her.

She's dead.

" _She's the reason for the war!"_

" _Stupid child! You deserved death!"_

" _A martyr for the cause!"_

" _A hero gone too soon!"_

I look to the crowd who begins to shout. Tris saved them and this is how they repay her with death?

Four stands frozen and emotionless as ever with the body before him.

I wipe the tears from my eyes that I didn't realize were there. I watched this girl grow to be as strong as she is, was, and now look at her.

I need to be the leader here. I need to take a stand.

"Nita, call for Amar and a truck to escort the body and Four back to The Resistance. Tell them will need more soldiers as well," she nods as I turn to the crowd, "Who did this?" I yell as powerfully as possible causing some to jump at my volume.

I hear footsteps approaching as I realize Christina is coming, Candor being the furthest from this part of the fence.

"TRIS!" She screams and what is left of my heart breaks.

Amar arrives quickly with the trucks and more soldiers. He clears the scene with precision. I need to move Four onto the truck so he doesn't see them take her body. I shouldn't be kind to him after he tried to kill me, but I know what losing the person you love is like.

I stand in front of him, "Four," his eyes don't move they just stare endlessly at the sight of Tris with a bullet in her head. He's freezing it into his memory to punish himself later, typical Four. Amar comes beside me, "Tobias we need to leave here."

* * *

It took everything to get Four to move and bring him back to The Resistance. The second Amar comes to watch him I'm booking it to Aries' office slamming open the door and causing her guards to leave, they knew this was coming.

"What the hell happened out there? How did Tris end up dead? And don't tell me you don't know because there were cameras in all of our uniforms!" I shout at her.

"She had to die." She says simply.

She planned to kill her all along.

"You killed the very thing that proved this whole experiment worked? Is that what you're saying?"

She stands before me, "No you foolish child. From the very moment she painted herself as a saint for her city and revealed what was beyond the wall she was a threat. There were two people with 100% Divergence. She threated the others normality what they knew and there morals. She died a martyr. That's what they needed and so that's what happened. The person that saved them had to become a martyr for them to realize this was real. I didn't want her dead but that was the logic that made sense to the people of Chicago. Tori killed her Lauren and now I have to deal with my best friend betraying me."

"Try having your mother betray you." I retort.

"In time child you shall see." Well that's cryptic of her.

* * *

A Resistance funeral was unlike anything I'd experienced in both Erudite and Dauntless. Tris was laid out in a casket for people to pay respects, or see their martyr one last time.

Four sat aimlessly at the front and I decided to sit next to him.

"She didn't deserve this." I say hoping to get him to snap out of him blaming himself for this.

"I'm sorry," I look at him, "For what?"

"For trying to kill you and for his death. I should've done something to help him."

The Abnegation shines through, and I shake my head. "Don't put all the blame on yourself. None of this is your fault."

"But she's dead. I should've stopped her from coming here until it was safe. I shouldn't have trusted that she would be okay here with what she was."

I place my hand on his shoulder, "Four, she was _never_ safe. No matter what you would've done."

Four stares as if he's seen a ghost and the room goes silent at the appearance of Natalie and Andrew Prior. Most thought that they were dead. I'm guessing Aries had them kept securely here. They only get to have a funeral for one of their children and not the other. Caleb's body is probably rotting in Erudite somewhere.

They go to the casket before coming to Four, who is about to lose it at any second, and Natalie smiles at me.

"Don't blame yourself Tobias. She saved many. Her spirit will always linger on with you." She touches his shoulder and Andrew does the same before they both disappear out of the room leaving many questions unanswered.

Four abruptly gets up and I follow him, rather chase him back to his room before his on the floor bursting into tears. I sit and pull his head into my chest in attempts to soothe him.


	40. Chapter 40

_"We controlled you all to see how you would react, different emotions by different serums. We used you as test subjects without your permission and that's our fault. This is on us. Our own daughter's death is on us."_

The words from Andrew Prior still haunt me five years later.

We learned that it was time for change, a real change. No more controlling. No more experiments without willing knowing participants.

Chicago, Philadelphia, New York City, Richmond, and Nashville are now our cities each with a leader for the entire city. Physically the lands are like a circle. The leaders make the decisions for the people a come together quarterly and more if need be. The cities have grouped themselves into their own factions; the people sectored themselves off that way because it's all they've ever known.

Chicago is the furthest for obvious reasons and it's still recovering from the wars we put it through. Then Nashville and Richmond are the far out cities, which are quieter and have seen their fair share of recovery as well. Though Richmond is four hours from Philadelphia and New York being five hours, those cities are more connected.

The Priors made a mess of everything. I don't know what else to say. There was a lot of war and a lot of heartbreak.

I sit overlooking James River in downtown Richmond outside my office windows. Of course Four became in charge of everything because he was the fan favorite. It took months to come up with this plan though. Now here I am in my third year of being the leader of Richmond. Do I deserve this? I went haywire there for a while with the rest of them. I wanted revenge and it never came. Aries went to jail for still testing serums after David's demise. Eric is still dead, and so is Tris. I tried to kill Peter, no luck there. Lance and I got reunited and he now lives in Richmond as the head of the nurses in our very own hospital.

The rest of what is left of the world is amazing. The major cities and their vacant buildings remain. Places in the United States, what they used to call this land, like Florida, Maine, Vermont, Texas and majority of the West Coast were wiped away. There's a lot of once nuclear land out there.

I don't think much about what my life was like five years ago or my time at Chicago. Where I am now is like a whole different place. It's full of rebuilding homes and places and most importantly, it's full of hope.

I've put my peoples needs first. I've listened and I've never once forced any of them to do something they didn't want to do. That's one thing all the failed rulers of Chicago and The Resistance taught me.

The hospital just opened two months ago and I've never been so proud. There's a lot of former Abnegation here to help people in need. There's no homeless with a building for everyone. If there isn't a building someone makes one. So many things have been repurposed and made into great new things. There's a small force of police, or better known as The Protectors that make sure the land and people are how they should be. There almost done remodeling the second school for the children.

The best part is knowing that I've signed off for all of this to happen. I'm now making a difference and there's no violence needed.

* * *

Xavier enters my office. "You're boyfriend is a pain in my ass please help."

I laugh at him, "What did you do?"

He makes a dramatic face as if he's hurt and I laugh more.

"Miss Dyer I did nothing! I don't like your tone!" He sits in the chair in front of my desk and props his feet on the front of it.

"What's going on?"

"Simon wants me to go with Amar to the Courtyards." The Courtyards is where any homeless or unsettled people go.

"Why is that a problem?"

"I don't want to walk there. Why can't we have fancy trucks to patrol?"

I roll my eyes, "One we don't have the funding for that, and two trucks are only to travel from city to city. We value fitness you know." I say the last part sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah I just want to be a fat ass with all the amazing food the Kitchen serves."

Simon walks in and winks at me and I smile. Xavier turns around and is disgusted by our small display of affection causing both Simon and I to chuckle.

"Leave my girl alone we're going to the Courtyards in twenty minutes!" Simon yells as Xavier leaves. "So sweetie, I was thinking when I come back we can go for a walk along the river?"

"I am actually offended that you would ask me, a former Dauntless, on such a boring date."

Simon's from Philly and what he lived in was worst then the Fringe. Worst then anything. Chicago was heaven compared to the hell Philly was. It turned itself around though from what I knew of it to be. Simon tells me his sister is amazed that it's the same place now.

* * *

Walking out of the officials building and into the streets gives me a feeling I never thought I would have. People, my people wave and say hello to me out of respect, some even nod at me when I walk past. I'm not a ruthless leader that everyone is afraid of. I head to the Courtyards to patrol with Simon and Xavier.

* * *

Hand in hand Simon and I walk alongside the river. His voice is soothing as he talks about his day to me. This seems so boring but so great at the same time.

Eric would hate this. Even now that we would both be older, he'd still hate it. I shouldn't think about him when I'm with Simon but I can't help thinking of what could've been.

"Babe?" Simon pulls me out of those thoughts quickly.

"Hmm?" I answer.

He pulls me into his chest, "I love you," he says and I don't have it in me to say it back. It doesn't feel right as if it's not genuine.

I smile at him and he smiles back not taking offense to my silence.

"Are you still in love with him?" He asks bluntly.

"Who?" I ask not wanting to admit it.

"The man who your mother killed."

"Eric."


	41. Chapter 41

I stumble up when I hear the door open to my cell. No one ever opens the door. They just toss food through the slot and leave.

The light hurts my eyes from inside my darken prison.

"What the hell did she do?" A familiar voice says and I don't need to look up to know who is here, Four.

I have no sarcastic remarks left in me. I just want out. I've faced more of my fear landscape in here then I ever wanted to in real life. Maybe Four is finally here to end my sorry ass. What if all this torture was just to die?

They never told anyone I'm alive. I wonder how easily Lauren moved on.

I feel my visitors standing over me wondering what the hell to do with me. I'm sure I'm unrecognizable; hair long grown, beard, and I don't even know when I bathed last.

Aries put me through hell. I don't know what lesson she wanted to teach me or if she just wanted me to rot in here away from her daughter.

They pull me up easily as my large bulk is gone. I'm a shell of the man that I used to be.

Four leads as I see his back tattoos poking out of his dark shirt. Two men hold me up as we walk to an unfamiliar corridor, or maybe I just don't remember it. My muscles ache with the amount of activity I'm doing. My cell wasn't large enough to keep myself in shape. I personally think Aries built it for that purpose.

I'm sat down as Four sits across from me and I make eye contact with him.

"Go ahead, belittle me, you're on the right side of this now." I say.

Four does that thing with his eyebrows scrunch together. "Aries told us you were alive on her deathbed. If you think I would've kept you in there if I would've known you've lost your mind, but maybe you did in there. Do you know how many years you've been in there?" He asks as if I'm a child.

"One." I say irritated.

The people in the room shift as Four stands at me blankly, "Eric, you've been presumed dead for almost six years."

The bile in my stomach churns as the contents are released out of my mouth before I can stop it. All my fears coming true right before me. The mess is cleaned quickly as I'm offered a napkin.

"There has been wars in which resulted in a new system. There are five cities: Chicago, Philly, New York, Nashville, and Richmond all with their own leaders and the people divided themselves into factions amongst the cities. This territory is now considered apart of Chicago, which I am the leader of."

Figures he leads Chicago always born to lead and chosen unlike myself. He pauses when I don't say anything to his leadership. Well, he sure as hell wasn't getting a congrats from me.

"We are going to let you get cleaned up and then discuss your future in one of the cities. It's going to take awhile for you to readjust." He almost sounds concerned.

"Where's Aries, still on her death bed?" I want to strangle that bitch to her death.

"She's dead already. We haven't broke the news and don't plan on it to not cause upheaval."

"Wow lying to your people already, what a leader."

"You can not tell anyone. I'm only telling you this because I know you want revenge."

* * *

I stayed under the water in the shower for probably two hours. A barber shaved my face and fixed my hair. I mustered enough courage to look at my form in the mirror. I looked like the old Eric, but skinny and tortured. Even in my eyes I could still see the despair from what Aries put me through.

They led me to an office once I was dressed and I knew it was Four's the second I stepped into it.

I stand with my arms crossed as his motions for me to sit and I roll my eyes but oblige.

He goes to sit at his desk and hands me a tablet.

"There's all the information about the cities on there, see what one you feel you would fit best in."

I laugh, "It's that simple?"

"You can try one or two out even till you find one. It's that simple."

I read through what Chicago is now and am amazed. I read through the others and my chest has a twitch in it at Richmond. _Leader: Lauren Dyer_

I look up Four instantly after I read her name and by the look on his face he was expecting it.

"She's doing well." He says as a reassurance.

I spend the next hour reading through the cities and I'm baffled by the structure of them all, it really has changed.

Four sits at his desk busy on his laptop as I read.

"What would you pick for me Four?"

"It's overwhelming isn't it?" I nod.

"Well I don't recommend Chicago. Many Amity stayed. I'd choose Philly or Richmond." It seemed like an honest answer.

"If I go where she leads…what is she like now?"

"She has a boyfriend. She's a more mature version of herself. She'd probably assist you more then any of the other leaders."

I'm fucking confiding in Four. Lauren will either ignore me or accept me and I don't know why, but that worries me.

"If I go to her…as to seek her out…" I start to ask but he interrupts me.

"She'll be your friend Eric." It's genuine.

* * *

They wanted me to get adjusted to all the new regulations and even learn what has happened since I've been held captive.

Tori killed Tris. Which I found out by asking Four where is Stiff was. I hate the guy but I never wished that for him. The Prior's are still alive though and took blame for everything. Both their children are dead because of their own actions.

Johanna turned to her Dauntless roots and crafted a war against The Resistance. Erudite and Amity buildings are in ruins. Where I called home for the early years of my life is left in crumbles, not that I miss the white walls but it astonishes me the force that the people had during the war. Dauntless was set on fire, which didn't burn the building but anything else in it. The honest Candor still stand, their building intact. Many buildings have been renovated.

Then I learned of the wars to take control of the other cities. Four and Lauren led it and I couldn't be prouder of her.

I've realized things my time in my cell. I'm a gentler bastard then I was. I've faced more of my fears there then I ever wanted to. I was forgotten, but now I'm thirty years old. If this were Dauntless I'd have maybe fifteen years left before it was time to off myself. Now I feel though as if I haven't lived and I have all the time in the world.

* * *

Four walks around with me in the Dauntless compound. It's next on the rehab list and he wants more insight from me about what some of the rooms were.

Part of me wants to go to see the condition of my old place and hers too. Is there anything left? Books? Clothes?

Four senses it when I keep trying to trail off in the direction of my apartment. Instead he walks me to hers. There's a sophisticated lock on it and he decodes it letting me in.

"The top floor apartments just had water damage mostly. We locked up all the rooms with things in them incase the previous inhabitants ever came back." He says as I look at furniture and some moldy books.

"She got here the day after the fire was out. Salvaged some of her clothes, books, and weapons and took them to The Resistance." I hear him but I don't answer as I walk through the familiar apartment it makes me feel better, like not everything I've ever known is gone.

"Who tried to fight the fire?" I ask after coming out of her bedroom.

"We had water tankers from Amity here…well after we stole them." He says smugly.

Next we head to my apartment that has the same type of lock on it.

There's a lot of damage and it's been untouched, which I'm not surprised.

"I'll be back in awhile." Four says as I nod back to him.

It pains me to see my books and all of my things in this condition. I'm not materialistic, but I wanted to feel at home in my former home, but this isn't home anymore.

I head to my bedroom where glass scatters the floor and bed. My wardrobe still stands and I open it to see much of it is still okay. I grab a duffle and toss one of my old vests in it. I try to move it to get to the safe behind it but I don't have enough muscle anymore to do it. I'm going to have to ask for Four's help, again.

I take some books and a pair of boots while I wait for Four to return.

"Uh Four, can I ask you for something?" He looks at me strangely; glad it's awkward for him too. I explain and of course the former Stiff is more then happy to help.

He stands over me when I reach my safe and doesn't ask questions. I pull out the book Lauren had first read when we were children that I stole from Erudite before we left and a knife that was given to me as a gift from the leaders. Lastly, a pocket watch my father had given me when I was a child. I get up from crouching at the safe and walk straight through my apartment for the last time.

Like a phoenix I rise from the ashes of Dauntless and my old life.

It's time to start my new life in Richmond as a new Eric Coulter.


	42. Chapter 42

Four had scheduled and in person meeting with me which alarmed me. Was another war brewing? Was something wrong?

"I have someone I think you'll want to see." Four says as I stand.

In he walks and I deadpan.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I'd never thought I'd see him again. The boy who was always disappointed when I took the library book he wanted was in front of me at my office door. His blueish-grey eyes looked hopeful as he hair lied in curls on his head and it looked like he lost his bulk, truly looking like a lost boy.

Eric was alive before me.

I'm too speechless to say anything but look at Four who is smiling at me as Eric smirks slightly while shutting my door behind him.

"How?" Is all I can muster.

"Aries kept him locked up. It was a recent development from her captivity that he was still alive." Four explains.

The room is awkward. As I imagined reuniting with him after he was shot. Kissing him and telling him how much I loved him, but that's all different now. Time has passed. What do I tell him? He's unusually quiet but if he was secluded, logically it makes sense.

"Who was feeding him?" Gosh I sound like a concerned parent.

"One of her bodyguards. I came here to help purpose his living in your city. Him and I feel that this would be the best place for him to reside." Four and Eric are on the same page? Shocker. Four is also helping Eric and Eric is letting him? This is bizarre. Is this even real?

"Coulter," I almost choke speaking his name so directly, "Why Richmond? What can you bring to this city?" It's a question I ask everyone who seeks a home here, but this is the hardest.

"I'm interested in the program you have going here. I've read that there's been a lot of rehabilitation as well as growing. You're also the furthest from Chicago, which I have to say adds to the equation. I don't know your current positions but something in security would benefit my background." He's matured. Damn this makes everything worst.

I look to Four as he raises his eyebrows at me to continue.

"Well I see no reason why you couldn't be apart of this community. How aware of you of the new government?" I instantly regret asking that thinking I may have offended him.

"I'm former Erudite. My brain still works, Dyer." I should've known.

"My apologies. I'll have someone come to get you sorted into housing." He nods to me as I sit back down at my desk pretending like I have something important to tend to on my computer.

* * *

"That could've come with a warning Four!" I yell at him the second Eric is taken to housing.

I pass him the bottle as we sit on my couch in my office.

"I just brought the love of your life back from the dead and this is what you say to me?" Oh he's offended? I'm offended.

"Four, I'm with Simon. What if he was here? I've told him quite a bit about Eric…" Four cuts me off. "So you're saying he'd feel threatened by Eric's return."

I instantly regret my words, but maybe it's because I feel Simon will doubt our relationship once he sees Eric is back in the picture.

I didn't let anyone in for months after Eric's "death." So yeah I decided when I got here that maybe I finally deserved something and if that fell into play, which it did, I'd take the chance.

I'm too consumed with work though and now I don't even know how to deal with this.

I'll admit I've dreamed of this day but I never thought it would actually happen.

"Lauren, are you okay?" I realize Four got alarmed at my silence.

"No." I answer honestly. How am I supposed to digest this?

"If Tris walked through the door again...gosh Lauren. I would take the chance in a heartbeat." I'm surprised Four made such an honest confession. I squeeze his hand in comfort. This is a situation I've never thought of actually happening.

* * *

I eat dinner at my apartment in silence. Consumed by my thoughts. I told Simon to not even bother coming over that I was too busy, too busy of my thoughts of Eric. He got placed into housing and Four said he told Xavier so he should be there to settle him.

Four had also given me access to the file on Eric before he left back for Chicago. It's his whole life from Erudite to Dauntless to The Resistance to apparently what Aries did to him.

I don't want to read it but my Erudite curiosity gets the best of me.

I skip to The Resistance part and break down when I read what their plans were all along for him.

They wanted to destroy him.

They abused him emotionally, physically, and sexually.

My god.

He stood as tall as ever and this is what he's gone through? Tears run down my cheeks as I can't fathom what his emotions are like now. I can't fathom who he is anymore either. They broke him down.

I decide to see if Xavier got him settled and to give me details on his behavior. Now I'm worried that there's so much pent up anger Eric is just going to burst. It's not healthy for him to bottle it up. I don't even know how to help him because he'll talk to no one.

Xavier texts me back that he'll be at my apartment. I'm still crying when he enters as he sees all the papers before me.

"It's bad isn't it?" He asks before sitting across from me.

I nod yes, "How is he? How does he seem? Is he settled?"

"Well mom," I kick him under the table and we both laugh. "He's more reserved. Very mannerly and appreciative which was a little strange. He shook my hand when he realized it was me. Cause you know I'm such a stud these days. Anyway it seems like he has a damn Erudite thinking cap on. He ate with me and didn't talk much. Why the fuck aren't you talking with him? Did you toss Simon under the bus yet?" I kick him again.

"Why does everyone keep saying I'm dumping Simon!"

"Lauren, the love of your life just came back from the fucking dead! You're telling me that means nothing to you?"

I stare at him unable to answer and he shakes his head.

"I don't know what to do. I never saw this coming Xavier." I say quietly.

"Hey. You gotta do what's best for you. Get to know Eric again. If you dump Simon he'll know why. You've told him about Eric. He knows. He'll get it."

"I'm sick of hurting people." I say.

He laughs and I look at him strangely, "You act like you're physically hurting the guy. I'm telling you that you're allowed to do this. If Eric is your soulmate you go fucking after him!"

What do I do?


	43. Chapter 43

Xavier had grateful caught me up on the more important stuff that I couldn't read on a tablet. Like Lauren's boyfriend. No wonder she wasn't all over me, not that I expected it but, I was hoping for that reunion. In my time locked up against my will I've thought about reuniting with her. That was at the lower end of what I wanted to happen. I mean she didn't kick me out of her city either so I'm taking these all as good signs.

"You should kill that bitch for what she did to you!" Xavier yells and once again I'm shaking my head at his bluntness.

"It's not like I've even told Lauren yet."

"Maybe when you do she'll want to kill her herself."

If he only knew.

Xavier walks with me around the grounds and gets tense when a man walks towards him.

"I didn't think this was apart of your job?" He's questioning Xavier.

"Ask Lauren." He replied and tried to walk away.

"This is him and you aren't even going to introduce me?" Who was this fucker.

Xavier groaned, "Eric. This is Simon. He's in charge of the security patrols, happy now?"

He stares at me like I'm gum stuck to his shoe.

"It's nice to finally meet the infamous Eric. Hear you're looking for something in security. Think you'd be up for patrol? I don't think you'd sit around watching the monitors all day."

"If it wouldn't be a problem, I wouldn't mind patrolling." I say honestly. Part of me doesn't want to be in confined spaces anymore.

Simon looks taking back, "It wouldn't be a problem. I'll okay it with Lauren and go from there.

* * *

We sit with two of Xavier's friends, Maura and Alex, both seem nice and ask me what city I transferred from. I leave out the part where I was "dead" for 5 years. They don't fear me like most did in Chicago because my reputation doesn't precede me here and I have to admit that it is a nice change. I actually crave the human interaction after being abandoned for so long.

"Why does Simon have a board up his ass today?" Xavier asks Maura.

She laughs, "Lauren and him are fighting." There's my ray of hope.

"Maura, you can't keep your mouth shut can you!" Lauren suddenly comes up and everyone thinks she's serious until she smiles. "Yeah him and I are fighting but that's not important, Eric how's everything?" She directly asks me and her eyes meet mine and I swear I'm going to get electrocuted from the spark that just ignited.

"Not too bad. Simon asked me about security patrolling and I accepted."

She pulls her hair out of her face, "Yeah I don't see a problem. I just want you to get adjusted first."

"He's been here two days shouldn't he maintain a schedule?" Alex asks making me irritated.

"Shouldn't you be working in the hospital by now Alexander?" Lauren questions, "You as well Maura, security needs eyes." They both groan and leave.

"Way to get rid of my friends Lauren." Xavier pouts and she squeezes his cheeks. "You're a baby. Get over it."

She got rid of them so they wouldn't question my past or more likely the last five years.

"Eric, I'd like to see your apartment to see what else you need. I know we are low on some furniture and stuff but we can only make it so fast." She's asking to be alone with me in my apartment. Xavier's eyes are wide as if he's signaling me to say yes and quit stalling.

* * *

"So you need a bookcase, clearly." She laughs at all the books I took from my old place and the giant box Xavier got to give me. She starts looking through them and goes towards the box as I stand there in awe that I get to be in the presence of this woman again.

"Oh my god. Xaiver stole this box from the archives." She laughs even more.

I walk over to her looking to see what's even in it. "I didn't ask questions, but it's creepy how many books he got that I think I will like."

"Astronomy, guns, and theory. Eric Coulter if he were in books. This one," she picks it up and shows me a yellow book, "is actually really good." She hands it to me and are hands touch. She awkwardly walks away and goes in the kitchen going through my cabinets.

"Well I'm getting you better food and alcohol." She says closing the fridge.

"I can manage," I offer not wanting her to go through the trouble and she waves her hand off at me now going down the hallway to my bedroom.

She's going through my dresser when I reach her. I want to stop her before she finds the one thing I don't want her to but I'm too late.

She pulls out her dog tags that were still on my dresser that morning all hell broke loose. Most Dauntless had them since we were the army faction.

"How did you get these?" She asks silently.

"Four took me back to my apartment. That's how I got my books and stuff. They were under the bed since my place got wrecked."

She turns to me her eyes unreadable and engulfs me in a hug. I hesitate at first, again not used to the contact and return it, engulfing her back.

Neither of us let go. I contemplate it but then do it. I pull her away just enough so that I can lean down to kiss her. She closes her eyes and I take that as a sign that she isn't running away.

My lips meet hers and everything is right in the world as she responds back. It's passionate and the reunion I hoped for. I can't stop myself from kissing down her neck and holding onto her waist like I'm never letting go. I can't take advantage of her so I pull away and she looks at me questioningly.

"Eric. I'm still with Simon." She says hesitantly and I curse at myself.

I look at her deadpanned.

"You don't have to say anything. I expect that reunion too but a lot has changed." She only gave in to fill what her mind thought would happen when we met again.

* * *

I don't know how many laps I make around the outskirts of the city. I'm sure someone's watching me like I've gone crazy. I'm relieved to feel so free. My muscles burn from all the activity as I walk back to my apartment building. I pass many people on my way back who all seem to mind their business. It's still strange to not have people try to run at the appearance of my face.

* * *

I head to the hospital for a physical and am not looking forward to it.

"Coulter. It's good to see you, come with me." Lance. Of course Lauren put him here.

I follow him down a hallway and into an exam room.

"Have a seat. The chair will tell me everything I need to know." He presses a button as the machine makes a noise. The chair scans my body checking for anything wrong and checks my vitals as well.

"You haven't been sleeping?" Lance asks with a tablet in hand.

"Couple hours." I shrug.

"Are you eating?"

"Yeah." What did the dumb machine tell him.

"3 meals and 2 snacks?" He raises his eyebrow at me.

"A meal…" I look down at my feet.

"Your blood pressure is elevated and some of your levels are off probably from not a constant diet and rest. Do I have to send you for a psych evaluation?" He asks as if I'm a child going anyway.

"No."

"Because I know you've been through hell and don't want someone poking around at you, come back in two weeks and if your levels are better and everything I'll not force you to go and I won't unlock this file for Lauren to see. She's worried about you."

Not worried enough to breakup with Simon.

* * *

I walk into my apartment at the sight of Lauren cooking. Her long brown hair falls down her back, she's had it up since I've seen her, and she's out of uniform in more casual clothes.

"What's this?" I ask. I wasn't expecting this.

"Hello to you too. I hacked your report. I created the system and used my Erudite smarts to get into it. You need a good meal so I'm cooking us one." I roll my eyes at her.

"I can fend for myself you know." I say defensive.

"Shut up." She says as she continues cooking.

After dinner we walk to her place. She mumbled something about how it's only fair to see her place too since it's one of the nicest apartments.

"Lance lives down a floor and Xavier the one after that but he won't accept it." She opens her door and I can see why. The place is huge. Literally a whole floor to herself with separate rooms.

"This is insane Lauren."

She laughs at my awe. One wall is filled with books as a large couch is placed in the middle of that room. I follow her to her kitchen which is small but suitable. She has a spare room, an office, two bathrooms, and then her bedroom. Her place is well put together unlike mine.

"I wanted to give you a place in this building but figured it would be too strange so I started you in the middle level buildings." She opens her blinds to reveal a nice view of what looks like a park.

I don't like the tension between us in the room. It's like we're both walking on glass.

Something's gotta give.

* * *

 _AN: 7 more chapters left of this story!_


End file.
